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1 JUL 04: FOLLOW-UP CALLS
"I have a card I want to show you," my 75-year-old next-door neighbor said as I drove her through downtown Columbus Wednesday afternoon. If someone signed up this fixed-income woman for a Visa card with a $5,000 credit line, this could be trouble.
My neighbor pulled a small business-card sized item from her purse, and let me examine it at a stop light. "Is that a Medicare card?"
While the word Medicare was on it a few times, I quickly set her straight. "No. This is a refrigerator magnet."
My neighbor laughed at this answer, and pulled out another one with the words "Area Agency on Aging" on it. Just because you have a magnet about aging does NOT mean the AARP is stuck on you.
(Unless, of course, they make the magnetic strips on these cards extra-wide so older people can see them....)
You may recall my next-door neighbor never has enrolled in Medicare [4 May], and says she hasn't been able to get through by phone for information about it. You don't think older bachelors are dialing 1-800-MEDICARE to have a fling with the young operators, do you?!
It appears my next-door neighbor went to some sort of "senior health fair" and picked up those magnets. But based on what she showed me, she still does not have Medicare. If she's lived that long without it, she might get invited to the Republican National Convention.
During the Wednesday drive, my next-door neighbor also told me she got a call from Jimmy Peters with Bill Heard Chevrolet. He apparently was checking on that $1,000 Internet shopping spree she won in a promotion [16 Jun]. But why? So she could trade it all in for a used car?
My next-door neighbor must have given Jimmy Peters quite a talk. She put it this way to me (paraphrased): "I told him no, I haven't used that shopping spree because my daughter doesn't have a computer. I just wish you'd give me that $1,000, so I could spend it in stores here." Wow - flag-waving Bill Heard practicing oursourcing?!
My fixed-income neighbor still hasn't come up with the $2.98 she needs to get a money order, to obtain a catalog from the shopping spree company in Florida. But I'm a bit puzzled - because she had three bucks handy to pay for my gas during the trip.
Even more puzzling is this: I drove my fixed-income neighbor to a church food pantry, because the welfare office gave her a voucher for free groceries. But the pantry was closed - and my neighbor wound up paying cash for several bags of food at a supermarket. Is she simply playing dumb with me?!
My neighbor said she'd get "a couple of pounds of meal" at the supermarket - but she came out with much more, including a container of ice cream. I didn't know corn meal makes a half-gallon last even longer....
E-MAIL UPDATE:Hey, here's a change of pace - a letter that's NOT about Bobby Peters! Bill writes to inform us:
You can find out more details about the "Fair Tax" [28 Jun] at www.fairtax.org .
Thanks for the tip, Bill. I checked the web site of "Americans for Fair Taxation" Wednesday -- and it claims, "Everyone agrees the current Federal tax system is broken." Everyone? What about my neighbor who's so poor, she hasn't even bothered to file for a state refund yet?
The "fair tax" Senate candidate Herman Cain likes so much is described on this web site as a tax on goods and services. Countries such as Canada already have this - yet Canadians have voted for liberal governments for years.
"You don't need an expert to determine your Federal taxes," FairTax.org claims. Yet the web site also promises a full tax rebate for people with poverty-level incomes - so those people still might need an expert to add up a 12-month stack of sales receipts.
By the way, one of Herman Cain's opponents for U.S. Senate unveiled his first TV commercial Wednesday. Democrat Cliff Oxford says it's time for Georgians to "take care of ourselves first." We should note this same approach is taken often by thieves and bank robbers.
With an off day from Superior Court Judge jokes (the pro-Peters messages jumped to five, by the way), here's what else we came up with Wednesday:
+ Lee County Sheriff's officers reported a Fort Benning soldier was arrested in Phenix City, for having child pornography on his computer. We expect Fort Benning's commanders will respond to this by declaring at least eight web sites off-limits.
+ The University of Phoenix cut the ribbon to open its new Columbus branch campus, near Veterans Parkway. NOW will you guys please stop the Internet pop-up ads?
+ Chattahoochee Valley Community College held a live drawing during the Noon news - and former Phenix City Mayor Sammy Howard won a vacation in Destin, Florida. If former Housing Authority Director Chuck Roberts gets his wish, Howard will love that city so much that he'll never come back.
+ One block of Broadway was evacuated during lunch hour, because of a natural gas leak. It initially was traced to The Loft -- where the managers should remind the staff it's not Open Main Night, but Open MIKE Night.
(WXTX "News at Ten" updated the source of that leak -- putting it downstairs from The Loft, at the Olive Branch restaurant. I've seen chefs there turn up stoves so high, it's a wonder the menu isn't full of flambe dishes.)
+ The big Spectrum sign came down at 14th and Veterans Parkway, replaced by a big Taco Bell sign. Big deal! Either way, you still can get gas....
+ Instant Message to the Sonic on Wynnton Road: About your sign offering a "J R BANANA SPLIT" - has Larry Hagman's acting career stooped THAT low?
SONG OF THE DAY: As of today, Georgia stores and restaurants can sell beer with a higher level of alcohol content - as high as 14 percent. We should celebrate this, by rewriting a tune I learned long ago while playing youth softball:
Stronger bottles of beer on the wall!
Stronger bottles of beer!
Take one down, pass it around....
(Hic!) (Thud.)
COMING SOON: Why settle for one beer when you can have three?....
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