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1 APR 04: FREE CUP OF ICE

Instant Message to Bob Uecker, wherever you are: You missed the chance of a lifetime Wednesday. You could have had a seat in the front row for a Columbus Cottonmouths hockey game, and not paid a penny for it.

Wednesday brought what my Pastor calls a "rare and grand opportunity," which he encourages worshippers to enjoy There was FREE Cottonmouths hockey at the Civic Center! The only problem is, there was no ticket stub to prove to you I
went....

Tuesday night's game between the Cottonmouths and Mississippi was suspended after two periods, due to "ice problems." The Ledger-Enquirer explained this as a gash behind a goal -- so it was NOT that guy in a tutu who interrupted Michelle Kwan at the World Figure Skating Championships.

Because the game was suspended and it's the final week of the regular season, Columbus and Mississippi agreed to resume play with the third period at 11:00 a.m. Wednesday. The Cottonmouths may have stumbled onto something here -a 20-minute "hockey sampler," for fans with tight budgets.

Only one thing stood in the way of my attending the free hockey - my elderly next-door neighbor. She'd reserved me for a 9:00 a.m. drive to the Salvation Army office on Second Avenue. Before you regular blog readers get ahead of this story - no,
she was NOT kicked out of the apartment and asking for eight dollars to get shelter. [18-19 Dec 03]

I was ready for my neighbor at 9:00 a.m. - but she didn't come out of the apartment. I stood around waiting until 9:20 a.m., then decided to do something I was certain would bring her out. Sure enough - as soon as I started a Bible study, she knocked on the door and interrupted it.

It turned out my neighbor changed my Bible study topic as we drove to the Salvation Army. She asked me for some verses on "temptation," since that was going to be her church's study topic Wednesday night. If this woman was 40 years
younger, I might actually have FELT tempted at that moment.

I didn't realize the Salvation Army office is part of the local "food bank network" I've mentioned here, providing assistance for low-income people. My next-door neighbor wound up with a cardboard box loaded with cans. Too bad they were all steel cans, so she couldn't make extra money recycling them.

The morning's errand ended just in time for me to walk to the Civic Center from my downtown apartment for free hockey. On the way, I encountered a sure sign of spring. Familiar uniformed people were busy preparing Golden Park for baseball season. No, not the players -- the Muscogee County Prison inmates....

I'd guess a fairly good crowd of about 1,000 people showed up for the third period. But sad to say, the nacho chips at the concession stand cost $2.50 as usual -- so the Cottonmouths weren't quite THAT generous.

With no tickets to buy, you could sit anywhere you pleased - so I took a third-row seat near the penalty box, right behind two women who led Cottonmouth cheers throughout the period. This again was a rare treat for me. Most of the time, I
wind up starting clapping and cheers at Columbus sports events - and then people sitting near me move away.

A woman one row ahead of me openly admitted to the fans around her: "You can tell what sort of job I have, when I can come here for a hockey game." At 11:00 a.m. with no one sitting next to her, she must be a salesperson who met her quota for March.

This woman one row ahead of me kept dropping insults about Cottonmouths defenseman Ryan Risidore. "He's the worst player on the team," she told me at one point. So if she had her way, he'd be Ryan Out-the-door.

Columbus had a 3-2 lead on Mississippi overnight - but the Sea Wolves scored a goal with about five minutes left, then won 4-3 in a shootout. What a shame. I was hoping to pick up a save or a win, as a "relief fan."

The loss to Mississippi means Columbus is out of the running for the East Coast Hockey League playoffs - even though the Cottonmouths have ten more wins than losses. If only this team played college basketball....

When the Snakes' final shootout attempt failed, I ate my last couple of nacho chips and got up to leave. The concession worker provided me more chips than cheese, thus proving a claim I first learned in that kindergarten classic song "The
Farmer in the Dell" - the cheese stands alone.

COMING FRIDAY: Is a "dream home" in a bad neighborhood? That's one man's opinion....

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