24 OCT 07: COP-TER ONE

The Columbus police chief announced a big step forward in law enforcement Tuesday. And local conspiracy theorists also took a big step forward - because there's now strong evidence that a mysterious black helicopter may have flown over their neighborhoods.

A new black (except for white on the bottom) helicopter was shown off by the Metro Narcotics Task Force. It was obtained from Fort Rucker, where I suppose the Army could have used it for narcotics work as well. Did any Fort Rucker units ever serve near opium fields in Afghanistan?

The new helicopter is based at Columbus Metropolitan Airport, and already has been used for a couple of law enforcement projects. Yet it was officially introduced to reporters only Tuesday - as if the Metro Narcotics Task Force needed not only one test drive, but two.

The new helicopter will be available for law enforcement in Harris, Muscogee and Russell Counties. But due to budget restrictions, Police Chief Ricky Boren says it will only be used in certain specific situations. Aw c'mon - think of all the restaurants which would advertise, with banners hanging from the back.

(In fact, the helicopter was purchased in part with money from drug seizures. So the more pot police find, the bigger the pot for aviation fuel....)

Chief Ricky Boren says the new helicopter will be used for things such as homeland security threats, finding bank robbers and tracking down lost people with Alzheimer's Disease. He said nothing about using it in high-speed chases - and that's a shame, because I want to see a video camera hooked up to it to record wild speeding criminals on Macon Road.

Russell County Sheriff Tommy Boswell is looking forward to the new helicopter. He notes his county has 640 square miles, and much of it is "wilderness." Those homebuilders simply aren't building new houses for incoming Fort Benning soldiers fast enough....

Up to now, local law enforcement agencies had to borrow helicopters from the Army or state agencies for crackdowns. Those state choppers now will be freed for other things - such as tracking down speeding drugged drivers in Talbot County.

The last time a helicopter received this much fanfare in Columbus, it was thanks to a television station. WRBL unveiled "Chopper 3" around the turn of the millennium, to cover news around the area. Brian Sharpe even rode in it on live TV one morning -- but after a few months, it mysteriously disappeared. Has the CIA asked the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay about that?

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our mention of Trees Columbus on Tuesday apparently inspired this thought....

Remember when the beautiful Bradford Pear trees were cut down near the gov't center because a house was being moved?...Now,Columbus wants to plant more trees because we don't have enough..Sort of talking out of both sides of the mouth...

Actually, I don't remember the tree-cutting for a house. But the idea of cutting trees and planting new ones isn't that unusual. Maybe the city wants to make money from timber farming.

Now let's chop down the stack of news, notes and other discoveries we made Tuesday:

+ Columbus Councilor Skip Henderson called for tougher city rules, to enforce water restrictions. Right now, Columbus Water Works can do nothing except shut off the service of repeat offenders. If you see your neighbor unloading cases of bottled water in the driveway, that will be a clue.

+ The director of Chattahoochee RiverWorks warned if the drought conditions continue, people might be asked to flush their toilets only once a day. So where are the real pioneers at a time like this - you know, the ones selling outhouses?

+ WRBL interviewed an Eastwood Christian School employee, who claims he can produce oil from the algae in swimming pools. This talk about "going green" is getting a bit out of control....

+ Richard Hyatt's blog revealed the veteran newspaper reporter plans to retire from the Ledger-Enquirer in January. But uh-oh - it also says he plans to launch a "news/opinion web site" in February. I might have to go out and buy another joke book...

+ Wire service reports indicated Garrison Keillor has been harassed by a female stalker, ever since "Prairie Home Companion" was broadcast at the RiverCenter in April. This finally explains why Keillor has "Guy Noir, Private Eye" on his show so often.

(There are signs Prairie Home Companion could return to the RiverCenter next spring. The Opelika Performing Arts Center already is promoting "An Evening with Garrison Keillor" in April. But if a stalker keeps hounding him, he might just declare Lake Harding the new Lake Wobegon and broadcast from Beulah.)

+ GPB Radio thanked more than 1,700 people who pledged money over the last two weeks - but admitted its fall fund-raising goal was NOT met. So why don't they follow the example of the local United Way? Keep on asking for money until the spring pledge drive starts.

+ Georgia Insurance Commissioner John Oxendine endorsed Rudolph Giuliani for President. If you think about it, this is only logical. Giuliani is on his third marriage - so imagine how much life insurance he's bought.

+ Civil rights leader Al Sharpton appeared in Atlanta, and called for a one-day nationwide economic boycott. He says you should buy nothing on Friday, November 2. Why not move this up a couple of days - and have everyone knock on doors Halloween night, exchanging food with each other?

+ The Associated Press reported five Alabama football players were kept out of last weekend's win over Tennessee because they were given free college textbooks. So?! How many of them also needed free tutoring to read them?

+ Instant Message to Chester's Bar-B-Q downtown: Congratulations on your "Hoodie Award" from Steve Harvey! But calm down here - your sign says you have the best barbecue "in the world"?! I don't think people listen to Harvey's radio show in Mexico.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: The jokes for today officially have concluded, but you're welcome to read on for some other observations.)

BUT SERIOUSLY.... Our sympathies to the family of longtime TV and radio personality Robbie Watson. We learned only Tuesday that her father died in a car crash last Friday in Russell County. The funeral service occurs today at Morningside Baptist Church.

We went to the visitation for Bobby Watson Sr. Tuesday afternoon, and were surprised to find Superior Court Judge Bobby Peters there. He admitted he joined Watson for games of cards "about 30 years ago." Back then, any card game beyond spades might have been scandalous -- but it looks like all the players turned out fine.

"God's been good to us," Robbie Watson said at the visitation. She seemed to be holding up well - and may God continue to be good to the family, so a great family reunion can occur someday.

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