4 JUL 07: UP WITH THE KING
Happy Independence Day - or as Columbus resident Stephen King might call it, Marathon Day. He'll be up at 7:00 a.m. He won't return home until 2:00 a.m. And he'll be so busy, I'm not sure he'll even have time to eat a plate of barbecue all day.
We're not talking about the author Stephen King -- who was a question Tuesday on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" for his nickname, the "Master of Horror." This Stephen King lives in Columbus, and specializes in fireworks. So I suppose you can give him the nickname "Master Blaster."
Stephen King suggested I talk with him about fireworks safety for Independence Day -- but I really was more interested in King and his business. Over 15 years, he's developed a local home-based company which stages fireworks shows across the Southeast. One key to business success is generating a lot of noise, you know....
"I came up with the name, 'Thunder on the Hooch,'" Stephen King told me by phone the other day. This name came to him back in 1999, but "I didn't copyright it or anything." Maybe he should have - so people wouldn't confuse today's big event in downtown Columbus and Phenix City with the weather forecast.
But Stephen King's Sky-High Pyrotechnics will NOT present the fireworks show at Thunder on the Hooch tonight. King says he was outbid by another fireworks company. I'm thankful these companies seem to be friendly rivals. Otherwise, it might feel like Fort Benning soldiers brought some of the Iraq violence home with them.
Stephen King says his company is handling 27 different Independence Day fireworks shows today. He didn't list them all, but the Eufaula Tribune reports he's presenting the event there. I'm still waiting to find out if the noise of fireworks makes Lake Eufaula fish so scared that they want to be caught.
While 27 fireworks shows in a day sounds like a lot, Stephen King admits it's actually six fewer shows than a year ago. And on top of that, he has 31 crews - so four of them may be standing outside East Alabama fireworks stands, holding "Will Explode for Food" signs.
Sky-High Pyrotechnics puts on shows in big cities such as Atlanta and Nashville. But this Independence Day will find Stephen King in Wetumpka, Alabama - because their holiday event is apparently extra-large, and apparently they couldn't arrange a rematch of that State Senate fistfight.
Stephen King told me things about fireworks shows I never realized before. For instance, did you know some shows are now computerized? King can sit at a laptop, and press keys to fire explosives. Let's all pray those al-Qaeda doctors in Britain never find out where he lives.
Fireworks shows can be run from a laptop computer if the explosives have electronic firing mechanisms. Stephen King notes that costs extra money, takes extra time to prepare - and he probably still has to carry a matchbook, in case the computer batteries die.
Stephen King also told me East Alabama fireworks stands actually do more business for New Year's Eve than Independence Day. That's because there are no "First Night" events in the Columbus area. There used to be - but that "Last Sunset in Georgia" in 1999 turned out to be more accurate than we thought.
Stephen King says he tries to make safety a priority in his fireworks shows. But he called the Golden Park displays after Columbus Catfish games "an insurance claim waiting to happen," because the explosions occur very close to cars and fans. And if the debris on your hood says "Made in China," be especially concerned....
Stephen King describes his fireworks business as "part-time work," but he has plenty of shows scheduled throughout the year. King says his company already has at least ten bookings for Labor Day weekend - when you'd think the most explosive activity would be finding a place to park, for the new college football season.
That reminds me -- mark your calendar now for April 5, 2008. Stephen King revealed to me he's already been asked to stage a fireworks show on that Saturday, to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Columbus State University. From the way he talked, I think he's going to light something more than 50 sparklers....
Stephen King ended our conversation in a rather surprising way. He asked for prayers that he and his crews will be safe with all their fireworks shows. King reminded me of an old saying in the fireworks show business: "Paranoia is a normal feeling."
You might want to spend some time on this Independence Day reviewing the Declaration of Independence. It specifically mentions many faults of "the King of Great Britain," including "a history of repeated injuries...." May another King much closer to home learn to avoid his example....
Wishing all of you a safe and happy holiday, let's check what made news on the Third of July:
+ The high temperature in Columbus was a ridiculously comfortable 81 degrees F. It was SO MILD for July that a few women turned on barbecue grills outside simply to keep warm.
(The air conditioner never came on at my house Tuesday. If I can save money on my electric bill, I'm absolutely a member of that "Fan Club,")
+ Online reports indicated Clear Channel Radio will give up ownership of WAGH-FM "Magic 98.3." The new owners will be a group called the "Aloha Station Trust" - so don't be surprised if Edgar Champagne starts singing or talking about "Tiny Bubbles."
(Also at Clear Channel, Alan Quin is becoming Program Director of both WGSY "Sunny 100" and WSTH "Rooster 106." Oh no - does this mean six weeks of non-stop Xmas music on TWO stations?)
+ The 362nd Engineer Company returned to Fort Benning, after a year-long tour in Iraq. The soldiers spent the last 12 months building bridges - so they're home just in time to help with BRAC construction.
+ The Harris County Commission voted 4-1 to approve "The Grove" development along Interstate 185. Some people fear it will ruin Harris County's quiet rural feel -- and we all know how the arrival of a roadside McDonald's has ruined other parts of our country....
+ Delta Air Lines announced it will end Atlantic Southeast service to Macon in October. This will leave Macon with no airlines at all - so now the Columbus Airport staff is asking ASA to make that jet plane noise a little louder.
+ The Columbus Little League All-Star tournament found Pioneer winning the title in junior softball. The "over-and-under" is now 4.5 - as in how many e-mails we'll get about Pioneer Little League this time.
+ Instant Message to First Georgia Bank: I've seen your commercial about bringing back "old-fashioned banking" - but how far are you going with this? Will you be closed every Wednesday afternoon, so the managers can play golf?
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