9 NOV 08: SEEKING STRIKE THREE

If you thought we could get a breather from local politics after Election Day, think again. Saxby Chambliss and Jim Martin already have TV commercials on the air, for the Georgia Senate runoff in December. And suddenly, Martin has the courage to mention the name Barack Obama in his ads.

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: Today we present the first candidate for Muscogee County School Board in 2010. The indefatigable Bert Coker reveals to your blog he plans to run. We should stop here, to allow Coker to look up the word "indefatigable" - to learn how to say it, and see if that's a compliment.

Bert Coker was a write-in candidate for mayor in 2006, and received less than 100 votes. Then he ran for Columbus Council this week, and received about 30 percent of the vote. Now Coker says he'll attempt the trifecta, by running for school board -- and if his support grows another 30 percentage points, school board meetings may become the most entertaining event in town.

Based on the map of school board districts, it appears Bert Coker will challenge John Wells in 2010. One man wears cowboy hats. The other has run with bulls in Spain. Are we in Columbus or Fort Worth?

(But hey, I've got an idea - let's arrange a debate, the next time Pro Bull Riding comes to the Civic Center.)

Bert Coker disclosed his plans for 2010 when we called him about a very different issue. A source told us Coker never called Skip Henderson, to congratulate him about winning the at-large Council race. "That shows you what sort of man he is," the source asserted - and unlike the big word above, that was not a compliment.

Yes, Bert Coker admits it - he did NOT call Skip Henderson to congratulate him Tuesday night. But Coker has an explanation for it. And surprisingly, it's NOT because Coker plans to do it in person at the next Columbus Council meeting....

Bert Coker says he called Skip Henderson twice during the campaign, seeking a gentleman's agreement to not turn negative. Coker claims Henderson never called him back, even though Henderson had called several times to answer Council-related questions. Maybe Henderson feared revealing some deep campaign secrets - like how he supports base realignment.

"He didn't act like he knew me," Bert Coker contends - claiming in Skip Henderson's eyes, "I was a piece of meat." And in the eyes of many politicians, Coker is tough and stubborn enough to require a full can of Adolph's tenderizer....

On top of that, Bert Coker claims Skip Henderson's son pulled up some of his campaign signs. This not only is unethical - it ruins a perfectly good opportunity to aerate soil.

But Councilor Skip Henderson gave a very different story, when we called him Friday afternoon for a reply. Henderson says Bert Coker only called him once during the campaign - and went on to conduct a race filled with "personal attacks." I didn't dare ask Henderson whether or not his mother wears Army boots.

Skip Henderson added Bert Coker has a tendency "to fabricate facts from time to time." For instance, the Councilor seriously doubts his son pulled up campaign signs. But he'd better be careful - because Coker has all of 2009 to call police for fingerprint dusting of those signs.

(But then again, Skip Henderson could be right about his son. This election year has taught us if any hanky-panky happened, Josh McKoon would have alerted the news media right away.)

Skip Henderson recalled when Gerald Ludwig ran against him in 2004, Ludwig picked up 18 percent of the vote. Henderson says the 30 percent or so collected by Bert Coker this year simply reflected votes against an incumbent. Gray Conger must be wondering how Coker made so many other voters angry at him.

Bert Coker offered one other interesting campaign story, which you may or may not choose to believe. He says on election night at the Marriott Hotel, an eight-year-old boy came up to him and offered a 50-dollar bet on the outcome of his Columbus Council race. No wonder I heard a church pastor declare this weekend the Internet is "terrible" - it's spawned a wave of young gamblers.

Bert Coker told the boy he couldn't accept a bet like that, since he was running for office. You'll notice Sarah Palin didn't put a case of Alaskan salmon on the line this past week, against the Obama daughters' puppy....

The boy's family apparently backed Skip Henderson in the Columbus Council race - but as the night wore on, the boy became sleepy. Bert Coker says when he saw the child on a couch, he covered the boy with his coat. The coat had Coker's name tag on it. He should be thankful the stunned family which found it didn't press charges.

How did our Thursday night of poker go? The answer awaits you at our other blog -- "On the Flop!"

E-MAIL UPDATE: Another defeated candidate suddenly is the hottest topic in our InBox. First we have this follow-up from that candidate....

Richard, I will be be running in as a Conservative Republican in 2012. www.marklajoye.com

This certainly will be a change, when it comes to the Muscogee County Sheriff's Race. Ralph Johnson made it a point to run as an independent. Sheriff-Elect John Darr and Robert Taylor in 2004 ran as Democrats. The last "Law and Order" Republican in Columbus became a police chief in Chattahoochee County - and now Ken Suddeth must be in hiding somewhere.

But another reader has a different view of Mark LaJoye:

This guy is a total jerk and everyone in the Sheriff's Office was opposed to him. No one likes him and that's why he had no chance and will have no chance again in 4 years. John Darr will succeed and will be a great leader. He has the morals and attitude that anyone would want in their leader. John Darr will succeed and will bring respect and honor back to the Sheriff's Office. Thank you.

Everyone's opposed to him?! But a Mark LaJoye supporter claimed John Darr's election will lead to an exodus from the Sheriff's Department [7 Oct]. So maybe a personnel shuffle was inevitable - with Columbus Police salaries suddenly looking much more tempting.

We have one other e-mail which is more of a dare, and we'll address that Monday. Now let's check some other weekend discoveries:

+ Which area town is demanding a man dressed as Santa Claus appear to promote a December activity - and unless Santa appears, no one will show up? Fort Valley State doesn't get this desperate, and demand the team mascot recruit students.

+ A jog downtown revealed the old Bradley Theatre plans to reopen soon, as "The Fat Cat" nightclub. So much for asking for diet soda there....

+ WRBL reported local sales of assault rifles have jumped since Tuesday's election. One man told me this weekend President-Elect Obama wants to impose a tax on ammunition. If the estate tax can be called the "death tax," would something on ammunition be called an "attacks tax?"

+ Columbus High School won the Georgia AAA cheerleading championship at the Civic Center. WRBL showed part of the squad's routine, where a girl walked across the arched backs of her teammates. This is what happens when a team is sponsored by a chiropractor.

+ Alabama won "Saban Bowl II" at Louisiana State, 27-21 in overtime. With Florida winning over Vanderbilt, an Alabama-Florida meeting for the Southeastern Conference title already is settled. The "parity line" in college football must extend up Interstate 85, from Auburn to Athens.

(Alabama radio announcer Eli Gold declared the official announced attendance which "the fire marshal allows" was 92,400. But CBS announced a record Baton Rouge crowd of 93,039 - which must have included all the photographers along the side of the field.)

+ Auburn won its "Senior Day" game in college football. The final score was 37-20 over Tee Martin, which must have been.... no wait. It was T-N-Martin. Like Tennessee....

+ Instant Message to the person running a funnel cake tent on Second Avenue, outside the Villa Nova package store: I noticed you didn't have the overflow cheerleading crowd this weekend, compared with the Fountain City Classic. So what sort of wine goes best with a funnel cake?

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.09 a gallon at Fuel Tech on the 280 Bypass in Phenix City.... milk for $3.28 a gallon at Wal-Mart.... and Barack Obama's name to come up during every African-American church sermon in Columbus....

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