15 JUL 07: BLOG POST OF DEATH

This was a tough decision - which big story to make our top story today. The coroner or the critic? The man who handles death, or the woman who says she wants to save lives? We come down on the side of the coroner, based on A.Y.P. - which in the humor blog world means "average yuk potential."

James Dunnavant says he's resigning as Muscogee County Coroner at the end of the month. Among his reasons, Dunnavant says he's tired of getting calls in the middle of the night. You'd think someone with his job would be paid enough money to afford an answering machine....

James Dunnavant says after 38 years of service, he "needs a break." Yet after he leaves the coroner's office, he's becoming a deputy sheriff in Chattahoochee County. What sort of a break is that -- going after speeders in high-speed chases down Highway 520?

Probate Judge Julia Lumpkin has the job of selecting an interim coroner, to serve until next year's election. But James Dunnavant is endorsing his current deputy, Bill Thrower. Yes, he wants to throw his throne to a Thrower....

But an old familiar name says he wants the coroner's job, and he's already announced plans to run next year. He's Ricky Weeks, who caused a bit of a stir when he was deputy coroner in the late 1990's. Can he have the top position now - or is Weeks beyond his years?

Ricky Weeks told reporters Friday he wants to "restore the reputation" and "restore the trust" of the coroner's office. Maybe I'm missing something here - but I haven't heard people complain about the current coroner being untrustworthy. Unless, of course, all the complainers just happen to be dead now.

(Can't you see the campaign posters now - accusing Bill Thrower of being underhanded?)

From everything I've seen, James Dunnavant has been trustworthy as Muscogee County Coroner. After all, it's not his fault that Fort Benning soldier Richard Davis's body was kept at the morgue all that time....

But we should keep in mind that Ricky Weeks was passed over for coroner several years ago, in favor of James Dunnavant. You'd think someone running for that job would want to keep old differences buried, instead of resurrecting them.

Ricky Weeks says he wants to improve the coroner's office, by adding a Medical Examiner. Of course, he'd need approval from Columbus Council to add that position to the budget - unless he plans to pay for the job by developing a TV reality series on "the real-life Quincy."

So who else wants to run for the job of Muscogee County Coroner? I think the right candidate needs a good nickname, like Russell County Coroner Arthur Sumbry has -- but it's admittedly pretty hard to top "Coroner Pee Wee."

A candidate also needs good campaign managers, who will provide guidance and coaching. They might say, "You look too stiff in that commercial" - and someone running for coroner ought to understand that perfectly.

But let's face it: not everyone is cut out for this job. As even James Dunnivant might put it -- the hours for a county coroner are real killers.

In contrast, Cindy Sheehan says she's trying to prevent the deaths of more U.S. soldiers in Iraq. Her national protest tour went to Fort Benning Saturday, after she was a surprise live guest on Friday's 6:00 p.m. news. When a war protester and a complaint about Bill Heard Chevrolet both make the evening news in the same week, a revolution may be underway in Columbus.

Cindy Sheehan says U.S. soldiers should be brought home from Iraq at once. She suggested in the Friday night interview that Iraq will have a calm political process once the U.S. leaves -- as if the al-Qaeda party ever ran a slate of candidates in Afghanistan.

Cindy Sheehan didn't go to the gate of Fort Benning alone. She was part of a group of protesters, which wants President Bush and Vice President Cheney impeached. OK, they're against the U.S. mission in Iraq - but Republicans set a high standard for this in the 1990's. When did the President and Vice President lie under oath? And when did the President cheat on his wife?

One person in the protest group even recited an anti-Iraq poem, which had a rhyme for Abu Gharib. Other Iraqi cities might be tougher. Let's see: "There once was a brave young Hoosier, who went off to serve in Fallujah...."

Cindy Sheehan's group should have expected opposition at Fort Benning, and it had some. A group called "Gathering of the Eagles" held its own demonstration - no doubt disappointed that Roderick Hood changed teams in the off-season, from Philadelphia to Arizona.

If Eve Tidwell was part of the pro-surge demonstration, I didn't notice her on the Saturday night news. You'll recall Tidwell went to Texas a couple of years ago, to challenge Cindy Sheehan's protests outside President Bush's ranch. She's very much pro-state - but she's against prostate cancer.

(On the other hand, I also didn't notice Roy Bourgeois with Cindy Sheehan's protesters. For some reason, he doesn't seem as fired up about Fort Benning training people to kill insurgents in the Eastern Hemisphere.)

As Cindy Sheehan's group staged its Saturday protest, word came that charges were dropped against another group of anti-war protesters. A judge apparently decided the members of "Iraqi Veterans Against the War" never meant to cross the boundary line onto Fort Benning property. So which military installation has a better PX?

The charges were dropped against three anti-war protesters because the boundary line for Fort Benning is NOT clearly marked. That's what happens when you tear down the Southgate Apartments, and don't build anything to replace them....

BLOG UPDATE: Since we brought up Iraq and Fort Benning's Richard Davis, the movie based on his murder apparently is finished and being shown to critics. Oops, I mean film critics. I don't think they're showing it on Cindy Sheehan's protest bus.

A blog reader alerted us to an online review of "In the Valley of Elah" - but before you click on the link, be warned: if the movie gets an "R" rating, some of the comments people left with the review should get an NC-17.

Richard Davis's father apparently has seen "In the Valley of Elah" as well - because he suggested to one reviewer it's a bright story, compared to what really happened. Yet for some reason, an online comment about the movie declares Lanny Davis "a bully." Come to think of it, District Attorney Gray Conger hasn't appeared in public much lately.

The review I read suggests Tommy Lee Jones could be an Oscar contender, for playing the role based on Lanny Davis. But female lead Susan Sarandon could make "In the Valley of Elah" a contender for something else - the movie most likely to be mocked by radio talk show hosts.

So what else is making news this weekend? We found several other things....

+ Former Columbus Council candidate Jeremy Hobbs declared he's interested in running the café at the Columbus Public Library. In a statement, Hobbs says he'd run it the way Library Director Claudya Muller wants it - with only drinks and pastries. So she's for greenspace, but against green salads?!

+ A family from Tennessee claimed it developed copper poisoning, after swimming in the pool at the Comfort Inn on Macon Road. So that's where thieves dump it, after the recycling centers turn them down....

+ The RiverCenter began selling tickets for this coming season's "Broadway in Columbus" series. One of the touring productions coming to town is "Hairspray" - and the crowd at that musical could be the closest Columbus comes to a "gay pride" event for a long time.

+ An Atlanta judge dropped battery charges against John Mark Karr. Instead, the one-time semi-confessed killer of JonBenet Ramsey must spend 24 weeks in counseling - perhaps starting with a couple of sessions on how to tell the truth.

+ The University of Georgia announced Larry Munson will NOT broadcast football road games this coming season. That's OK, of course - because in the Southeastern Conference, part of the strategy is to schedule as few road games as possible to pad your record.

+ Instant Message to Dale Earnhardt Junior: That's a Bud bummer, dude. But if Budweiser isn't going to sponsor your stock car anymore, I have a suggestion. Make the staff at Talladega Superspeedway happy -- and sign up Hefty trash bags as a sponsor, for fans to throw on the track.

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.75 a gallon at Marathon on Warm Springs Road.... 20-ounce sodas for 79 cents at Walgreens.... FREE admission to the Jehovah's Witnesses convention at the Civic Center (find another church with no offering baskets)....

COMING MONDAY: An e-mail about Don Siegelman.... and the item about "brown mustard" which we've postponed because of all the weekend news....

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