14 NOV 08: DIGITAL DEMONS

Who says TV wrestling is a thing of the past? I've been engaging in it all week. No, not against Mr. Wrestling Number Three. My opponent is known on television as "Rabbit Ears" - and I'm not talking about a Bugs Bunny mascot, who lost its way from Six Flags Over Georgia.

This has been a big week for me, because I officially made "The Big Switch." At midday Sunday, I bought an HDTV set. But it was NOT one of those giant screens with stereo, which can cover a living room wall. That's because I rent a small apartment, and my neighbors might not like the National Weather Service voice on "Weather Now" drowning out their radios.

My new 22-inch flat-screen HDTV cost less than $300, and was amazingly light for me to carry out of the store. I'm used to bulky sets with heavy picture tubes - you know, the tubes which look like they could double as curling stones or propane tanks.

But since I'm a guy, I didn't bother signing up for help from an HDTV installation team. I also didn't purchase a special stand for holding my set. If the screen was really THAT flat, I could do what I've done for years with collectibles and plaques. Simply lean them against the wall, and pray for no earthquakes.

Yet I'm an unusual kind of guy, because I actually opened the instruction book for my HDTV and read how to make it work. It truly must be a man's model -- because the directions explained how to start the remote control, even before I plugged in the set.

You need to put the batteries in the remote control first, because my HDTV doesn't have a power button on it. Have we become that lazy in the U.S. -- when the "on-off switch" is off, and no longer on?

The next step was taking the HDTV out of the box - and it's compact enough that the set could fit on a tabletop next to my old TV cart. I didn't have to lean the set against the wall, either. It has a base wide enough to stand on its own.... uh, well.... it doesn't have legs or feet. And I'm not tilting it, so it's not exactly (ahem) on its derriere....

An online check before I went HDTV shopping revealed my old inside antenna ought to work with my new set. So I attached its cord, turned on the remote - and after the set did an "initial channel search," I discovered I only have three main digital TV channels. WLTZ may have "the look of a champion," but it has the signal of a team that missed the playoffs.

The digital versions of the ABC and Fox stations came in fine - and since I plugged in the HDTV just in time for Sunday football, that was fine by me. Yet the Fox telecast didn't look right, because the scoreboard at the top of the screen was missing. It took me awhile to realize my set offers four options for the shape of the picture - from regular to necktie knot close-up.

It took a couple of "initial channel searches" for my HDTV to find WLTZ's digital channel. But it still hasn't found the DTV signals for channels 11, 16, 28 and 66. I understand some stations are operating their digital signals at reduced power for now - but c'mon. Channels 11 and 16 were low-power in the first place.

WRBL's digital signal comes through at my apartment, but it's quirky. If I stand in the wrong part of the living room, the picture "digitizes" or disappears. That even seems to be true if I move my hands the wrong way. Is this all a big government plot to have people try yoga?

I can hope the "Big Switch" date in mid-February will resolve some of these signal problems. But I'm reaching the conclusion I may have to go shopping again - this time for a digital TV antenna.

My new HDTV set also receives old-fashioned analog TV stations. But it doesn't get any of them as well as my old set did, and the PBS channel is barely visible. It's like Clifford the Big Red Dog is caught in a big white snowstorm....

GPB has been battling signal problems on both TV and radio. WJSP-FM is very hard to hear at 88.1 these days. I wondered if it had to reduce power because "Tropical 88.5" was told by the government to broadcast toward Cuba.

GPB's web site explains a "digital upgrade" has affected both WJSP stations, on television and radio. You may not know "digital radio" is a growing phenomenon. Troy Public Radio now has three separate FM channels. One of them broadcasts the BBC World Service - so people in rural counties can learn to speak proper English.

But a friend pointed out a big surprise to me - that WJSP-FM is also available at the other end of the FM band, at 107.7. It has the same call letters, but a signal which is much stronger in my car. Not in my apartment, though - WCGQ is loud enough to take care of that.

Is WJSP-FM planning a "Big Switch" of its own? We called the GPB office this week, and several staff members knew nothing about the simultaneous signal at 107.7 FM. But then again, the main office is in midtown Atlanta - and Columbus radio signals are heard there only when the morning temperature is unseasonably low.

A GPB engineer finally did some asking around, and explained the situation to me. WJSP is using a spot on the dial for translator signals, on loan from a religious network called "Way-FM." Isn't this strange? Christians are selling out to presumed liberals - and in the Bible Belt, no less.

BIG PREDICTION: One year from now, the phrase "Big Switch" will have a very different meaning - and refer to all celebrities who announce they're homosexual.

SONG OF THE DAY: We've even come up with a song to help you prepare for the Big Switch. Today we're at 96 days to go. And if the signal problems aren't resolved soon, we're going to be like oldies radio -- and cry 96 tears.

How did we do on "poker night" Thursday? Find out at the blog getting visits from around the world -- "On the Flop!"

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now to a Columbus court case you may have overlooked....

I felt I must write the blog in defense of Dr.Sammy Caves. He is a decent man who found himself in hard times due to others leaving him holding the bag. He would never intentionally try to defraud the federal gov't by holding back on his assets when declaring bankruptcy. Some people do not realize that Chapt 11 bankruptcy means you are going to pay off your debts and you take responsibility for them..That is the type of bankruptcy that Dr.Caves filed in court..I wish you could see the hands that would go up over Columbus if you asked: How many people got their braces from Dr.Caves when their parents hit hard times?. He either did it as a free service to help kids be proud of themselves or allowed small payments made over a period of time. Thank you Dr Caves for helping the kids of Columbus..

A check of the Ledger-Enquirer's web site shows Sammy Caves was sentenced to home confinement and probation in federal court last week. He pleaded guilty to "concealment of assets" - which a few years ago was a code phrase involving Jennifer Lopez's body.

Prosecutors say Dr. Sammy Caves filed for bankruptcy five years ago, but never disclosed in the filing that he owned a gold watch and 18 guns. If he was hiding that many weapons, he must have taken those "orange alerts" for national security very seriously.

Part of the sentencing for Dr. Sammy Caves involves providing $50,000 of free dental work to low-income residents. This is what makes the case especially puzzling - because if an orthodontist wanted to conceal valuable assets, wouldn't he hide a lot of gold teeth and braces?

We have a call pending regarding one other e-mail - so we'll move on to headlines, from an admittedly slow Thursday in the news:

+ Columbus State University students slept outside, in a campaign called "Homeless for a Night." Students at large colleges do this during the winter all the time - only they call it waiting in line for basketball tickets.

+ Alabama state records indicated 86.9 percent of Macon County voters preferred Barack Obama for President. Remember when President Bush went to Tuskegee and suggested the city improve a main highway? By next November, the city may have enough federal money to repair all of them.

+ The principal at Tallapoosa County's Reeltown High School confirmed he's barred displays of the Confederate battle flag. Tom Cochran also has asked students to avoid wearing Barack Obama T-shirts for a few weeks. These students need to learn a lesson - be like Columbus High School, and take your emotional screaming matches to the Internet.

+ Former presidential candidate John McCain appeared in Atlanta, on behalf of Senator Saxby Chambliss. Talk about a surprise! McCain's been so quiet since Election Night that I thought Sarah Palin's name would be the only one offered at the Electoral College.

+ The Associated Press reported Olympic swimming champion Michael Phelps was spotted at a Birmingham restaurant, with a former "Miss Alabama USA." This was a big news story on Troy Public Radio -- while I'm not sure it would even make the first section of TMZ these days. Well, unless they both wore swimsuits....

SCHEDULED THIS WEEKEND: Are we doomed, because of the Presidential election? We meet a man who sounds that way....

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