7 MAR 05: LOW-DOWN AND OUT

"STORE CLOSING" proclaimed the sign on Fourth Street across from the Columbus Civic Center. This puzzled me, because Kimball's restaurant at Third Avenue had looked shut down for months. When the only special on its marquee is for convenience store specials across the street, that's not a positive sign.

Surely, I said to myself, the store that's closing couldn't be the Spectrum at Fourth Street and Second Avenue. After all, it's one of the biggest lottery sales spots in Georgia. And contrary to those old political ads, I've never heard anyone behind the counter say with a smirk, "Thank you, Alabama."

I asked about the store closing sign at the Spectrum near the Oglethorpe Bridge the other day, and received a surprise. The business that was closing is Lo-Bucks, a tiny gas station across the street -- the one that kept showing up the convenience stores around it, with prices one or two cents lower.

The man at Spectrum told me as he understood it, Lo-Bucks was going out of business because the station cost too much to operate. That seemed hard to believe, because Lo-Bucks only took cash and hardly sold anything besides gasoline. At times, I wasn't even sure if that little kiosk in the middle even had a human being inside it.

Lo-Bucks officially shut down last week, after offering "customer appreciation coupons" for several weeks. I'm not sure what kind of coupons this station gave away, since I only noticed one of them in town. Maybe the Columbus Catfish are trying to fill Golden Park this year any way they can....

Perhaps I'm part of the reason why Lo-Bucks closed last week. I don't tend to use cash to pay for gasoline -- and as high as prices are nowadays, beggars would be standing around waiting for me to pull out my fat wallet.

Besides, I have several credit cards which offer rebates for free gasoline. A free or half-priced fill-up feels good for me right now. But I don't plan a trip to Saudi Arabia, because the government might come looking for me.

But anyway: the closing of Lo-Bucks doesn't leave many "lowest of the low" gas stations in Columbus. Thankfully, there's still the Dolly Madison bakery store with gas pumps on Victory Drive. Now if someone will figure out a way to make fuel out of Wonder Bread....

A weekend drive discovered a potential new player in the cut-rate gas race. Majik Market at Reese Road and Gentian Boulevard showed regular unleaded for $1.79 a gallon - but I'm not sure how current that price is. For one thing, one pump still had a sign urging me to elect Linda Pierce to the school board. [True!]

It was a bit surprising to check AAA numbers Sunday afternoon, and find the average Columbus gas price is $1.80 - which is LOWER than a month ago. Are there some hidden oil fields in Russell County, which area stations are keeping secret?

It's hard to say how long that trend will last, though. The Phillips station on Wynnton Road had regular unleaded Sunday afternoon at $1.91. But I suppose they can get away with a price that high - since wealthy AFLAC executives work right down the street.

Before you blame OPEC for the latest jump in gas prices, consider this. Energy Department statistics posted on a message board the other day show the leading source of U.S. oil imports isn't Saudi Arabia - it's Canada! So some of you who say you're not missing the National Hockey League should shut your mouths....

Now let's slow down to save mileage, and check other Sunday highlights:

+ College students from several northern states arrived in Columbus, to start a one-week spring break project for Habitat for Humanity. Habitat board members should be careful if they drop in on the work - because a Millard Fuller supporter might (ahem) overreach with a saw....

(A welcome party for the college students at Baker Middle School Sunday night included a "clean joke contest." If only The Loft had this on Thursday nights -- because then this blog might turn into a steady income.)

+ Columbus State won the Peach Belt Conference men's basketball tournament - and was rewarded by getting a rematch with Kennesaw State next weekend in the NCAA playoffs. It's only fitting that these rivals meet one last time. But can't we liven things up, with "Texas Death Match" rules or something?

+ Instant Message to the man who called to claim a Phenix City sawmill appeared on the verge of "burning down:" First of all, that thing the smoke came from is called a smokestack. Second of all, why didn't you call the fire department first?

COMING THIS WEEK: The new, surprise $110,000 question....

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