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4 JUL 04: FREEDOM OF RELIGION?

Did you see the fireworks show on Veterans Parkway Saturday night? People at Wilson Apartments fired all sorts of rockets, some of which exploded well above the trees - making it perfect for police to track down the shooters and make arrests.

Did you see my news conference Friday evening? Well no, I doubt you saw that. It broke out at the end of the workday, when co-workers suddenly started peppering me with all sorts of questions about my life. It was as if they considered me a secret Enron executive or something....

(Let the record show I confirmed the answer to one of their questions Saturday night - by getting dinner at Krystal.)

One of the questions at the news conference concerned where I attend church. It seems appropriate to talk about that on this Independence Day, when we celebrate our freedoms in the U.S. Of course, if you REALLY want to show freedom on this day, you'll put something besides hot dogs and burgers on the grill.

This summer happens to mark 25 years since I started attending Sabbath-keeping "Church of God" congregations. I became convinced as a teenager the doctrines taught in the United Methodist church of my youth didn't quite match the Bible. Perhaps the last straw came when a Sunday School teacher drove our group to a donut shop, without Bibles.

My high school years found me watching a 6:30 a.m. daily religious show with the late Garner Ted Armstrong before going to school. Answering another Friday news conference question: I had a portable TV in my bedroom then - so perhaps I WAS spoiled after all.

(I didn't quite grasp back then that Garner Ted Armstrong was having run-ins with the law, and disagreements with his father who founded the Church - the sorts of things which make a lot of TV ministries seem like real-life soap operas.)

While some of my classmates lived their "teenage rebellion" by trying drugs or turning to loud rock music, I listened to the short-lived "News and Information Service" all-news radio network and watched religious TV programs. Anything to help me get an edge on the high school debate team, you know....

While I read church literature for years, I never attended with the group offering it - but the opportunity came between my junior and senior years of college. I was a summer intern at a Topeka, Kansas newsroom, and I told the bosses I couldn't work on the Sabbath. This put the pressure on me - because what if an investigative reporter decided to follow me around?

The problem with attending this Church of God group is that they have few permanent buildings, and rent meeting halls every week. That's still true with my congregation in Columbus. If you don't go to the right building at the right address, you might hear a pitch for Gutter Guard. [True!]

Another problem is that this Church of God has a history of being secretive. Some branches only let you come to a service by the Pastor's approval or invitation -- AND after you answer a doctrinal question correctly. It's sort of like the CRCT exam for grown-ups.

But in the summer of 1979, the standard in this Church of God group was not totally strict. So when I called the headquarters phone number in California, the operator told me exactly where and when the group in Topeka met. I think this was before phone call monitoring, so she hopefully wasn't fired for it.

So my first Church of God service occurred at Croco Square, an east Topeka building used mostly for square dancing. As strict as this group was, I had the feeling the ministers would be against that....

Without a Pastor's approval to attend, I quietly went in the door to Croco Square that summer for Sabbath services - trying to avoid meeting anybody, finding a chair and reading a Bible until church time. After all, I never knew who might
report me and get me thrown out on my sportscoat.

I never shook hands with the Pastor once that summer - but a deacon in the church did encounter me and say hello a few times. Amazingly, he never showed me the door or threatened me in any way. For a group considered by some to be a cult,
it was a shock - a little bit of love.

(Even then, though, I began to get a taste of how different this church group was. One weekend, someone played the "Hawaiian Wedding Song" on a steel guitar for special "worship music.")

My "sneaky summer" ended with my return to college for my senior year. I would have had to drive one hour one way to attend a Church of God group each week - and that seemed too difficult for me. Silly youth that I was, I wound up doing that every Sunday to work at that Topeka newsroom.

It would be three more years before I started attending a Church of God group full-time, in Oklahoma. I did NOT try sneaking back into the church hall this time. Some groups are so small that you stand out, anyway....

Looking back 25 years, I'm struck by how bizarre Church of God groups have tended to present themselves and act. Sadly, sometimes they still do. They like to talk about freedom of religion -- but many times, it means freedom to ban you
from worshipping with them in the same place.

BLOG UPDATE: Speaking of the church I attend, I found out this weekend my Pastor owns a Ruger gun. Apparently he only uses for hunting and target shooting - because I've never heard him recommend using it when a driver cuts you off on the freeway.

I happened into a conversation with two church members who love to collect and talk about guns. One of them was the man who brought a pistol and 100 rounds of ammunition to the church picnic last weekend [29 Jun]. I finally had to admit
the only "45's" I own are vinyl discs....

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