26 DEC 07: THE NEVER-ENDING CHAT

A one-day sale? That's nothing unusual at this time of year. But a one-day sale on 25 December? Now that's downright different. And in Columbus, it might even bring protests - from people complaining about holding a sale on Christmas, after spending hundreds of dollars on gifts leading up to it.

My neighbors turned their radios up loud Tuesday morning, or I never would have known about this sale. Chatman Communications on North Lumpkin Road put cell phones on sale, from 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 noon -- a last way out for people who didn't buy a gift for someone, and felt convicted by all the mushy songs up and down the dial.

There had to be more to this three-hour sale, so we took a drive down Victory Drive to find out. Sure enough, Chatman Communications was the only business open in a little strip mall. The business with its "open" light on really wasn't. Is that someone's cheap alternative to an alarm system?

"Are you here to buy a phone?" John Chatman asked from behind the counter as I walked inside around 11:30.

"I'm just here to ask some questions" - and I deferred to the two customers Chatman was helping. It appeared to be a father and teenage daughter. The cell phone was for the daughter, of course - because isn't punching text messages on a Blackberry with your thumbs a more manly thing to do?

The man didn't really care what color the woman's phone would be. "As long as you can dial the number and can hear it ring and talk to somebody at the other end, that's all that matters to me." I should have asked for that man's phone number, and offered to sell him my 13-year-old car.

That family turned out to be John Chatman's fourth sale of the morning. In fact, he told me he's been open on Xmas for eight years. This year was the first time he's advertised it on radio - and considering he advertised on WKZJ-FM, he probably was stunned to see a white guy like me walk in.

"I don't have any kids," John Chatman told me. So on Xmas he opens his North Lumpkin Road store (he has two others around the area), because he's doing what he enjoys. Wow - Warren Buffet enjoys making millions, but I think even he takes 25 December off.

John Chatman says his customers on 25 December are a mix of very last-minute shoppers, and people who "received Christmas money, and they want to spend it." Well, the stores today ARE likely to be a lot more crowded....

John Chatman keeps his store open on New Year's Day, Easter and Thanksgiving as well. He told me he's only been closed a couple of days in eight years, when he went out of town for a conference. With all the phones he sells, he couldn't arrange a teleconference?!

Another customer came in as I, uh, chatted with John Chatman. Someone's phone had been inactive for three months, and she wanted to know how much it would cost to restart it. Isn't it strange -- you have to pay extra to restart a phone, but magazines usually will take you back at a discount.

John Chatman is a Columbus South business owner, and he's optimistic about the future there. He says the next couple of years will bring big changes, especially once the new National Infantry Museum opens. If he has cell phones with designs looking like combat medals, he should do very well....

In fact, John Chatman told me Columbus South Inc. is in negotiations for Victory Drive to finally have a Waffle House. It would be located on the spot where Burger King stood, before it built a new restaurant down the street. And it probably will have one of the tallest signs in town, so drivers along Interstate 185 and U.S. 280 can find it.

So what do you think of John Chatman? Is he a lonely business owner with nothing better to do? Or is he on the front edge of a trend -- and soon stores across Columbus will stay open 25 December, not merely the convenience stores and 24-hour pharmacies? You can't start shopping for Super Bowl parties too early, you know....

Here's what else we noticed on Tuesday, while you may have been preoccupied:

+ A nice strong afternoon rain fell on Columbus. A bird outside my window perched itself on a telephone wire, and didn't even move for a while -- which apparently shows the drought has even affected them. Or can you fill outdoor bird baths with a cup of water, without breaking the rules?

+ CBS Sports showed a made-for-TV, it's-this-or-show-soap-operas golf tournament called the "Chick-fil-A Bowl Alma Mater" at Lake Oconee. Auburn Coach Tommy Tuberville played in it, and made a long putt on one hole - while wishing Brandon Cox could complete a couple of passes that long against Clemson next week.

(Tommy Tuberville revealed during the golf telecast he once ran a restaurant in Tennessee called "Tubby's Catfish." Let's all be thankful no one's put this label on the Auburn swimming teams.)

+ Instant Message to everyone who e-mailed us holiday greetings: Thank you - and we're planning something special for you in January, when this blog marks its fifth anniversary. Please let us know quickly how many of your e-mail addresses you want Cascade Hills Church to investigate.

2007 IN REVIEW, CONTINUED: August featured a big announcement from Columbus State University. President Frank Brown plans to retire next June. At least C.S.U. sportscaster Scott Miller hasn't told fans to sit on a "lucky spot" until a successor is named.

A local newspaper made a startling admission in August. The publisher of The Courier revealed no high school student entered his contest for college scholarships. Maybe next year, he'll learn from this - and open it up to middle-agers who can't afford a better degree.

The Columbus NAACP accused the Fire Department in August of not providing proper training to African-American EMT employees. Never mind that - have those employees received any training in filling out paperwork properly?

Columbus Police made hundreds of arrests during August, as a crackdown called "Operation Safe Streets" began. Many of those suspects are still waiting for Mayor Jim Wetherington to follow his example with Zachary Allen, and give them a Christmas pardon.

Former Columbus Mayor Bob Poydasheff needed replacement surgery in August, after tripping and breaking his hip. He seems to be fully recovered now, so we can all shout, "Hip! Hooray!"

Smiths Station was talking in August about plans to give the mayor a 150-percent raise after the next election. You'll notice no one on Columbus Council is talking that way right now - not even the City Manager.

A recall drive developed in August to kick the mayor of Talbotton out of office. Events of recent weeks show the voters should have left this job to the county sheriff....

Harris County Sheriff Mike Jolley was named President of the Georgia Association of Sheriffs during August. That must have scared some criminals away - because I haven't heard anyone complain about holiday lights being stolen from Callaway Gardens.

Large signs went up across Columbus in August, marking public housing complexes and city buildings. I'm surprised none of those signs have been tagged with spray paint yet - but many young people may have been waiting to receive that as a holiday gift.

Continental Carbon went on an advertising blitz in August, with employees explaining why the company is so good for the Columbus area. Maybe the staff should change its mission a bit - and develop carbon black that seeds passing clouds, so we have rain.

The price of gasoline actually dropped in Columbus during August, to $2.42 a gallon. But it didn't keep dropping during the fall, and now is above $2.80 - so all of you who drove oversized RV's to college football games ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Do you recall the pre-season college football polls from August - which had Hawaii ranked, but not Alabama? The Associated Press writers now look downright brilliant. And Coach Nick Saban looks smart, for not following his predecessors and scheduling a road trip to Honolulu.

Michael Vick pleaded guilty to federal dogfighting charges in August. Weeks later, the Atlanta Falcons' season again - and fittingly went TO the dogs.

Presidential candidate John Edwards visited Georgia Southwestern State University at the end of August. So did that really help him? I'm not sure anyone's even bothered to take a Presidential poll in Georgia - because Iowa and New Hampshire may settle everything.

August ended with voters rejecting school sales tax questions across East Alabama. The outlook for 2008 doesn't look promising - especially since none of the schools won a state football title, to bring everyone together for a lecture from the principal.

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 1881 (+ 88, 4.9%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-07 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.