10 AUG 07: SIZZLE WITHOUT THE STEAK

In 10.3 years in Columbus, I don't recall it ever happening before. The tabletop temperature gauge next to my computer monitor reached 100 degrees F. Thursday afternoon, before I turned on the air conditioning. And I didn't have the radio on, so you can't blame any hot air from talk show hosts.

Columbus officially had its first 100-degree day of the summer. The airport temperature actually was 99 at 4:00 p.m. and 98 at 5:00 p.m., but it jumped up to 100 at 6:00 p.m. So I hope all you afternoon rush-hour drivers are proud of yourselves.

If that wasn't enough, the "heat index" at 6:00 p.m. reached 109 degrees. That's computed by combining the temperature with the humidity. It does NOT count several other important factors - such as whether your home is made with brick, or your car has air conditioning.

Things didn't feel that bad to me when I was out Wednesday afternoon. The high was 99 -- but to borrow a common cliche, it was a "dry heat." Thursday afternoon seemed different - like a convoy of teachers returned from Panama City Beach, to start a new school year in Phenix City.

One sign that Thursday's heat was different came when I returned to my car, as I ran several errands. The car seat burned my hand a little. And when the car seat is cloth instead of leather, that's saying something. [True!]

But let's face it - a heat wave has been building in Columbus for several days. I realized that when I turned on the kitchen tap water one afternoon. I had to wait for the water to cool down, not warm up.

With all due respect to San Francisco's Mayor, these are days when having bottled water is a good thing. It's more refreshing when it's chilled in a refrigerator. Besides, what's that mayor going to do if a freak Pacific hurricane hits his city?

The House of Mercy has opened its doors during the day, as a place of cooling for older people. Don't you wonder if anyone is preaching to the visitors - and using that old line: "If you think it's hot HERE...." ?!

(I'm honestly not sure why the House of Mercy is doing this. Columbus has several senior centers, where older people can go to beat the heat -- and where no one is likely to object, if someone pulls out a deck of playing cards.)

People with outdoor jobs have to be careful in the heat, but they kept working Thursday through it all. A tree trimming service spent much of the day in my neighborhood, clearing limbs from around power lines. So the workers were in the shade - at least for awhile.

The Atlanta newspaper's web site has been inviting readers to post "how hot is it" jokes for several days. Hopefully I'm not stealing anything from there - but in our area, it's SO HOT....

+ Fountain City Coffee is ordering unroasted beans.

+ Hip-hop clubs will refuse to play Snoop Dogg's "Drop It Like It's Hot" this weekend -- because it already is.

+ Some sports fans have stopped talking about college football, and are asking when the Cottonmouths hockey season starts.

+ People are stopping by the Columbus Foundry to cool off.

+ The icy relations between Hurtsboro's Mayor and Constable actually may be improving.

+ GPB Television may change its "pledge month" programming, and raise more money by showing Antarctic penguins.

+ Dancers at the Platinum Club aren't even bothering to go out on stage wearing clothes.

+ The Muscogee County Humane Society is asking people to stop using the phrase "Dog Days," because it makes dogs look bad.

+ Several Baptist churches expect this will be the busiest weekend of the year for baptisms.

+ The first "I Challenge Derek" request on TV is for Derek Kinkade to bring in an Arctic air mass.

+ The botulism investigation at the Castleberry chili plant in Augusta has been suspended - because no one's heating chili right now.

+ I'm turning my running T-shirt over every hour - not for a suntan, but to dry off the sweat.

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: A one-time area police chief gets in trouble with the law....

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