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14 SEP 04: OVER THE RAINBOW
We're reversing our usual order today. Before we get to the main topic, we simply MUST comment briefly on several other things:
+ Since I mentioned it for Bobby Peters, I must be evenhanded - there's now a "Suddeth for Marshal" campaign sign posted on the outside wall of the "Boom Boom Room." Of course, Ken Suddeth can do that with a clear conscience. Deputy marshals don't raid places such as this.
+ I was shocked - SHOCKED! - to read online Monday night that Rich's-Macy's will drop the "Rich's" from its name. My old joke about entering Peachtree Mall with "Rich's" and going out with only "Penney's" is about to go out the window.
Rich's and Macy's were merged by Federated Department Stores several years ago - and now the company has decided to call all its stores Macy's. Next thing you know, these New York Yankees will try to take the sugar out of sweet tea.
Rich's Department Stores are more an "Atlanta thing," I suppose. But I used to shop at Rich's quite a bit - and I can name you at least one CNN anchor who bought "Finale on Five" discount items downtown and wore them on the air. Which I guess says something about CNN salaries, doesn't it?!
Macy's certainly will be a classy-sounding name at Peachtree Mall, to go with Dillard's and Parisian. Now if we could just find a fancy-named buyer for "Dollar Tree"....
+ The Chattahoochee Valley Regional Library System decided Monday NOT to close the Lumpkin branch. So which one will get axed instead - the SOUTH Lumpkin branch? As in Road?
Some people say there's nothing for children to do in Lumpkin, besides visit the library. There's no city park, no playground, no video stores - and apparently no parent with a big backyard for playing ball.
The local library system thought about closing the Lumpkin library because teenagers were causing trouble there, and only one full-time librarian was on the staff. Maybe this librarian should go down the road, borrow an old-time whip from
Westville, and keep these rabble-rousers in line.
Lumpkin residents decided to volunteer their time to keep the library open and staffed. Now that's the community spirit! So who will be next -- and buy a basketball goal at Wal-Mart, so the children can get some exercise?
The plan is to hire a second staff librarian in Lumpkin - but whoever takes the job will need a high school education, and be willing to work for less than eight dollars an hour. The way some residents describe this town, the high school education might be the biggest hurdle.
A person who attended a Monday public hearing tells me one man made a BIG deal about the use of jail inmates to clean the Lumpkin Library. If he thinks that makes the library unsafe, he'd better not come to Columbus. On trash days, he'll have to avoid entire neighborhoods.
AND NOW.... for our main event: Jesse Jackson of the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition is scheduled to visit Columbus State University today. He's encouraging college students to vote in November. But this might be difficult at C.S.U., which doesn't pick a homecoming queen until basketball season.
Jesse Jackson is coming to town with the "Hope Is On the Way" tour -- as in the Democratic ticket. Some of us would feel more comfortable if a Republican was with him on this tour. You know, we just may have found Dylan Glenn's next
job....
The Jesse Jackson visit to C.S.U. comes on the same night that Columbus city officials hold their second public forum on a proposed one-cent sales tax. Tonight's forum is at Baker Middle School - so if no supporters show up there, I guess we'll know where to find them.
LAUGHLINE FLASHBACK: Jesse Jackson's last visit to Columbus occurred three years ago. He visited a church near downtown, only three months after confessing to an adulterous affair. Here's how we reported on it in the LaughLine issue of 23-24 Apr 01:
Jesse Jackson came to our town Sunday afternoon. The organizers of his visit told the local newspaper they hoped to attract a mix of "labor, college students, young and older...." Strangely, they never mentioned a mix of black and white.
We'd guess about 200 people showed up to hear Jesse Jackson speak - and more than 90 percent of them were African-American. The "Euro-American" audience included a man wearing a seersucker jacket, a straw hat and a military-style "buzz cut." When WILL our police learn to disguise the undercover officers better?
Our white Mayor showed up to welcome Jesse Jackson to town, calling the visit an "honor." He said we should focus on Jackson's message, instead of tearing down the messenger. That sounds fair - but why didn't he talk at all about reducing the
number of single mothers?
Jesse Jackson and his tour buses arrived at a church near downtown about 55 minutes after the program started. They left about an hour later, before the closing song was finished. Either Jackson's Georgia tour has an incredibly tight schedule - or he's found a very clever way of avoiding reporters' questions.
But seriously: Jesse Jackson explained he was late because the tour buses missed a turn - and wound up taking a round trip around the metropolitan area. It's no wonder Jackson encourages young people to stay in school. That way, someday someone in his entourage will be able to read a map.
(Maybe also, someone would spell the song title on Jackson's program correctly - so in "We Shall Overcome," the "C" isn't capitalized.)
We were a bit surprised to learn Jesse Jackson's WIFE is on the bus tour with him. Jackson introduced her as "the mother of my five children...." Now hold on a minute! Is that child with Karin Stanford NOT his? Did the Rainbow/PUSH payoff
somehow change the father?
Jesse Jackson's 25-city tour of Georgia is called the "New South Tour for Hope, Healing and Shared Economic Security." How nice of Jackson to be concerned about those laid-off dot-com millionaires....
Jesse Jackson urged his audience to move beyond the "race gap" to the "resource gap." He says the South is filled with low-income workers, such as motel housekeepers. OK, then shouldn't Jackson tell us how much he tipped the motel maid last night?
Jesse Jackson IS a "Reverend" - so he asked "What Would Jesus Do" with the 1-point-5 trillion-dollar budget surplus. "Would he give half to the rich young ruler?" Maybe so. But has Jackson checked that OTHER part of the Bible - about taking from the guy who buried the talent, and giving it to the guy with ten? [Matt. 25:20-28]
Jesse Jackson argued it makes no sense to give part of the tax cut to Bill Gates - since he "lacks the capacity to spend the money." Now hold on a minute! There's all that Microsoft stock available right now, at reduced prices....
Jesse Jackson asked rhetorically how someone could lack health insurance, earn less than 10,000 dollars a year, live in a trailer, and somehow call themselves conservative. Two words, Dr. Jackson -- Home-Based Business.
Jesse Jackson couldn't resist bringing up last week's southern flag vote. "Mississippi voted to secede from the union again! One America, one flag shouldn't be that difficult." Will someone please remind him the vote was about the state flag -- NOT the Stars and Stripes?
(Jackson went on to ridicule Mississippi lawmakers for putting all their energy into the state flag issue, instead of jobs and education. Did we miss something -- or did Jackson WANT South Carolina's legislature to put some energy into a flag last
year?)
Jesse Jackson noted the success of African-American athletes - then dared to quip about the Masters: "If commentators had the vote, Tiger wouldn't have won!" We're not so sure about that. If certain white PLAYERS had the vote, maybe....
LaughLine tried to be merely an observing reporter during Jesse Jackson's speech. But then he asked everyone to stand who's at least 17-and-a-half years old, and NOT registered to vote. We had to get up - the only one in our section who did! Of course, Jackson never asked WHY we weren't registered -- such as our RELIGIOUS reasons, from the Bible....
(We'll get into those reasons another time, if anyone is interested. Let's just say we don't buy the argument, "If you don't vote, you can't complain." If the government takes our tax money without asking us, are we supposed to simply grin?)
Take it from us: Jesse Jackson is a very LOUD speaker. He spoke into the microphone with such force that big speakers near us rattled. And when he emphasized how many families have no health insurance, we got downright scared....
Jackson was introduced by a state House member, who declared him "the Moses of the 20th and the 21st century." How interesting. Didn't Moses LEAVE the people for 40 years, after committing a serious offense?
A local director of the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition tried to give Jesse Jackson credit for the E-P-3 spy plane crew coming home from China. He said when Jackson offered to go to China, "Bush heard up! - and settled it." Next time this happens,
WE'LL offer to go to China -- then apply for the Nobel Peace Prize.
The local Rainbow/PUSH director also praised Jesse Jackson for having an "independent mind.... He carries out what the Spirit of the Lord tells him to do." We wonder if MRS. Jackson would agree with that - especially after that expose in the National Enquirer.
A local TV reporter claimed Jesse Jackson drew a "massive crowd." We're not sure what she saw, but the church we attended was NOT full - with a couple of almost empty pews at one side. Could it be Jesse Jackson is losing popularity? Or does he need to come to town on a day when there are no NBA playoff games?
Jesse Jackson's trip is partly a fundraising campaign for the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition. The donation envelope we received has a 35-dollar membership level - but for 100 dollars, you also get the "Jacks-Fax." Why spend 65 extra bucks to hear from Jesse Jackson when he's on TV so often?
Jesse Jackson's appeal for funds made the tour seem like a tight-budget affair. "Macon pays for Columbus, and Columbus pays for Americus...." Yet the Rainbow/PUSH New York office is located on the 27th floor of the Empire State Building! How does the group afford this -- with beggars going one subway station at a time?
(C'mon, Bill Clinton. You can put some pressure on Rainbow/PUSH - to come home to Harlem, where your office is.)
Before the program began, we overheard two men discussing Jesse Jackson in the row behind us. One said, "Don't judge him on what he did in the past, but he's doing now." This man needs to be hired as Timothy McVeigh's P.R. agent. After all, McVeigh hasn't set off a bomb in six years now....
Jesse Jackson's admission of an adulterous affair was the "500-pound gorilla" that hardly anyone in the room wanted to discuss. We asked four people at random how they'd explain allowing an admitted adulterer to speak in a church -- but only one would even admit Jackson IS an adulterer. We guess the rest really DON'T read those tabloids at the supermarkets.
(One woman answered our adulterer question by saying, "I'm glad he encouraged young people to vote." HUH?!?! Maybe Jackson unwittingly has angry George W. Bush supporters signing up....)
BLOG-BLAH-BLAH: If you plan to attend Jesse Jackson's C.S.U. presentation, we'd appreciate your thoughts about it. Please e-mail us....
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