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25 MAY 04: A PUGH-DUNNIT
Tillman Pugh clearly is on a mission - well, make that two missions. For one thing, the Russell County Commissioner wants to know who assaulted him earlier this year. For another thing, he wants to wear his "Pugh for Commissioner" election badge in front of every TV camera he can find.
Tillman Pugh revealed Monday he's getting a surveillance tape digitally enhanced, so he can find whoever attacked him in January. Mr. Pugh said this with a re-election sticker on his shirt Monday -- one his opponents for Russell County Commissioner next week probably wish had been digitally blurred.
WRBL played the original surveillance tape from the Phenix City Wal-Mart Monday night. Tillman Pugh says it shows two men wearing white caps going inside -- the men who later assaulted him. How sneaky of these criminals! They know how regular Wal-Mart customers think -- that only good guys wear white hats.
The surveillance tape from Wal-Mart also shows an outdoor camera view of a red pickup truck circling the parking lot. On most weekends, this would be no big deal - since good parking spaces don't open up at Wal-Mart very often....
Commissioner Tillman Pugh recalls the driver of the red pickup stared at him January 25, as the two men wearing white caps assaulted him. Pugh said the attackers "cracked my cranium" - and somewhere, Jerry Laquire wrote down that phrase to use on future talk show callers.
Tillman Pugh says what happened to him in late January was NOT a random attack, and he was a definite target. You have to give the County Commissioner credit for one thing - in four months, he hasn't blamed this attack on Administrator LeeAnn Horne-Jordan even once.
Tillman Pugh says he's sending the surveillance tape to New York, and will spend as much as $2,000 to have it digitally enhanced. I don't want to say I'm old, but I can remember when "digital enhancement" meant a trip to a nail salon.
In addition, Tillman Pugh is offering a $2,500 reward for information about whoever attacked him in late January. But who would have noticed two men in white caps inside a Wal-Mart store -- especially if they didn't have a loud, whining baby with them?
I do hope Tillman Pugh finds the attackers, and they get what's coming to them. But I'm sorry -- something inside me says Monday's TV appearance smells of campaign politics. For one thing, next Tuesday is the Alabama Primary. For another thing, Wal-Mart didn't wait four months to release tape of that Indiana mom shaking her daughter.
I'm reminded of a joke the late Atlanta radio preacher Mays Jackson told, as his wife asked where he wanted to be buried. "Put me on the lawn in front of the Wal-Mart store," Jackson said. His puzzled wife obviously asked why. "That way, I'll know you'll come to see me at least twice a week."
Here's what else we noted on Victoria Day 2004 -- and how many people did I stump with that Canadian holiday....
+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue visited Fort Benning, and declared Georgia a "very patriotic state." Excuse me - but which of the 50 states is NOT? I haven't heard one of them talk about seceding lately.
+ U.S. Senate candidate Johnny Isakson unveiled a new TV commercial, in which people praise him for teaching Sunday School for nearly 30 years. So does this mean if he's elected to the Senate, he'll try to convert Joseph Lieberman away from Judaism?
+ Wireless phone numbers in the Columbus area became "portable," from one company to another. What IS the big deal about this? I see people with portable numbers all the time -- walking out of convenience stores with lottery tickets.
+ Instant Message to Columbus and Hardaway High Schools: You ARE being nice to the senior baseball players in today's quarterfinals, aren't you? I mean, you're not withholding their diplomas until the playoffs end?!
SONG OF THE DAY: Public radio's "All Things Considered" truly lived up to its name Monday, as it marked the 50th anniversary of the Roto-Rooter jingle. Isn't it time to put new, modern words on this -- while still keeping that old accordian?
Click It or Ticket - act today!
Better buckle up, or you're gonna pay!
Click It or Ticket! (Doot.) (The accordian chord.)
Or we can make it fit Columbus election-year politics....
Vote Bobby Peters - for court judge,
And give that woman on the bench a nudge!
Bobby Peters! (Doot.)
COMING THIS WEEK: Can I resist doing something until Memorial Day weekend? Must.... try....
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