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9 APR 04: THE GLORY OF THE LORD?

For many Christians, this is "Good Friday." But as I heard a radio personality in Atlanta say years ago - as far as I'm concerned, all Fridays are good.

Speaking of Christians: Have you seen the new commercial for New Life Tanning Center? It has a group of women endorsing the business - and one of the women is a church co-Pastor! What will we have next, Bill Purvis endorsing hunting
rifles?

The co-Pastor who endorses tanning centers is Darlene Swilley of North Highland Assembly of God. I guess for this group, a good bronze tan is as close as they come to Moses's face shining atop Mount Sinai.

Does it seem strange to you that a church Pastor is endorsing something like a tanning salon? After all, it was probably all some ministers could do to encourage members to see "The Passion of the Christ."

(Before I forget - Instant Message to Carla Plazas of New Life Tanning: What do you mean, you have "Columbus's cleanest tanning center"? What are customers doing to the beds at the OTHER ones? Are they smoking as they tan - or something worse?)

I happened to see the North Highland Assembly of God telecast last Sunday morning, as Darlene Swilley gave the sermon. She said when husband Jim saw her sermon title on an outside sign, he was puzzled by it. If she won't practice the message in advance on her husband, maybe he needs it the most.

(Give Jim Swilley credit for one thing - he has one of the best voices for a minister you'll ever hear. It's so deep, rich and serious that you wonder why some cartoon hasn't used him to portray God.)

North Highland Assembly of God likes to do things a bit differently. For instance, it began a weekend evening service called the "Saturday Night Search." For too many sinners, this phrase means something else - like the hunt for an open
liquor store.

North Highland Assembly of God also has a fancy electronic sign on the corner of Moon and Whittlesey Roads. I've never seen a CVS store have so much competition at an intersection....

If that's not enough, North Highland Assembly of God staged its own version of the "Passion play" last weekend - not at the church, but at the RiverCenter's Bill Heard Theatre. Oh, I get it now! Jim Swilley is going to appear in Chevrolet
commercials.

Several area churches have unusual events planned for Easter weekend. In fact, First Presbyterian Church will hold a sunrise service Sunday morning - on the top deck of a downtown parking garage! So don't be surprised if instead of a stone, they roll away an SUV.

BLOG UPDATE: Remember the question I had for my Pastor, relating to recent flooding in Massachusetts? [4 Apr] I finally asked it the other day - and he said his comment about the flooding was "just a note." He admitted the floods were NOT necessarily caused by the recent court rulings on same-sex marriage. Now I feel better about Thursday's rainstorm.

The Pastor explained God can pour out all sorts of end-time punishments - not only floods, but earthquakes and plagues. And if those don't work, God could get REALLY tough. He might force everyone to watch Jerry Laquire's talk show.

Now other notes from a Thursday in which many prayers for rain were answered:

+ Brian Sharpe presented his final "Restaurant Report Card" on WRBL. I didn't catch the reason why his weekly reports are ending. Perhaps Sharpe's career has reached the "golden fork" in the road.

(No, no, no -- I will resist the urge to write: "Stick a golden fork in him; he's done....")

+ WRBL also announced reporter Anna-Marie Gregory is leaving after two years. Her last act was presenting a teacher a "Golden Apple Award" - thus potentially giving away her severance package.

+ The Columbus Catfish opened the baseball season with a 5-4 win over Capital City. It was opening night for the new Catfish play-by-play announcer, too - which explains why he said, "We're still early in the season" in the fourth inning of
game one.

(A Muscogee County Sheriff's Deputy parked a car outside Golden Park, near the Riverwalk. If a batter hits a foul ball off that car, he might want to check his hospitalization insurance.)

+ Jeff Lebo was named the new men's basketball coach at Auburn University. Lebo told reporters he likes teams that are fast. Considering he only spent two seasons coaching Tennessee-Chattanooga, he apparently likes to change teams that way as well.

(I can see his first endorsement deal now - Lebo for Beebo pecan spins.)

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