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27 FEB 04: TO THE MANOR BORN

Still looking for ways to advance my debut CD, I presented my first solo concert Thursday. The location was Columbus's Muscogee Manor. A couple of people showed up with lunch -- but I'm thrilled to say no one threw it at me.

Muscogee Manor is located just off Schatulga Road, a short drive from the Muscogee County Prison and Youth Detention Center. Admittedly it's a nursing home -- so some of the residents may feel like they have something in common with the inmates.

(I have to admit I'd never driven down much of Schatulga Road before Thursday. It was amazing to travel so far on a key road without passing a single fast-food restaurant or convenience store.)

People who dream of "One Columbus" should pay Muscogee Manor a visit. I found a good racial mix in attendance at the concert, and everyone seemed to get along. Not one person there brought up next week's referendum on the Georgia flag.

Since the Ledger-Enquirer and Playgrounds didn't send critics to review my concert (I knew I forgot to tell somebody!), allow me to self-evaluate what happened:

Pre-Show: The "concert room" at Muscogee Manor has a boombox and a small P-A system for audio. For some reason, it also has giant blow-up beach balls and baseballs on a back table. At some locations, the crowd would have batted them back and forth across the room before the show.

The activities staff at Muscogee Manor is surprised at first about my showing up for a concert. It wasn't on the very-full February "calendar of events" in the hallway. A recent Thursday a couple of weeks ago must have been slow - because it actually had "The Price is Right" scheduled at 11:00 a.m.

Song 1: With a staff member running the boombox, I'm introduced for the concert to begin. I'm not really that nervous, because I've sung church solos for hundreds of people before. And most of the people in the room are so old that their negative comments about my music would be dismissed as elderly crankiness.

At the church I attend, we normally don't gesture as we sing; it's considered too theatrical. So a strange thing happens during the hand-clapping song "Washing of Water" which WMLF Radio has been playing. Most of the audience claps on beats 1 and 3, and I discover I'm doing it on beats 2 and 4. I give away my non-Southern background right away.

Song 2: The audience enthusiastically applauds after the first song, and I make some small talk about the weather. It's cold and rainy outside their secure manor doors - and the folks in Gainesville can have that snow which fell overnight.

Another hand-clapping number starts - but I can't hear the boombox too well, and get a bit behind the beat. I was concerned that might happen with this song. But at least I'm still young enough to keep up with runaways like that one.

Song 4: I had a printed list of songs with me, just in case something happened - and I make it happen, by forgetting what song is next. Maybe I'm more nervous than I realize. After all, I haven't removed the microphone from its stand yet.

The next song "The Bible Says" follows "Just a Closer Walk With Thee" - and I engage the audience in some chat about HOW to have a closer walk. What should we read, I suggest? "Any book you can," says a retired minister to my right. Oh really - like maybe the Yellow Pages?

Song 5: The Ray Boltz song "Watch the Lamb" is a moving story of the crucifixion, which I compare in introduction to"The Passion of the Christ." Yet something different happens - as the audience starts applauding my singing one verse before the ending, on the line "the lamb ran away!" Maybe this group is a bunch of animal rights activists.

Song 7: Keeping the older audience in mind, I bring out the children's song "Jesus Loves Me" - and many in the audience know it. In fact, I tell everyone who joins in the singing to give themselves a hand.

Song 8: This was the song that gave me trouble in rehearsal, because I kept forgetting a few words. Yet at concert time, every word comes out fine. Muscogee Manor isn't fancy enough to have TelePrompters set up for the musicians.

After the song, I introduce a family from my congregation which came out for the concert. The daughter in the family is the church pianist -- and her face promptly turns red, when someone in the crowd encourages her to go to the piano and play something. "Maybe if they invite me back," I suggest -- or she can negotiate her own deal after the show.

Song 10: Just before the grand finale, I thank the audience for being friendly and responsive. Why, not even one person has left the room during the concert.

Then I ask everyone to smile - and pull out cameras I had hidden to take pictures of the audience. Only then do I admit it's my solo concert premiere. Always thinking about those potential hecklers, you know....

Many in the audience join me in singing "Amazing Grace" - and then the Muscogee Manor activities staff openly thanks me for coming, and invites me back anytime I wish. A Sally Field moment suddenly hits -- they like me! They really like me!!

Speaking of Christian music: an unusual concert is planned tonight at Columbus's Central Baptist Church. It's a fund-raiser for a commercial radio station, that's owned by Clear Channel. And yes, it was scheduled BEFORE Howard Stern was suspended....

The concert will raise money for WMLF-AM - specifically the "Southern gospel" side, which is on from Monday-Friday. Apparently NO money will be raised for the Friday-Sunday "Ritmo Latino Radio" programming. That's too bad, because I dream of recording a salsa version of "El Shaddai" someday.

Jim Foster said on WMLF the other day he'd like to get Southern gospel music back on the radio on weekends. Come to think of it, it IS bizarre that a radio station plays Christian music only on days which aren't considered worship days.

(So is Jim Foster in a money-raising contest with Jose Ricci of Ritmo Latino Radio -- and the person who brings in the most gets AM-1270 for all seven days of the week? Perhaps we should be thankful Clear Channel isn't suggesting "Duke and the Doctor" air 24 hours a day.)

What strikes me as strange about tonight's fundraiser is that the Southern gospel programming on WMLF has several regular advertisers. And if that's not enough, you have to pay $90 for Jim Foster to read your "church news" announcement! I don't think Oral Roberts asked for this much from donors when God threatened to kill him.

BLOG UPDATE: The attorney for former Deputy David Glisson has called a late-morning news conference today. Richard Hagler says he wants to clear up some misunderstandings about the Kenneth Walker case. For starters, Glisson does NOT have $100 million to pay for the family's lawsuit.

Aides to Georgia Attorney General Thurbert Baker announced Thursday they hope to appoint someone next week to handle possible prosecutions in the Kenneth Walker case. Isn't this amazing? It's too hot a case even for Attorney General Baker - and he's not up for reelection until 2006.

Aides say Attorney General Thurbert Baker is looking for a prosecutor in Southwest Georgia to take over the Kenneth Walker case. He's also looking for someone with the time to handle it In other words, we need a District Attorney with so little crime in his or her county that they're out playing golf two days a week.

Federal Judge Clay Land has agreed to hear the lawsuit filed by Kenneth Walker's family. But with $100 million at stake, you can't help wondering if this former lawyer wishes he was on the other side of the bench just one more time.

BLOG-BLAH-BLAH: Speaking of that case, this comment was posted less than two hours before we closed the Big Blog Question on David Glisson's firing Wednesday night. Here's what "Tree" had to say:

Kennth Walker would still be alive if he was not apart of a group that visited a drug den. Plain and simple !! There is the truth in a nut shell. Let's say he visited the drug den anyway and was still pulled over by the SWAT team. Mr. walker would still be alive if he had shown his hands when ordered to. Also, how can anyone believe that cocaine was planted in Mr. Walker's system after his death. Hello???? The NARCOTIC could not have flowed through his system unless his heart was pumping. Should we even begin to think that he came alive long enough during an autopsy for someone to slip a vial of cocaine into his system, have his heart pump it through his entire body and then die again. I think not. How stupid can any person be to believe that. Simply this is my opinion. Everyone is entitled to their's. If you agree please sign a petition going around to reinstate Deputy David Glisson. Also, CB&T has a trust fund to assist The Glisson Family as the endure such strife.

We appreciate your opinion, Tree. But it raises a few questions. For one thing, is everyone operating drug dens in Columbus posting signs so they're clearly identified -- so we can steer clear of them?

I don't claim to be a doctor, so I can't address Tree's statement about whether cocaine "flowed through his system." But if someone can develop darts tipped with poisonous ricin, maybe someone else is carrying bullets dipped in cocaine powder.

Plenty of other stuff happened Thursday as well:

+ Russell County High School's Principal finally confirmed a student was bitten by a bat Monday. I first heard about this Wednesday, but the school denied there was a problem.. Maybe the staff thought the bat belonged to the baseball team.

+ Summit Hospital officials revealed groundbreaking in Phenix City has been delayed - in part because Native American artifacts from 1,000 years ago were found at the construction site. So? If "Boomer 95.3" isn't playing songs from back then, it's obviously no big deal....

+ Columbus Police announced all-terrain vehicles will be used to patrol the Riverwalk. While we're at it, how about having those ATV's run over the grass on either side of the Riverwalk - so prison work crews won't have to cut it.

+ The United Way of the Chattahoochee Valley announced it needs $175,000 to match a challenge grant from unnamed donors. If this doesn't work, the agency may have to swallow its pride and borrow money from the Valley Rescue Mission.

+ Columbus State University renamed its computer science department after T-SYS. Aw c'mon! What's next - Columbus Tech naming its auto repair program after Slaughter's Discount Car Sales?

+ Alabama's annual education report card came out, showing Auburn High School students had a 98-percent passing rate on graduation exams. There's an easy explanation for this, of course. Auburn University trustees can't micro-manage
things.

+ Brian Sharpe's "Restaurant Report Card" revealed Cancun's Mexican Grille in Auburn was marked down because of "sores on the cook's hand." We suggest the managers lower their standards a bit - and not serve chicken so fresh it's still pecking in the kitchen.

+ Instant Message to Maxie's Soul Food on Fort Benning Road: Did we hear your radio commercial right - you wait for "divine inspiration" before posting your daily lunch menu at 10:30 a.m.? If God stops giving you guidance, does this mean the "end-time" famine has begun?

(It looks like this is one restaurant NOT to visit if you're hungry for devil's food cake....)

BLOGGER'S NOTE: Daily blogging may diminish over the next few weeks, due to our annual spring clean-up....

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