for 5 APR 07: JUDGE AND NO JURY

The clues were all over the place that something was up. Municipal Court Judge Haywood Turner's arraignment suddenly was moved up a few weeks, to take place Wednesday afternoon -- and the official counts against him suddenly changed. Either a plea deal was looming, or the judge was about to sell his house and retire to a Florida condo.

Judge Haywood Turner pleaded guilty Wednesday to one count of reckless conduct, in a plea-bargain. We should specify this was for his driving on the J.R. Allen Parkway last summer - NOT for the times he's made cutting comments about Columbus Council.

Defense Attorney Peter Hoffman said outside court the guilty plea was NOT an absolute admission of wrongdoing. He explained Haywood Turner felt threatened by another driver on the J.R. Allen Parkway last August, and that's why the judge displayed a weapon. This judge obviously never watches "The People's Court" - with its old reminder NOT to take the law into your own hands.

Attorney Peter Hoffman explained a jury trial for Judge Haywood Turner would have been a "my word against his" case, where anything could happen. It might have boiled down to which talk show host could pack the courtroom with more spectators.

For pleading guilty to reckless conduct, a Troup County judge gave Judge Haywood Turner a "combination platter" sentence:

+ Forty hours of community service. I hope he follows Naomi Campbell's example, and wears designer clothing when he collects trash.

+ One year on probation. There's no word on whether gavels will be barred from his meetings with a probation officer.

+ A $1,000 fine. That part makes me wonder if Judge Turner is the one I really want to face, if I'm in trouble with the law.

+ A mandatory anger management course. Why does he have to go through this, while members of the Columbus Cottonmouths don't?

Perhaps the most noteworthy section of the sentence is that Judge Haywood Turner does NOT have to resign from municipal court. As a city employee, I don't think he has to stand for election - so former Judge Roxann Daniel will have to send her resume to every member of Columbus Council.

Mayor Jim Wetherington says he still has "a lot of respect" for Judge Haywood Turner, and hopes Wednesday's plea bargain will "be the end of it." But I suppose the victim of the reckless conduct on the J.R. Allen Parkway could file a civil suit - and put the judge's face in a lot of ads for Attorney Ken Nugent.

At least one weekly newspaper spread rumors in recent months that Judge Haywood Turner might retire, because of his legal problems. That did NOT happen Wednesday - but maybe he's working on a separate "plea bargain" with the City Manager on a pension.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now a lesson in why it pays to read beyond the front page of the newspaper....

Did you notice in the Ledger obits today that the same person was there twice?..Seems in one life he attended Jordan and in the next life he attended Hardaway.

Now, now - the Ledger-Enquirer's staff may be living up to a motto. "We'll keep doing the news until we get it right."

When my mother died, the obituary in the newspaper wasn't quite accurate. But I was struck when the pastor of our family's church actually read from the obituary during the funeral service. As many years as my mom taught Sunday School, you'd think the minister would have come to know her a bit better than that.

Now for other Wednesday news from the land of the living....

+ Federal, state and Lee County officers investigated an alleged "chop shop" for cars in Smiths Station. When the business is named "Bi-City Parts and Salvage" and it's NOT in Columbus or Phenix City, that could be a clue right there.

+ Columbus Mayor Jim Wetherington told WRBL the city is down to only ten openings on the police department. If this trend continues, the city "park police" might make a comeback - with wanna-be officers filling empty recreation positions.

+ A homeless man named Randy McCook carried a 30-pound cross for several miles down Veterans Parkway. For some reason, WRBL never asked him how he kept that cross stored under the Second Avenue Bridge.

(Randy McCook says he hopes to start an annual parade of homeless people, following his 30-pound cross. Of course, no one would dare suggest cutting up the wood and selling it for rent money....)

+ Alabama State Senator Ted Little told the Opelika-Auburn News he lobbies for state money for the private Lyman Ward Military Academy because it's the biggest employer in the town of Camp Hill. So why not go all the way up the chain of command, and ask Fort Benning to put some of the BRAC programs there?

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths returned home from the hockey playoffs - only to find a pipe for the Civic Center ice had burst. It's not clear whether a Friday night playoff game with Jacksonville could have been played. But part of me wonders if the Catfish are getting even, for all those drainage problems at Golden Park.

This blog has thousands of visitors each month, from people in Columbus and around the world. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 3574 (+ 112, 3.2%)

If you mention this blog in public, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-07 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.