25 DEC 08: SIGN AND WONDER
There have been times this year when preparing this blog seemed a bit like the detective work on "The X-Files." Challenges of all sorts have come our way, and we've had mixed results in accomplishing them. One of these days, Derek Kinkade will challenge us to present a weather forecast.
The latest challenge took us to the edge Wednesday, in more ways than one. It came from an e-mail titled, "There Is a Sign":
It looks like a tombstone its underneath the bridge after you cross the chattahoochee bridge coming out of phenix city into columbus...I don't know what the tombstone reads because as you well know slowing down for anything there will get you killed. So good luck trying to find out.
Sam
Thanks for the good wishes -- but which bridge? Columbus has four river-crossing bridges for cars, and one for pedestrians. Of course, people who live on the north side of town may have never even seen three of them....
An e-mail exchange with Sam confirmed this sign was along J.R. Allen Parkway. There technically are two bridges across the Chattahoochee River there -- one eastbound, one westbound. It takes a really bad car wreck in the passing lanes to connect the two.
I've jogged on the Riverwalk under the U.S. 80 bridge a few times. But I never noticed a tombstone-looking item. People with roaming dogs tend to get my attention there -- and if they aren't around, you never know about the people who come downstairs from Bibb City apartments for 5:00 p.m. picnics on Tuesdays.
It's about a ten-minute stroll from the north end of the Riverwalk near Lake Oliver to the U.S. 80 bridge. Based on Sam's guidance, I started searching for that sign:
1. A concrete circle is on the ground, around the bend from the bridge. But it's secluded by brush, seemingly impossible to spot from the bridge - and the only word I saw anywhere near it said "sewer."
2. We looked directly under the eastbound bridge. No signs or tombstones are here. And thankfully, no one was around to holler "runaway boulder."
3. We carefully stepped toward the river, on the other side of the Riverwalk from the underbelly. The rocky path led us to some trash, including what looks like the top of a Riverwalk lantern. Couldn't the city build a small storage shed or something?
(We also found signs that people fished from this part of the Riverwalk. But I didn't think to pick up the three empty cans of Miller High Life, for recycling.)
4. Our careful stepping led to a northward view along the river. Could that round gray object be what Sam's talking about? We climbed up and around to get closer - and found it's nothing but a very smooth rock. The bridge builders apparently settled for one Horace King tribute at Dillingham Street.
Our searching, hiking and semi-crawling ended with no sign and no tombstone. Nothing along those lines was even visible on an island in the river, next to the U.S. 80 bridge. Sad to say, that could change if a kayaker runs into it someday.
So we drove home and prepared to blog about all this - but then we reviewed Sam's e-mail again. "The bridge AFTER you cross the Chattahoochee bridge"?! Uh-oh. We apparently did all that exercising and leg work, for the opposite of that old movie -- a bridge too near.
We hurried north again, thinking this other bridge was at the Second Avenue exit. But we had to go east on the J.R. Allen Parkway, turn around at River Road, then head west before we found the best clue so far. Two small crosses were along the side of the eastbound lane. Did some traffic victim really ask to have ashes scattered there?
It took one more turnaround at Riverchase Parkway to find what Sam saw - and make us thankful once again that gas prices have dropped well below two dollars a gallon....
The Second Avenue overpass above J.R. Allen Parkway is where that sign was placed. It's a marker for the "Korean War Veterans Memorial Highway," placed by the American Legion last spring [15 Apr]. I thought that marker was placed in Phenix City -- but then, rookie soldiers at Fort Benning can come up with all sorts of stunts.
Yes, we pulled over along the side of the parkway to shoot that picture of the granite sign. Thankfully, late-afternoon traffic was light Wednesday. And there's a wide-open curve in the road before the marker, so even a fast driver should have seen our left-turn signal -- not to slow down, but to change lanes.
So we thank you for an unusual adventure - not only in finding a new local landmark, but in careful reading. At least one person in our area actually means a bridge AFTER a bridge. With many people, such a phrase would have been dismissed as stuttering.
Now let's see what other adventures made news Wednesday:
+ Columbus Police arrested a man for holding up Shoe Show on Victory Drive. The suspect allegedly stole shoes and money at around 8:00 a.m. Come on, Buster -- stores are desperate to move merchandise on 24 December, but not THAT desperate.
+ An early-morning fire damaged Church's Chicken on Brown Avenue. I know what good is - and fire damage isn't good.
+ WLTZ did NOT show the "Bi-City Christmas Parade," as it did on 24 December last year. You know times are tough when Libby Allison can't even fly down from snowy Iowa, to ride in a car.
+ The midnight service at St. Luke United Methodist Church included Pastor Hal Brady mentioning controversial minister Rick Warren - but only in a story about Warren's children. Five years ago at that service, Brady dared to refer to the Kenneth Walker shooting. This year, he didn't even criticize the people who consider Barack Obama a messiah.
+ Instant Message to Golden Donuts: Thank you very much! I didn't realize when I walked inside that you were about to close for the holiday. Four "uglies" for the price of two, and I will sing a halle.... hey, wait a minute! That wasn't a sneaky statement about my appearance, was it?
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2008 IN REVIEW CON'D: July was a political month in Columbus. When the primary voting was over, residents had said "Yes to Public Safety" - and no to voting someone out of office simply because a friend of his opponent had her car burglarized.
In several ways, the status quo was upheld in our area in July. Ed Harbison kept his State Senate seat. The Muscogee County School Board decided to keep Superintendent John Phillips on an interim basis. And a Phenix City church decided NOT to fire its pastor - although the next lightning storm could show whether that move was right or wrong.
The Columbus Civic Center closed for several weeks in July, while the concrete floor was torn up and replaced. The staff waited until after the Jehovah's Witnesses' convention, to make sure no minister would declare it a prophetic earthquake.
One of the strangest crimes of the year occurred in Columbus during July, as several people were accused of stealing cupcake pans from a Dolly Madison warehouse. Why they thought the pans might be made of copper and not stainless steel, I have no idea....
Fort Benning had a celebration in July, to mark the 50th anniversary of Martin Army Community Hospital. Flu season reminds us this is the only place on post where staff members can give commanders a good shot in the derriere.
The approaching recession began to be felt in July. Columbus city officials proposed a reduction in trash pickup, to one day a week. A lack of trained lifeguards kept Phenix City swimming pools closed. And when a Phenix City plumber won a million-dollar Georgia Lottery prize, no one bothered asking if he might quit his job.
(I don't mean to say our economy is in trouble -- but the country music duo "Big and Rich" performed during July at Fort Benning, and seems to have dropped into seclusion since then.)
But of course, July's crowning moment came when a candidate for Muscogee County Sheriff declared your blogger "Idiot of the Week." Talk about a rare honor! I mean, I don't recall any candidate giving that title to incumbent Ralph Johnson.
The number of unique visitors to our blog is up 32 percent from last year. To advertise to them, offer a story tip, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.
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