24 MAR 05: FREE SELL
The annual "Drug-Free You and Me" conference began Wednesday at the Columbus Trade Center. It's designed to turn sixth-graders away from being hooked on drugs. And based on the giant logos on the backs of students' T-shirts, it's also designed to get them hooked on McDonald's cheeseburgers.
I know, I know - it takes money to put on "Drug-Free You and Me" events, and the school district will take whatever help it can. But the McDonald's golden arches practically cover the backs of every sixth-grader there! Besides, "M" also can stand for methamphetamines....
With McDonald's accused of serving high-fat foods which make our country more and more overweight, is it right for the golden arches to be on the backs of hundreds of sixth-graders? We may be turning them away from cigarettes and pot - but is getting them addicted to french fries any better?
In any case, the "Drug-Free You and Me" conference tries all sorts of approaches to send an anti-drug message to sixth-graders. The children are entertained by singers and dancers. They hear a variety of guest speakers. About the only thing missing is a "drug racing" competition on Front Avenue.
Organizers of the conference say many youngsters have decided by sixth grade whether or not they're going to try illegal drugs. If they'd go ahead and tell their parents on their 11th birthday, mom and dad wouldn't be so shocked later....
Conference organizers also believe the Nancy Reagan line "just say no" is not enough to keep young people away from illegal drugs. "They need weapons," one adult said Wednesday - so perhaps the National Rifle Association is sponsoring this as well.
One of the biggest concerns for conference organizers these days in the inhaling of household chemicals to get high. These young people should learn a lesson from parents who grew up on 1970's and 1980's rock music - it's better to get high on Van Halen than inhalin'.
(It's interesting to learn that fact this week, since it's National Poison Prevention Week. Should parents keep all household cleaning fluids locked up, even from teenagers? Well, maybe not -- since that could lead to even messier bedrooms.)
This is the 15th year for "Drug-Free You and Me" conferences, yet I didn't hear anyone say Wednesday how well they've worked in deterring drug abuse. Has marijuana and cocaine use by teenagers dropped locally? Or are teens too busy sitting around web-surfing and playing video games, to go out and buy any?
In another show of compassion for our children, Columbus Head Start participants received free shoes Wednesday from the "Controllers Civic and Social Club." It must be fun belonging to this group....
+ Instead of forming committees, they probably have a "Control Panel."
+ Someone living a long way from the meeting hall is considered a "Remote Controller."
+ The best dancer in the club might win the title, "Control Freak."
Before I get OUT of Control, let's check other quick things from Wednesday:
+ A final land use plan was unveiled for the area around the Columbus Public Library. It includes a new school and theaters - which is weird, because I thought Rigdon Road Elementary and the Columbus Square 8 were already there.
+ A street near Fort Benning was named "Cumbaa Court" in honor of 93-year-old Gordon Cumbaa. Please note this now, in case your grandchildren someday ask why a Columbus street is named after one of the days of Kwanzaa.
(The land around Cumbaa Court actually was bought by Gordon Cumbaa during the 1930's for $250. Times certainly have changed - now you can't heat a home on that street through the winter for that much.)
+ Jimmy and Rosalyn Carter resigned as directors of the Carter Center in Atlanta. Hmmmm - has this center's board been talking with the Habitat for Humanity board?
+ AFLAC employees began working on a Habitat for Humanity home in Columbus, to mark the insurance company's 50th anniversary. I won't be impressed by this project until I see a duck kicking a nail into place with its web feet.
+ Students at Northside Intermediate School in Opelika put faces on sweet potatoes, to mark "YAM: Youth Arts Month." But sadly, there was none looking like Mother Theresa - so it could be called "Yam-Mama."
(The yam creations will be on public display at the school today. Anything caught hiding butter or brown sugar under their coats will be asked to leave.)
+ The Columbus Cottonmouths beat Fayetteville 4-2, in a one-game first-round playoff showdown. Why is the Southern Professional Hockey League in such a hurry to finish the season? It's not like the major league hockey players are going to upstage them....
+ Former Spencer High basketball star Nikita Bell was named an Associated Press honorable mention all-American. Is that good enough to get her drafted to play in the WNBA? Or with a first name like Nikita, would she be better off playing in Russia?
+ Instant Message to whomever left an unlocked bicycle along the Riverwalk near the Civic Center: Was it just a coincidence that you left a bike to be stolen where you did - at the memorial to "Victims of Crime and Leniency?"
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