9 OCT 07: OUT BEHIND THE BARN

The co-manager of the Columbus Hooters insisted Monday his restaurant offers nothing but "good clean fun." Of course it does - as long as wives keep their husbands' eyes pointed toward games on TV, instead of the servers.

Hooters co-manager Corey Wyble had to defend his business because of another incident outside over the weekend. WRBL reported two women behind the restaurant offered themselves as prostitutes to customers. And you know there's not much difference between Hooters and hookers....

The two women reportedly handed out business cards to soldiers who visited Hooters on Saturday night. Now hold on here - prostitutes with business cards?! Apparently it's not enough to "dress for success" anymore.

A Fort Benning soldier apparently showed the "business card" to his wife, and that led to a complaint to Hooters. At least the soldier was honest enough to show off the card - but the wife probably still will be extra-careful with his shirt collars come laundry day.

Corey Wyble admitted Hooters aims its business toward a "male clientele." Hmmm - that explains why the billboards don't show a variety of chicken wings....

But the co-manager added Hooters will NOT allow lewd conduct of any kind on its property. That's being saved, of course, for the server swimsuit contest in Las Vegas or Jamaica.

After thinking this over, I think I know why Corey Wyble was so quick to defend Hooters on TV. He doesn't want his restaurant added to the notorious Fort Benning "banned list." Several places put on that list in recent years quickly went out of business - and I've noticed people don't go fishing along the Phenix City Riverwalk like they once did.

Would Fort Benning dare to put a big-name restaurant like Hooters on its off-limits list? Well, keep the Richard Davis murder case in mind. Davis's last evening of life began with a dinner at Hooters, involving four Fort Benning soldiers. Davis's family never blamed the restaurant for what happened - and it's hard to prove someone spiked the beer.

Then there was Father's Day at Hooters, when police were called because of a motorcycle club's antics [19 Jun]. But all of that fuss seemed to happen outside the restaurant as well. The club didn't kick anyone out of a table - it merely kept some people from walking inside.

You never know who you'll find around the back door of a restaurant. Only days before I moved to Columbus, I discovered a beggar waiting at a McDonald's drive-thru lane in Atlanta. He didn't appreciate the fact that I mentioned him on the speaker, as I ordered fries for him.

My late father sometimes walked into his favorite Kansas City diners through the back door. In my youth, I thought he knew every manager and waitress in town. Nowadays, it might be his way of avoiding TMZ camera crews.

Let's be up-front now, with other notes from a quiet holiday....

+ The city of Columbus held its first-ever Columbus Day celebration on Bay Avenue. Mayor Jim Wetherington said after 50 years in the city, it was about time Columbus marked the holiday. How quickly people forget the Uptown Jam concerts.

+ A Columbus High School government class reportedly set up Columbus Day protests on the school grounds - both for and against the holiday. For some reason, they don't seem to do this when it comes to the baseball team.

+ The FBI announced the arrest of a male suspect, in the weekend "bank robber in drag" case on Milgen Road. Come to think of it, those orange jail jumpsuits probably work for both genders.

+ WRBL reported a Georgia soldier stole a 200-pound pumpkin. What was this guy thinking?! You only hide money inside pumpkins after you carve them....

+ Reports from Seattle indicated former Brookstone High School running back Mack Strong will retire from pro football. Strong injured his neck in Sunday's loss to Pittsburgh. And after spending years in cloudy Seattle, no one could accuse his neck of being red.

+ Instant Message to the Columbus High School guys who painted themselves blue for a girls' softball playoff game: Why? Are you dating some of the softball players? Trying to date them? Or are you hoping Blue Man Group comes back to the Civic Center, so you can audition?

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