11 DEC 07: HUSTLE TO FLOW

The Columbus City Manager responded Monday to the "REVELATION" shouted by Sunday's Ledger-Enquirer. Bible-reading residents must be baffled by this -- because usually Isaiah comes before Revelation.

Isaiah Hugley told WLTZ he's making changes, in the wake of news that the son of Columbus Councilor Gary Allen was never prosecuted for a positive cocaine test. The City Manager's main change is in.... a flow chart?! That's what he seemed to say. Better to draw new city lines, than have the Council point you toward an unemployment line.

The City Manager said from now on, any positive drug test for a city employee will be sent immediately to the Police Chief's office. At least the test will be sent there. The employee might be sent to the city Human Relations office, to pick up a final paycheck.

If you have yet to receive this "revelation," Zachary Allen tested positive for cocaine after a November 2006 crash. He was driving a Columbus emergency vehicle on a call, carrying what the newspaper calls "decontamination equipment." Apparently you don't have to apply it to yourself first.

The three-vehicle wreck led to Zachary Allen's positive cocaine test - and he resigned from Columbus Fire/EMS the next day. But somehow, an internal investigator wrote down the drug test as negative. Well, it WAS a negative moment for the entire department....

City Manager Isaiah Hugley assured reporters Monday there was NO cover-up of the Zachary Allen case, once it reached his office. Of course, that raises a question. How long did it take for the case to reach his office? Did it take 13 months, and a newspaper dropped in his driveway?

There's also the unanswered question of whether Zachary Allen ever will be prosecuted for the positive cocaine test. Is this another one case that District Attorney Gray Conger has kept on a "dead docket," like the son of the assistant police chief? [12 Jul] It's almost like as many cases are in his pocket, as on the docket....

A woman injured in Zachary Allen's fateful crash is suing the city of Columbus. The lawyers reportedly are proposing a pre-trial settlement of two million dollars. Suing Allen wouldn't do much good - because Allen now is charged with rape, and his attorney already is getting all his money.

Zachary Allen's attorney said Monday last fall's "cocaine crash" and this past September's rape charge are NOT connected. Really? Let's wait and see what sort of evidence is presented in the rape case. Prosecutors might argue there's a "base line" connecting them.

And as all this news swirls, Columbus Councilor Gary Allen remains silent about his son. Zachary Allen is an adult, so there might not be much his dad can do. But keep one thing in mind - a wild-driving son didn't stop Al Gore from claiming the Nobel Peace Prize Monday.

E-MAIL UPDATE: This message comes in the wake of The Drive....

Dell McGee is a stand up guy..If you noticed in the Ledger last wk he gave credit to his team's success partly to the kids who transfered to Carver...I didn't see Charlie Flowers' team from Albany in the dome,did you?

I guess by asking for coaching help from Shaw makes his boys feel at home..

Oh, here we go again! I've also heard complaints that Carver's football coach stole players from Shaw, as well as Pacelli. But Carver High School may have a natural advantage for attracting bulky linemen - that seismometer in the building, which measures earthquakes.

Tickets went on sale Monday at Carver High School for Saturday's AAA final in Cairo. Carver has 3,000 seats to sell at the "Syrup Bowl" - and they'll be going to fans who want to celebrate Loachapoka's "Syrup-Soppin' Time" a couple of months late.

Now let's meander through other Monday headlines:

+ The first steel rods were set in place for the Kia assembly plant in West Point. WRBL reported the rods were shipped in from South Korea, over a six-week period. These plant managers must have been flown in from Atlanta -- because if they came through Birmingham, this shipment never would have happened.

+ In one of the most bizarre TV interviews of the year, a Smiths Station mother denied rumors she's hosting underage drinking parties. She explained a set of suggestive photos on Myspace shows how "looks can be deceiving." Hopefully she's putting that on the resumes of the teenagers she's hosted, as they apply for jobs.

(The mother actually said some pictures which appear to show teenagers with beer bottles are "that IBM Root Beer." I think the proper brand name is IBC - and slips like that aren't going to help her, if she's ever arrested.)

+ Former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was sentenced to 23 months in federal prison. He could be released in the summer of 2009 - which will make him the most rested and ready quarterback at any pro football training camp.

(You realize that Vick already has a way to get around the stigma of his dogfighting conviction, once he's allowed to play pro football again. He'll show up at training camp under the name Ron Mexico.)

+ The Atlanta Falcons played hours after the sentencing, and were overwhelmed by New Orleans 34-14. A few Falcons players wrote "Mike Vick" on the shirts under their uniforms. But sad to say, I've seen Washington play better with all those "21" stickers on their helmets.

(Saints tight end Eric Johnson dropped a touchdown pass in the first half - and amazingly, both the Falcons and Saints radio announcers brought up a similar drop by Jackie Smith in a Super Bowl years ago. There's a TV special just waiting to happen: "Greatest Goats of the Super Bowl," presented by the American Dairy Council.)

+ Instant Message to New Orleans Saints announcer Hokie Gajan: Are you kidding me? You actually do a radio ad for a portable bathroom company - and you actually say: "You've gotta have a place for them to go p**" ?! Don't try telling me that last word refers to the punter....

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: The tabloid TV show TMZ showed tape Monday of Britney Spears shoplifting. She stole a cigarette lighter from a Chevron gas station. What a shame - to see former hotties try to jump-start their heat in this way.

(A member of the paparazzi apparently returned to the gas station, and paid for the cigarette lighter in Spears's behalf. If you think about it, this is understandable. If Spears gets arrested for shoplifting and is held without bond, a lot of photographers will be broke and out of work.)

+ A new CBS News/New York Times poll showed Mike Huckabee surging among Republican primary voters. He's gone from four percent in October to 21 percent now - which proves the G.O.P. is a lot like the college football season, with all the top contenders stumbling all over themselves.

+ Al Gore accepted the Nobel Peace Prize, and indicated he would NOT serve in any future U.S. government other than his own. He's not only against global warming, he sounds downright ice-cold toward Democrats.

+ Tropical Storm Olga formed near Puerto Rico in the Caribbean. A tropical storm in December is unusual - so maybe Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue and his staff are holding secret prayer meetings for rain again.

+ For the first time in 50 years, a cargo train left South Korea for North Korea as part of a regular schedule. If it comes back to Seoul loaded with nuclear weapons, President Bush may give South Korea's entire government gold medals.

+ Civil rights activist Al Sharpton demanded the U.S. Justice Department take control of the Chicago police force. Sharpton warned if that doesn't happen, he'll tour the world preaching against Chicago's bid to host the 2016 Olympics -- and running into countless people in other countries who will confuse him with Don King.

+ A city-block long display of pennies was set up at New York's Rockefeller Center. The "penny harvest field" was collected by the city's children, and has about 100 million coins. So when is the penny-ante poker tournament, to determine who wins them?

+ NBC News reported on a strange case of Medicare fraud in south Florida. A motorized wheelchair valued at $5,000 was reported for claims over and over again -- and crooks wound up taking five million dollars from it. They apparently moved on, after pulling their own sort of a "Scooter Store."

+ The rock band Led Zeppelin announced plans for a reunion concert. And some rock fans thought all the musicians had climbed that "Stairway to Heaven" by now....

+ A web site in Minneapolis is selling loft homes in the city's historic "Cream of Wheat Building." This is one place where you'd better be careful not to spill any water on the floor....

+ An 83-year-old man in Traverse City, Michigan received a scare, when a live 25-pound turkey crashed through his bedroom window. I never thought about this before - how turkeys and geese can become suicidal, from all the holiday stories depicting them getting eaten.

+ Denver Broncos punter Todd Sauerbrun was charged with assault. Now hold on here - a punter?! They're not supposed to go around assaulting people. They might kick criminals about 15 yards down an alley, but that's it.

SCHEDULED WEDNESDAY: The latest e-mail in the Cascade Hills controversy....

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