28 JAN 07: FUTURE SCHLOCK
I have seen the future - and it is filled with spam. In fact, you can expect to see spam for at least the next 31 years. But I am NOT suggesting you try to keep a can of Spam luncheon meat stored in your pantry that long....
SPAM-A-RAMA: I discovered the future of e-mail spam the other day, right at my own computer. You may have noticed our "Burkard Bulk Mail Index," which counts the number of spam messages in my InBox. The B.B.M.I. number has dropped by several thousand in recent months -- leading me to wonder if the senders were investing in TV infomercials instead.
I normally never look at the Bulk Mail part of the InBox, but a hunt for one particular message made me go there. That's when I was stunned to discover I had e-mails dated "January 2038." And none of them seemed to be from Governor Sonny Perdue, promoting long-term care again.
What stunned me even more was how "future spam" overwhelmed the Bulk Mail box. I had to plow through more than 1,000 items from the next 31 years, to reach messages from this month. If only some of them had titles naming the winners of future Super Bowls or Presidential elections....
Based on the top page of the Bulk Mail box, "replica watches" will be popular items in 2038. It's enough to make me hold onto my current ones until about 2025, then sell them as collectibles on eBay.
(Please note these are "replica" versions of Rolex and similar watches. Maybe the spammers are predicting by 2038, the high-end companies will be bought out by Wal-Mart.)
So why would e-mails from 2038 be reaching me in 2007? Have the online stores somehow figured out when my current watch batteries will die?
I have my own theory about these e-mails dated 2038. Spam messages in the B.B.M.I. are automatically purged, if they're more than 30 days old. So the spammers somehow are putting dates on them far in the future, to get around the 30-day time limit. It's sort of like the landfill tipping fee mess in reverse....
Another advantage of putting the year 2038 on your e-mail is that it goes to the top of the list. It shows up on the first page of messages, even above the current ones -- which makes it a much more likely candidate for deletion.
Yet I intentionally do NOT delete anything in the Bulk Mail box anymore. It's more interesting for me to see how many spam messages pile up, and see if the total reflects some sort of hidden statement. The B.B.M.I. is starting to climb back, after dropping about 75 percent in the fall -- so maybe spammers were distracted by football season.
E-MAIL UPDATE: Back on the nicer side of the InBox, this news item reached us before the Friday afternoon news mentioned it:
Wal-Mart For Lease?
I drove by the old Wal-Mart on Airport Thruway this morning and saw a sign that said "BUILDING FOR LEASE - Call 479-204-0271" and was completely turned around. After contacting Travis at Wal-Mart Realty it looks like their marketing department or who-ever is in charge of signage mistakenly put up a BUILDING FOR LEASE SIGN on the road and the building.
Attached is the reply from Travis.
Aaron....
We are tearing it down. The sign shouldn't have been put up, and is being removed today or tomorrow. Thanks for the inquiry.
Travis L. Rodgers
Real Estate Manager
The now-empty Wal-Mart and Sam's Club on Airport Thruway are turn into a new Wal-Mart SuperCenter over the next few months. Given what happened to the old Circuit City down the street, it's a wonder the realty office wasn't overwhelmed with offers from church pastors.
Wal-Mart Realty told WRBL they didn't know who put up the "building for lease" sign on Airport Thruway. Maybe it was a disgruntled employee at Target.
Our Instant Message from Friday also brought a comment - but not from the place where we sent it:
Last summer a friend had her debit card kept by the cashier at Fire House..By 10AM the next morning more than $2000 had been charged on it...The criminal was caught on video at sub store and other young friends were caught on video using the card at Wal Mart in Phenix City...So far..no arrest....Fire House did "fire"her
Hmmm -- so you're saying the Firehouse sandwiches aren't the only things which are "fully loaded"?!
Here are other things to chew on, from the weekend news:
+ Fort Benning's Third Brigade engaged in training drills in California. WRBL's Chris Sweigart wrote on his "HammerSlogger" blog that reporters from France are watching the training as well. So where do they post notes for the Iraqi insurgents to study?
+ Local JROTC units held a combined ball at the Trade Center. They should be thankful no khaki green buses were parked outside, to take them to work at Fort Benning.
+ The Columbus NAACP spent a second day renovating the Spencer House on Veterans Parkway downtown. President Bill Madison said the historic home should be turned into a museum about local African-American education. If it gets as few visitors as the Ma Rainey Museum has a block away, they might be able to share a single staff.
+ The Columbus Cottonmouths pounded Pee Dee 6-3 on "NASCAR Night," featuring a guest appearance at the Civic Center by Richard Petty. I assume any players who wound up in fights were given Goody's headache powders in the penalty box.
+ Instant Message to One Way Deliverance Ministry on Martin Luther King Boulevard: About your sign outside that says "JESUS IS LO" - uhhhh, does that mean God the Father is higher?
BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $1.98 a gallon at Dolly Madison on Victory Drive.... mushroom swiss burgers for 99 cents at Checkers on Buena Vista Drive.... and no N.F.L. games on TV, so football widows can reclaim their husbands....
COMING MONDAY: Not just Monday.... it's a Hurtsboro Monday!....
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