4 APR 06: BOOKS A DOZEN

So how did you do Monday, using the telephone? Did you dial ten digits for local Columbus calls - or did you forget a time or two, and blame it on your body clock still switching to daylight time?

Even a plugged-in guy like WFXE-FM "Foxie 105's" Michael Soul admitted he got caught trying to make a phone call with seven digits Monday. I figured he would know the 4-1-1 on the 7-0-6....

Several things were NOT changed in time for ten-digit dialing, and may not be adjusted for as much as a year. I'm talking about the various Columbus phone books. You'll have to add to all the listings on your own - so is it possible to have a three-digit "speed dial" to save some of the stress?

Have you noticed how many different phone books are being promoted in Columbus these days? I saw a commercial Monday evening promoting "The Real Yellow Pages" - the one BellSouth publishes. It almost leads me to wonder if the white pages are fake....

BellSouth used to have the one and only phone book, but competitors have come along in recent years. You may have see the ads promoting a new "Yellow Book," with a "Y-B-Yellow" phone number. That's my question exactly - why be yellow, when the pages can be light blue or green?

Then there's the "Mini-Book" published by a company on Fortson Road. It's smaller than your usual phone book, and
billed as perfect for your car. Isn't this reassuring? Drivers look down to thumb through the pages with one hand, while holding their cell phone with the other.

The publishers of the Mini-Book promise something new this spring - a "Mega-Book." Ads promise the listings will be in "huge print." That will be nice for older people with vision problems - if the book isn't too heavy to carry to the living room phone.

Perhaps the biggest competition for BellSouth's Yellow Pages is the phone book TransWestern Publishing prints. It's been delivered to my home for several years - but I pity attorney Mark Casto. His photo on the current back cover is perfect for doodling, while callers are on hold.

So why are there so many phone books? They all seem to compete for the same thing - advertising in the yellow business pages. And in an era of multiple phones in homes, each company can have a room all by itself to avoid direct collisions.

BellSouth's new ad campaign is designed to keep advertisers from running to those other phone books. The ads claim businesses get the most results from "The Real Yellow Pages." But could that be because most people can't tell the real from an imitation -- sort of like putting cups of Starbucks and Denny's coffee side-by-side?

BellSouth's competition look for other points to give their yellow listings a sales advantage. The Mini-Book boasts of "over $1,000 in coupons." That may be nice for families - but for single guys in apartments like me, I really don't need $100 off on aluminum siding.

The Mini-Book also may be the only phone book in town you have to buy. The flyer I have indicates it costs $14.95 - for a book so small, it might fly out your car window on a windy day.

My computer room has two current Columbus phone books - the ones from BellSouth and TransWestern. They're stacked on top of each other, so neither one really has an edge. But I tend to lean toward BellSouth, since it actually is the phone company. For all I know, TransWestern may spend 11 months a year selling life insurance.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Spring cleaning of the InBox continues now, with a reply to last week's vent [31 Mar] about Columbus High School:

I honestly do not understand the antagonism of some towards Columbus High. Muscogee County students are offered an opportunity to attend the best public high school in the state; what's the harm in that? The curriculum at CHS is probably more rigorous than at other schools, but only hard work and motivation are needed to complete it. Entrance is predicated on passing an (easy) pre-algebra test, writing an essay, and other soft factors.

As far as I know, Columbus High gets very little supplemental funding, maybe enough to pay for an administrator. That they offer so many advanced courses is because they have the students who are qualified and willing to enroll in them. If the academically talented were uniformly distributed among the schools, each school would not have the resources to provide such a curriculum, and consequently the students would lose.

The students of average means would lose; the affluent would send their kids to Brookstone instead.

Before complaining that CHS is not overcrowded, consider that just 10 years ago, it was in danger of losing SACS accreditation due to the leaky roof. For years after the roof was repaired, it had moldy, rippled carpets and missing and damaged ceiling tiles. Termites were known to swarm in the rear wing, and the school had several trailer classrooms. The students (and faculty) are what made the Magnet successful, not an extravagant facility.

Thomas

I think I know what's behind the antagonism, Thomas. It's a basic fact of life in classrooms. Some teachers in the Muscogee County School District think Columbus High is the school board's pet -- though a pet Devil sounds strange.

Maybe some people have forgotten the poor building conditions of Columbus High in the 1990's. Of course, all they have to do is walk up the hill to parts of Wynnton Elementary today....

(I never realized Columbus High School had all those building problems a few years ago. If Coach Ashley Powell had known that, she might have been thankful for her closet office at another school and never filed that lawsuit.)

Now to the Kia critics in Troup County - and buckle the seat belt tightly for this one:

The simple fact that any of these backwoods out-of-work mill workers are complaining is only a testament to the entire mentality of that region. I am concerned, as I think others are about the labor pool in Lagrunge embarassing us. having employeed many people while I was in Lagrange, I have a first hand experience with the degenerates of that waste of land and air. These people collectively are amoung the most under educated ,rude and common sensically challenged mouth breathing neanderthals that iI have ever had the misfourtne of encountering. Don't just take my ranting though. Consider some once researched numbers. LaGrange. Troup county has the 2nd highest teen pregnancy and drop out rates in the state. It ranks an astounding 3rd in std's . yeah there is only 40,000 people county wide as of census 2000. Since that time more than 70 businesses in cluding 17 plants have either closed or downsized. Yet, these citizens portray an aire of conceit only matched by thier infinite ignorance that a world exist outside of TRAP county. So to all my friends whom are confused on this matter go to LaGrunge and talk to 5 people, If their combined I Q appears to be over colds room temperature....

Well now, ahem - it's always good to hear from members of the Columbus Chamber of Commerce....

I haven't made many trips to LaGrange over the years, but I didn't really consider the city backwards. I'd point out one advantage that city has right away - but you're probably tired of me wishing for a Columbus Kroger store.

And isn't LaGrange the city which became a pioneer of Internet access a few years ago? Who knows how much residents have learned about the world since then. But sadly, they can't learn much about their own city - since the LaGrange Daily News web site is only for paid subscribers.

By the way, have you seen all the Korean-language signs popping up in the West Point-Valley area? There's talk of offering Korean classes in area schools - so the workers who don't get jobs at Kia may open Asian restaurants all around the plant.

The e-mail pile may be cleared tomorrow -- but now let's get caught up on other things we've missed in the last couple of days:

+ Columbus Doctor Eric Buffong agreed to a rape case plea bargain, and pleaded no contest to two sexual battery counts. Buffong will avoid prison, serve two years on probation - and why do I have this strange feeling he'll show up on a radio talk show as a "Love Doctor?"

(The unnamed woman Eric Buffong is accused of raping in his office was outraged by the plea bargain. But prosecutors admit they lacked convincing evidence that Buffong forced his way upon her. Maybe it's time to demand security cameras in medical waiting rooms.)

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported six business responded to the Columbus Civic Center's offer to buy naming rights - but all six turned down the $60,000 a year cost. If the price comes down a little, the right taker could come. And I can't wait to visit the "Cascade Hills Church Sportatorium South."

(Come to think of it, Columbus, Ohio has a "Value City Arena." That name could apply to the bidding process here, too....)

+ The new "Fortune 500" listings showed AFLAC up seven places from last year, to number 151 among major corporations. Its profits were up 14 percent last year - so when did this company start selling gasoline?

+ Auburn University legend Charles Barkley was named to the Basketball Hall of Fame. Thankfully, we don't have to worry about this inflating Barkley's ego - because that reached capacity a long time ago.

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