8 FEB 07: BYPASSED BY MANY
The penny-pinching side of me tends to look for the lowest prices when I shop at most stores -- or even wait for sales before I buy. But a convenience store cashier once told me things eventually even out. I learned this lesson Wednesday, in a very strange way. It's amazing how the people with the least money can be the biggest spenders....
BLOGGER BEGGAR #1 (in 2007): I backed out of the parking space in the wrong direction. Instead of going north out of the Walgreens parking lot in Phenix City, I went south. A yellow arrow on the pavement pointed against me. A big car had to wait on me. And a man walking behind the big car wouldn't mind waiting on my error one bit.
"Do you have a dollar? Trying to get something to eat," said an older man wearing a Philadelphia 76'ers ball cap. He waved at me before he said this - and blocked my path out of the store. Either I would feed him, or Summit Hospital would.
I pointed to a nearby open parking space, parked the car a second time and got out. "Let's go in here, and I'll buy you something to eat," I said to the man. Just throwing money at problems doesn't work, you know -- and that's sort of how Democrats won the last Congressional election.
The 76'er seemed surprised that I pointed him toward Walgreens, as opposed to Church's Chicken next door. "They have food there?"
"Yes, they have food there. So we'll go inside and I'll buy you something to eat. That's good, isn't it?" I'd been practicing this sort of line for months, since some beggars seem to prefer the approach of a hilarious old Woody Allen movie - "Take the Money and Run."
"I'm not supposed to go in there," the 76'er said - but he kept walking toward the Walgreens door.
"Why can't you go in there?"
"Some folks in this store don't me in there. They think I'm stealing." By this time we were inside Walgreens - yet no employee screamed at the beggar, or pushed an alarm to interrupt the oldies music on the public address system.
The 76'er didn't know where the Walgreens food was, so I escorted him to a far wall. His first stop was the frozen food cases, but he passed by the frozen pizzas. Perhaps he realized he'd need help in heating it - and those heating pads in the medicine section simply aren't big enough.
"I want one of those cups of ice cream. Is that too much for you?" the 76'er asked. Actually, it IS too much for me. I never eat pints of Haagan-Dazs. They're too pricy, except for two groups of people. Wives of mayors who have late-night hunger pangs, like one I remembered in Kansas City years ago -- and beggars.
I didn't catch which flavor of ice cream the 76'er selected, but his desire for "something to eat" didn't stop there. "I'd like to get some cookies," he said next. Truly I could relate to this man - the classic single guy.
The cookies were on the other side of the Walgreens aisle from the ice cream. But the 76'er walked straight ahead to the end of the aisle, never looking for them. I told them to walk back the other direction -- and when he reached the right area, I said "stop." He stopped there, proving he can be a good obedient employee for somebody.
The cookie shelves at Walgreens had Chips Deluxe boxes on sale, at four for four dollars. One-pound bags of Chips Ahoy were two for three dollars, with a coupon. But the 76'er chose boxes of Chips Ahoy and Oreo cookies instead. Remember, he wanted something to eat - and never asked for an economics lesson.
"I'd like some soda," the 76'er said next - and back across the aisle, the beverages waited. But I stopped him when he pulled out a bottle of Sunny D orange drink instead of orange soda. That probably was better for his health. But at this point, I was wondering if his health already was suffering from being unable to read.
"That's it," the 76'er said - so we joined the short checkout line. No one inside Walgreens had stopped us yet, so I asked a bit more about the employees who supposedly don't want him there. The beggar said some staff members thought he was stealing merchandise. The pockets of his jacket certainly didn't look that large....
In only a moment, I checked out of Walgreens for the second time in about ten minutes. The cashier never asked a question about my return trip. Maybe she had seen the beggar before, and knew this routine. Or perhaps it was because I wore sunglasses the second time, so she didn't recognize my T-shirt and running shorts.
The beggar's four items wound up costing me $8.40. The four items I had bought minutes before cost less than half that price. There's a big lesson here for all Walgreens shoppers - read the circular before you start.
"When did you start begging for food?" I asked the 76'er as we walked out of Walgreens.
"Just today."
"Why did you start today?"
"A man let me down. He'd promised to give me work." The renovation of Broad Street in Phenix City can't start soon enough.
"Can I ask you for one more favor?" the 76'er said before we even returned to my car.
"That depends on what it is." I once bought a beggar in downtown Atlanta lunch when he asked for a quarter -- and after lunch, his request to me went up to a dollar.
"Can you give me a ride up to the Ramada Hotel?" I had driven out of my way to stop at Walgreens - so I might as well aid that seven-cent jump in gas prices, which parts of Columbus had Wednesday.
It had a been a long while since my car had a passenger, so I had to clear away the front passenger's seat. As I did, the beggar said, "Your words are making sense to me."
"What have I said?" By helping a man find food in a store, I wasn't exactly being Doctor Phil McGraw.
The 76'er never really answered the matter of what I said, but he knew what he liked. "It's been a long time since I had Chips Ahoys. You want one?" What do you know - a beggar who actually believes in "share and share alike."
"I've got cookies in the back, which I'll have when I get home."
"I really like Walgreens," the beggar responded. For someone who likes the chain so much, he certainly didn't know his way around the store.
As we drove north on U.S. 280, the 76'er explained a bit more about the Walgreens employees who don't want him inside. "Have you ever been in a convenience store, where the cashier thinks she's the boss hog?" No, I really hadn't. When you're ready with your money at the counter, it doesn't seem to matter.
"I like this road," the 76'er continued. "It's straight. It takes you straight to where you want to go." Take that, you critics of Phenix City government - the city at least got the 280 Bypass right.
"It's hotter than h**l," the beggar went on. "It's in the sixties. It feels like summer." So maybe his hat meant he really was from Philadelphia.
The beggar pointed out where the Ramada Limited hotel was - but I already knew that, having passed it many times. He also pointed out a big pothole at the driveway entrance. At this point, I reminded him I actually DO have vision - otherwise, I could not legally drive.
"A lot of folks around here, they wouldn't help me," the 76'er said as we stopped outside the Ramada Limited. But maybe the friend he was meeting there would. The beggar said there was talk of getting a job cutting grass. Those red-hot 60-degree temperatures can make it grow quickly, you know.
The 76'er was thankful for my help - and shook my hand twice as he climbed out of my car with his mid-afternoon snack. He said he liked me. I said it was because I bought food for him. He didn't exactly deny that. But I wonder if the number of people looking for handouts around that Walgreens will go up today.
That was only one of the highlights of my day Wednesday. The other occurred during breakfast - with an on-air challenge from WRCG's Robbie Watson. She wanted a clever caption for the story of the astronaut who's charged with attempted murder. The best I could do on short notice was: "LOONY ORBITER."
I called Robbie Watson and WRCG's "TalkLine" in response to her challenge - and was stunned when she said, "You are a stud!" That was an absolute first for me. And I'm so humbled by this title that.... hey, wait a minute! Isn't "stud" where horses go when they're old and retired?!
In the midst of all this action, there was a little news Wednesday as well....
+ A source close to the case told your blog several of the "To Catch a Predator" suspects arrested in Fortson last summer will enter guilty pleas next week. What are the rest going to do - claim all those cameras were using trick photography?
+ The new manager of the Dyas car dealerships in Lee County announced he'll build an "auto mall" at the new West Paces Crossing development near Auburn. He'll also change the name of the dealerships to Lynch. So "Dyas" is dying - but you'd better not say it's a victim of Lynching....
+ The evening news reported Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue has a role in the upcoming Tim Allen comedy "Wild Hogs." This makes two movie roles for the Governor in four months - so he's off to a good start toward leaving office in 2010, to become a prosecutor on "Law and Order."
+ Dozens of local high school football players made college commitments on "National Signing Day." This always leaves me disappointed -- because no one at the ceremonies signs them for the hearing-impaired.
+ Columbus State won a wild men's basketball game over Georgia College, 104-103 in double overtime. Georgia College could have won, but missed four short shots in the final seconds of the extra periods. Maybe "shorts" are out of style, in more than men's clothing.
+ Instant Message to Ryan's restaurants: Let me get this straight. Your commercials now offer "SteakHouse Classics" seven days a week?! I can remember when you WERE a steak house. Does this have something to do with the 30th anniversary of "Roots?"
COMING SOON: An e-mail challenge to get up early in the morning....
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