24 DEC 06: THE SILLIEST SEASON

"I think I'm getting some serious Christmas overload." So said a woman at a receptionist's desk on Veterans Parkway Friday afternoon. If the parkway could talk between Adams Farm Drive and Whittlesey Boulevard, it probably would say the same thing....

I overheard this woman talking about "Christmas overload" after enduring my first traffic jam around Columbus Park Crossing. It occurred around 1:45 p.m. Friday, which should not be afternoon rush hour. But from what I saw and what others told me this weekend, a lot of people had "Atlanta Friday" hours this weekend - and they hit the road extra early.

It took me 25 minutes to drive from Warm Springs and Miller Roads to B. Merrell's on Veterans Parkway. It didn't help that a three-car collision blocked a northbound lane of Veterans, causing everyone to drive around it. Which reminds me - whatever happened to the traffic alert boards the city promised us several months ago?

Without getting out of my car to conduct a survey, I assume most of the drivers in this jam were heading to the Columbus Park Crossing area for shopping. They tried to beat the Saturday rush - only to find everyone thought like they did, and created a Friday one.

The rush finally ends today, with the final hours of shopping for that day I don't keep [16 Dec]. WRBL reported some Peachtree Mall stores will open at 7:00 a.m. At least they've learned their lesson from Thanksgiving Friday, and are staying closed two extra hours in the morning.

If you still feel you have to buy one more gift, some places are proposing the most unusual things to appeal to your desperation....

+ A subscription to the Opelika-Auburn News. Put an old issue under your Chia Pet, to make it even more lifelike.

+ Columbus Cottonmouths tickets. It's a time for giving, after all - and did you see the Cottonmouths player give someone from Knoxville a head butt Saturday night, just like the World Cup?

+ Plastic surgery. Did you see the Columbus woman on the news, who actually asked her husband for implants - to go from an A-cup to a C-cup? [True/WRBL] I suppose it beats a coffee cup, with a Santa Claus picture on it.

While it certainly is a season for giving, it also seems to be a season for making sure your giving gets noticed. For instance, St. Francis Hospital made the TV news the other day for making a delivery of 300 gift bags to the House of Mercy. If I want to deliver a bag of food, maybe I should make an appointment first - not with the House of Mercy, but with a TV photographer.

Another example of this came Saturday, as a gift bag handout by Words of Wisdom Christian Center wound up on the evening news. This is something I suspect many local churches do -- but I know from experience that some of them want media attention when they do it. They seem to forget that line in the Bible about not letting your other hand know what you're doing, when you give.

Perhaps the ministries which announce their handouts with news releases are simply trying to spread the word that free stuff is available. But Friday's canned good collection in the Uptown Business Improvement District made the evening news, too. It reminds me of a children's story -- where the boy happened to eat Christmas pie as he announced to all, "What a good boy am I."

Some final thoughts about the final weekend of the race against the clock:

+ Isn't it only a matter of time before the city has to widen Veterans Parkway to six lanes, around Columbus Park Crossing? Manchester Expressway already is extra-wide, in front of Peachtree Mall - and it can't possibly be because Bill Heard lobbied for extra "test drive" lanes.

+ The woman at the reception desk with "Christmas overload" was dealing with WGSY "Sunny 100" playing non-stop Christmas songs. There are alternatives on the radio dial - and weary shoppers might appreciate Clark Howard on WRCG warning them about scams.

+ Instant Message to El Zapata on Veterans Parkway, south of the traffic jam: At least you're looking past this season of the year. I mean, that IS why your sign along the road talks about Cinco de Mayo, right?

E-MAIL UPDATE: The people who aren't out shopping must be at their computers, because we have a stack of messages this weekend. First up: someone we mentioned here Friday....

Hi Richard,

I hope things are going well for you. Thanks for the mention in this morning's blog. Actually, NEXT Thursday will be my last day anchoring at WRBL. Yesterday was my last day co-anchoring with Creshon Saunders. She just wanted to do a little "good bye" to me since she won't be here for my actual last day. I guess I should have made that a bit clearer on yesterday evening's newscast. So, for better or worse, Columbus is stuck with me for a few more days.

Even though I'm headed to Virginia , I'll still keep up with your blog. It's one of my first online destinations each day. Keep up the good work, sir. There are many of us out there who appreciate it.

Take care,

Blaine

Blaine Stewart

News Anchor/Senior Producer

WRBL News 3

Thanks for the clarification - and that explains why I saw Blaine Stewart at the anchor desk for "News 3 Midday" Friday. I didn't wait for the end, though - to see if Harmony Mendoza also presented Stewart with an autographed picture of himself.

Speaking of WRBL's programming....

Hello,

I just wanted to give a little reminder that the 48 Hours show profiling the murder of Richard Davis will air again tonight (Saturday 12-23-06). I would have wrote sooner but I just found out today myself. Cilla returned my call and when I told her the rumors that the character Charlize Theron is playing in the movie is being modeled after her, she wouldn't answer one way or the other. She just laughed about it and reminded me the movie is fictional. But she did tell me that people should pay close attention to the part of the 48 Hours episode that shows Jacob Burgoyne's medical records.

Merry Christmas,

JB

I knew this program was coming last weekend, because CBS mentioned it at the end of "48 Hours." But I didn't mention it here, because it didn't appear to be the updated version we've been told is in the works. And it certainly didn't have any clips with Charlize Theron, not even playing Erin Moriarty.

I saw this e-mail before "48 Hours" came on the air, so I indeed paid close attention to the section showing manslaughter convict Jacob Burgoyne's medical records -- even snapping vidcaps of the pages. This may be the strangest way around a "Freedom of Information Act" request I've ever tried.

I'm not sure what medical record author Cilla McCain wants us to check. Perhaps it's the diagnosis section showing Jacob Burgoyne had post-traumatic stress disorder, but recommending he return to duty if he's "monitored at all times." I'm not sure if any of his buddies at Hooters qualified, by outranking him.

But a second look at this hour left me wondering something. If Richard Davis was stabbed by fellow Fort Benning soldiers in their car on that deadly night, wouldn't police have found some blood stains to present as evidence? Admittedly the arrests came months after the crime -- but I'd doubt soldiers would keep the inside of their cars as spotless as their uniforms.

Now we move from TV to radio....

It would seem the Columbus station broadcasting on 1580 AM has gone from sports talk to the "All PSA" format. Saturday afternoon, at a time when one would normally hear ESPN Radio on that station, all that could be heard was one PSA after another. This apparently went on for hours, leading one to wonder if anyone at all was listening. You would think someone would at least wake up whoever is minding the station with a phone call!

I have my doubts this kind of programming (or lack of) will help their listenership.

K. S.

You'll be happy to know things were back to normal Saturday night -- so I was able to hear the closing minutes of San Jose State beating New Mexico in the "New Mexico Bowl." You're a truly desperate football fan when you're listening to that game in your car.

Perhaps WEAM-AM had trouble switching from regular ESPN Radio programming to Saturday's tripleheader of college bowl games. Or perhaps the staff simply couldn't believe a woman was doing play-by-play of the first game, from Birmingham.

I've heard WEAM-AM broadcast non-stop public service announcements (PSA's) before. It was after midnight one night - and I wasn't sure if the network line was down, or the station was trying to meet a quota of community service programming.

Speaking of bowl games - how about Troy! The Trojans scorched Rice 41-17 in the New Orleans Bowl. But watching the highlights Saturday night, I couldn't help noticing the upper deck of the Superdome was empty. If Columbus had this bowl game, things would be different - especially if Fort Valley State was invited to play every couple of years.

Our last e-mail makes us long for the good old days, when we wrote about world topics for a national audience:

How come all the Celebrities are not sneaking on aircraft this Christmas to hold shows for the Ones serving in the War,, The War is still on - right..

Are the Troops that are over there now not important as the ones that were there in the Begining?

Now hold on a minute - maybe they're "sneaking on aircraft" and not telling you they're going. That's kind of what "sneaking" is about, you know. Don't you remember how Bob Hope used to have his TV "Christmas special" sometime in February, after he returned home?

I wondered if this e-mail was accurate, so I went to the source authority of celebrity information. An article posted by "The Insider" way back in August said Lindsay Lohan wanted to go to Iraq. Maybe she could share a few beers with the soldiers -- as long as they drive her back to the airport.

(Would it really be a good idea for Lindsay Lohan to travel to Iraq? We wouldn't want all the paparazzi following her to come under attack from insurgents, because.... well, then again, let me rethink this....)

A check of Google news found country singer Carrie Underwood plans a Persian Gulf trip sometime this winter. The article notes the exact date is NOT being announced, due to security concerns. If you're going to sing "Jesus Take the Wheel" near some radical Muslims, you have to do it very carefully.

To be honest, no one's asked me to go on a trip overseas to entertain military personnel. I'd happily go if they asked - and maybe crack a joke about how if Muslim insurgents conquered the U.S., we'd have to listen to "Sunni 100 FM."

2006 IN REVIEW CONTINUED: June was the month for Family Day in the Park -- but this year a rumble developed after the event, which closed stores at Peachtree Mall. Next year, let's try to book the Bradley Theater downtown for that "after-party."

Months of debate about city employee pay were settled in June, when Columbus Council approved a budget. It set a "three-tier" system of raises - but by December, the mayor and a Councilor were the ones in tiers tears.

Rumors abounded in June that Columbus city employees might stage a sickout, over the budget situation. And who knows - maybe one of them sent the mysterious white powder, which caused a partial evacuation one day.

June was primary time in Alabama - and the results in the governor's races were lopsided. It's a wonder Don Siegelman didn't call Roy Moore afterward, and ask for prayer about his federal trial.

The National Infantry Museum held a "start of construction" ceremony in June - 21 months after holding its groundbreaking ceremony. At this pace, the museum might be ready to mark the 100^th anniversary of Veterans Day. That's November 11, 2018.

The city of Columbus held a week-long celebration in June, marking ten years since Olympic softball was played at Golden Park. But the last time I checked, the book with a directory for finding your personally-named brick was still missing.

Continental Carbon had several days of public relations sessions in June, trying to convince local leaders it's really a nice place. When they come over with a pressure washer and clean the black soot stains off my car, I'll believe it.

The temperature soared to 100 degrees F. in June - high enough to make the Columbus Museum's air conditioner break down. I expect you'll be able to see that old unit in a historical collection, debuting sometime next year....

The company which owns WRBL and the Opelika-Auburn News bought the Eufaula Tribune in June. But I don't get it - why isn't Teresa Whitaker's picture on the newspaper's web site yet?

Legal news was big at the end of June. Former Alabama Governor Don Siegelman was convicted on several counts. A complaint against the outgoing Columbus Mayor and former City Manager was dismissed by the Georgia Ethics Commission. But federal Judge J. Robert Elliott died before these decisions were announced - showing the meaning of "speedy trial" has been lost.

The end of June also brought published rumors about financial problems with the Chattahoochee Valley Vipers indoor football team. Your blog called the league president, who told us he'd heard nothing about coaches and players not being paid. If only we had thought to ask about the Civic Center's staff....

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