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3 MAY 04: TAKE A CHANCE ON ME

The weekend rain is very welcome after several dry weeks - but for a runner like me, it means a change of plans. Friday evening, I drove to the St. Luke Ministry Center to avoid running in the rain. Of course, that STILL meant running in the rain -- between my car and the alcove.

On most Fridays, I'd have no trouble running on the small track in the St. Luke gym -- but this Friday was different. A youth basketball tournament was in the gym for the weekend, and the only way in was with a ticket. I need to make a universal "Blog Press Pass" for occasions like this....

So what was a runner to do with a downpour outside, and a closed gym inside. SSSSHHHH - don't tell anybody, but I went downstairs and jogged some laps in the LOWER level of the Ministry Center. The main hall was arranged with chairs for a worship service. But I didn't come close to knocking over a cross or a Bible.

Having gained some exercise without anybody in the Ministry Center seeing me (unless there's a hidden surveillance camera somewhere), I stepped outside to hurry back to my rain-soaked car. But then something strange happened.

"Excuse me? Excuse me?" A thin man came out the door behind me. I'm guessing he was involved in the basketball tournament. Was he looking for a guest referee?

I turned back to the man, and he said, "How're you doing?" You can probably guess what went through my mind - the second beggar in as many evenings. [30 Apr] You'd think inside the church building, he'd find plenty of charity.

What would YOU say to a man who interrupted like this? I thought for a second and said, "I'm physically OK."

Pause, for a couple of seconds.

"OK, good to see you. Have a nice day." I said that to the man, then turned to walk down the alcove to my car. The man turned and went back inside the Ministry Center. Maybe he was on the greeting team, and had a quota to meet.

Perhaps this man was waiting for four little words from me to make his pitch: "Can I help you?" But why would he need my help, when dozens of people are up one floor at a basketball tournament in a church? The St. Luke's staff probably could find a spare collection plate in a closet for him.

While I mulled things over inside the Ministry Center, I noticed a sign on a bulletin board for a St. Luke's "Singles Event" Sunday evening. It promised worship music, fellowship time and a minister. The obvious question is which one the singles attending would emphasize - and what God would want them to emphasize.

After pondering it carefully, I decided to attend Sunday night's Singles Event. SSHHHH again - the church I attend discourages people from dating outside the denomination. As I told the minister after the event, going to a worship service with totally unknown Christians was a walk on the wild side for me.

(Besides, I felt I owed something to St. Luke for using their gym over the last few months. But much to my surprise, they never even asked for an offering.)

A far-from-capacity crowd of about 50 people attended the Singles Event in the St. Luke Ministry Center. Much of the program consisted of music by the Lighthouse Praise Band. Their goal was to move us to worship - but sad to say, I've seen livelier audiences at T-ball games.

(I don't mean to say this audience was dead - but when the praise band sang a song with the line, "I am the cold," I was the only one who applied those words to the rest of us.)

Maybe the audience of singles was surprised by one or two of the praise band's songs. They did Joan Osborne's hit "One of Us" - and personally, I do NOT think God is a slob. Other people created landfills....

After about 40 minutes, St. Luke Associate Pastor Kevin Hudson got up to speak. He's a young single man who made some good Christian points - but it soon became clear that I was in a room full of United Methodists. That's because I was the only one following along with a Bible, and taking notes.

When the 70-minute service ended, I determined I was the only person in the audience wearing a necktie - and about the only person who clapped hands and sang along with some of the praise band's music. So I was the most liberal AND the most conservative worshipper, at the same time....

As we chatted with some of the other singles over snacks after the service, I began to understand why this group might be so reserved. "When you go through a divorce, you come away damaged," one woman told me. As a never-married man, perhaps it's better to feel merely bruised.

When I told one woman I'd never been married, she seemed stunned. "You are a very rare breed," she said. Yeah, I noticed - as all the other single women seemed older or younger than I.

I should note not everyone in the Ministry Center was single. A couple named Jairo and Ivelisse put "unavailable" on their name tags. To which I told Ivelisse, "Hello, Ms. Unavailable. My name's Richard...."

Jairo related to us that the new Spanish-language service at St. Luke United Methodist is having trouble gaining a consistent following. One week 20 people show up, and the next week only eight do. Maybe it depends on how big Univision's Mexican soccer match is.

Plenty of snacks remained as the last few singles departed the Ministry Center. I wound up taking home a couple of big tasty brownies - which I guess is the story of my life, because I didn't take home any single women.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION: There was no clear winner in our poll about where to find the best doughnut in Columbus, but there was one surprise. "Veri Best Donuts" tied for first -- the small stands scattered around town, which never do any advertising. I've never stopped there, since they tend to be closed when I'm in a doughnut mood. Say, around 8:00 p.m.

Veri Best tied for "best doughnut" in our question with Golden Donuts, Krispy Kreme -- and thanks to a last-minute vote Sunday, Dunkin Donuts. The Manchester Expressway shop almost received no votes at all. And that may explain why it emphasizes coffee so much these days.

I must admit I've grown weary of Dunkin Donuts, primarily because its prices are so high. A dozen doughnuts now cost more than five dollars, and the place is taking credit cards! If they're going to get this expensive, be like McDonald's and start selling steak bagels....

Now other items from a somewhat sticky Sunday:

+ The preacher on the Holsey Chapel C.M.E. Church broadcast on WOKS had to stop his sermon, "so I can marinade a minute." Well, having a cookout during the church service WOULD save some time....

+ The Ledger-Enquirer climbed aboard a freight train, and illustrated how some drivers barely get across the tracks before there's a collision. Why ESPN hasn't made train-racing an "X Games" sport, I have no idea.

+ Instant Message to Troy - uh - Troy University Public Radio: I noticed you're already starting to change your name away from "Troy STATE Public Radio." But what are you going to do about that station in Troy? Take out the "S" and make it W-T-U?

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