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23 APR 04: THE U.C.
"Riverfest Weekend" begins this evening in the Columbus Historic District. In fact, it's a short walk from my apartment - so maybe I should join the fun. Anyone who wants to come to my front porch and hear me sing can do so for five dollars.
This year the Historic Columbus Foundation decided to move Riverfest away from South Commons, back to where it all began - the green space in the middle of Broadway. You may be surprised to learn during the rest of the year, that nice wide
median is NOT used by law firms for touch football games.
Thursday's Ledger-Enquirer had a map showing which streets are closed for Riverfest - but there's one they did NOT mark. It's the block of my apartment complex on First Avenue, which is closed to thru traffic for a few days. If you wind up at the corner of 4th and Broadway, you could be stuck there until Sunday night.
For some reason, the city of Columbus has picked this week to do major sewer work in my block -only one block from the Riverfest action. How crazy is this? How am I supposed to make a small fortune charging people for parking spaces?
When I say major sewer work, I mean MAJOR sewer work. The concrete tubes on the corner of 5th Street and 1st Avenue the other day were about six feet high. I like to go jogging, but hurdles like this simply are too tall.
(I won't be surprised if some family which lacks money for Riverfest decides to let the children play on those concrete tubes instead....)
They've been digging up First Avenue in my block for a couple of days, apparently replacing the sewer line. While the city is going to all this trouble, could someone please take a break and fix the longstanding leak in my bathtub faucet?
Amazingly, that's not the only project "Under Construction" in my block. All week long a crew has been at my apartment complex replacing worn-out wood frames. My first thought when I saw this work was - who's about to buy this complex, and how much is the rent going up?
The work crew began Monday morning, spraying high-pressure hoses all over the complex. It was designed to strip peeling paint off the wood frames - but in the process, it ruined the nice paint job on my new back door from a month ago.
Then crew members started walking around on the roof of the complex, prying away old boards along the side and hammering in new ones. Maybe while they're up there, they can show me a secret attic door for storing some of my piles of junk.
The sound of footsteps on the apartment roof actually brought back memories for me. I used to live in a one-bedroom duplex in College Park - and every fall and winter, squirrels somehow found a hole and raced around the attic, sounding like they were storing food. I didn't mind this, because it might have scared burglars into thinking the place was haunted.
I'm assuming the work crews around and at my apartment complex is going to take a break for the weekend. But come to think of it - are they hoping for plates of "Pig Jig" barbecue from sympathetic chefs?
That thought brings me back to Riverfest. While you hear lots of stories each year about how wonderful the weekend is, I've heard several complaints over the years:
+ People who live near the river in Phenix City say the music violates noise ordinances. Now there's something missing from the sales booths - earplug stands.
+ Others get upset because they can't bring their pets with them, to walk around the Riverfest grounds. Do these same people complain not being allowed to expose their pets to other animals at the circus?
+ Of course, parking is always a problem on Riverfest weekend. I've seen parts of Broadway get so filled with cars, I almost think El Vaquero opened a new restaurant there.
Riverfest always features a couple of star musical acts. Tonight's special guest after dark is the band "Blues Traveler." Thankfully the St. Louis Blues are eliminated from the hockey playoffs, to make this possible....
Saturday morning of Riverfest will include free classes in cardiopulmonary resuscitation and a 5,000-meter run. If they really want us to put the C.P.R. skills to use, they should make the run a marathon.
It occurs to me as I'm writing all this that I ought to get in on the Riverfest action. I should set up a table on a street corner, and sell my CD's as people walk by. Maybe if I hurry, I can find a monkey to dance to the songs.
So what will South Commons have to offer in place of Riverfest? A three-day sale which starts today, offering all sorts of electronic items at big discounts. But if you have to pay five dollars just to get into the Civic Center's sale, won't you feel guilty if you decide it's all worthless and leave empty-handed?
Riverfest is not the only "fest" in the area this weekend. Kiesel Park in Auburn will host "CityFest" on Saturday. It's promising music, arts, crafts, games - and perhaps for the first time, a job fair for fired Auburn University employees.
Now some odds and ends from the Thursday news:
+ Rep. Tom Buck of Columbus announced he'll retire from the Georgia House after 38 years. But he apparently announced this with a written statement, because reporters couldn't track him down for a comment Thursday night. Did Mayor Poydasheff kidnap Buck, to talk him out of this?
(Only three weeks ago, Tom Buck told a TV reporter he planned to run for re-election. So what happened here? Why all of a sudden do we have "Buck on Ice?")
+ Greg Countryman announced he's running for Muscogee County Marshal. So what was that "Countryman for Marshal" sign I saw on a car, on the day of the M.L.K. parade in January -- a well-planned news leak?
(I asked it before, and I'll ask it again - why isn't Greg Countryman running for Sheriff, instead of Marshal? Maybe he saw those Rainbow/PUSH Coalition recall petitions, and decided there aren't enough names on them to make it worthwhile.)
+ The ABC News web site reported the Army has ordered Fort Benning chaplain James Yee NOT to comment on his recent legal troubles. Hmmmm - how curious this is. The same military which can get civilians fired for taking pictures of caskets may be threatening to make the chaplain's downloaded pornography public.
+ Publix announced a recall of "Dutch Apple pies" because the labels say Dutch apple on top, but strawberry rhubarb on the bottom. That will teach this supermarket chain to sell half-pies in the bakery section....
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