2 JAN 09: Columbus u-Akbar?
Did you notice it? How we made this blog new and improved for the start of 2009? We brought out a spiffy new headline style. And even more significantly, our daily headline is now in both upper and lower case. We don't you to confuse us with those screaming tabloids at the supermarket -- as if the lack of Jennifer Aniston pictures hadn't settled that already.
But our changes are tame compared with what Columbus Consolidated Government rolled out this week. I stumbled upon the city's made-over web site Thursday. The familiar photo of the Government Center has been shoved to the side - and why not? City government is about people, after all. In this case, the political ones....
Pictures of Mayor Jim Wetherington and City Manager Isaiah Hugley now appear on the city's home page. But the layout of the page has me a bit confused. I thought in cities with the government style Columbus has, the city manager was at the top of the flow chart. The mayor's overwhelming charisma dominates again.
But scroll down to the bottom of the city home page and you'll find the biggest surprise for me. Columbus city information now can be translated into eight different languages - and one of them is Arabic. Arabic?! This close to Fort Benning?! Next thing you know, some clandestine Muslim terrorist will want to join the Architectural Review Board.
The Russian translation option makes some sense, since former Mayor Bob Poydasheff was fluent in Russian. And a Spanish translation certainly is logical - although after looking at the city web site, I really wonder how many Spanish-speaking people in Columbus came here from Spain.
But it's that green flag for Arabic in the bottom right-hand corner that is likely to upset some people. After all, that's what "the enemy" speaks in the fight against terrorism. Yet I've heard no call to shift away from Arabic numerals to Roman.
(You can almost draw up a campaign promoting this sort of change. "Roman numerals. They're M-M-good.")
We tried the Arabic translator on the Columbus city home page. There apparently are Arabic words for Mayor Wetherington and City Manager Hugley's first names. But there's no good Arabic word for "Cottonmouths" -- as if people in Saudi Arabia and Kuwait could keep ice rinks for hockey from melting in the summer.
So why do you think Arabic was included in the translation options? Is it part of a secret deal with the Saudis, to lower Columbus gas prices so they're on the same level with Ladonia and Opelika?
Even with eight languages available for visitors to the city's web site, there's one language which is glaringly missing. Where's the flag for Korean? Is the city trying to arrange a sponsorship deal, with the new Kia plant?
The city web site promotes other new advantages. For one thing, you can adjust the size of the text on the page. It goes from medium to large, and then "why don't you sit closer to the screen."
Information from the city web site also is available now for RSS feeds. No, RSS does NOT stand for "Red's Strong Speeches...."
Thursday's visit to the city web site cleared up one item which was confusing to me. The new Local Option Sales Tax is now in effect. But it replaces the education sales tax, which expired with the end of 2008. So our "city on sale" promotion can continue - at least until the Georgia legislature goes back into session, and then all bets are off.
But there's at least one mistake in the city's list of public meetings and events. The "Men's and Women's Health Expo" is NOT this Sunday, the 4 SUP>th. It's on Saturday, the 24th. Go to the Trade Center this weekend, and the only exercise you'll get is from pulling on locked doors.
-> Did we have an award-winning year at the poker table in 2008? Check the year-end review at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--
E-MAIL UPDATE: The reviews of 2008 news aren't quite over yet. At least not for one frequent writer....
"Sir" Richard:
I had hoped that this little dissertation would appear elsewhere so I wouldn't have to interupt your busy year-end schedule. The original was sent about two weeks ago. I guess the L/E has bigger fish to fry.
I've learned something pretty drastic about one of the "characters" at "Hurt'sboro Town Hall - but in the interest of discretion - I'm going to hold it for a while.It will be yours when it's confirmed.
In the past, I have never made any New Year's resolutions. I, like most, never intended to keep them anyway. But this year, I'm making an exception. #1 I resolve to keep on trying to "sweep" out "Hurt'sboro's Town Hall or die trying! #2 I also resolve to expose "judge" Ken White for just what he is. He has used his "authority" here in "Hurt'sboro indiscriminately to say the least.
At last count, I've alerted at least seven State and County agencies to the problems we have to live with in our little town.. The "Hot Rock" has to get cool enough to handle somewhere.
In conversation with a young attorney about gaining access to public records (Which I, the State Examiners, or the District Attorney have been unable to do) it was suggested that I petition the Circuit Court for a WRIT OF MANDAMUS. You can take it to the bank my good man!! The paperwork has been filed.
Happy New Year my friend,
Constable R.J. Schweiger
I don't know who Mr. Mandamus is, but I hope he'll "writ" back as soon as possible....
Robert Schweiger's "little dissertation" is more than twice as long as this e-mail message. And for the most part, it repeats points he's made previously to us since the Hurtsboro city election. For instance, the new police chief is an "elderly man with health problems." So much for John McCain ever serving in Hurtsboro city government.
As for that city government: Robert Schweiger's "little dissertation" claims two seats on the Hurtsboro City Council currently are vacant. He says Governor Bob Riley will have to fill those positions. It sounds like the perfect time for Gray Conger and Ralph Johnson to do some rural house-hunting.
The "Hot Rock" Robert Schweiger mentions refers to the promised audit of Hurtsboro city finances. He should realize it takes time to conduct a thorough audit -- especially if some of the vital papers might be hiding under a shelf at the paint store on Main Street.
By the way, we found a nice assortment of pictures of Hurtsboro on Wikipedia as we prepared this post. The entry also revealed all the months of complaints and e-mails have been over a town with only one square mile of land. The printouts from all of Robert Schweiger's messages might cover half the city.
We're running late, so other e-mails will have to wait. Let's quickly catch up on some news items from the turn of the year....
+ The Tidwell Cancer Foundation's web site was taken down, shifting visitors to an anti-tobacco site called "Tar Wars." Some of us thought that referred to a Duke-North Carolina college basketball game.
+ Georgia mowed down Michigan State 24-12 in a Credit Card Company's Bowl in Orlando. After the game, no one dared ask Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford, "What's in your wallet?" He might have pulled out a signed agreement with an agent.
+ Georgia Tech was lashed by Louisiana State 38-3 in a Fast-Food Restaurant's Bowl in Atlanta. So many things went wrong for the Yellow Jackets that I wonder if they should have stopped with the win over Georgia, and declined a bowl bid.
+ Former Auburn head football coach Terry Bowden was hired by North Alabama. Bowden told reporters this was the "right place" for a comeback. Well, yes - where hardly anyone will pay attention if he has losing seasons.
+ Instant Message to Loco's Bar and Grill on 13th Street: You were right - that other sports bar DID have the N.F.L. Network, so I could watch Kansas in the Insight Bowl. So I won. You lost. Maybe it's time for you to rebuild, with a different satellite service.
SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: Why I don't make predictions very often.... and reactions from Burkard Award winners....
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