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18 JUL 04: PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE

We have a three-part blog today - but if you don't mind, I'd like to take things in reverse order from the title:

THE FUTURE hopefully will be bright for the couple whose wedding I attended Saturday. I'm tempted to describe it as an "intimate ceremony" - but you might get the wrong idea, and think they consummated the wedding in the reception hall.

It's better to call the wedding of Michael and Laura Osburn in Phenix City a SMALL ceremony. In fact, it was the smallest one I've ever attended - and you know it's small when everyone in the audience sits in the church choir loft.

(I could have attended an even smaller wedding years ago - but my dad never invited me to his second marriage, after divorcing my mom.)

The ceremony at Summerville United Methodist Church was short, sweet - and at one point amusing. The bride and groom paused a moment to examine each other's wedding rings. The Pastor eventually explained to us: "They've written messages for each other inside the rings. They're not checking to see whether they're authentic."

Laura the bride hid a secret under her wedding gown - besides the garter, that is. She confirmed at the reception she took off her shoes before walking down the aisle, because she "never felt comfortable in heels." A barefoot bride, at a wedding in Alabama?! Wait until Jay Leno hears about this....

(Laura referred to the shoe problem as "technical difficulties" - thus giving away the fact that she'd worked at a TV station.)

During the reception, Michael suddenly left the church. "I know where you're going!" Laura told her new husband loudly. The quick speculation had something to do with smoking -- because I certainly didn't notice any bill collectors in trenchcoats walking in the door.

Then came the time to cut the wedding cake, and it took a few moments for the bride and groom to figure out which part to cut and how. Why DON'T they make these things with directions?

I mentioned the bride's garter, which is customarily tossed to single men attending the wedding. Saturday there were TWO of us - and I was one of them. Curiously, one of the most eligible single women at the ceremony left before this
moment....

With a left-hand stab, I grabbed the garter to take home as a souvenir! I can't wait to take that to a singles bar or dance, to see if any women take the hint.

(Sad to say, this makes TWO garters I've caught over the years. The last one came at a wedding in Calhoun, Georgia in the late 1980's -- and I still dust it off during spring cleaning every year, hoping....)

THE PRESENT - yes, I gave the couple one. But seriously....

E-MAIL UPDATE: The present issue of the moment is obviously the Superior Court Judge race - and Maxine Hardy, apparently still Judge Roxann Daniel's campaign treasurer, wrote us again Saturday:

I just heard Bobby Peters on the radio claiming I sent an anonymous e-mail and that e-mail was traced back to me. Why do you think Peters needs to tell a lie like that? To discredit me? You and all your readers (both of them--Hi Mr. and Mrs. Burkard!) know that I didn't do anything anonymously. I've never done anything anonymously in my life.

I can deal with their calling me a liar; what else can they do? What chaps my big fat butt is their claiming that I did something anonymously. I am not a coward.

Now hold on a minute! It wasn't difficult to trace Hardy's e-mail, since her name was on the address. It's "Free Cynthia Suber" I'm still trying to figure out.

Was Bobby Peters "lying" about Maxine Hardy sending anonymous e-mails - or did someone give Peters inaccurate information? If it's the latter, that may even out the argument about the resumes given to Governor Roy Barnes.

"Mr. and Mrs. Burkard" ?!?!? Let's sink that one-liner right now. I did NOT take the garter from Saturday's wedding, race up to the Callaway Gardens chapel and marry somebody. For one thing, do you think I'd write a blog entry on my wedding night -- especially about the race for Judge?

And as for Maxine Hardy's second paragraph - well, at least it rained for awhile Saturday. That meant the heat couldn't "chap" anyone's body parts....

Judge Roxann Daniel gained the endorsement of the Ledger-Enquirer Saturday. Before she gets too large a head about that, remember something - the newspaper endorsed Cathy Vaughn over Mary Sue Polleys for School Board two years ago.

Also, our thanks to the anonymous blog reader (no, it wasn't Mrs. Burkard) who sent us this:

It's actually Judge Maureen Gottfried!!

I couldn't remember her first name - and an online search for "Gottfried" and "Georgia" kept bringing up college basketball games, for some reason.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: We plan to have a politics-free blog Tuesday, on Georgia Primary Day - so this is your last call for comments on candidates.)

THE PAST recalls an event most of Columbus seems to have forgotten. This past week marked eight years since the Olympic torch came through town, heading for the Atlanta Olympics. It was a happier time in Columbus - when Bobby Peters was Mayor, and no one was spreading nasty rumors about him.

People helped pay for the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta and Columbus by purchasing commemorative bricks. I'll never forget the "Vent" someone wrote the Atlanta newspapers about that tribute: "I hate it when someone steps on my brick."

Whatever happened to the Columbus bricks? Since it's an Olympic summer, I decided to head to South Commons Friday evening to find out. Almost all the names still are legible - but the book listing where to find them has been missing for
several years. If they moved it inside the Chattahoochee Valley Sports Hall of Fame, at least leave a note....

Some of the bricks near Golden Park reflect eight years of change in Columbus. I found one for Lummis Corporation - which since 1996 has closed its plant and left town. At least courteous Columbus residents haven't X'd it out with chalk.

There's also a brick for SouthTrust Bank, which is about to merge into Wachovia. The combined companies should have enough assets to rip out that marker, and replace it.

I didn't realize until I walked around the brick circle that President Clinton and Vice President Gore have markers side-by-side. It's one of the rare times you can see them next to each other anymore....

(And is it simply coincidence that the brick for Jimmy and Rosalyn Carter is nowhere near the "Clinton-Gore" bricks? They weren't exactly buddies in 1996, either.)

I couldn't find a brick for either Superior Court Judge candidate - but Mimi Woodson has two: one with her name, and one noting she's Columbus's first Hispanic Councilor. Not even Rep. Sanford Bishop's brick there played a race card....

Several of the bricks have religious messages, such as the numerous ones which say "Seventh-Day Adventist." It's much like the church denomination I normally attend - somehow that's more important than saying you're a Christian.

Several well-known names have a brick in the display. I found one for "Wayne Bennett Anthony." Is this the TV news anchor, or the Columbus Councilor? Come to think of it, has anyone ever seen these two men together?

Now some quick notes before we head for bed:

+ Our best wishes to local radio legend Chuck McClure, who we hear is in failing health. Maybe this will bring Doug Kellett back to Columbus - and "Talkline" can be saved.

+ The Columbus Baptist Association held its annual "Kits for Kids" program at the Civic Center. Parents from as far away as Americus came to pick up free school supplies - though how they could afford to do this with gas at $1.75 a gallon is a
puzzle to me.

+ Instant Message to new Cascade Hills Church "college pastor" Jeff Oates: We welcome you to Columbus - but really now. Wearing slacks two inches too long, and a sticking-out dress shirt that's unbuttoned at BOTH ends?! To give a sermon?!? In this city, it's no wonder your invitation had no takers.

(I know, I know - the Bible says I shouldn't judge according to appearances. And maybe Jeff Oates was wearing the "uniform" of a modern college student to relate to them. But this man made Ryan Seacrest look like a model for Gingiss formal wear.)

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