28 OCT 07: PARTY LIKE A CAR STAR

The top stars of NASCAR take to the track today at Atlanta Motor Speedway, for the Pep Boys Auto 500. The Nextel Cup season began President's Day weekend, and still has four races to go - which makes this chase almost as long as the campaign for President.

Some of us can remember when NASCAR races in Atlanta were blacked out on Columbus television. Spring races even were blacked out in Atlanta by the speedway owners, because they couldn't sell all the tickets. They simply didn't make the race interesting enough, by having the cars race around Interstate 285.

I've been to a few NASCAR races at Atlanta Motor Speedway, but not to watch them. I've worked behind the scenes - but no, not helping with the broadcasts. Would you believe I had to wear something resembling a tuxedo? And I never even was allowed to get close to the winner's trophy....

I kept notes on my work at Atlanta Motor Speedway during the mid-1990's, and tried to sell them to magazines. It was the era before blogging - and just before TV Guide decided to put pictures of NASCAR drivers on their cover, to boost sales....

4:30 a.m.: My alarm clock goes off. On most Sundays it wouldn't even be set, and I'd be sleeping in. But I'm up early for a November race then called the Napa 500. It's a work day, raising money for the church I attend - and the long lines of traffic stretching toward Hampton won't begin for about four hours.

5:30 a.m.: I head for my car, thankful the forecast of possible snow showers did not come true. I've already eaten two heavy, sour cream doughnuts for breakfast. A third will be chomped on the way to Atlanta Motor Speedway. There's a strategy behind this: to fill my stomach so much that I won't be tempted to eat any of the food I'll serve later in the morning.

There will be plenty of food to serve, since the church fundraiser involves serving in "hospitality tents" outside the east turn of the track. Dozens of corporations and sponsors purchase space in the tent village to wine and dine clients, invited guests and.... oops, check that. "Beer and dine," since this is NASCAR.

The hospitality tents are a side of NASCAR most people never hear about, unless you happen to win entry through a contest. But they reflect the racing circuit's "good ol' boy" image in a way -- with perks coming to those who know the right people.

The drive to Hampton takes about 40 minutes from my home - and on the way, I listen to an all-news radio station from New York. That way, I can carry on enlightened conversations with the tent visitors. The sportscast mentions hockey, basketball, football and boxing. Nothing about NASCAR - even though the Waldorf Astoria hosts that big year-end banquet.

6:00 a.m.: One hour before sunrise and even before I arrive, "tent captains" assemble in the east turn for a meeting. They're in charge of dining arrangements, and make the decisions for workers like me. One woman is a diabetic who secretly breaks the rules - by taking sips of smuggled-in fruit juice.

The captain of my tent will be Mark - a man with a somewhat stereotypical NASCAR look. He's tall, bearded, and stocky. He even smokes cigarettes, in the era when the circuit is still called Winston Cup. But compared with other fans, he's not THAT huge around the waist.

6:10 a.m.: I reach the speedway complex, which covers a massive 870 acres. Our group was advised to park on the grass, so I choose a spot in the northeast corner of the grounds. There's a paved parking lot between my car and the track - but of course, you need a reservation for those spots.

6:28 a.m.: After taking a long walk around the track and fearing I'll be late for check-in time, I spot fellow church members near a group of freight trailers. We come forward in small groups to sign in at a folding table. Then comes the first bad sign of the day - as I'm assigned to the Camel tent.

"No souvenirs for me," I mumble as we walk toward the tent village. Hospitality workers often receive "tips" from tent sponsors, ranging from insignia-covered caps to cash. But I don't smoke, and I don't want to promote cigarettes at all. My mother smoked for years and died before age 60 - and come to think of it, she smoked RJR's Salems.

But of course, I don't dare bring up my mom at this hospitality tent. I don't even bring up my denomination's long-term policy, which barred smokers from attending. We're saving the smoke for the Biblical "lake of fire," thank you....

In semi-darkness, my group begins setting up the Camel tent. Folding chairs and tables already are in place, along with giant beverage coolers. We have to add everything else by breakfast time at 8:00, to match a drawing of the food display which is left for us. But no, there are no toy stock cars to set a proper mood.

One of my first assignments is an important one: icing down the beer. A morning temperature in the high thirties makes this an even chillier job than usual - and almost a bit redundant.

But of course, beer is as critical a fuel for NASCAR fans as the modified gasoline in the race cars they watch. Speedway managers realize this, and allow fans to bring in coolers - but only big enough to hold six regular-sized cans. Probably not cans of soda, for most people....

7:00 a.m.: As the sun rises and the temperature slowly warms, Camel staff members arrive at the tent. They bring their own purple decorations, such as pennants and balloons. The track-supplied black ashtrays are replaced with Camel logo models. But cigarette packs and cartons are NOT displayed. NASCAR is supposed to be family-friendly, after all.

The Camel people never ask if I smoke, or what I think of smokers. But they spot a slight problem with Mark -- because his white sport shirt pocket shows a pack of Marlboros. Within minutes, Mark covers this pack with a one-dollar bill.

8:00 a.m.: The East Turn hospitality village officially opens for business. Despite the cold, a large crowd is waiting. Unarmed security personnel check carefully for the proper identification to enter the area - as no unauthorized people can claim free food.

The crowd entering the hospitality village seems to be 99-percent white. The only minority group members seem to work either for the speedway, or on a serving crew such as mine. I still wonder after all these days why Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson hasn't gone after NASCAR, or marched around the pits in protest.

Some fans are allowed to take pit tours, which are organized by race sponsors. Other visitors choose to stay in the tent to eat, relax and converse. Our tent table is arranged with breakfast pastries, coffee, juice, soda and beer. Amazingly, even on this cold morning the coffee gets more attention than the beer.

People travel to Atlanta Motor Speedway from all sorts of places for NASCAR. One man told me he drove all night from Jacksonville for a spring race. On this November day, a couple is visiting from Indiana while another is heading toward Texas. And they're not all talking about race cars; many are thrilled when I tell them who won the heavyweight boxing match the night before.

8:20 a.m.: A giant rooster walks by our tent. Terry LaBonte was driving the Kellogg's Corn Flakes Chevrolet, complete with a cartoon rooster on the hood. I joke the rooster must be his relief driver -- but I'm never told if the Kellogg's tent next to ours is serving cereal.

9:20 a.m.: It's time to light the Sterno for lunch. A book of matches provided for our tent became too moist to use, due to overnight condensation. But this IS the Camel tent -- so someone has a cigarette lighter handy.

We actually start the fires too early - 70 minutes before meal time instead of 60. That's because a celebrity is coming. No, not Joe Camel....

9:30 a.m.: Jimmy Spencer arrives at the tent, which by now is filled with dozens of people. Spencer drives the "Smokin' Joe's Racing" car, featuring the familiar Camel emblem. He even wears a leather jacket with the team logo to prove it.

"I didn't qualify worth a flip," Spencer admits about today's Napa 500. In fact, he's starting 41^st - third from the back. Yet he gives the optimistic speech that many also-ran drivers give. There's always next week - except Atlanta is the final race of the season, so there's next year.

"Does everybody here smoke Camels?" Spencer asks. I focus on the crowd, and say nothing. Tent Captain Mark's eyes grow large, but his mouth stays shut - and the dollar bill stays put around his Marlboros.

Spencer then takes questions from fans - and even takes a side trip into politics. "I'm sure glad the Republicans kept Congress, so we can stop the anti-smoking bunch," he says before practically an amen corner. But wasn't it a Republican Georgia Governor who signed that 2005 smoking law?

"I've never tried to make anybody smoke, or get young people to start smoking," Spencer continues. "We're just trying to get smokers to switch brands." I'm waiting for research into how many NASCAR fans have quit smoking, after seeing Jeff Gordon's Nicorette car.

10:00 a.m.: I begin several trips back and forth to the food trailer building area, to fetch lunch. As I walk behind our row of tents, I pass a woman putting on a pink costume. I take a guess, and ask if she's the Eveready Energizer bunny. Wrong. She's the Pink Panther, promoting Owens-Corning Fiberglass.

10:30 a.m.: Dinner is served - already. Two hours before race time, when stay-at-homers might be sitting down to Sunday brunch, the tent crowd feasts on grilled chicken and barbecued pork. Smoked barbecue, I'm assuming for a Camel tent....

As I stand and serve (no sitting around on the job is allowed), I'm reminded of how loyal some NASCAR fans can be. A woman sits to my right wearing Dale Earnhardt's name and number three - on her white casual shoes. She wrote them on, with a black marker pen.

More boastful "motor heads" can buy hats, T-shirts or jackets at their choice of dozens of sponsor vendor trailers, parked on the grounds around the track. It's an atmosphere a lot like old-time shopping center parking lot carnivals. Only the prices are much higher - and the cars go around and around, instead of a Ferris wheel.

12:00 noon: Most visitors have left our tent to find their seats. As our tent crew begins cleaning up and returning uneaten food, a voice in the distance sings "Georgia on my Mind" on the public address system - and I wonder why the state song is never sung at Atlanta baseball and football games.

12:20 p.m.: During another of my countless walks back and forth behind the tents, I see two guys lift a case of beer over a fence separating the East Turn village from the rest of the Atlanta Motor Speedway grounds. I never stop to ask if they followed track policy, by signing out for it.

12:45 p.m.: As the green flag falls nearby, Tent Captain Mark says we're free to check out. Mark and his petite wife came prepared to watch the race in the stands, because he bought a padded headphone radio. This is one of those days when the padding blocks out not only noisy cars, but cool breezes.

Our crew's tip for serving breakfast and lunch is a bag of assorted "Smokin Joe's" goodies. There's everything from a disposable camera to an ashtray to a purple tin box filled with small matchboxes. The tin box remains an unused souvenir today - and I think the other stuff went at a moving sale.

1:00 p.m.: The tent workers assemble at the holding area. With practically every guest out of the village and inside the race track, it's at last our turn to eat. All sorts of chicken and breakfast muffins are left to enjoy - but one woman who signed in with me isn't stopping with one plate of food. She takes four full plates. Finally sitting down to dine, I ask: "Which shelter are you taking those to?"

The woman answers me with her home address. Four full plates of food are heading for a house with a husband, wife and no children. Our church congregation needs a sermon on greed - soon.

A member of the catering staff who unloaded a food trailer for us is not pleased by the sight. She pulls me over and says, "First of all, there are some catering workers who haven't eaten yet! And do you know where all this leftover food is going?" I'd guessed it was shipped back to the contracted catering company in Charlotte - but no. "It's going to Atlanta's Table." A food bank?! They DO care about ordinary folks.

It happens that I'm holding a plate of food that's actually a second helping, to eat at home the next day. But I don't mention that, agreeing with the staff member that four plates are too many. Little did I know way back then that I was perfecting skills for winning at poker....

We settle on a word to describe the virtue missing from the woman with four plates of food. It's moderation - as drivers circle around a race track nearby at more than 160 miles per hour.

1:20 p.m.: I officially sign out at the folding table where I signed in. A quick check of the workers' notebook shows the local Humane Society also had volunteers working at the tents. I wonder if they felt the same way about the pre-race balloon release as I did about working in a cigarette tent.

2:15 p.m.: After a little browsing at the vendor trailers (not buying - tight budget), I walk to my car and head home. I could have found a seat inside the track to watch the race, but sometimes post-race traffic jams last until well after dark. Maybe the hospitality tents should serve all-day suckers, too.

As I approach my car, I meet two Hispanic men picking up beer cans scattered throughout the grounds. The track doesn't have any noticeable recycling bins. And if all the parked vehicles were removed, a NASCAR race would be a homeless person's field of dreams.

"¿Muchas cervezas en muchas cabezas, si?" I ask the men in Spanish. They chuckle in agreement - there are many beers in many heads. Yes sir, NASCAR is all about moderation....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now back to the present, and a puzzled TV viewer....

Richard,

What's the deal with reporters doing the Weather on WRBL? I guess any recent college grad can do just as good of a job as a "Chief Meteorologist". All that certification for nothing, huh? Where's the On Your Side angle to that?

AR

That's a good question, AR. Chief Meteorologist Bob Jeswald was on duty Saturday night - but I was surprised to find him wearing a tie. Apparently his "Casual Friday" look isn't allowed on the weekends.

Weekend meteorologist Elissia Wilson has been notably absent in recent weeks. If WRBL has given a reason why, I haven't heard it. But her picture still is on the station's web site - so apparently WLTZ hasn't stolen her away yet.

The absence of Elissia Wilson has forced some WRBL reporters into weather duty. David Spunt filled in one morning last week. Jennifer Serda also has done the job at times - and I don't mind that at all. She's cute enough to make me get a fake driver's license, with the age going in the other direction.

Let's take one more e-mail, stemming from last Wednesday's topic:

When the Muscogee County chopper flies over neighboring counties doing search work will those counties help support the cost ? I have not seen this question answered on any of the TV interviews..

As I understand it, this is not really a "Muscogee County chopper." It officially belongs to the Metro Narcotics Task Force, which is a combination effort of several area law enforcement agencies. Maybe the funding is based on whoever makes the biggest drug bust of the month.

We'll save one other message for Monday, and conclude now with a look at weekend news headlines:

+ The Ledger-Enquirer devoted several pages of detailed coverage to Synovus's decision to spin off TSYS as a separate company. But one vital question still isn't settled in my mind. Will TSYS be allowed to have its own glowing sign above the Riverwalk, like Synovus does?

+ Rep. Lynn Westmoreland went to West Point Lake, to check on the lack of water. He told WRBL his message for the Army Corps of Engineers was simple: "Mother Nature ain't the answer." We're waiting to see Westmoreland's plan to truck in millions of gallons of water from Texas.

+ Muscogee County school bus drivers used a Friday off day from classes for training sessions. There are right and wrong ways to yell at grade schoolers to calm down, you know....

+ Carver won a key high school football over LaGrange 19-10. Carver is still unbeaten, while LaGrange suddenly has lost two in a row. The day this happens is the day Kansas has a better football record than Auburn and Georgia, and that could never.... oh wait.... ha ha....

+ Instant Message to Columbus Police: With all due respect - is the murder suspect you're after right now the first one you've ever called a "Goober?"

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