26 DEC 08: MIDTOWN MAFIA

It's a requirement on some jobs that everyone HAS to take a dinner break during their shift -- even if it's a holiday, and even if you ate at home first. So that led me to take a walk Thursday evening to grab a snack I really didn't need. And that led to me spending three times more than I planned, on people I've never met. No, they did NOT claim to be secret Santas....

BLOGGER BEGGARS #11-12: The two young men stood on either side of the door, outside Circle K at Wynnton Road and Brown Avenue. I assumed they were waiting for a friend, as I stepped outside with a package of cookies. They certainly weren't working -- because they stared toward the street, and didn't open the door for me.

"Evening, gentlemen," I said quietly as I stepped around the man on the right to walk back to work.

"Can I have 50 cents?" that man asked. Yes, he WAS waiting for a friend - and anyone handing out free money was a friend of his.

I motioned the man to go back inside Circle K. "Why do you want it?" He didn't give an answer. But asking for 50 cents at the end of 2008 clearly means he doesn't want a pack of cigarettes - they cost much more than that.

The young man stopped at a rack, and pulled out a narrow bag of sunflower seeds. "This costs more than 50 cents," he informed me. Tell me about it - as Little Debbie is raising the prices of convenience store mini-donuts and brownies to 75 cents. Would Buford's Brownies please offer some competition?

"How much money do you have?" I asked the man. My 50 cents combined with his change could pay for the sunflower seeds.

"I don't have nothing." This is what happens when the consumer advice experts discourage gifts of gift cards.

"Can I have a soda?" The man standing on the other side of the front door had now come in, and passed us by while heading for the beverage cases. And you thought the big holiday doubleheader involved Tim Duncan and Kobe Bryant....

I stood exasperated for a moment at this. I should have told the second young man to go find another target for his begging. But then again, Fox News Channel has taught us the importance of being "fair and balanced."

"How much is it?" the second man asked as we approached the soda cases. Hmmmm - he didn't know? Maybe his usual "turf" outside a drug store was closed for the holiday.

"What does it say?" I asked the second man - who then reached into a case and pulled out a 20-ounce bottle of $1.19 soda. At least he didn't go for the big-money brands. You know, Pepsi at $1.39.

"I'm buying for these two," I told the woman behind the counter at Circle K as the men approached with their groceries. "They were begging outside...." At that point, the man with sunflower seeds seemed to deny he was begging -- but if he had been asking for much more money on public television, I would have used the same word.

"These men are desperate," I continued to explain to the women. The men seemed ready to laugh at this explanation -- as if they expected me to start preaching about conversion any second.

The total tab for the beggars' sunflower seeds and soda came to $1.81. "I appreciate it," one of the men said as they hurried out the door.

"You're supposed to say thank you," the woman behind the counter said. I figured she must be new to Columbus.

"'I appreciate it' is Southern for 'thank you.'"

I didn't see the two young men when I walked out of Circle K, less than a minute later. In fact, no one was standing at the door anymore. Maybe those men and their posse moved along, before the next crazed weirdo showed up.

This tag-team action ties our total beggar count for 2007. And it makes three beggars in a row that we've encountered on Wynnton Road [28 Sep]. The ministries which organized those holiday dinners near the Chattahoochee River should rent a room on the Aflac grounds next year.

True confession: this beggar double play left me annoyed, as I walked back to work. Yes, I could have turned down their request for money - but then what would have happened? Would their door-blocking "request" have led to something worse? I don't mean "Mug" Root Beer....

As I finished the work shift late Thursday night, and went to my car, a Columbus Police car happened to drive up behind mine. "You had to work on a holiday?" the officer asked me.

"Yeah, I did."

"We're on burglary detail. Just checking."

"I understand - but I sort of wish you'd been with me around 7:00 tonight."

Let's check other things that happened Thursday, at all hours of the day and night....

+ The late-night news rode with a Georgia State Patrol officer along Interstate 185 in Harris County, at speeds as high as 115 miles per hour. The trooper complained the highway is "becoming a racetrack." That settles it! The Raceway gas station at the Victory Drive exit needs to move closer to downtown.

+ WRBL scraped up enough money to presented a surprise 12:00 noon holiday newscast. Fill-in weathercaster David Spunt declared the sun "seems to set a little earlier every day" right now. Well, no -- the sunsets are a few minutes later right now compared with early December. This proves he's a fill-in, and certainly proves he's not a Seventh-Day Adventist.

+ The Columbus Cottonmouths lost to Knoxville 2-0. We're sad to report last weekend's attempt by the Cottonmouths for a world record for mass kazoo-playing fell short by about 1,000 people. Maybe Coach Jerome Bechard should stick to setting records for goal-scoring.

+ CBS Sports showed the "Chick-Fil-A Bowl Alma Mater" celebrity golf tournament. It had college sports twosomes -- and the Auburn team included Tommy Tuberville, while the Alabama team had Nick Saban and Ken Stabler. How did CBS keep this event's outcome a secret since last May?

+ Instant Message to the neighbor five apartments down from me: I appreciate you playing "alternative music" on Christmas Day. But playing a blues song called "It's Not Cheating Until You Get Caught" may have gone a little too far in the other direction.

2008 IN REVIEW CON'D: Looking back from here, August was an ominous month. GMAC separated itself from Bill Heard Chevrolet. DeRon Furr fled Auburn University's football team. And when Skip Caray died - well, Atlanta's baseball team was pretty much out of the running already.

A debate about "low bonds" surfaced in Columbus during August, when the President of the Griffin Rotary Club was arrested during a trip to town. Based on what we've heard about his attorney since then, the bond for Mark Shelnutt soon could be set a lot higher.

Columbus Council was told in August of plans to bring back riverboat tours during the fall. Uhhhh -- have I missed them? Or does that big boat in front of Port Columbus need to be pushed into the Chattahoochee?

Yet there was signs of local progress in August. The new Riverchase Drive exit from U.S. 80 in Phenix City opened ahead of schedule. And Columbus Police started closing Broadway to cars late at night on weekends - proving crowds have returned downtown, in spite of Streetscape.

The weather made big news during August, when Tropical Storm Fay brought drought-busting rain to Columbus. It was welcomed by local Democrats every bit as much as Tina Fey would be....

Guns made news in our area during August. Several Fort Benning soldiers won Olympic medals in shooting, and people rejoiced. The Muscogee County School Board gave its superintendent a pistol, and people wondered why the "Gun-Stoppers" hotline wasn't called.

A nasty feud broke open at this blog during August, between civil rights activists Brother Love and Reginald Pugh. From what I read in "The Courier," it's still far from settled -- and Mr. Love's middle name might as well be "Tough."

The fight over the future of Hurtsboro went to court in August. A petition to dissolve the city was rejected by a judge - and Robert Schweiger has been listing his grounds for appeal in regular e-mails to us ever since.

Hurtsboro and other east Alabama cities held local elections as August ended. Sonny Coulter won a fourth term as Phenix City's mayor - but he still has a long way to go to become a Sonny-100.

Columbus radio took several interesting turns in August. Ratings results were released to the public, for the first time in more than two years. The Archway Broadcasting stations were sold to local owners. And then there was the bareback show, which.... oh wait. It was "Bear" who CAME back.

The television side of Columbus media had a separation in August, as WLTZ and the Ledger-Enquirer ended their partnership. WLTZ seems to be the surprise winner from this split. It now has newscasts in high definition - while the newspaper was reduced to sending Tim Chitwood out with a camera Thursday, to take pictures of car wrecks.

We shouldn't overlook one regional sports note from August. Alabama head football coach Nick Saban was named "the most powerful coach in sports" by Forbes magazine. That cover story was last seen on a bulletin board, at the University of Florida....

COMING NEXT WEEK: We mark a bone-chilling anniversary, and carry on some year-end traditions....

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