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7 JUL 04: NOT REALLY OLD SCHOOL

Tuesday was orientation day for Muscogee County's "year-round schools." Considering the time of year when this occurred, I guess students and teachers have been on a fiscal New Year's break.

I knew I was forgetting some big event right after the Fourth of July, but I didn't know what it was until Tuesday night. Then a Publix brochure reminded me - it's back-to-school time. Yes, already. Those fireworks are the shopping centers'
way of reminding you to start stocking up.

I'm old enough to remember when back-to-school sales were barely mentioned until August 1. But nowadays in parts of our area, if you wait that late your children might be forced to take year-end make-up exams.

Which came first - the back-to-school sales starting earlier, or the traditional school year starting earlier? I think the sales came first. After all, the stores need the money more than most children need the extra hours behind desks.

The Publix brochure actually showed a start date for "back-to-school savings" of July 3 -- even before Independence Day, and only six weeks into the Muscogee County Schools' 11-week summer break. Before long, the "summer reading lists" in classy magazines will include math textbooks.

But what stunned me most about the Publix "back-to-school savings" brochure was the list of items on sale. I'm struggling to figure out what some of these have to do with school:

+ A "micro-dermabrasion kit." Well, I guess bored children can get under a parent's skin....

+ Four different coupons for hair color -- and not one picture of Christina Aguilera or Kelly Osbourne on any of the boxes.

+ Packages of Excedrin and Tylenol. Obviously for the returning teachers....

+ A coupon for "Ant Quick Kill Formula." Can't children kick ant hills and run away anymore?

+ A coupon for Polident or Poligrip. I knew the average age of college students was increasing - but THAT much?

BLOG UPDATE: My trip to Publix happened to take me past the Popeye's Chicken restaurant on Wynnton Road. The staff rebellion of Monday seemed to be over Tuesday evening, as all was quiet inside and out. Perhaps Olive Oyl showed up, and threatened not to go to the dance with Anybody.

I peered quickly while driving by Popeye's, to check the restaurant's staffing - but I didn't spot anyone at the counter. Maybe Monday's lesson was learned. Now the entire crew might be smoking outside the back door, because there's safety in numbers.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Someone sent me a message Tuesday asking, "Where are you now, Clymer?" But not long before that, Sarah Clymer DID respond to the potentially explosive comments in another e-mail [5 Jul] -- and keep in mind, I forwarded her the ENTIRE e-mail, including the part still unseen here:

Richard:

Welcome to the world of mudslinging politics! I just checked my email and would be glad to respond to Mr. Lowell's message. I was a 12-year resident of Columbus until recently, and formed my opinion of Mr. Peters based on knowledge of him through the media, my experiences working for a local law
firm, and my work with local government through a position that put me in constant contact with public health and public safety. I still have many friends in Columbus and we like to talk politics. Apparently Mr. Lowell's taste runs more to writing tabloid headlines. I especially like the fact that he claims he is not a Daniel supporter! Tell him next time he writes in to include his rank or paygrade so I can decide if he is worth suing.

Keep up the great blog and biting sense of humor.

Sarah

We DID have too much rain here this past spring, Sarah. Sadly, there's plenty of mud left to sling.

Please note how Sarah Clymer says she bases her opinion of Superior Court Judge Bobby Peters on "knowledge of him through the media." Craig Lowell's original e-mail indicated the knowledge went a bit beyond that -- and, well, (ahem)
may not have stopped at head knowledge.

Sarah Clymer's mention of work putting her "in constant contact with public health and public safety" tells me Craig Lowell knows at least some things about her. In a follow-up message to me over the weekend, Lowell wrote Clymer used to
work at the Health Department. She didn't order any of those bogus flu shots, did she?!

So it's check the paygrade first, then sue the bum? Then maybe I'm safe in this political spat. I won't say exactly how much readers have donated to the blog - but the United Way wouldn't dare put me in charge of the next fund-raiser.

A "biting sense of humor," eh? I simply MUST stop eating apple pie at the computer....

And now an e-mail on something completely different. Bill makes this suggestion:

You should have a blurb at the start of your page showing when you last made an entry. That way we wont have to re-read everything to see if anything new is added.

Personally, Bill, I don't mind if you re-read everything. Some people need me to explain my jokes two or three times, anyway....

I can understand Bill's request, yet I'm puzzled by it. Most of the time, I post items to this blog only once a day. That way, I really do feel like the newspaper some readers say I'm topping.

When I check the official blog page, there's a date of the latest post right above my little advertisement for my album near the top. So maybe that's the problem. People don't want the album, so everything around the offer is a blur.

To offer a story tip, make a donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-04 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.