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25 OCT 04: A C.D. SITUATION

For some unknown reason, a man decided to throw away a compact disc at the church I attend this weekend. After he did it, I reminded him people in the Bible burned such things....

The man tossed the C.D. in a trash can at the back of our hall -- and it shattered in several pieces, around several members. This man sings solos from time to time, so I couldn't help thinking of the old "Laugh-In" line about a record-breaking performance.

Then a boy in our congregation made an unusual suggestion. "He should put it in the microwave." Huh?! I don't think the turntables move quite fast enough to play compact discs.....

This boy knew the metallic content of the C.D. would cause it to disintegrate. He wanted to see it break in a thousand pieces. This reminded me of a minister in Oklahoma 20 years ago, who warned us against watching the microwave oven scene in the movie "Gremlins."

"Of course, you might have to clean up the microwave," I reminded the boy.

"No, that wouldn't be fun," he admitted. But after a compact disc disintegrated, at least the inside of the microwave wouldn't have that plain white look.

"It almost sounds like you've tried this," I suggested to the boy about putting a C.D. in the microwave.

"No, I haven't," he replied. "I saw it on TV." One of those quality programs on Spike TV, no doubt....

"But I'd like to," the boy added. He's a typical boy, I suppose - wanting to watch a compact disc melt down in a microwave. Perhaps I should sell him one of my CD's. At least I'd get the money from the sale.

My house really doesn't have a big CD collection. In fact, the majority of my discs come in the mail without my asking for it - from companies such as AOL and Earthlink.

(I may have mentioned here before what I ultimately plan to do with all those CD-ROMS from America Online. They'll make a truly unique set of coasters.)

Now let's unplug the headphones and check other things which crossed our ears and brain on Sunday:

CORRECTION: + Loachapoka, Alabama will hold its annual "Syrup-Soppin' Days" Saturday, October 30. I guess this is the Southern way of doing things. When I was a boy, I gulped down the leftover maple syrup from Sunday morning pancakes with a fork -- and my mother didn't want me doing that, either.

+ The Atlanta Falcons were crushed by Kansas City 56-10. My hometown Chiefs scored an N.F.L. record eight rushing touchdowns - which only makes sense, since the Kansas City Stockyards handle so much GROUND beef.

+ Instant Message to WHAL Radio: What do you mean, you're number one "from Baker to Peabody?" I listen to your station, too. Is your music only for residents of housing projects?

COMING THIS WEEK: An e-mail so scathing that we called the Marshal about it....

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