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14 MAY 04: BETTER LATE?

Puddles formed on the lawn in front of my apartment Thursday, thanks to three different rounds of rain. I hope this trend continues - because those puddles are the closest thing my complex has to a swimming pool.

My pastor just returned from a road trip to Cincinnati - and he told our congregation from Tennessee north, everything was "green and lush." But in Georgia, the landscape was dry. Now why should this be? Surely God knows we're putting a constitutional amendment about marriage on the ballot....

We really shouldn't complain about rain coming now, after weeks of dry weather. It saves homeowners money, in terms of watering the lawn - money they need for expensive gasoline, to mow the lawn.

An old phrase comes to mind from the rain -- "better late than never." But is that saying really true? My late mother's last job was with the Internal Revenue Service - and I never thought to ask if the I.R.S. agreed with that statement.

(If you saw the amazing ending of the Lakers-Spurs basketball playoff game Thursday night, maybe you'll agree this phrase needs revision. "Better late - but even better, two-tenths of a second later.")

I've been thinking about lateness lately for several reasons. A ballcap finally came in the mail this week - one I earned in a Pepsi bottle "Caps for Caps" promotion during the last N.F.L. season. Maybe this is a sneaky stunt to get me to buy Falcons season tickets.

It had been four months since I sent my matching caps to Pepsi for a hat, so I forgot which team logo I wanted. Only now as I open the bag do I remember - my hometown Kansas City Chiefs. But the hat is so gray that I can disguise it in other cities with duct tape.

To Pepsi's credit, the company mailed me a card in March explaining there was a hat delay due to "overwhelming demand." So? There never seems to be a shortage of cola in the summer....

The hat's arrival leaves one late-arriving item still out - a ten-dollar rebate check from OfficeMax. I bought a new speaker-phone on sale March 4 for ten dollars. With the rebate, I'd technically pay nothing but sales tax for it -- but sadly, OfficeMax is being as slow as some of its counter help on Macon Road.

The receipt with the speaker phone told me to send my rebate request to an OfficeMax, uh, office in El Paso, Texas. For all I know, someone could have taken that ten bucks across the border to Juarez, Mexico and bought cheap prescription drugs with it.

One thing I made sure NOT to file late Thursday is the check to renew my auto insurance. Georgia's cracking down on people who drive without a paid-up policy. Officials have revised a different saying: "a day late, 25 dollars short."

Georgia will fine you 25 bucks automatically if your car insurance lapses, even for one day. But what if I realize the payment is late, and I leave the car parked until it's paid? This rule seems unfair to me - and puts a wrong twist on possession being nine-tenths of the law.

Now for some other late entries that come to my mind Thursday night:

+ Republicans from across Georgia arrived in Columbus for this weekend's state convention. I passed one man on Front Avenue, preparing to post a "Crotts for Congress" yard sign in front of the Wyndham Hotel. I'll start the pool on this - and predict it will be gone Tuesday morning.

+ Two adults on bicycles passed me on the sidewalk on Broadway - just ahead of a mega-motorcycle with three big wheels. C'mon folks, we CAN share the same road....

+ Columbus State University's baseball team won its opening game of the NCAA playoffs, beating Pfeiffer College 9-6. When it was over, I was left puzzled - as to why Pfeiffer doesn't spell its "Falcons" nickname with a P.

+ Instant Message to Millie's Corner on South Lumpkin Road: Thank you for deciding to have "Customer Appreciation Day" this Sunday. By moving this outdoor event from chilly December to mid-May, you finally ARE showing appreciation to your customers.

COMING THIS WEEKEND: Will that beggar downtown named Patrick remember to meet us for a ride to church? We plan to wait for him....

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