9 DEC 07: THE DRIVE

"We need a miracle." So said WOKS play-by-play announcer Cliff Rutledge, late in the third quarter of the Carver-Chamblee football game. It wasn't simply because Chamblee had scored to take a 24-6 lead. The broadcast line sounded at times like Rutledge was being waterboarded.

But if you still haven't heard, Cliff Rutledge received his miracle. Carver scored 20 points in the last six minutes to win the Georgia AAA semifinal - including the best two-minute drive I've probably ever seen in high school football. In fact, it might go down as the best two-minute drive in the Georgia Dome since Michael Vick was indicted.

With apologies to the National Football League, John Elway and the Denver Broncos, "The Drive" by Carver capped the biggest comeback in local sports history since the "Phenix City rises from the ashes" Little Leaguers in 1998. It might even inspire the Muscogee County School Board members who voted for the administration building, in their next election.

(Don't worry, Melissa Thomas - I'm resisting the urge to call it The Ultimate Drive. You already claimed that title, for your BMW cancer fundraiser.)

Chamblee charged from a 10-6 halftime to a 24-6 third-quarter lead by running an old-fashioned wishbone offense. That worked well and was quite trendy in college football during the 1970s and 1980s - but the college game has reached the point where I'm wondering if there's a national running back shortage.

Cliff Rutledge of WOKS admitted he was "starting to lose confidence" in Carver after the score reached 24-6. But then he started coaching "the good guys" (his words) from the press box. "Go for the ball, go for the ball," he said to the defense at one point. They didn't get the ball - so the audio inside the Georgia Dome must have been lousy, too.

But once Carver regained the ball in the fourth quarter, amazing things happened. First came a touchdown to cut the Chamblee lead to 24-12. Then the Tigers recovered an.... I'm sorry, I don't like calling it an "onside kick," because all legal kickoffs are onside. How about a "strawberry short-kick?"

Carver scored again after gaining the short-kick, and the score was 24-20. But then Chamblee pulled a surprise, gaining a first down on a fake punt. These high school actors need to stick to the one-act play tournament....

But the Carver defense stopped Chamblee again, to force a real punt. And with 2:04 to play, The Drive began. It was time for Tiger quarterback DeRon Furr to shine - and as the Humane Society would tell you, shiny Furr is always a sign of good health.

I didn't realize until the Friday telecast that DeRon Furr actually plays both offense and defense for Carver. Many players still do this in high school football. I suspect a few players at Pacelli actually are triple threats - and play in the band at halftime, too.

Which reminds me: what's with the grumbling that Carver High School "stole" DeRon Furr from Pacelli? I grew up in a city where the complaints went in the opposite direction - and Catholic schools allegedly offered money to take public school players. If money was the issue, shouldn't Furr be playing at Northside?

But I digress: DeRon Furr led Carver steadily downfield in The Drive. One key play was a fourth-down pass completion to receiver/buddy Jarmon Fortson. The officials let so much bumping go on Carver's passes that I almost thought I was watching weekend shoppers at Wal-Mart.

As the passes flew during The Drive, a GPB announcer declared on television: "Mr. Furr can fire the ol' tater." First of all, I thought a football was a pigskin. Second of all, that's a line I'd expect Cliff Rutledge to say on radio.

Carver reached the Chamblee 9 with less than 40 seconds left - and then DeRon Furr took matters into his own hands even more. He ran the ball twice, scoring the winning touchdown with no time outs and only ten seconds left. It looked for a moment like an offensive lineman pushed Furr across the goal line - but Furr's legs had The Drive as well.

After The Drive was over and the amazing miracle complete, some Carver players invoked the "D" word. That's destiny, friends - I didn't hear any of the teenagers cursing.

DeRon Furr was shown in post-game interviews with numbers painted under his eyes. I understood the "706" under the right eye as the Columbus area code. But the "6-34" under the left eye baffles me. Was that Carver's four-year record before he became quarterback?

How interesting is it that Carver will meet Cairo in next Saturday's AAA state finals? After the brawl on the field at Kinnett Stadium when Cairo beat Shaw, Carver can take vengeance for the entire town....

Cairo advanced to the AAA finals Saturday by knocking off North Hall 42-21. You have to give them credit for one of the most distinctive high school nicknames in the country - the Cairo Syrupmakers. This week, it makes me glad my pancake syrup is Log Cabin.

Now for some closing thoughts from the weekend when The Drive made Columbus sports history:

+ A WOKS announcer reminded me that some people call Chamblee "Cham-bodia." That phrase was coined by Atlanta radio announcers - white guys on talk radio stations, who did not seem to consider it a compliment.

+ Columbus's own D.J. Jones helped broadcast two weekend games on GPB. But he missed the second half of Carver-Chamblee, because he was in a truck preparing for other games. C'mon, D.J. - you're the man who used to tell WRBL viewers, "Keep your eye on the ball."

+ The class A finals will match Wilcox County against Emanuel County Institute. Will Wilcox County residents will refuse to sing, "O Come O Come Emanuel" in church today?

+ Instant Message to Auburn University quarterback Kodie Burns: Did you see what I saw? You'd better be impressive in spring drills - or come August, the Furr is going to fly....

E-MAIL UPDATE: This message actually reached us before we posted Friday's items....

Sir Richard:

I guess WRBL is truly "on our side" They followed their noses to"Hurt'sboro" and sniffed out the story of The Curbside Trash. It wasn't a mystery (the only mystery - the whereabouts of the "mare") but it did have a surprise ending - the garbage sorta got picked up. There's still a dumpster that has to be emptied by Monday - or the State of Alabama will step in to enforce its removal.

I have a couple of other items that might interest you - but I will hold them until they are fully hatched!!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

If WRBL really was on the Constable's side, shouldn't it have shown the stacks of trash during the Wednesday night news? It wasn't shown until Thursday night, after the garbage was collected - almost as if the tape was delivered to Columbus by that broken-down patrol car.

Now for other news of note from a wonderful December weekend:

+ The high temperature in Columbus was a splendid 75 degrees F. You readers up north can go ahead and throw your snowballs in frustration - they'll melt.

+ My latest Columbus Water Works bill came in the mail - and the insert shows a day-by-day breakdown of city water usage. For some reason, there's a spike in total usage every Tuesday. [True] How many pitchers of water does Columbus Council need for its meetings?

(The back of the insert suggests several ways to save water. One of them is: "Shorten your shower by one minute." If you only run cold water in the winter, not only will your showers be much shorter - but your natural gas bill probably will go down as well.)

+ A Peachtree Mall manager told the evening news there's closed-circuit TV installed both inside and outside the building. In his words: "Santa isn't the only one watching whether you're naughty or nice." Oh please - as if a fake guy in a red suit is fast enough to run outside the mall on his break?!

+ Fort Benning and NeighborWorks Columbus announced a new million-dollar program to help military families buy homes. So where is the effort to help homeless veterans get one? They'd be happy simply to have "Habitat for Humanity" provide the tools for cubicles under a bridge.

+ Columbus State University arranged a historic tour by bus to Tuskegee. WRBL reported this tour was free - which is amazing, because the NAACP would have charged at least ten dollars.

+ The "Car Guys" on WLTZ reported from the Great Georgia Air Show in Peachtree City. Now hold on here - the Car Guys are at an air show?! But then again, Port Columbus has staged land battles of the Civil War....

+ A new statue of Ray Charles was unveiled in his home town of Albany. The statue is lighted and revolves - but the local visitors' bureau made sure it did NOT include tape of the song, "Hit the Road Jack."

+ Paul Johnson was named the new head football coach at Georgia Tech. Johnson comes to Atlanta from Navy -- giving radio stations in this army town yet another reason not to air Tech games.

THE BLOG OF AMERICA: Talks to settle the Writers' Guild strike have collapsed, so there's still no contract after five weeks. My chances of getting discovered by Lorne Michaels of "Saturday Night Live" are improving every day....

+ Oprah Winfrey traveled to Iowa, to make a presidential campaign endorsement for Barack Obama. Obama should be thankful Winfrey stuck to her script. She could have promised if Obama was elected, everyone would get a car.

(Oprah Winfrey told a massive audience in Des Moines: "I'm not here to tell you how to think. I'm here to tell you TO think." This is the difference between TV and radio talk show hosts. Rush Limbaugh once said he was telling his audience how to think - and that's why very few opponents call his show.)

+ Hillary Rodham Clinton made a campaign appearance in South Carolina with her daughter and her mother. Or as some other Democratic candidates called it under their breaths: "The Women's Murder Club."

+ Prosecutors in Aruba hinted they might abandon the Natalee Holloway investigation in January. This would clear the way for an important phone call to Miami in February - as Joran van der Sloot seeks O.J. Simpson's help in writing a tell-all book.

+ Greenpeace organized marches in dozens of cities around the world, against global warming. Some children put on costumes to look like the sun - and hopefully they recycled ones used in TV weather reports about 50 years ago.

+ A real estate firm organized a contest, and declared a home in Sarasota, Florida is the ugliest house in the country. You know a home is ugly when not even cockroaches want to live there....

+ MSNBC aired new commercials promoting "Countdown" with Keith Olbermann - only the ads show an endorsement from the "San Franciso Chronicle." [True!] Has Olbermann done one of those "special comments" blaming President Bush for the poor quality of U.S. education?

+ Barry Bonds pleaded NOT guilty to perjury charges, stemming from a steroid investigation. This trial could change years of U.S. jurisprudence. Prosecutors can pull out a pair of Bonds's old shoes before he gained two sizes in his home run spurt - then tell the jury: "If it doesn't fit, you must convict."

+ Florida quarterback Tim Tebow won college football's Heisman Trophy. He ran and threw for so many touchdowns this season that Gator fans have changed the name of their TV recording system from TiVo to.... well, you know....

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