11 APR 07: A CHOP OR A PLOP

So these guys are sitting at a nice restaurant, talking about meals that are even nicer. One man talks about spending 500 dollars somewhere for dinner. "It doesn't seem right to spend that much for one night, when you can build a deck in your yard that will last for 20 years."

The place where this comment was made won't quite set you back 500 dollars, but it comes across as upscale. Ben's Chop House opened at The Landings on Sidney Simons Boulevard last year, and quickly picked up two Reader's Choice awards from the Ledger-Enquirer. One was for "Fine Dining" - and with steaks costing as much as 35 dollars, that's pretty fine.

It's apparent right away that Ben's Chop House tries to be a local version of top-dollar big-city steak house chains, such as Ruth's Chris and Morton's Chicago. The tables are made with deep hardwoods - yet the walls have paintings which remind you more of an Uptown café. Maybe if enough people stop by, the wood panels will reach all the way to the ceiling.

"Good evening. My name is Leslie, and I'll be your server," said Rachel the server when I sat entered Ben's Chop House one evening last week.

"OK. My name is Richard, and I'll be your customer." I was all by myself, and that line came from an old boss at a radio station.

Leslie presented me with a menu - which is a switch from some big-city steak houses right there. And besides, it was on two sides of a long sheet of high-quality paper. Bludau's on Broadway would give you a padded menu book. Some top-dollar steak houses would give you none - because the servers know it all by heart.

There's a separate menu on the Ben's Chop House tables - the small "proprietor's menu." The main event there is your choice of a 12-ounce or 16-ounce prime steak, each costing $34.95. By comparison, I bought a seven-ounce sirloin tip steak on my own days later for less than $1.25 -- and it had hardly any fat. Thank you, Piggly Wiggly....

I decided against being a big spender on this evening, and looked for something economical. That's a polite big-city steak house way of saying "cheap," you know.

Why not a "Chop Steak" from a Chop House? I decided. It cost $15.95, and came with a side order and a salad. While I waited for the salad, I considered some of the restaurant's other amenities....

+ Little "grinders" at your table, with sea salt and pepper. The top-dollar restaurants have a member of the wait staff grind pepper on the salad for you - but I showed up at 5:30 p.m., perhaps before prime-time.

+ The side orders, which included "white cheddar grits." Yup, this certainly is a Southern restaurant.

+ The specials of the day, which were mentioned by the server - and also were written on a chalkboard near the front door. Ruth's Chris might have a chalkboard for the schedule in the kitchen, but nothing more.

Perhaps because it was twilight time, it didn't take long at all for the salad to come out. It wasn't all that unusual or different. It didn't even use some of the overpriced $1.99 heads of iceberg lettuce, which I'm seeing in supermarkets.

Leslie My Server promised me twice that the entree was coming, perhaps concerned that I was a single guy who had nothing to do while I waited. I'll take the blame for not bringing a magazine to read. I'll even give Ben's Chop House some credit, for not having a TV set over people's heads in the dining room.

In a few minutes, Leslie brought out the Chop Steak - meat covered with a tan herb and mushroom sauce. I was ready with Ben's steak knife, but quickly found the Chop Steak was quite tender. The sirloin tip steak I cooked at home was harder to cut - but then, I forgot I still have some meat tenderizer stashed in the pantry.

But at about the fourth bite, I realized something different - the Chop Steak was TOO tender. In fact, some would argue it was not even a steak at all. I had ground beef on my plate. The chef disguised it well with that mushroom sauce, but ground beef it was....

For $15.95 ($23 with a tip and soft drink), Ben's Chop House had given me what my late mother would have called a "Swiss steak" when I was a boy. Others would call it a hamburger steak. It was as if Indie's a couple of miles away had several left over from lunch.

This admittedly was a bit of a jolt - that an award-winning "fine dining" steak house would serve a ground beef steak, which cost 16 dollars at that. It didn't even promise the mushrooms in the sauce were Portobellos.

But this was a case where the side order I selected saved the dinner. Ben's Chop House served "burgundy button mushrooms" on the side -- and the plump mushrooms were tastefully bathed in burgundy wine. If I had gurgled down the sauce in the little bowl, I'm not sure I would have passed a breath test driving home.

I've dined at a Morton's in the heart of Manhattan, and a Ruth's Chris near the beach in San Juan. While Ben's Chop House seems desirous of emulating them, it still has a ways to go. Serving hamburger meat for the price of three "six-dollar burgers" from Hardee's does not help a restaurant's reputation....

But Ben's Chop House had some positive qualities, compared to the top-dollar steak houses. I was in and out the door in under an hour. It offered lighter options such as chicken, which I don't recall Morton's ever doing (although that was in the early 1990's). And it refuses to be so absurd, as to bring out large baked potatoes to let you hand-select one.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Tuesday's Instant Message of respectful decline was answered with a bit of a challenge:

Explain what Bloggers row is part of maybe?

This would help...other Bloggers ain't Skeered to post it!

If there's one sure way to force a blogger's hand, it's by suggesting he's a scaredy-cat.

So there's the link above, to a week of activities in Washington, to oppose special favors for illegal immigrants. It's called the "Amnesty Alamo" - although you have to wonder why Alamo Rent-A-Car isn't a participating sponsor.

Now that we've had some more disclosure, let's discuss some of Tuesday's top news items:

+ Columbus Council approved more of the paperwork, for the Columbus Housing Authority to begin renovating the Baker Village Apartments. One TV report indicated nearly 200 people already have been moved out of the complex. It did NOT say how many were gang members, who were moved to the county jail.

+ As your blog first reported last week, more charges were filed against the teen accused of shooting up Columbus Police cars. Jason Howell now is accused of burglarizing seven homes and 18 cars in the Midland area. That Wal-Mart SuperCenter may not have opened soon enough for him.

+ Lee County authorities charged Smiths Station High School teachers' aide Jamie Brock with stealing items from a student's purse. If this doesn't get the Alabama Education Association clamoring for a raise from the legislature, I don't know what will.

+ Lanett police accused Angela Robinson of robbing several homes from Prattville to LaGrange. Robinson works as a nurse, and a search of her home reportedly found ten different prescription medicines. I don't quite understand why this woman would want to match Anna Nicole Smith's record....

+ Instant Message to the Rutgers women's basketball team: I can understand why you're upset. But to call yourself "the best America has to offer" - uhhhh, didn't Tennessee beat you for the national championship last week?

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