BURKARD'S BLOG

I searched on the Internet months ago, and found no one keeping a blog about events in Columbus, Georgia. (Well, other than a 15-year-old high school student, and who knows how much he pays attention to the news?) So being the hip web-savvy guy that I am, I decided to start a blog of my own - chronicling happenings in the town I've called home for six years, as well as my experiences in it.

But be warned.... I used to have a humor service called LaughLine.Com, so my views may be a bit amusing. And the views are my own; no one has paid me to present theirs. Pressured, yes - but paid, no.

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26 AUG 03: THE GARDEN VARIETY

When last we left you, we were walking around Callaway Gardens admiring the beauty of nature. Of course, one co-worker pointed out to me that good-looking sorority women can qualify as "natural beauty," too.

You need comfortable shoes to get around Callaway Gardens, because there's a good bit of walking between various attractions. You can drive around the complex, too - but anyone doing that in an SUV would probably feel guilty doing it.

The Virginia Hand Callaway Discovery Center at Callaway Gardens opened only three years ago. One fun feature there in Callaway's "Summer of the Bugs" is a "CRAWL-iseum" displaying unusual insects. I saw a metallic green bug, and realized where Volkswagen had come up with some of its paint schemes.

One of the beetles in the Crawl-iseum was downright HUGE - at three to four inches long. It was so big it might actually scare off all the cockroaches in my kitchen....

The Callaway Discovery Center also has an auditorium for watching nature films. Except when I passed it, most of the people were lying down on the benches - and many of them looked like the ladies of Alpha Delta Pi from Auburn. Was this their strange idea of a slumber party?

There's an amphitheater just outside the Discovery Center, where a "birds of prey" show is presented three times a day -- but I did NOT stop to watch this. I know people who have reported on the Auburn University Raptor Center's problems, so that might be enough to spread dangerous diseases.

The Mountain Creek Inn inside the Discovery Center allows you to get a nice lunch or snack. But on this day, the soda fountain wasn't working - and a 12-ounce can of diet cola costs $1.50. I KNEW it! Callaway Gardens had to have "gotcha pricing" somewhere on the grounds....

Some of the walking trails at Callaway Gardens admittedly are better to view at times other than late August. For instance, the "Rhododendron Trail" didn't really have anything in bloom -- except for signs marking where the rhododendrons are.

There's also a "Holly Trail" - which got me thinking about the old holiday song, "The Holly and the Ivy." Why DOES the holly always "wear the crown" in that song? Was that tune written in response to some pointy-headed Ivy League liberals?

Around a few bends, we drove to the Sibley Horticultural Center - which is mostly closed, for a renovation which should finish this fall. But wouldn't you know it? They found a way to keep the big gift shop open....

The Sibley Center leads to the "Azalea Bowl Trail" - a nice walk around a lake, with gates you're asked to close at either end of it. I'm not sure why gates are needed here. Do THAT many criminals try to use this park as a getaway route?

(Before you ask - no, Callaway Gardens does NOT host an Azalea Bowl football game. But if Boise, Idaho can have a bowl game, it may only be a matter of time.)

At the far end of the Azalea Bowl Trail, there's a small wooden chapel - where a woman on this Sunday afternoon was playing your songs on request. This woman has played organ at the Gardens for more than 40 years, so I didn't bother to ask for any Jennifer Lopez hits.

(As it happened, one of the organist's selections while I was there was "In the Garden" -- which begins, "I come to the garden alone." Did she really have to rub it in like this?)

Do they have weddings at the Cason chapel, you ask? So many, apparently, that there's an easily reversible sign outside it. Now who do you have in mind for me? And would you like to make the call to Auburn, to arrange it?

In short: Callaway Gardens is well worth the trip - and worth taking a couple of days to see it all. In fact, an annual hot-air balloon festival is planned at Callaway this coming weekend. Maybe the protests in Montgomery will be finished by then, and the demonstrators can help blow up the balloons.