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2 SEP 04: G'S FOR W

Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue declared a state of emergency Wednesday night. He said it was because of Hurricane Frances. But why am I thinking he's concerned about Zell Miller coming home and running against him in 2006?

Senator Zell Miller gave the keynote speech at the Republican National Convention, even though he says he'll remain a Democrat. The last time a U.S. Senator zig-zagged this much, the place may have been Chappaquiddick.

Local Democrats say Republicans can't accuse John Kerry of flip-flopping on issues, then turn around and have "Zig-Zag Zell" Miller speak at their convention. I think it's sort of like dating. If you change your mind away from me, you're wishy-washy and won't commit. If you change your mind toward me, you've converted to the truth.

No, I have NOT been watching the Republican Convention on television - just as I didn't watch the Democrats several weeks ago. In fact, so many speakers have said the same things over and over that I've concluded these parties really are secret cults.

(The TV event of the night for me was the Latin Grammy Awards - and I'm thankful to report there was NO repeat of last year's show. Long-time readers will recall that was the night my water heater leaked, and left a puddle in the living room.)

President Bush will give his big speech tonight, accepting the Republican nomination for a second term. Before he does, someone should ask him - is this election winnable?

To be "fair and balanced" like July [29 Jul], I returned to the Fundrace web site Wednesday night to check which local residents have donated to the Republican campaign. It turns out President Bush has far more $2,000 donors from Columbus than John Kerry does. In fact, what does it say when John Edwards still has more $2,000 donors than John Kerry?

The biggest political donor of all in town is investment banker Salvador Diaz Verson. He's given the Republican National Committee more than $25,000. If Diaz Verson isn't careful, he's going to donate his entire tax cut.

The list of $2,000 donors to President Bush's campaign is dominated by one name. AFLAC shows up as the employer of 11 different "maximum" supporters. So when will the duck walk through the White House Rose Garden in a commercial?

(I read online that AFLAC threw a big party at the Republican Convention in New York for Senator Saxby Chambliss. I wonder if the guests had to answer an "AFLAC Trivia Question" -- like naming the man Chambliss beat two years ago.)

Thanks to this election list, I learned the President and Chief Financial Officer of AFLAC lives a short walk from me on Front Avenue -- and Kriss Cloninger is a $2,000 donor to the Bush campaign. Now I know where to start, if I decide to sell my album door-to-door.

Several familiar corporate names are maximum donors to President Bush's campaign. There's Daniel Amos of AFLAC. There's Jim Blanchard of Synovus. There's Richard Ussery of TSYS. And there's Bill Heard -- who somehow has a road and highway named after him, while Bobby Peters still doesn't have either one.

The Bush campaign donation list also has $2,000 from both "Lawrence Hogan Mize" and his wife. You probably know him better as Larry Mize, the pro golfer. So where's the executive order, returning a P.G.A. tour event to Callaway Gardens?

(And how about this -- the Bush campaign has a $750 gift from Carver High School football coach Wallace Davis! It's a wonder he hasn't been pushed into speaking at the convention.)

It's a bit surprising to find three Columbus attorneys on the list of maximum donors to President Bush's campaign. You mean they're not supporting "trial lawyer" John Edwards? Hmmmm - maybe there's a bar exam which needs double-checking here....

Doctors ad medical professionals also fill the list of "W donors." For instance, Dr. Jack Hughston of Hughston Clinic fame made one donation of $540 before July 31. Wait a minute - $540? Now we know WDAK has a right-wing bias.

(If you're still in doubt about this: Mike Gaymon of the Chamber of Commerce has donated $150 - and he has a weekly WDAK talk show now.)

And for you conspiracy buffs: the donation list has $100 to the Bush campaign from "C.L. Patrick" of Carmike Cinemas. But don't you think he would have been paid that money back, to keep "Fahrenheit 911" out of his theatres?

Now for some Instant Messages which shouldn't be political at all:

+ To all critics of Muscogee County School Superintendent John Phillips: Have you recovered yet? I mean, from the news that he's a finalist for Georgia Superintendent of the Year....

(Given some of the things John Phillips has said and done, I imagine many people were surprised to learn he's in the final four for Georgia Superintendent of the Year. Maybe he moved that money allocated for a "chief of staff" to lobby for this.)

+ To the Columbus State University women's soccer team: Do you realize your opening home game Wednesday night at "The Farm" probably had more fans than the Columbus Catfish at Golden Park? They had a baseball doubleheader -- but of course, you probably had many more "headers."

+ To the driver behind me who honked his horn at Wynnton and Buena Vista Roads: Did you REALLY expect me to run that red light? Have you come to think everyone in Columbus does that?

+ To the couple I saw lying together on a Riverwalk bench at about 7:30 Wednesday morning: Did you two know each other when you finally woke up? And did you know where you'd been the night before?

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© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.