19 DEC 08: OH, DRY UP

We want our city to be tough on crime, right? Scofflaws should feel the long arm of the law, right? Public servants caught in scandal should be punished quickly, right? Well, that happened in Russell County this week - sort of. And amazingly, it was a Water Works which did the crackdown -- showing muscle in the shape of a pea-trap under the sink.

Where in Russell County might this sort of crackdown happen? If you read this blog often, you probably already know. The word reached us by e-mail late Wednesday:

"Sir" Richard:

I know that I told you I wouldn't splatter up your BLOG for awhile - but this gem is just too good to keep to myself.

The great Messiha ( Raferd Tapley ) The man who was going to lead us to better times. Had his "water" shut off in more ways than one today.A representative of The Water Works locked off the source of aqua pura to Town Hall today.

The Water Works Board doesn't take kindly to those who are delinquent for any length of time. No pay - no water! I suppose Mayor Tapley just overlooked the overdue account, because he has important things to look after; such as rag-tag Xmas decorations for our pot-holed streets and wheedling some under budgeted schools to send their bands (free gratis, of course) to our Xmas parade!

I've been "thirsting" for justice in "Hurt'sboro for a long time - And now I can't even drink a toast to this latest symbol of incompetence.with our illustrious Mayor - his "Water" has been shut off!!!

Constable R.J. Schweiger

Well, yippee - a City Hall is without water. Doesn't Robert Schweiger sound more and more like a villain in a Batman movie?

It turns out water service was restored to Hurtsboro's City Hall early Thursday. But Town Clerk Kimberly Key admitted it was turned off for several hours Wednesday afternoon by the Water Works -- as if that agency dreams of becoming Water and Power.

Kimberly Key explained the half-day water shutdown at Hurtsboro City Hall was due in large part to the transition of power. There was a delay in changing the persons authorized to sign checks on the city bank account. So Mayor Rayford Tapley couldn't sign checks for six weeks after taking office?! Did the former mayor hide the checkbook or something?

Kimberly Key says permission finally was worked out Wednesday for the change of signatures with AuburnBank, which is the only bank in Hurtsboro. But that permission came too late in the day, because the water works' payment office closes at 12:00 noon on Wednesdays. As you may know, many small towns across the South need a half-day to prepare for Wednesday night church services.

But Kimberly Key assured me all was well Thursday at Hurtsboro City Hall. Water was flowing again -- so city officials can wash their hands of any other scandal Robert Schweiger might find.

Kimberly Key seemed happy to hear from me, because she wanted to set the record straight about her job as Hurtsboro Town Clerk. Yes, she's a single mother. But no, she's not the "puppet" of "paw-paw" -- her grandfather, the Hurtsboro Police Chief. So many accusations about puppets are flying, you'd think Kukla and Ollie were coming back to television.

Kimberly Key explained she had to be trained by somebody, for the job as Hurtsboro Town Clerk. Her grandfather held the position, so he trained her. Another former Town Clerk could have been her mentor - but Rayford Tapley has been busy as mayor. And perhaps busy trying to convince AuburnBank he actually IS mayor now....

Kimberly Key assured me she'll be going to a school and getting certified by January, to be Hurtsboro Town Clerk. I admittedly didn't ask her where you go for that sort of schooling. It's hopefully not the same place which hands out doctorates to Columbus kindergarten teachers.

The Hurtsboro Town Clerk told me she works in a "very good town" -- and she's clearly fed up with Robert Schweiger saying otherwise. Kimberly Key suggested the outgoing Constable has mental problems, and "should go back to Illinois." Maybe that's a good idea - because the last two weeks have shown there's all sorts of political scandal hiding in Illinois.

-> Our Thursday night poker game had a happy ending. Read all about it at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: We talked with a Columbus city official Thursday as well. In fact, a reader suggested we contact him....

Richard --

Check with City Attorney Clifton Fay about the status of those employees of Municipal Court and the DA's office. The City Code says all Judge Turner and Mr. Conger have to do is write a letter to the Clerk of Council and declare that the employees are now under the Merit System. No further action by the City is necessary. These employees are now in the Merit System.

JudyT

Clifton Fay confirmed this to us by phone. Under a Georgia law from the 1980s, a letter of declaration is all that's needed to give your staff "due process" protection from termination -- and they can't be fired for doing silly things like leaving anonymous envelopes at a blogger's front door.

The City Attorney noted outgoing District Attorney Gray Conger filed the merit system request for 40 of his staff members only this week. But a review by the Georgia Attorney General's office concluded everything is in order. Well, everything except Julia Slater's organizational plans....

Clifton Fay indicated incoming Municipal Court Judge Stephen Hyles has worked out all issues with departing Judge Haywood Turner, when it comes to staff. Why do I get the feeling this is NOT the case with the District Attorney's office? In fact, you almost get the impression this dispute could require Carter Center intervention.

The City Attorney suggested the Georgia General Assembly might change the merit system rules someday, to put a time limit on filings - for instance, in the last 90 days before an elected official's term expires. I'd think judges would accept a ruling of 90 days. But wouldn't most District Attorneys argue for six months to a year?

Meanwhile, the plot thickened surrounding the District Attorney-elect Thursday. Richard Hyatt's web site reported Julia Slater represented a drug suspect in Recorder's Court only last Friday -- mere days before taking the D.A. oath. Come January, Slater might not be sure which table to use in the courtroom.

We need no official help, to discuss these other Thursday items:

+ Legacy Chevrolet opened for business on Manchester Expressway. But WRBL reported a banking technicality prevented it from selling any cars. If you see any Columbus Water Works trucks on the lot with employee holding giant pipe wrenches, please let us know.

(At least one Columbus radio station did live reports from Legacy Chevrolet. So what is this different kind of car-selling that Emanuel Jones is promising? Will the radio ads be noticeably quieter?)

+ East Columbus Magnet Academy marked Parent Day, with what its outside sign called a "Holiday Bizarre." If spelling errors keep happening like this, the school board may hold disciplinary hearings every week next year.

+ The "Open Door Institute" graduated its first class. This institute trains homeless people for jobs in the "culinary arts." This sounds like a great idea - but which executive at McDonald's talked the faculty into describing it that way?

+ The Alabama Shakespeare Festival canceled its upcoming production of "Les Miserables," due to cost-cutting. This only proves the national economy is - well, miserables.

2008 IN REVIEW CON'D: March was marked by the opening of two new Wal-Mart stores in Columbus. The store on Airport Thruway never seems crowded when I shop for groceries. And I haven't been to the store in Midland yet, to count all the Harris County and Talbot County license tags.

A Manchester man made national news in March, with a petition drive urging the federal government to do something about the rising cost of gasoline. And you know what - it did! President-elect Obama says a lack of federal oversight brought the entire economy to the brink of collapse.

Columbus fire stations began offering free diabetes screening in March. That was a nice thing to do -- but it's too bad they only did a drug screening on Zachary Allen after the fact.

Several local officials faced ethics complaints in March. Smiths Station City Council member Robert Sawyer was cleared of criminal tampering. But Hurtsboro Councilor Mae Dell McVay agreed with prosecutors that she will resign, and never run for public office again. How many residents quietly want the Constable to work out a similar deal?

The Muscogee County School Board voted in March to sell the old Baker High School building to an Atlanta developer. But Place Properties gave up rights to the building a few days ago - so homeless people are free to claim squatters' rights all over again.

Kendrick High School brought a state ladies' basketball title to Columbus in March, and did it with an undefeated record. The only real loss this team had was in interest by the city government - as there are still no signs along the highway marking what they accomplished.

The Georgia Board of Regents voted in March to give college football coach Mark Richt a 40-percent raise. This shows one big difference between Georgia and Auburn. At Auburn, you get the raise in a lump sum when you leave.

The Georgia men's basketball team stunned the nation in March, by winning three games in 30 hours to capture the Southeastern Conference title. The Columbus Cottonmouths can't complain anymore about playing three hockey games in three nights.

Jerry Seinfeld came to Columbus in March -- and he sold so many tickets that a second performance was scheduled at the RiverCenter. It was only fitting that the first show was held "one hour earlier."

A new low-power TV station went on the air in Columbus during March. WWCG has changed its format a bit since then, replacing some old movies with daily reruns of "The Beverly Hillbillies" and "Bonanza." But don't worry, some of the TV film is every bit as grainy.

Meanwhile, Aflac Chairman Dan Amos co-hosted a morning business show on CNBC during March. So when does the duck get his own show on Animal Planet?

SCHEDULED NEXT WEEK: I visit a bunch of dropouts.... or at least that's what I was told....

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