2 FEB 07: KIDDIE COURT

A Russell County judge did something unusual Thursday - by holding a real court hearing at a grade school. I smell a new Saturday morning TV reality show in the making here....

Judge Michael Bellamy went to Oliver Elementary School, for the trial of a teacher accused of abusing a student. The case was heard in the school library - because a trial in the lunchroom would have been distracted by the smell of baking yeast rolls.

Judge Michael Bellamy decided to go directly to Oliver Elementary School, because several students had accused physical education teacher Odean Johnson of punching a classmate. By going to the school, he could determine if the children were telling the truth -- or trying to get a day off from class, to testify in court and get lunch at Tyler's.

WRBL reported the in-school trial took a surprising turn, when one of the three student witnesses admitted it was all a lie. One of the children apparently made up an abuse story, in hopes of getting Odean Johnson fired. For a grade-schooler to hatch a plot like this, he or she must be watching "The Office" too much.

After a morning of testimony from students, Judge Michael Bellamy decided Odean Johnson was NOT guilty of abuse. But I doubt he pounded a gavel after making this verdict - because as we all know, you're not supposed to make loud noises in a library.

When Odean Johnson was arrested on harassment charges last fall [29 Sep 06], she claimed she gave a "good-natured" punch to a student. The child who came up with this harassment story should have sold it better - by collapsing on the floor, as if he took a charge in basketball.

You may be surprised to learn Odean Johnson forgave the child who accused her of harassment. She explained it's the job of a teacher NOT to hold any grudges. OK, that's nice - but when she returns to work on Monday, I suspect the students will be counting the jumping jacks extra carefully.

But Odean Johnson's attorney was in a much less forgiving mood. Outside the courtroom - er, library room - Don Eddins said the children who made up the harassment story should receive serious discipline. Well, let's see: how close is Oliver Elementary School to Hurtsboro?

Don Eddins said many teachers live in constant fear that they'll be accused of mistreating students. I guess that's why the principal's office is the place with the five-foot-long paddles - or so the rumor goes....

Don Eddins added the acquittal of Odean Johnson is a victory for all Russell County schoolteachers. Eight faculty members were arrested during 2006. Johnson becomes the second teacher to be cleared. So now I'm wondering if some students are working with overseas terror groups. You arrest the smart people, then control the brains of the rest.

But what do you think of Judge Michael Bellamy's approach - having the trial of a teacher in a school library? This could start an interesting trend. For instance, accused illegal immigrants could be tried at El Vaquero -- and if they're convicted, at least they could enjoy one last U.S. meal.

BLOG UPDATE: National sports talk shows were yakking Thursday about an amazing comment from Alabama football coach Nick Saban. He used what some people consider a racial slur, in describing people from Louisiana. I'm only linking to it, not writing it - because I'd never even heard this slur before. At least not in "combination platter" form....

Nick Saban tried to explain he was telling a story he heard from someone else, which happened to include the "C-word." But he said it's "not language that I use or condone...." He doesn't use it - he simply repeats it?! That argument doesn't seem to work for people caught fencing stolen merchandise.

Nick Saban also argued he used the slur in remarks which were made "off the record." He should know better than to think he can use that as a "bailout" excuse. But then again, he's probably not following the federal trial of "Scooter" Libby.

Nick Saban has apologized for saying the "C-word" - so is that the end of it? Will Alabama Athletic Director Mal Moore discipline the football coach in some way? Or does this show once and for all who REALLY was put in charge with that big contract?

The news about "Nasty Nick" (as British tabloids would call him) came on the day Alabama football officially came off NCAA probation. It now has a full compliment of scholarships again - but probably will have a hard time using any in Louisiana.

Now for other items from a Thursday which was rainy, but thankfully not icy:

+ A blog reader's tip led us to WRBL's midday webcast - where it seems a blooper was NOT edited out, before it was posted. Is someone there making a second income, by selling funny videos to AOL?

+ The front page of the Ledger-Enquirer promised the premiere of its own 4:00 p.m. webcast. But I checked the web site around 5:00, and couldn't find it -- so maybe its idea of a "webcast" comes from TV news. If you tune in too late, you've missed it....

(Well, check that: the webcast WAS there at our post time. But you apparently need Quicktime on your computer to see it. And with my dial-up service, it's more like Slowtime.)

+ Officials from the National Infantry Museum told WRCG's "Talkline" construction of World War II Street at the complex is almost ready. The work crew probably was waiting for Thursday's rain, to make the road muddy enough for Jeeps to sink in properly.

+ The commander of the Third Infantry Division announced a temporary suspension of any soldiers leaving duty. Gen. Rick Lynch wrote in a Fort Stewart newspaper it's a "stop-loss stop-move" order. This is different from the dozens of U.S. Senators who are saying, "stop-period."

+ First Baptist Church held its annual "Sportsman's Dinner," with Larry Mize as the guest speaker. I'm not sure why a golfer was invited to speak at a Sportsman's Dinner -- unless he hit a lot of birdies and eagles last year.

+ Instant Message to anyone who might pay attention to what groundhogs "predict" today: If you believe in that AND what Al Gore says about global warming, you need some serious counseling.

COMING THIS WEEKEND: How I almost put a blog reader in "rehab"....

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