27 DEC 06: DUDE, WHERE'S MY COW?

Shoppers driving to Peachtree Mall Tuesday must have been stunned - no, SHOCKED! They probably noticed something was missing on Manchester Expressway. Unless, that is, they didn't realize until now that B Merrell's has turned into a catfish restaurant.

The missing item was high above Peachtree Mall -- as one of the two cow statues outside the Best Buy store was gone. To borrow from that credit card commercial: customers were saying "boo!" But the staff said, "Mooo-vers."

Dana Taylor of Best Buy explained the calf called "B.B." was removed for a few weeks of repairs. Weeks?! After hearing this, I'm glad I didn't pay extra for that "Geek Squad" to work on the computer I bought in June.

Dana Taylor says B.B. has "a few cracks" which need fixing. Hopefully this is being done in an appropriate way - with a squeezable cheese product.

Assuming all goes well, B.B. will rejoin Kadie the cow in mid-January. Together they watch over Manchester Expressway, look over Interstate 185 - and have their backs turned on Peachtree Mall, so they don't have to see the pain of those seasonal kiosks closing.

If you're wondering what two cows are doing outside a Best Buy store, you're probably new to the area. Best Buy was built on a site which for decades was the Kinnett Dairy. Some people loved Kadie the cow so much, they demanded it stay on the property. But so far, no one has demanded Best Buy start selling milk.

Kinnett made such a big deal about Kadie that when the Commodores came to Columbus for a Tuskegee-Morehouse football weekend, they went to the cow and sang "Happy Birthday" to it. Imagine what could happen if Aflac ever erects a duck statue along Wynnton Road.

B.B. the "baby" was added after Kadie was removed for awhile. In fact, Kadie actually was stolen - and the cow's recovery brought many Columbus residents udder relief.

If you find it silly that so many Columbus residents are concerned about a cow - I see your point. It's not exactly a fancy work of art. But people scoff at that sort of thing around here. That's why sculptor Albert Paley's deal for a statue in front of the Columbus Public Library was reversed - but no one's griping about a model dinosaur in front of the Columbus Museum.

E-MAIL UPDATE: As Tim Reid said on WRBL's "Midday" Tuesday, the tributes are still pouring in....

I saw 2 great concerts in my college years and they were James Brown and James Brown...What a showman he was!

All I saw of James Brown were his TV appearances - and from some of those moves he made while singing, it's a wonder he didn't have a heart attack before last Sunday.

As we speculated Tuesday, James Brown is NOT having an ordinary death. A family attorney said Tuesday the "widow" locked out of the family home in South Carolina was NOT legally married to Brown - because she was still married to someone else when that wedding occurred. This doesn't seem right. It's more like a blues song, than something Brown would have sung.

But that widow responded by saying James Brown made sure that earlier "green card wedding" in Texas was annulled, before they were wed. At this rate, you almost want Brown's will to be opened on The Jerry Springer Show.

Funeral plans for James Brown were announced Tuesday night. His body will be available for public viewing Thursday at the Apollo Theatre in New York. But this leaves an important question unanswered. Can mourners rub that "good luck rock" before they see the casket?

To those of you I heard rewriting James Brown song titles Tuesday - shame on you. "Papa's Got a Brand New Body Bag" simply is NOT appropriate right now....

But to be honest, I rewrote one of James Brown's hits years ago. It came after a court trial, and instead of "Living in America" we had....

Living in a prison cell -

For eight years, with no probation!

Living in a prison cell -

Can't get out to tour the nation!

Living in a prison cell -

What a helpless situation! (Toot-toot-toot ta-toot)

But seriously: we learned right at post time of the death of former President Gerald Ford. He's the man Jimmy Carter defeated to become President in 1976 -- a time so long ago that I don't recall the candidates using a single attack ad on each other.

I covered a Gerald Ford news conference, when he visited Kansas City to support Republican candidates in 1980. I asked him about a religious magazine's cover story which asked: "Is This the Last Election?" Mr. Ford didn't think it was. And he turned out to be a more accurate prophet than some of the "prophetic trend" writers on the magazine's staff.

Now we move on to other Tuesday topics:

+ Which caller to WRCG's "TalkLine" declared Columbus needs an "authoritarian type of government?" This man sounded like he wants Jim Wetherington to practice some kicking in the next few days - to kick lazy city employees not simply out the door, but all the way to Recorder's Court.

+ The Russell County Commission met for the first time, since the Alabama Supreme Court ordered Ronnie Reed's removal. Probate Judge Al Howard admitted he was grateful to see Reed go, because his votes led to the county attorney's firing. So which commissioner would like to be first to wish Judge Howard farewell, in response?

(I tried to call Ronnie Reed at his home about the state Supreme Court's decision - but a recorded message said he does NOT take incoming calls. The home number of Phenix City's school superintendent is the same way. Maybe it's a telemarketing thing -- and I should try calling them from a phone booth inside the Phenix City limits.)

+ While several religious radio stations kept playing Christmas songs, WGSY "Sunny 100" went back to its usual music. In a way, that surprised me - because I thought it would act like some stores, and start playing non-stop love songs until Valentine's Day.

+ The Oklahoman newspaper reported several Alabama football players were spotted gambling inside Louisiana casinos, while preparing for the Independence Bowl in Shreveport. What do you think they're betting on - whether Nick Saban will take the head coaching job?

(Today marks one month since Mike Shula was fired as Alabama's head coach. The replacement rumor mill has grown very quiet -- as if officials are waiting for the basketball team to have a losing streak, so they can offer the job to Mark Gottfried.)

+ Instant Message to Hershey's: I bought two bags of your "Kissables" on "Choco-Fest Tuesday" at half-price. But about the colors of green, red and white - do you plan to bring these bags back for Cinco de Mayo?

2006 IN REVIEW CONTINUED: September dawned with a new tourist attraction in Columbus. The Ma Rainey home finally opened as a museum (really on August 31), after years of talk and renovation. But I haven't noticed many visitors there -- so where can we put a gift shop?

The Ledger-Enquirer embarrassed the Muscogee County School District in September, by revealing 2,700 textbooks needed replacing. The newspaper must have been disappointed when the school board did NOT approve 2,700 subscriptions in response.

Then a teacher at Forrest Road Elementary School was fired for slapping a student. This showed why teachers need those "training days" - to learn which end of the child to use for spankings.

The Auburn University Board of Trustees finally removed the "interim" from President Ed Richardson's title in September. Men's basketball coach Jeff Lebo should be thankful that word wasn't moved to him.

Residents along Cherokee Avenue in Columbus complained in September the new "rumble strips" put on the road to slow down speeders were too noisy. The strips were removed within days. It's only a matter of time before "SOA Watch" protesters move to Columbus South, and complain about Fort Benning's live fire exercises.

Ken Suddeth came out of hiding in September, as he was hired as Chattahoochee County's first police chief. He was out of that job by December - which reminds me: did the officers he hired ever return their badges?

The Phenix City Council approved a liquor license in September for Club Roc. The police chief warned against it - and the way things turned out, Brian McGarr now can follow Jim Wetherington's example and run for mayor.

Russell County Sheriff Tommy Boswell didn't get what he wanted, either. He asked commissioners in September for a 20-percent raise for his staff - and quickly was reminded the commission does not include any major league baseball owners.

But the Muscogee County Prison staff smiled in September, as it was named the top county correctional facility in Georgia. This apparently means only the highest-quality pinto beans are fed to the inmates each day.

The big political news of September came when Georgia's Governor announced the creation of an online "Sonny-Do" list. Is he finally going to read that list in January?! If so, it could be the longest inauguration speech in state history.

September was a month of endings. Swift Galey announced it would close both its plants. A controversial Internet café in Phenix City was shut down. And Columbus activist Lonnie Jackson died - so watch for TV coverage in January, as several groups clean up trash from his grave site.

The Northern Little League baseball "victory tour" went all over the place in September. The team went to metro Atlanta for tributes three times in eight days - which may be more often than the Columbus Chamber of Commerce sends lobbyists during the legislative session.

And that concludes today's look at.... what? You're saying I forgot something from September? I forgot how Power Frisbee of Georgia went bust, less than two weeks after it premiered? No, I haven't forgotten it. I can't, since GoDaddy keeps pleading with me to renew the Power Frisbee web site....

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