25 NOV 08: THE BIRD IS THE WORD

So we had a nice Thanksgiving "potluck" dinner at church last weekend - but as I entered the buffet line, it suddenly struck me. The napkins, the table centerpieces and a wall decoration all showed the same thing. And how disrespectful -- because almost everyone was there, eating it.

Here a turkey, there a turkey, everywhere there lurked a turkey - they were on display all over the hall that afternoon. If someone from the opposite side of the world had walked in the door and heard it was a church Thanksgiving dinner, he might have concluded our "god" was a gobbler.

Yet let's face it - turkeys tend to dominate the discussion at this time of year. We're told how to shop for them. We're given tips on preparing them. President Bush even goes against his Texas reputation every year, by pardoning one.

Several people in Columbus have been busy in recent days collecting turkeys. Monday's news included a couple of examples. WFXE-FM "Foxie 105" personality J Styles arranged a giveaway of 20 turkey dinners. Since the low-income recipients didn't have to pay for them, these were free-Styles....

(If that name isn't familiar, J Styles is the Sunday midday announcer on Foxie 105. His name doesn't show up anywhere else on the Foxie-105 schedule - which means he isn't even a DJ Chip off the old block.)

J Styles arranged the turkey giveaway through something which was new to me - the "Urban Café." Based on its Myspace page, I guess it's a local talent night at a club on Broadway. But I'm a little puzzled, because I didn't see Keith Urban's picture anywhere....

A similar giveaway occurred Monday from a very different source. WRBL showed how Captain D's restaurants collected turkeys for the Valley Rescue Mission. Well, what else is a seafood restaurant supposed to do with turkeys - teach them to swim?

It appeared Captain D's presented a dozen whole turkeys to the Valley Rescue Mission. If this chain really cared, it would have borrowed from its own TV commercial - and put the turkey through that industrial-strength shredder to pre-slice it.

The Valley Rescue Mission holds a big Thanksgiving dinner for needy people every year. As of Monday, it needed donations of 12 more turkeys and ten more hams. If someone hands over 11 "turkey hams," will that satisfy everybody?

We'll probably hear about a few more turkey turnovers charity giveaways like this between now and Thursday. But I hope in all of this, we don't forget something - that thing I noticed at the church dinner. Thursday is NOT Turkey-giving Day. After all, the government of Turkey doesn't seem to give our country a gift on that day....

I wish all of you a happy early Thanksgiving Day. And as Jack Buck used to say during Memorial Day baseball games, I hope you'll take a little time to think about what the day really means. For instance, there should be time between the Smiths Station High School band's appearance on TV and the first football game.

-> How is our poker playing going? Check the math we did at our other blog, "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Can you spot what makes this message different from others we've had recently?

Many thanks to Columbus Fire dept. who came to our house to put out a chimney fire. They were QUICK, KIND, PROFESSIONAL and everything else you would want them to be............THANK YOU THANK YOU

OK, what's REALLY going on here? This e-mail is, well, simply too nice -- and I now know better about how to handle these things. Maybe it's time to call the mayor's office, and demand to know what the Fire Chief did wrong this time.

But seriously: I've been fascinated to take weekend drives in the east Alabama countryside and see where houses used to stand. Tall brick chimneys still remain, but there's nothing else to mark the homes. Some of them look like amusement park sites waiting to happen -- since the climbing wall already is in place.

Now let's check other good and bad things from the Monday news:

+ Business Improvement District officials told WRBL three downtown businesses plan to close. But the newscast didn't name the businesses - so we suggest you park on First Avenue around 11^th Street, for the most centralized free location to track down the half-off sales.

+ A report from Florida Atlantic University ranked Columbus with the 34^th highest crime rate, out of 338 metropolitan areas nationwide. That's one spot below Birmingham, higher than Houston - but for some reason, Atlanta was not ranked. Please don't tell me Columbus is higher than Atlanta, and the rappers there wanted to protect their "street cred...."

+ Columbus Police arrested a man, on charges of attacking an officer at Shogun's restaurant. The suspect reportedly tried to choke the officer with a "leg scissors" around the throat. If he didn't break the choke hold by a four-count, the suspect faces an additional charge for being disqualified under professional wrestling rules.

+ Circle K stores announced they'll hire off-duty police officers, in the wake of a series of robberies. This could do much more than reduce crime - such as moving the beggars around the doors to Summit and Money Back.

+ The second finalist for Muscogee County School Superintendent held his public forum. Faron Hollinger from Baldwin County, Alabama said the job of superintendent is a "divine calling." Did someone tell him Pacelli and Calvary Christian are NOT part of the school system?

(Muscogee County School Board member Philip Schley told the Mobile Press-Register the finalists for superintendent are meeting with PTA Presidents. If anyone asks too many questions about book fairs, make a note of it....)

+ WLTZ followed Mayor Jim Wetherington and his wife to lunch. Mrs. Wetherington marked her birthday by dining at Chuck E. Cheese's -- while I assume her husband policed the children's games, and arrested anyone engaging in horseplay.

+ Instant Message to Daryl Moor: I hope you find work quickly. It was sad to hear the Columbus Cottonmouths waived you, after four years on the team. But when Coach Jerome Bechard says no Moor, he means it....

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