3 NOV 08: A DATE WITH THE JUDGE?

As I drove home from vacation, I realized I'd be entering a two-week political whirlwind. But at the local level, things had been relatively quiet - until an e-mail reached us over the weekend about the Frank Lumpkin III case:

Just to throw another coal into the fire. Judge Julia Lumpkin, Frank Lumpkin's sister, is dating the current DA, J. Gray Conger.

Oh dear - of all the years to skip the Steeplechase....

Since the District Attorney is up for re-election Tuesday, this short message prompted a flurry of phone calls on our part Sunday. The Ledger-Enquirer has noted Gray Conger "previously has dated" Judge Julia Lumpkin, and the judge is in fact Frank Lumpkin III's sister. But "IS dating" - now, present tense? Not even Judge Bobby Peters had a leak like this, before he became married.

If this relationship is still going, there could be all sorts of implications. It could explain the $2,500 bond Frank Lumpkin III received on aggravated assault charges -- that perhaps after months of complaints, the District Attorney's office finally intervened in Recorder's Court for a change.

If this relationship is still going, it could be the REAL reason why the attorney for alleged shooting victim Rodney Matthews wants a special prosecutor. But then again, is love supposed to be every bit as blind as justice?

We called District Attorney Gray Conger Sunday and left a message. He called us back later in the afternoon - but wouldn't you know it? He called during a 25-minute period while we stepped out for jogging. Next time, I'll keep watching pro football games through the overtime period....

A second message left when we returned was not answered as of Sunday night. But as I think the District Attorney would point out, the burden of proof here is on the accuser. We need some evidence that Gray Conger actually is dating Judge Julia Lumpkin now, besides a one-line e-mail. Did they hold hands in the latest Columbus and the Valley magazine?

Trying to get to the bottom of this rumor, we made other calls Sunday. We tried reaching Darrell Dowdell, the attorney for the teenager Frank Lumpkin III is accused of shooting. But the phone book only has a home phone number for a "D Dowdell," so we may have called the wrong person -- but it sounded like that person could afford the same fancy answering machine voice as Gray Conger.

We even called Gray Conger's opponent in the District Attorney's race. Julia Slater seemed thrown by our question about the District Attorney's love life - so I seriously doubt the rumor about Judge Julia Lumpkin began with her.

Julia Slater told me when she worked under the District Attorney, Gray Conger and Julia Lumpkin were "friends" - and the judge would show up at the office from time to time. But Slater added that was about five years ago. And let's face it - Britney Spears went through a couple of husbands in the last five years.

It's important to add a detail from the Ledger-Enquirer article. Julia Lumpkin is a Probate Judge -- NOT someone who normally handles criminal cases. There's only one way she might get involved in her brother's case. Trouble is, then that case would change from "low bond" to NO bond - as in a murder charge.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION on the Muscogee County Sheriff's race ended Sunday, with results I considered surprising. We closed the poll blindly during the lunch hour with Democrat John Darr receiving 64 percent of the votes, topping Independent incumbent Ralph Johnson (9-5). Only one more vote would have made it a Double-Darr....

But here's the biggest surprise of this question - write-in candidate Mark LaJoye received NO votes at all in our poll. After all the messages we received over the months from LaJoye and his backers, where did they go? Did they decide the more effective approach was to act like John Darr - and in effect go undercover?

One commenter in our week-long poll wrote Ralph Johnson has the credentials to remain Sheriff, but was "a day late and a dollar short" with his recent statements about the Kenneth Walker case. Johnson's campaign might argue the settlement of the Walker lawsuits actually came two weeks early - and right on time for the election.

Another comment about Ralph Johnson concerned "muted emotions." The writer said of the sheriff: "Warm and fuzzy he are not!" About the only "warm and fuzzy" law enforcement officer who comes to my mind is Deputy Dawg - and he wasn't always that effective.

Then there was the comment that Sheriff Ralph Johnson doesn't know all his employees -- even veterans of several years. So you see, there are two reasons why deputies wear badge numbers. It's not only for citizens to file complaints....

Other than this poll, have you been part of any campaign surveys this year? I received one in the mail a couple of weeks ago. It actually combined presidential politics with questions about my media and technology habits. Some of us can remember when a "mobile phone" only meant a call from south Alabama.

The survey from the University of Michigan asked me to rate several statements about "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart." But I don't watch that show, because I don't have cable TV. I've seen bits and pieces of Stewart in motel rooms -- but he's normally on at the same time of local newscasts, and I want to see if other cities have better-looking reporters than Columbus.

Then came a long list of statements to rate, concerning politics and candidates. They included six emotional reactions to the presidential contenders: "When I think of John McCain [or Barack Obama], I feel hopeful." Or proud. Or angry. I get the feeling that this year, some Republicans would answer BOTH men make them angry.

The survey also asked about political news coverage: "The media tend to favor the Democratic [or Republican] party in their reporting." Well, that depends. Did the candidate show up in Columbus when nothing else was going on - or after the old Bibb Mill caught fire?

Other statements were more generic - such as: "I could do a better job than our elected officials." The people most likely to agree with this probably are running for office. The people most likely to disagree with this probably are donating money to the incumbents.

There were other thought-provoking statements as well....

+ "I can trust the government in Washington to do what is right." If you say yes, there's only one candidate for you in this election - and President Bush is barred from seeking a third term.

+ "Most politicians are boring." This is why only a few select candidates were invited to appear on Saturday Night Live.

+ "It should be illegal to fly the Confederate flag on public buildings." These rabble-rousers -- trying to get me chased all the way to Michigan to join them.

The survey company offered me a one-dollar bill to fill out and return this survey. But this is one time when I do NOT plan to fill it out. The statements gave me six degrees of agreement or disagreement. If there were five, I could give a true response to most of them - down the middle and neutral. But "fair and balanced" apparently only exists with Bill O'Reilly, on Fox News Channel.

I wound up in another presidential poll the other day, without realizing it. I made my annual trip to Waffle House, which is offering "red state" strawberry waffles and "blue state" blueberry waffles. Are the pecan waffles for Cynthia McKinney supporters -- you know, the ones who are a little nuts?

This normally would be the point where we'd give you a fun pre-election quiz. But we're so burned out after ten months of campaigning that we'll give you a break this time. We'll simply ask this -- if 100 people saw pictures of Gil McBride and Julia Slater side-by-side on billboards, how many would think they're the same person?

Now for other things which crossed our path this weekend....

+ Which Columbus church had a worship band sing "Don't Worry, Be Happy" - during the service? And even more curious, it was for the grownups and not the children....

+ The Columbus Public Library opened an exhibit on the Montgomery bus boycott of the 1950s. But I fear some people are going to be upset - because the exhibit is titled "381 Days," and it's scheduled to end in less than 90.

+ The Columbus Hispanic soccer league held its "gran final" matches of the season at Baker Middle School. People who visit these games might get a big surprise - as the players don't say "gooooooooooooool" for 15 seconds at a time when they score.

+ Alabama climbed to first place in the major college football polls, for the first time in 16 years. It comes just in time for "Saban Bowl II" next weekend at Louisiana State. Let's all hope the Tigers are looking ahead a week, to that make-up game against Troy.

+ The Atlanta Falcons overwhelmed Oakland 24-0. The Raiders picked up only three first downs - prompting fans to suggest they pick up three new quarterbacks.

(COMING TUESDAY: Since we're politics-free on Election Day, we'll talk about our search for the Eiffel Tower....)

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BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 815 (- 139, 14.6%)

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