23 JAN 09: B.O.-mbs Away

"Are you going to shoot off fireworks tonight?" I asked a neighbor at my complex after a Thursday afternoon jog. And no, it was NOT a double-edged joke - because I hardly ever see women visiting his apartment.

"No," the man answered. That was good news for me. I didn't want to come under fire after officially ending my run, and explosions as I headed to poker night would have thrown me off my game.

We mentioned a few weeks ago that this neighbor shot off fireworks on two separate occasions, during New Year's weekend [4 Jan]. Since then, he's fired a few explosives shortly after dark on several evenings. Not every evening - it's a "hit or miss" thing, and thankfully the fireworks haven't hit anybody.

"Why???" is the question I've asked myself when the neighbor shoots off explosives. On a couple of occasions, I took the next step and called 911. But amazingly, the fireworks stopped as soon as I made the phone call - as if my neighbor is wearing earphones linked to the apartment complex's phone lines.

I don't really know what happened once police showed up at the apartment complex, or even if they arrived at all. The last time I called 911, I was told if the fireworks started again after police stopped by, I would have to file a complaint by name. Posting details here the next morning apparently doesn't count.

One afternoon, I happened to see the neighbor's brother visiting the apartment. I asked him about the fireworks, but he knew nothing about it. So much for the theory that the two men are sending smoke signals to each other.

But Thursday afternoon was my first opportunity to talk to the neighbor directly - without any fireworks around to become a threat, that is. "May I ask why you've been shooting them off?"

"For Obama," he answered. Aha, my hunch from three weeks ago was right -- although it seems like something a Republican redneck would be more likely to do.

But that question reminded my neighbor of a mistake he made this week. He admitted he was going to set off fireworks on Inauguration Day -- "but I totally forgot." Sometimes we should all be thankful for the things other people forget....

No, I did NOT reveal to my neighbor that I'd called police about him. And I did NOT remind him of the strict Georgia laws regarding fireworks. I walked inside, assuming Barack Obama's inauguration will end the explosive celebration. But then again, he might decide to stage a "make-up" show on Presidents' Day.

If the fireworks had gone off Thursday night, I was prepared to try a different tactic on my neighbor. I've placed a small U.S. flag on a chair near my front door. The moment an explosion went off, I'd step outside with my flag and start waving it. Maybe then he'd realize how silly his celebration is.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Here's a question that crossed our minds several months ago, and may have crossed yours....

Richard, Just wondering if the Bill Heard Hall at the RiverCenter will keep it's name (in light of the Bill Heard bankruptcy, etc.)? Do you recall how much money he (or his company) donated to the RiverCenter to have the "Hall" named after him? Just Wondering

The name "absolutely" will stay, RiverCenter Executive Director Enoch Morris told your blog Thursday. He said Bill Heard's financial difficulties "after the fact" are NO reason to remove his name. And you know, they didn't remove the name after those accusations of bad business practices.

Enoch Morris noted Bill Heard made a "major gift" to have the RiverCenter several years ago. How major? "About five million dollars." And this was before a stripped-down basic Cadillac cost $40,000.

By the way, has anyone else noticed what I just realized about the RiverCenter? It has Bill Heard Theatre - and also Legacy Hall, as in the name of the new Chevrolet dealer. Enoch Morris didn't realize that until I mentioned it. But he offered this clue for the future - there's also a Studio Theatre.

Enoch Morris added things are going well at the RiverCenter. The two-night tour of "Ain't Misbehavin'" had a good turnout this week, but he suggested there was room for more. With a title like this, residents of Youth Development Centers might have learned something.

Now for our quick song-and-dance about the Thursday news:

+ Aflac's stock price dropped 37 percent, falling to a nine-year low. It happened after a market analyst warned Aflac was exposed to "European bank hybrid debt securities." And all this time, I thought hybrids were a good "green" thing....

+ Synovus confirmed it has cut 651 positions, after losing $584 million for the year. The company also announced it will NOT offer executive bonuses for 2008 - so the place to be for "happy hours" may move from the River Club to Sonic Drive-Ins.

+ Former Muscogee County School Board Fife Whiteside began posting reports on board meetings for Common Cause of Columbus. His first report reveals the new administration building is costing $2.5 million LESS than projected. Wow - extra money to spend on that private commode for the superintendent.

+ WRBL reported two "Maid Brigade" employees were arrested in Harris County on burglary charges, and a third is wanted for arrest. The suspects reportedly took items from homes they were hired to clean. Maybe they'll use the old "out-of-control vacuum cleaner swallowed the diamonds" excuse.

+ Alabama basketball player Ronald Steele denied reports he's leaving the team due to a foot injury. But he wouldn't tell the Birmingham News exactly why he's leaving. Hopefully former Phenix City Councilor John Storey will reveal the details on tonight's evening news.

+ Instant Message to all Columbus abortion opponents: Where have you gone? You used to hold marches and rallies downtown, to mark the anniversary of that Supreme Court decision. Now all you can do is gather a small group outside a Catholic church?! Have 4-D sonograms put the local women's clinics out of business?

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