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6 MAY 04: MUCH 2 MUCH

It was only a matter of time - and Wednesday afternoon on Macon Road, there it was: a Columbus gas station with a price above two dollars a gallon. And sadly, the price was NOT for cigarettes....

The Chevron station near Cross-Country Plaza was the first one I've seen in this area with a two-dollar gas price. It's only for the high-octane premium unleaded - the kind used by AFLAC executives up the road, with both fuel and money to burn.

As gas prices approach two dollars a gallon, does this settle the debate that raged last year about U.S. intervention in Iraq? If it was only a "war about oil," it apparently failed - because the price should have gone down by now.

Do these higher prices explain why the "Summit" name is replacing "Money Back" on several convenience stores, such as on Buena Vista and South Lumpkin Roads? At two bucks a gallon, getting real money back is more and more unlikely.

At times like these, I'm thankful I have three major credit cards connected to oil companies such as BP and Exxon. Every time I use the cards, I earn rebate points for free gas. And these days, I hide the "free gas" cards at home about as carefully as I do the travelers checks.

I've had these gas-rebate credit cards for several years. But because of card company and bank mergers, I've wound up with two lookalike BP cards. One is for personal use, the other is for business - and now if they would lower my anxiety level, by having the same due dates....

I mentioned the other day [2 May] that I'm trying to reduce my driving, to save on gas costs. But a problem is developing with this plan -- suddenly my next-door neighbor needs me to drive her on errands two or three times a week. Maybe it would be easier to have no car at all.

Wednesday's travel plan was for my neighbor to go to a "money store" near I-185, then visit the landlord to pay her rent. But the landlord's office is closed on Wednesdays, and my neighbor did NOT feel comfortable leaving an envelope of money in a slot near the door. For some reason, she's more comfortable handing me dollar bills as I drive down Macon Road.

We went to the "money store" anyway. Then on the way home, my neighbor gave in to her urge and had me take a grocery store side trip for a pint of ice cream. When females do this, it's a "woman's prerogative" - but for some reason, males who do this have commitment problems.

Even when she had a job, my retired neighbor never seemed to be a fan of METRA buses. She'd ask me to drive her to work on rainy mornings downtown - even after I gave her an umbrella for the bus stop.

BLOG UPDATE: Speaking of my next-door neighbor, she told me Wednesday she's been unable to dial the Medicare phone number I gave her. I could have the final letter off 1-800-MEDICARE - but then she wouldn't have known how to spell it correctly.

Now other appetizers from the mid-week menu:

+ Retiring Rep. Tom Buck received a farewell tribute on the Georgia House floor. In fact, several lawmakers dressed like Buck and wore blue blazers. [True/GPB Radio] These politicians must want his Appropriations Committee Chair job in the
WORST way....

+ Televised reports indicated the U.S. Education Department is investigating the Teenage Parenting Center. The question is whether Muscogee County Schools discriminate, by only including expectant mothers. After what happened with a
Hardaway High senior, perhaps the issue should be whether it discriminates against girls who don't threaten lawsuits.

+ Law officers told WRBL the death rate seems to be down on the parts of U.S. 431 which have been widened to four lanes. Now there's the evidence we've been waiting for! Call Rep. Terry Everett in Washington and tell him he can find the money for six or eight lanes, we might name the highway after him.

(Some law officers actually said the problem on U.S. 431 isn't the highway - it's bad driving. Maybe if they left wrecked cars along the side of the road, instead of those crosses....)

+ The Columbus Museum held a Cinco de Mayo membership drive, by giving away "breakfast burritos" to people who drove by and pledged to become members. No, I did NOT take advantage of this offer. The burritos were too well-wrapped, so I couldn't see what was lurking inside.

+ WRCG-AM unveiled its new slogan: "Two-Way Radio." There's an obvious reason why this is limited to two-way. Bill O"Reilly would object to any threesomes.

(If you think about it, aren't ALL radio stations "two-way?" You can sing along to your favorite song....)

+ Instant Message to the woman wearing the orange sports shirt just inside the entrance to Golden Park: I was NOT looking at you because I wanted to sneak into the baseball game. I simply was trying to confirm if you had a mullet haircut.

COMING FRIDAY: What I am, and what people think I am....

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