The Blog of Columbus, Georgia

29 SEP 06: SCHOOLS DAZED

The news about area schools Thursday was not very good, to put it mildly. Two students were arrested in Columbus for having weapons. We learned another teacher was arrested in Russell County. And who knows how many young baseball players received dinner invitations from coaches in their e-mail?

Columbus police arrested two Hardaway High School students, on charging of bringing weapons to school. One student admitted it looked strange, to see classmates led away in handcuffs. Why, of course - since I'm not sure that ever happens in "Grand Theft Auto."

Columbus police say one student brought a loaded .380 pistol to Hardaway High School, and showed it off to classmates. Truly, this teenager was not smart. Your National Rifle Association membership card or hunting license should suffice.

Further investigation indicated another Hardaway student had a two-and-a-half-inch long knife. At Jordan High School, this might be acceptable - since that magnet program includes woodworking.

Muscogee County Deputy Superintendent Robin Pennock said she's not really shocked anymore, by reports of students carrying weapons at school. That's really a shame - because in days gone by, they'd only be carried to fights deep in the woods.

Meanwhile, Russell County Sheriff's officers revealed Thursday another teacher had been arrested. Odean Johnson is a physical education teacher at Oliver Elementary School, and stands accused of punching a student. Well, I suppose teaching boxing skills is a good alternative to carrying weapons....

A sheriff's report accuses Odean Johnson of punching an Oliver Elementary fifth-grader in the head last week. Johnson claims the punch was intended to be good-natured -- but fathers who press charges tend to be just the opposite.

Odean Johnson surrendered at the Russell County Jail Tuesday night, on misdemeanor harassment charges. How will she explain a punch to a student's head - by claiming a Three Stooges defense?

Some parents of Oliver Elementary students said Thursday Odean Johnson should be considered innocent until proven guilty. But others said the arrest was not surprising, because Johnson has a reputation for being tough. All my old physical education teachers ever did was make us run wind sprints for an extra half-hour.

If you've lost count, we're now at eight arrests of Russell County School faculty members this calendar year. They're only three away from taking on the high school football team, in a real-life version of "The Longest Yard."

If all this isn't enough, today's Opelika-Auburn News reports a videotape has surfaced of girls changing clothes at Beulah High School. So?! If WLGA TV-66 is preparing a local show called "Beulah's Next Top Model," what's the problem?

But wait, there's more! The front page of Thursday's Ledger-Enquirer warned of a "crisis" in Muscogee County schools due to a lack of bus drivers. This calls for a major recruitment drive. Get the "Yella Fella" to drive a yellow bus for a week....

E-MAIL UPDATE: This e-mail from Thursday will allow us to update a message we received Wednesday:

I'd be willing to bet that if Lonnie Jackson had been a retired Colonel instead of a retired Sergeant his memorial service would have been attended by many city officials. It seems that retired sergeants don't get any respect from the "bigwigs" regardless of their accomplishments.

Whoever is responsible for the big debate at the RiverCenter should realize that without Bert Coker the mayoral debate will be very boring. Can you imagine folks listening to Poydasheff bragg incessantly and Wetherington say he's not privey to that information as a respone to every question. But then again, maybe they realize that Bert Coker would "show up" the two major candidates when he explains things to the citizens in a way they can understand and offers solutions to problems.

By the way, as I understand it he did "qualify" to run for mayor and receive votes, just not in the "usual" way of paying $1,800. But he did follow the procedures that the law requires.Therefore he should be allowed in the debate. And since he hasn't received thousands of dollars in campaign contributions from "special interests" he would not owe these individuals anything when he was elected and therefore would be free to do what is in the best interest of all the people and the city. Oh my gosh. That sounds too good doesn't it?

We can't have that! Our system of government is based on politicians taking care of their financial supporters.

Kudos to Bert for taking the time and effort to do something that most citizens won't do.

Political Observer

Taking first things first: Thursday's Ledger-Enquirer reported several city officials DID attend Lonnie Jackson's funeral. Mayor Bob Poydasheff spoke. City Manager Isaiah Hugley attended. And Phenix City Mayor Jeff Hardin apparently didn't expect the service to be in his town, or he might have shown up as well.

As for the mayor's race: Aw c'mon - how can you say a Bob Poydasheff-Jim Wetherington debate would be boring? They've already appeared together at two candidate forums, which occurred at community breakfasts. I haven't heard of any spectators getting hurt, by their heads nodding off on the tables.

I'll grant you that Burt Coker "qualified" to be a write-in candidate for Mayor. But by not paying the $1,800 filing fee, does that make him the candidate of sound fiscal management -- or a penny-pinching cheapskate?

Here's one more e-mail - from our occasional Smiths Station writer:

The cans are here, The cans are here,

The much awaited time for curb service is upon us now. If for some reason you do not have your Green Can bye this Friday - your can must have gone awall (g).

Is there going to be a ceremony from the City Council to announce the start of a clean City..

Whom will be the first one to have their trashed picked. where are they going to start Monday (g).

Are they going to refuse to pickup the can if the outside of the can is dirty.

Are Lee County Deputies going to need pickup trucks to find lost or stolen Cans........where will the reward come from.

Will awards be given out for the cleanest can each Month.....

decisions, decisions, decision's

Wow, am I ever impressed by this! Suddenly the "Can Man" trend has hit everyone in Smiths Station.

CORRECTED: From this rather fragmented message, I get the feeling curbside trash pickup begins next week in Smiths Station. I understand people won't be allowed to use a city dump anymore. But unlike Marion County, I haven't heard any complaints about this change - and nothing about a "dump stir."

Hopefully no one would steal a green curbside trash can in Smiths Station. After all, why would anyone want to take one - unless he's planning the biggest picnic in Lee County history, and needs a drink cooler to match.

Now let's discard of other items we discovered Thursday:

+ An employee of Woody's World coin shop on Manchester Expressway was arrested. Columbus police say he tried to switch some expensive coins brought in by a customer, for coins of less value. What was this suspect thinking? The Alabama quarter has braille bumps, which give it away as different from Rhode Island.

+ Chattahoochee Valley Library System Director Claudya Muller presented a "State of the Library" address - but only after a musical group called "The Porch Pickers" performed. You know, she may be on to something here. Maybe hip-hop groups should perform between questions of the mayoral debate, to liven things up.

+ The Muscogee County Library Board voted to begin negotiations to buy the Firestone store just outside the main library. There's a part of me which hopes Firestone is NOT torn down. With books so close for following what maintenance workers are supposed to do, it could be the most honest car repair shop in Columbus.

+ President Bush visited the Birmingham area, praising the city of Hoover for using "E-85 ethanol" fuel in its vehicles. But whose voice was that aboard Air Force One saying, "I thought E-85 went through Opelika"?!

+ Auburn University stayed unbeaten in college football, surviving South Carolina 24-17. For all the statistics they showed on TV and mentioned on radio, there was one I wanted to hear and never did. How many times did South Carolina Coach Steve Spurrier throw his visor?

(Thanks to an onside kick, Auburn had the ball on offense for the entire third quarter -- yet only scored three points. This is why "keep away" never made it beyond the grade school playground, to become a professional sport.)

+ Carmike Cinemas showed the Auburn-South Carolina game on a giant movie screen at Columbus Park Crossing. WRBL indicated the theater was packed. But if they don't have good-looking servers offering discounts on pitchers of beer, I'm not really sure of the point.

+ Instant Message to WVRK-FM "Rock 103": Are you kidding? Can announcers say they're getting "totally smashed," while they're live on location in Lee County? Which company is your station's official taxi service?

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Daily blogging will diminish over the next couple of weeks, as we prepare for a fall vacation.)

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28 SEP 06: CLUB MED

The Landings shopping center on Sidney Simons Boulevard can be a busy place on weekend nights. No fewer than three nice restaurants are located on the south side of Airport Thruway - and that's not counting the "Big K mart" grill which still may be open.

I received a taste of the action at The Landings the other night - and wound up at the busiest restaurant of all. It surprisingly was NOT the new "Chop House," where the Texas Steakhouse used to be. I guess that's what happens when Atlanta finally misses the baseball playoffs....

There was a 20-minute wait for a table on a Friday night at the Mediterranean Café. I've wanted to dine there for a long time, but a church group changed its plans last spring after the restaurant lost its liquor license for a while. Yes, this church group drinks without shame - but don't you dare ask it to take a salad with real bacon bits on top.

The Mediterranean Café has its liquor license back now, which meant I could wait for my table next door at the Suite 23 bar. "There's no waiting in there," a man told me as I stood outside by myself. The man seemed so concerned, I almost asked if he was the bartender.

"I'm OK," I told the man.

"But there's no waiting!" he pressed on. "They're connected!" I'd never met the man before. I'd never dined at Mediterranean Café before. For all I knew, he could be drunk and lying. Or this might be a homosexual bar - with one desperate customer.

"I can get a drink with dinner," I said quietly to the man. He left after that - apparently not used to someone who's willing to be patient.

So I had 20 minutes to wait, I walked around the Sidney Simons part of The Landings. I confirmed Que Pasa Burrito Company has shut down. It's so tempting to say this restaurant concept ran out of gas....

The 20-minute wait wound up being closer to 40, so I stepped inside Mediterranean Café and sat down in the lobby. A military group was there, as were a couple of families. One mom urged a little daughter: "Go to the window and say goodbye to Lexus." I didn't dare turn to see if that was the name of another girl - or a fancy car near the door.

I'd given the Mediterranean Café's desk crew my last name when I first arrived. But only when I finished a magazine article I was reading and looked up did a woman ask if I was ready for a table. Was she actually waiting on me, even before I had a table?

Once I had that table, I checked the Mediterranean Café's menu. It quickly became clear to me several items would NOT be available on this night. They were served on "a bed of fresh spinach" - and after the recent contamination scare, I'm not sure Popeye is even daring to try that for awhile.

Something else was not available for awhile on this night: glassware. My first soft drink was brought to me in a Styrofoam cup, because no glasses were available for a short time. I tried to reassure the waiter that at least I still had mine -- the glasses I wear for reading.

The evening specials on the Mediterranean Café's lobby board cost between 15 and 17 dollars -- but the menu has a good range of dishes which cost several dollars less. I ordered Chicken Balsamico for $12.95, which came with a "Greek salad" appetizer. Feta cheese on fresh lettuce made the side cup of dark dressing practically unnecessary - so it was a feta-complete.

The Mediterranean Café also serves muffin-sized loaves of bread with dinner, which you can dip in a spicy tomato sauce. It was a bit like Domino's Pizza, only nowhere near as crusty.

Meanwhile, it turned out Suite 23 WAS attached to Mediterranean Café - just up a ramp. A man was playing four decades of pop songs on this night, but one scoffer walked by my table calling it "music in an empty bar." So maybe that man who approached me outside the bar was looking for a receptive audience.

At last the main dish came - and Chicken Balsamico is a good meal for the money. Grilled chicken is served with plump mushrooms and melted cheese on a bed of rice. The plate was so big and packed that I eventually reminded the waiter of what I might say at the Taco Bell being rebuilt down the street: "I'm full."

(I left some rice on my plate, but decided it wasn't worth the trouble to take it home with me. One of these days, the chefs might need it - if they come up with an Italian-style meat loaf.)

With a drink and tip, I dined at Mediterranean Café for about 18 dollars. It seemed nice and intimate -- and affordable, compared with similar restaurants with that format. I could understand why it had people waiting outside on a weekend, while Japanese and U.S. steak houses up the sidewalk did not. Now if they can only find a clapboard, for that guy outside the bar....

E-MAIL UPDATE: As Lonnie Jackson was buried at Fort Benning Wednesday, we found this e-mail about Tuesday's tribute at Vietnam Veterans Memorial Park:

Today I went to the memorial of Lonnie Jackson. I didn't know him but, when he would take inmates out to the Veteran's Memorial, he would feed them, befriend them and make them feel like human beings for a while. He did a LOT for this sh**t* city but not one city official showed up to show Columbus' appreciation. They always talk about wanting people to volunteer for everything from literacy to trash pickup; yet, one gets this feeling of being unwelcome or feeling stupid when they do. Well, no more proof in the world was needed to substantiate this fact, than not one soul, from our city government, stepped up to commemerate this man's service. At Lonnie Jackson's memorial this afternoon, the speaker asked if anyone from the city government was there to speak (as if not expecting anyone anyway) and of course, no Columbus elite came forth. After decades of service and kindness, this man was acknowledged by his family, friends and pastors. Praises are due this man and shame on this city.

Perhaps no one from city government attended Tuesday's memorial, but I noticed from watching TV that at least two school board members were at the Vietnam Veterans' Wall. Perhaps they realized how much worse Muscogee County test scores would be, without all those tutorial programs.

It's possible Columbus city officials went to Tuesday's visitation for Lonnie Jackson. I didn't notice any familiar government faces at Wednesday's funeral service, from watching the coverage on WRBL. In fact, the only familiar face I spotted was Fourth Street Baptist Church Pastor J.H. Flakes -- and I must say, there's never much trash to pick up around his building.

For some reason, the funeral for Lonnie Jackson was held at Franchise Missionary Baptist Church in Phenix City. So the slow trend away from Columbus continues - although it seems odd comparing Lonnie Jackson to a professional wrestling troupe....

I didn't realize until this e-mail arrived that Lonnie Jackson took inmates to the Vietnam Veterans' Memorial Park. If you can't get groups to volunteer and serve, you find "volunteers" who have no choice in the matter.

By the way, did you notice the picture of Lonnie Jackson at Tuesday night's memorial service? It showed him wearing a Georgia Tech hat - which seemed strange, because I always saw him wearing hats recalling his years in the Army. I can't help wondering if Jackson had a personal rivalry with Jim Rhodes, to have the biggest cap closet.

BLOG UPDATE: Maybe the candidates for Columbus Mayor missed the memorial because they're too busy campaigning. Well, make that SHOULD BE busy campaigning. A TV news reporter took pictures of the main contenders around town Wednesday -- and many people didn't recognize either one! So much for my buying ad time on the government access cable channel....

One ordinary resident was shown a picture of mayoral challenger Jim Wetherington, and thought he was Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue. No, these two candidates are very different. For one thing, absolutely no one expects Wetherington to promise a tax cut.

Jim Wetherington was asked about the comparison with Sonny Perdue, and he said he's "not ready to run for Governor." He's not?!?! Wetherington spent time as Georgia's Corrections Commissioner - and people have run for Governor with less government experience than that. Not that it helped Guy Millner, of course....

Mayor Bob Poydasheff seemed a bit embarrassed when he learned some people didn't recognize his face. He said in the last four years, he's been "everywhere." Of course, some folks would say that's the problem - because he's taken a couple of vacations outside the country.

(Aren't people noticing the billboards around town with Mayor Poydasheff's face? Or have political signs become the latest victim of drivers with cell phones?)

With 40 days left before Election Day, some people are surprised there hasn't been more aggressive campaigning by the candidates for mayor. But that's what makes Columbus a "town" and not a city. Even the attack ads start a little slower here.

Jim Wetherington says he plans to run TV commercials, but not until the last three weeks of the campaign. I can see it now. Wetherington's ads will appear during "Cops," while Bob Poydasheff's ads promoting another city sales tax will appear during "The Price is Right."

Someone else who saw that report about the candidates for mayor vented to us about it quickly:

I just watch WTVM 6 O'clock news and the story about the Columbus ' Mayor's race. They only mentioned 2 candidates running, they only interviewed 2 candidates, they only announced 2 candidates to be at the debate coming up in October. I keep saying 2 because of the comments Paul made on that One sided talk radio.

When Paul mentioned about WTVM Lee Brantley leaving out The write in Candidate for Columbus Mayor's race, the Female Host basically called him a liar, over and over.

Paul is correct and the Radio Talk show is only there to Promote the current Mayor, that is Crystal Clear.

Bert already has his back against the wall and for stunts like to this show up, you have to ask yourself - why try here any more

from

Pist off listener and viewer

From what I'm hearing, Paul is correct. Burt Coker will NOT be part of the October 19 debate at the RiverCenter - and the reason is because he IS a write-in candidate, who didn't file for mayor in the "usual way" the other two did. If you don't decide to run on time, how long might police officers be kept waiting for a raise?

And besides - have YOU seen Burt Coker's picture anywhere since he announced the write-in campaign? If ordinary citizens can't identify the incumbent mayor, Coker might as well be running with a wrestling mask on.

SCHEDULED FRIDAY: A city near Columbus develops green can fever....

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27 SEP 06: A 6-3 VICTORY?

Today's candidate for quote of the year comes from Russell County Commissioner J.D. Upshaw. On Tuesday he said: "Being fair doesn't mean you have to be fair all at the same time." Either he's ready to write a parenting column for Family Circle magazine -- or he was sneakily promoting opening day of the Greater Columbus Fair.

J.D. Upshaw said these words after a closely-watched vote by the Russell County Commission. A county budget was approved which did NOT give Sheriff Tommy Boswell the 20-percent raise he requested for his staff. The deputies and their wives now will have to wait for Alabama's Governor to make it a campaign promise.

The Russell County Commission voted 7-2 for a compromise budget, which gives sheriff's deputies and jailers a six-percent raise. Everyone else on the county payroll will receive three percent more. Only one percent more for the deputies, and we might conclude the commission was inspired by the Louisiana State-Auburn game.

J.D. Upshaw cast one of the two votes against the compromise Russell County budget. He apparently wanted the entire sheriff's department to have a six percent raise, not only the deputies and jailers. But look on the bright side - now the office clerks have even more incentive to take target practice.

The other vote against the Russell County budget came from Mervin Dudley. He wanted a three-percent raise across the board, with no special treatment for deputies and jailers. Mr. Dudley had better hope for a similar response, if a deputy ever pulls him over for speeding.

But of course, the compromise Russell County budget did not please Sheriff Tommy Boswell. He wanted a 20-percent pay raise for his department, and received less than half of it. So will his warning come true? Will Mr. Boswell move to Columbus, and run for Muscogee County Sheriff in 2008?

It's curious to note that while Phenix City and Russell County complain of tight budgets, things are very different down the road in Eufaula. The City Council there will vote next week on giving some police officers a 12.4 percent raise. And that's for working in a city with NO notorious nightclubs....

The Eufaula Tribune reports that city's budget proposal would give police a big raise in several pieces. Certified officers would receive $1,500 more in April, then public safety workers would receive an extra three-percent boost in June. I never realized that spring Eufaula Pilgrimage could be so stressful.

So what makes Eufaula so different from Phenix City and Russell County? Mayor Jay Jaxon says sales tax money in the city is up significantly this fiscal year. This is why more fish need to be put in the Idle Hour Park pond....

But I want to go back to our quote of the day from J.D. Upshaw. Can you really "be fair," without being fair "all at the same time?" I mean, does this explain that Fox News Sunday interview with former President Clinton?

Now for other Tuesday thoughts, about things fair and otherwise:

+ The Greater Columbus Fair opened - and for the first time that I can remember, no TV station went to South Commons to report on opening night. Even with a memorial service, Lonnie Jackson steals the spotlight again....

(Is it good for news reporters to ignore the Greater Columbus Fair? I mean, what if someone measures the Exchange Club's foot-long hot dogs and finds they're only nine inches long?)

+ Fort Benning announced the South Lumpkin Road entrance will close permanently in late October. That's the entrance right down the road from the planned National Infantry Museum - so what's going on here? Is Benning afraid a big rush of patriotic visitors will march out of the Imax Theater and storm in?

+ Wal-Mart executives revealed the SuperCenter in Midland has yet to start construction, because of delays in obtaining easements. The more time nearby residents have to sell their homes, the happier they'll be.

+ The Muscogee County Prison Warden showed Columbus Council a trophy he received, for having the top "county correction facility" of the year in Georgia. Somehow, I have a feeling the Marion County Jail will NOT win this award next year....

(There must be a reason why the top correctional facility is awarded a trophy and not a wall plaque. It gives the warden an extra weapon, in case a revolt breaks out.)

+ The Russell County School Board approved Vivian Carter as its new superintendent. The hiring will not become final until a contract is negotiated - and probably until after the board conducts three separate criminal background checks.

+ The Opelika-Auburn News revealed Beulah High School teacher Constance Rosenblatt was arrested last week for drunk driving - on school grounds. Isn't it a little early to do these Red Ribbon Week demonstrations?

+ Briggs and Stratton announced it will lay off 200 Auburn employees at the end of the week. Sales of the company's generators are in a slump, because we haven't had any hurricanes this year. Maybe we should show compassion for these workers, by giving gas stations 20 extra cents for every gallon of gas we pump.

+ Georgia football coach Mark Richt said he'll probably use two quarterbacks in Saturday's game at Mississippi, but he still hasn't decided which one will start. This may not come down to which player takes the most snaps, but which one does the most suck-ups.

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26 SEP 06: A REAL BACKBREAKER

Oh no! First Riverfest is canceled for next year -- and now Columbus apparently has lost another professional sport! If we didn't know better, we'd think Hugo Chavez had become mayor and everyone was protesting....

The latest "sport" to leave Columbus is professional wrestling. The wrestling news web site of Steve Gerweck reported Monday "Great Championship Wrestling" is moving its matches -- all the way to Phenix City! Add this to Club Roc and the Wal-Mart SuperCenter, and people will start saying, "WHAT Park Crossing?!"

For more than two years Great Championship Wrestling matches have been held (I wouldn't dare write "staged") in the old Burnham Industries building near Cooper Creek Park. In fact, it was converted into the "GCW Sports Arena" -- but for some reason, the promoters never added an ice rink so the Cottonmouths could practice there.

But the whole wrestling equation apparently had a reversal Saturday night. The Gerweck web site reports GCW now has new owners, who plan to move the matches across the river. But maybe this had to happen. Maybe when WWE wrestlers appeared at the Columbus Civic Center three weeks ago, the promoters had their own "loser leaves town" match.

GCW fans reportedly were told over the weekend weekly wrestling cards now will take place at the recently-closed Phenix City Skate-a-Rama on the 280 Bypass. In fact, the rink may reopen on other nights of the week - so people who aren't good enough to wrestle could become roller derby stars instead.

But there's another big switch in the works at Great Championship Wrestling - as the weekly matches will move from Saturday nights to Wednesdays. The new owners reportedly believe there's too much competition from other local events on Saturdays. So this is a major victory for the Columbus Symphony Orchestra....

(Somebody's gotta ask it: what are these new owners thinking? There's plenty of competition in Columbus on Wednesday nights as well -- called prayer meetings.)

For all the talk of Columbus being a wrestling town, Steve Gerweck's web site notes attendance at GCW matches has been rather small. Last Saturday night's card attracted about 350 fans. Yeow - I think even the Columbus Catfish do better than that, on nights with regular-priced beer.

The report from Steve Gerweck's web site notes the changes were announced at the third annual "Fred Ward Memorial" wrestling card -- and the new owners are taking over for the "retired" Jerry Oates. One famous wrestling name in Columbus is dead, while another is retiring. The next "legends" event might require Dan Masters to take a night off from "The Edge" magazine.

In a way, I can see why Great Championship Wrestling is moving to a different location. For one thing, suppose a Texas Death Match gets out of hand. The former Skate-a-Rama on the 280 Bypass is close to that new hospital....

And this move of pro wrestling to Phenix City is a big win for Mayor Jeff Hardin, just one year before he's up for reelection. He campaigned on getting a theater in the city - and now he has theatre of a very different sort.

On the other hand, how could the city of Columbus possibly let a wrestling troupe get away like this? I mean, the Saints were persuaded to stay in New Orleans after the hurricane. Where was the financial incentive package, negotiated by the Chamber of Commerce?

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION was changed Monday afternoon, and now pits the candidates for Columbus Mayor against each other. We'll see if the loss of professional wrestling has a major impact on the vote - although the addition of write-in Burt Coker might have almost as much impact.

It's six weeks until Election Day, and some people are telling me they expected "more fireworks" from the mayor's race by now. Perhaps this poll will stir up the powder keg a bit - but then again, we ARE in a city where the only legal fireworks are sparklers.

Our last Big Blog Question ends with 57 percent of you (4-3) supporting the "Can Man." They said it's OK for my neighbors at the apartment complex to leave beer cans outside on the ground, for wandering collectors to pick up. We should alert "Keep Columbus Beautiful" that we do NOT track the IP addresses of our voters -- so don't even ask.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Back to the world of entertainment for a moment:

For some red light entertainment on a Sunday go to the intersection of Macon and University and watch the teen selling newspapers .. He dances better than Michael Jackson...

Hmmmm - OK, if you say so. But when I saw the words "red light entertainment," I thought this writer was going to recommend a strip club on Victory Drive.

It's a long wait until next Sunday, so for now you'll have to settle for these short items from Monday:

+ Which local activist sent e-mails all over Columbus, with a title saying the person's group "mourns the LOST of Lonnie Jackson"? Maybe this activist needs to spend a couple of Saturday mornings in tutorial English at Eastway School.

+ Max Wilkes told WRBL he was fired last week as Phenix City's Municipal Court Clerk, only six months short of his retirement. This has to sting a little - especially every time he drives past a "TitleMax" business, and realizes he doesn't have one anymore.

(Phenix City Council member John Storey explained Max Wilkes was released because the city budget is tight - and besides, Wilkes was paid $30,000 more than he should have been due to a city error. So Wilkes already has his city pension money, if he hurries up and puts it in the bank....)

+ The wives of several Russell County sheriff's deputies gathered outside the county courthouse for a small protest. From what I saw on TV, these women have every right to complain about a lack of income - because they can't afford to visit top-dollar hairstylists.

(One business with a big marquee along the 280 Bypass has put up the words: "WE SUPPORT OUR SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT." That's nice to remember -- because if the county commission doesn't approve big raises, it may have to provide support. The financial kind....)

+ Crews set up the Greater Columbus Fair for today's grand opening. Robin Walker with the Columbus Civic Center promised this year's fair will have something new. Hmmmm - how many calories does a reduced-fat funnel cake have?

+ The Historic Columbus Foundation announced instead of Riverfest next year, it will bring a big-name speaker to town for a November fundraiser. How about Bill Cosby? He could take issue with some of the musical acts presented at Riverfest in recent years.

+ Alabama gubernatorial candidate Lucy Baxley spoke at a Democratic Party rally in Phenix City. WXTX "News at Ten" showed Baxley holding a copy of incumbent Bob Riley's "plan for change." If a Republican was given a Democrat's campaign book, it probably would be burned to a crisp by now.

+ The LaGrange Daily News reported on Zeek Cofield of Callaway High School - who was crowned Homecoming King last Friday night at halftime, then returned the second-half kickoff at the football game 99 yards for a touchdown. Now there's a man who REALLY wants a second dance with the Homecoming Queen.

+ Former University of Georgia coach Vince Dooley spoke at the Columbus Quarterback Club - and said yes, the Bulldogs DO have a quarterback controversy right now. Hearing these words from Dooley seems a bit like some hearing retired Army generals talk down the mission in Iraq.

+ The Atlanta Falcons fell to New Orleans 23-3, at the grand reopening of the Superdome. One week after Michael Koenen had two field goals blocked, Morten Andersen watched the Saints block an attempt from 25 yards. That settles it -- the Falcons need a better holder.

+ Instant Message to Falcons radio announcer Wes Durham: Are you sure about that? You said Roman Harper of New Orleans was a three-year starter at Alabama under "Coaches Shula, Franchione and Price." Was Mike Price in Tuscaloosa long enough to even NAME any starters?

Today's main topic was the result of a blog reader's tip. To offer a story tip, advertise here to thousands of monthly visitors or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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for 25 SEP 06: ARE YOU SO INCLINED?

Today you get to join me in playing detective. We've posted three pictures as clues in our "Monday Mystery," and your job is to figure out what it all means. There's no prize if you're the first person to figure out the answer - but there may be openings soon for investigators on the Russell County Sheriff's Department.

We'll discuss the pictures below -- so no peeking! While you ponder them, let's get other things out of the way....

E-MAIL UPDATE: An e-mailer seemed ready for some fall housecleaning on Sunday:

I'm not voting for anyone in Columbus in any office to return to that position..from the school board, to the city council, to the mayor's chair...I think they have all let down the voters of Columbus. The next mind boggling future political move would be for Hughley to run for mayor and Phillips to run for city manager..

I agree with you - that scenario WOULD be mind-boggling. For one thing, the City Manager's job isn't an elected office.

You have to give credit to the Hugley family for one thing: it's NOT all in one aspect of government. Isaiah Hugley is City Manager. Carolyn Hugley is a State House member. Patricia Hugley Green serves on the Muscogee County School Board. So you'd think one could mediate between the other two....

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: Four women are sitting together at a nice Columbus restaurant. The conversation bounces from Auburn University football to Sunday morning habits.

"I have a routine.... read the newspaper about 9:30, then feed Blu...."

"Who's Blu?"

"That's my dog."

"You ought to get another dog, and name it Orange."

"Except the name is spelled B-L-A-Y-E-W."

AND NOW.... Back to our Monday mystery. I came upon all these clues under the Oglethorpe Bridge, at the end of a Sunday morning run. And no, there was no homeless person sleeping nearby who might have been able to explain it.

Notice the small ramp leading from the street to the sidewalk. The corner of Fourth and Broadway is near the Oglethorpe Bridge, and the sidewalks on that corner are NOT wheelchair accessible. But this ramp is so narrow, it probably won't even hold a child who eats dinner at Bludau's -- assuming one actually would ask to eat there.

There are a few wheelchair-accessible parking spaces on the south side of the Oglethorpe Bridge, anyway - so what's the deal with this ramp? Notice next the crumpled yellow bag nearby. It's a bag of "Kwikrete" instant concrete mix - as if someone used it to build the ramp recently. Yet it's not tall enough for a terrorist to reach up, and unscrew bolts on the bridge.

There's a big incline from the sidewalk beyond the ramp, to the underside of the Oglethorpe Bridge. But c'mon now - why would someone need a two-inch running start from off the curb to reach that?

The answer to all this may be found from the sticker on one of the bridge pillars. Notice it pictures a roller skate. At least that's easier to remove than the gang graffiti, which has been painted over on the big incline....

After putting these clues together, I've reached the conclusion that Columbus skateboarders have marked off their new "turf." I've seen some of them practicing stunts under the Oglethorpe Bridge in recent weeks. Now they've apparently built their own concrete ramp - as if someone's father needed two-by-fours to build a new deck.

It's one thing to bring your own items to a spot, and work on skateboard moves. It's another thing to build your own ramp out of instant concrete. My next conclusion is that these boarders must be from Jordan High School's industrial arts program....

Skateboarders also have used the Olympic monument near Golden Park to practice their maneuvers recently. It's as if they're looking for alternatives to the Christopher Columbus statue on the Riverwalk. Maybe some tourist came up to them, and challenged them to actually name the themes on the four sides.

But building your own ramp under the Oglethorpe Bridge - and out of concrete, at that - says several things about these skateboarders:

1. It's the next best thing to a commitment ceremony.

2. They need to be recruited, to help with House of Heroes construction projects.

3. If the city needs to lay off more workers to increase public safety pay, the skateboarders could be "interns" with a public works crew -- maybe building that proposed skate park.

Now a quick check of other Sunday discoveries:

+ The price of gasoline dropped again in parts of Columbus, falling to $2.17 per gallon in the downtown area. When the price doesn't go up for The Greater Columbus Fair, I can start to understand why some people are suspicious.

+ The Ledger-Enquirer printed a guest column about the Springer Opera House's 135^th anniversary - purportedly written by a "Springer O. House!" This is only going to reinforce those silly ghost stories....

+ On "The Mark Richt Show," the Georgia football coach refused to name a starting quarterback for next weekend's game against Mississippi. He said the team has "three or even four guys who can do the job." So is there someone on the roster who hasn't played yet?! Or is Richt trying to arrange a trade with Washington of the N.F.L. for Jason Campbell?

(Asked if Georgia had a quarterback controversy, Richt said he's calling it a "quarterback competition." It's only a controversy, of course, if a sports reporter says it is - and that may depend on how tasty the press box food was in Athens last Saturday.)

+ Instant Message to Radio Shack at Cross Country Plaza: That was a radio station on your public address system, right?! I mean, playing "You're Never Gonna Get It" at a retail store like yours doesn't exactly send a vote of confidence to your customers.

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24 SEP 06: ACTION JACKSON

The barrel was sideways - not the direction it should be. And it was in the middle of the street, which was apparently not the place it should be. There was no pothole below it - even though it was on Dillingham Street, which has been so busy with construction this year that it's a wonder the east end of the old bridge hasn't collapsed.

I saw this woebegone barrel blocking the eastbound lane of Dillingham Street while making a Friday twilight run. I decided to keep running west, and fix things on the way back if no one else had. At 6:30 p.m. on a Friday, no construction workers were around -- and some probably were on their third rounds at Broadway bars.

When I jogged back across the Dillingham Street Bridge, I decided to stop for the barrel -- and the late Lonnie Jackson came to mind. He died Thursday of cancer, after spending years working to improve his part of Columbus. And now, I could be like him in two ways - solving a problem, then publicizing it in any way I could.

While Lonnie Jackson did a lot as head of the Combined Communities of Southeast Columbus, he also made sure people knew what he did. He was quite a self-promoter. When you fill out a "Nine Special Friends" application for yourself, as Jackson reportedly did -- well, self-promotion is one way to describe it....

If you've attended the Columbus International Festival, you may have seen Lonnie Jackson's self-promotion. He didn't have a single booth on the second floor of the Civic Center. He had two or three, with tables full of plaques and awards Jackson and his group had received. I sometimes wondered if Jackson kept them all in his trunk - ready to impress anyone he saw.

Working in television news, I took many calls from Lonnie Jackson. He wanted to be on newscasts talking about his group's next project. He wanted to make sure reporters went to his events. And if one ceremony at Vietnam Veterans Memorial Park was missed, he'd declare it an insult to every veteran in town - even if thousands of them didn't show up.

(Lonnie Jackson was SO hands-on that I called him in 2004 to ask about a Kenneth Walker protest event at Vietnam Veterans Memorial Park - and I was shocked when he didn't know anything about it.)

The last call I took from Lonnie Jackson occurred in August. He was taken aback to learn managers now had to approve all guests appearing at one broadcast outlet. Jackson's reputation truly preceded him - and he sometimes tried to use it to his advantage.

(So when Lonnie Jackson's death made the top of the front page of Friday's Ledger-Enquirer, I was NOT surprised when a co-worker said aloud: "Just the way he would have wanted it....")

Yet to be fair, Lonnie Jackson was so persistent because he was involved with so much. Consider everything Jackson and the Combined Communities of Southeast Columbus are doing:

+ Trash cleanup drives not for one day, but two months. That's the problem with having a "Can Man" in your neighborhood - he discriminates, by not picking up other stuff.

+ Tutorial programs in schools, on Saturdays and during the summer. At least Eastway School stayed off the "needs improvement list," even if others didn't.

+ Ceremonial programs before major holidays, such as Memorial Day and Independence Day. In fact, they're so far ahead of those holidays that I'm a bit surprised trick-or-treaters don't visit the Veterans Day programs.

+ Signs across town promoting C.C.S.C. projects, including one at the intersection of Wynnton and Buena Vista Roads - which I don't really consider Southeast Columbus at all.

Even though he sometimes seemed like a media hog, Lonnie Jackson stood out from other African-American activists. While the others threaten to take action if things aren't changed and improved, Jackson organized people to actually MAKE the changes and improvements. If Nike ever brings back the "Just Do It" slogan, you might see Jackson's face again on a T-shirt.

BLOGGER BEGGAR #6: As I walked up the short chute toward Front Avenue after fixing the barrel, a woman came up to me on the sidewalk.

"Do you have a cigarette I can have?"

"No," I answered. "I'm out running, and I never carry cigarettes with me when I run." Or any other time, for that matter.

"OK. Thank you," the woman said.

"They'd just get in the way," I added. And lighting up after running up probably would mean even more tar and nicotine in my opened lungs.

Too bad for me - I missed a second opportunity to "do good." Which really wasn't an opportunity to do well at all, but help someone else's deadly habit. That's why I turned down a beggar outside a liquor store years ago. He was too honest - and admitted he wanted my money for beer.

E-MAIL UPDATE: This message reached us before Saturday's newspaper came out -- yet you'll probably notice a connection:

Dude,

Why does it seem that no reasonable concerts occur in Columbus? I know there is some history behind this reason, but I am wondering why I've seen more acts come to towns with half the population of Columbus. Is there really some ban on pubic fun or something?

This could be a great political platform for any potential wanna-be candidates. Now this is an issue worth discussing!

Just thinking out loud,

m

So in other words, this e-mailer is saying the concert scene in Columbus is m-m-bad.

At first I thought "m" had misspelled a word, and was asking about a "ban on PUBLIC fun." But then I remembered that legendary night when Bobby Brown was arrested (ahem)....

The main question in this message begs a question in response -- what is a "reasonable" concert? Plenty of famous names have been booked at the Civic Center over the years, from Alabama to Bob Dylan to Hilary Duff. A concert with country singer Trace Adkins has just been announced for November 2 - but if he shows too much skin, we could have a Trace Arraign-ment.

The next big concert at the Civic Center will feature the Commodores, on the night of the Morehouse-Tuskegee football game October 7. Most of the fans under 40 probably will drive across the river -- to the big Club Roc "after-party."

The RiverCenter also has brought a variety of well-known musical acts to Columbus. Wayne Newton will perform there in mid-October - and I'm old enough to remember when Top 40 radio stations played "Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast."

And don't overlook other concert locations in the Columbus area. The Phenix City Amphitheater has hosted singing legend B.J. Thomas this year. And Lynyrd Skynyrd performed at Fort Benning Saturday night - although singing "I'd be free as a bird" doesn't quite apply to soldiers with two-year commitments.

I've heard various theories about why Columbus doesn't attract bigger concerts. There's the "Atlanta's only two hours away" theory. There's the "we're not a college town" theory. And maybe deep-down, more people in this city are thrilled by the changing buffet at Golden Corral.

The thoughts of "m" were reinforced by Saturday's Ledger-Enquirer, which reported Riverfest has been canceled for 2007. Yet the Riverfest sign was still outside the Historic Columbus Foundation building on Broadway Saturday morning - so there apparently was no rush by angry residents to demand this change.

Riverfest brought big-name performers to Columbus for years - from James Brown early in this decade, to The Dixie Chicks before they became national stars. But then, maybe that's part of the problem. Brown was locked up for years, and plenty of veterans now want The Dixie Chicks kicked out of the country.

Civil rights groups sparked a firestorm last year, by calling for a boycott of Riverfest because of the Kenneth Walker case. The boycott was called off at the last minute, after it was rejected by even African-American members of Columbus Council. But now I have the feeling that Pastor Wayne Baker will somehow declare victory during his church service today.

It turns out Riverfest attendance has been declining for some time, dropping 70 percent in the last five years. Some complained about the lack of parking. Others said it was too noisy, and too much of a bother. And you should have heard what people said OUTSIDE the Historic District....

One area blogger warned about the trouble with Riverfest a month ago, and suggested it move to land along the Chattahoochee River around Port Columbus. There would be open space, but also potential problems. For instance, you'd have to guard that ship under restoration carefully - so no one borrows the wood for their barbecue cooking.

When I came to Columbus nine years ago, the city had two outdoor music festivals a year. Uptown Jam on Columbus Day weekend disappeared a few years ago. Now Riverfest is at least on a sabbatical, and may be gone for good. The only option left may be to hold "Family Day on the Park" over several days in June - and actually make it diverse.

It's interesting that the Riverfest announcement came only days before the opening of The Greater Columbus Fair. Will the news of a sabbatical inspire more people to attend the fair this coming week? And can "Pig Out" possibly replace the "Pig Jig" - without people in a Bible Belt city spreading curious rumors about it?

But back to our e-mail: Can Columbus city candidates really make the lack of "reasonable" concerts a campaign issue? Especially when the RiverCenter and Civic Center strive to act like private entities, separate from city government? Besides, at this point I haven't even heard Keni Thomas endorse a candidate for mayor.

Now for some other foliage we collected on the first day of fall:

+ Which Columbus man is telling people the Eddy Middle School fire on the night of the School Board Bible vote was no coincidence? He's calling it "a sign" of something. If every high school student takes this elective course, they might be learning under temporary tents.

+ My pastor at church warned more wars have started in the fall than at any other season of the year. He cited the start of World War II, when Germany invaded Poland. But then he noted the invasion occurred September 1, 1939 - so maybe the first day of autumn was three weeks earlier that year.

(If this comment by my pastor is true, it finally explains a couple of things - the U.S. attacks on Iraq in January 1991 and March 2003.)

+ A "gas war" developed in LaGrange, when a new station marked its grand opening with a sale price of $1.89 a gallon. The lowest price I'm seeing in Columbus is $2.18, at Fuel Tech on Milgen Road - so a round-trip in an S.U.V. actually might be worth the drive.

+ The Liberty Theater opened a two-weekend run of the Broadway musical "Dreamgirls." How many Fort Benning soldiers are embarrassing themselves, by showing up at this production with dollar bills to throw?

+ The Northern All-Stars Little League team was honored again -- this time at the Buffalo-Auburn football game. So their appearances are spreading outside Georgia?! When is Kyle Carter going to appear on the cover of "Tiger Beat" magazine?

+ The Georgia Bulldogs rallied in the fourth quarter to edge Colorado 14-13, and stay unbeaten. It's hard to believe the Bulldogs were so psyched out by what "Ralphie" the Buffalo might have left on the field.

(Colorado is now 0-4 on the season - and it began with a loss at home to Division 1-AA Montana State. I won't be surprised if Colorado changes things next year, and opens with Hannah Montana instead.)

+ Instant Message to Captain Tom's Buffet on Macon Road: I see from your sign that you're "under new ownership." But does this mean the business name will change? Will it become Captain Abdullah? Or Captain Kwame? Or Captain Pedro?

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for 23 SEP 06: PEACE THROUGH STRENGTH?

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

Did you miss this year's International Day of Peace? It was Thursday - allowing some Muslims to rest up for Friday's day of rage against the Pope....

Northside Elementary School in Opelika marked the International Day of Peace by planting 300 pinwheels in the ground. At first this sounded strange to me, but then I saw it on TV. They were toy pinwheels -- not what some of us call pecan swirls.

A TV newscaster saw the "pinwheels for peace" and said in response, "If only it were that easy." Indeed. In this day and age, some grownups might get into an argument over which direction the pinwheels should be turning.

Let's consider some of the current tension points around the world. There's Muslim vs. Roman Catholic. The U.S. vs. Venezuela. Israel vs. Iran. And the biggest one in this country in the last 48 hours - "C.S.I." vs. "Grey's Anatomy."

Election years tend to bring out tension points at the local and state level as well. There's Democrat vs. Republican. Congress vs. the President. The folks in power vs. the outsiders. And I keep waiting to see an attack ad by the "Public Safety Officers for Truth Committee."

Is there a way to bring all these feuds to an end? Can we finally "all get along," as Rodney King put it 13 years ago? Can the day come when Jerry Springer only needs to appear on television during "Dancing with the Stars?"

I believe the answer is yes - but the answer involves something much bigger than One Columbus, the Carter Center or even the United Nations. It involves a ceremony I'm celebrating this weekend, which the Bible describes as a "Feast of Trumpets." It's on the Jewish calendar as Rosh Hashanah - although someday if Rush Limbaugh keeps it, he might change the first name....

The Feast of Trumpets marks a time when end-time trumpets will sound, marking the return of Jesus to Earth. He plans to intervene, to bring peace to this world - and the Bible indicates he'll enforce it with a sword. Let's face it: world leaders won't be scared into submission or surrender if He carries dozens of pinwheels.

Former President Ronald Reagan actually was right, when he talked about achieving "peace through strength." But in the end, our military strength won't achieve it. After all, the leader of Hezbollah bragged Friday about having 20,000 rockets - which in the eyes of Israel makes him the Hez-bully.

(Not to mention the spiritual leader of Iran - whom I've heard a few ministers call the Ayatollah Kha-meanie.)

Back on September 11^th, I suggested you consider how the fight against terror finally will end. I'm persuaded it will end only when Jesus comes to MAKE it end. And even then, I doubt everyone will like it -- especially considering what happened to Him the first time He showed up on Earth.

If you're like the recent e-mailer to our blog who only recently started daily Bible readings, I suggest you check Zechariah 14, Matthew 24 and Revelation 19. Parts of those chapters speak about the dream of the Feast of Trumpets. You might be so comforted and pleased by what you read, you'll go out and celebrate - maybe by buying a big bag of Bugles.

COMING SUNDAY: Memories of a media pest.... and a new issue in the mayor's race....

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22 SEP 06: BLINDED BY THE LIGHT

Thursday was another beautifully sunny day in Columbus - and that was the problem. I had to drive east to get to work, at about 7:45 a.m. That's right after sunrise - and part of me wanted to drive west around the entire world instead.

With the sun rising at about 7:30 ET, the morning rush hour brings what the late Atlanta traffic reporter Keith Kalland called the "sunshine slowdown." And with the autumnal equinox coming tonight around midnight ET, it's even worse - as the sun rises directly in the east, not slightly north or south. The people who plotted downtown Columbus long ago actually had their directions right.

My first reminder of this actually came Tuesday evening. I took an evening jog shortly after 7:00 p.m. - and the sunshine slowdown was in the other direction, as I ran due west. I should have pulled my sunglasses out of my car at the start, to deal with this. But I'm a guy - so I don't run with a map, either.

The bright sunset especially caused a challenge when my running course took me across the Dillingham Street Bridge. I could barely see in front of my feet - and I felt like I was truly having a "Stevie Wonder moment."

"Limited visibility!" I called out to two people I passed while jogging on the Dillingham Street Bridge sidewalk. With my head down due to the sun, I had enough vision in front of me to see those people standing at the side. I suppose I could have joined them - but running in place for 20 minutes until the sun sets would look silly.

But as soon as I'd crossed the Dillngham Street Bridge and Railroad Street in Phenix City, I was too tired to run and dropped to a walk. Yes, I did it to myself - a case of "psunshine psych-out."

A couple of things are different, of course, when it comes to driving into the sun. My sunglasses are on. My car visor is down. And I'm smart enough to stuff the car insurance and registration cards in the passenger side visor, so they don't fall down nearly as often.

Yet a due-east sun still can be challenging for a morning driver, even with several kinds of shades. Enough glare can reflect from a street to slow me down. And once I feel my way to a traffic light, I start playing "peek-a-boo" - to see the signal without also seeing sunspots.

One recent morning, I was eastbound at an intersection with two traffic signals. I focused intently on the right one, waiting for it to turn to green - and almost never noticed the other one had changed, so I could make the left turn I wanted to make all along.

It's at a season like this when I'm especially thankful to the courteous drivers who leave their lights on while heading away from the sun. It helps avoid wrecks with drivers like me, who face the sunshine slowdown. They're like little NASA satellites, trying to reach Pluto to see if it's really a planet.

Yes, I know - the Southern sunshine has its advantages. For instance, it helps me save money on laundry day. My hard-to-dry items go atop the back seat of the car - and in a few weeks, I save enough quarters for a package of cookies at the vending machine.

And yes, I know - I'll be longing for that sunshine come January. But then, the morning drive will be a bit more challenging. Not only will the sun rise around 7:45 a.m., but I may have bits of unremovable ice on my windshield. It's a little bit of Aspen, Colorado - and that's more than enough for me.

So please be patient, if you're driving around me between 7:30 and 8:00 in the morning right now. I'm not really a "senior citizen" yet. I'm merely practicing for it - but at least I think of you enough to use my turn signals.

OVERHEARD OVER HERE: Several men were in a business office Thursday, talking about the next Atlanta Falcons game.

"Abraham is questionable. Hartwell is questionable...."

"And the signing of Morten Andersen is VERY questionable."

The Thursday news may have raised some questions as well:

+ The Atlanta Journal-Constitution published a list of Georgia city manager salaries. The LaGrange City Manager earns more than $140,000 a year -- at least $25,000 more than Columbus's Isaiah Hugley. Hugley's salary was NOT published, perhaps to save the city some embarrassment....

(In fact, the city managers in Valdosta and some Atlanta suburbs are paid more than Isaiah Hugley - and even paid more than Governor Perdue. So will this quiet the complaints about Mr. Hugley's recent raise? Or do the critics want his pay tied to the price of gasoline?)

+ WRBL reported the Georgia Department of Revenue has ordered cab companies to charge sales tax on every ride. The "taxi tax" was not enforced since the 1940's -- which probably will inspire bills to expand next summer's sales tax holiday from four days to four years.

(But wait, there's more! Taxi companies have to pay retroactive sales taxes, all the way back to the forties! You wondered how Governor Perdue was going to fulfill that promise about ending income taxes for older people....)

+ The Georgia Ethics Commission ruled the Mark Taylor campaign can spend $35,000 in donations from Carl Gregory car dealers for now. At this point in the race, of course, all campaign donations are under a 60-day warranty.

+ The Washington political satire group "The Capitol Steps" performed in Opelika. I wish I could have seen what they did with this week's United Nations events -- maybe like having the President of Iran try to convert the President of Venezuela to Islam.

+ WLGA "CW-66" was off the air for hours during the afternoon and evening, showing only a test pattern. Well, I'm presuming that's what happened. Either that, or it was the most bizarre info-mercial for "Streambox Transport" I've ever seen.

(Oh no - do you think the viewers of Pastor Leroy Jenkins poured their vials of "miracle water" on the WLGA tower, trying to get him back on the air?)

+ Georgia Tech was victorious over Virginia in college football 24-7. But you couldn't hear the game on Columbus radio - because the station which used to carry the Yellowjackets has become "Viva 1460 en Espanol" since last season. Maybe I should check there this weekend, for Columbus State women's soccer games....

+ Troup County spanked Spencer in high school football 49-25. They played at McClung Memorial Stadium, and I could hear the Spencer band from the Chattahoochee Promenade about eight blocks away. If they didn't have Riverfest in the Historic District, someone there might have called police about a noise ordinance violation.

+ Instant Message to the RiverCenter: Please tell whoever does your TV commercials to listen to Georgia Public Broadcasting. The woman on radio says opera singer Frederica "von STAH-duh" is appearing next weekend. Your TV voice incorrectly says "von STAHD." Opera divas have canceled shows over things like that.

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21 SEP 06: FROM HAIR TO NOVEMBER

Something simply didn't look right. When I saw the latest campaign commercial for Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue, it seemed unusual - but at first I wasn't sure why. Maybe it's because I keep waiting for ads which go way beyond Mark Taylor walking backwards....

Then Wednesday, it finally hit me. The new "Sonny-Do" campaign commercial looks different, because of Sonny Perdue's wife. Mary Perdue has a very different look, compared to when she moved into the governor's mansion in 2003. Before you jump to conclusions - no, I did NOT receive any botox prescriptions anonymously in the mail.

What Mary Perdue has changed for this election year is her hairstyle. She's now flowing at the shoulders, which is quite a change from a few years ago. The first lady's web page shows how she looked in 2003 - which I'm tempted to say was something Melissa Ethridge might find attractive.

Think back four years, and you'll probably have a hard time remembering how Mary Perdue looked during that campaign for governor. After all, Sonny Perdue was such an underdog that even he didn't receive much publicity. Why, Roy Barnes's dog seemed to show up more in TV commercials.

Online evidence indicates Mary Perdue started growing out her hair early this year. A February photo from a Republican women's conference shows a slightly longer look. And in an election year, I suppose the last thing the G.O.P. wants is a candidate's wife accused of loving short cuts....

It's common for political candidates to have consultants, advising them about everything from their speeches to their clothing. Do you think some Republican advised Mary Perdue to change her hairstyle, to look more feminine in this campaign? Is this really where the phrase "Sonny 'do" came from?

Mary Perdue's not the only person making a hair adjustment in this election year. Did you notice at Tuesday's Columbus Council meeting, incumbent candidate Nathan Suber seemed to be growing a beard? He could be imitating what hockey players do during the playoffs - you don't shave until you either win it all, or get eliminated.

On the other hand, Councilor Mimi Woodson seems to be going in the opposite election. She trimmed her hair a couple of inches several weeks ago. But she's unopposed for another term in November - so you might say the hair pressure is down for her.

What's that you're saying? What do you mean I'm making a big campaign fuss over nothing, by analyzing candidates' hair? I'd argue recent election history shows otherwise -- but to be honest, all the style changes haven't seemed to hurt Hillary Rodham Clinton's career.

BLOG UPDATE: Here's a follow-up to Monday's topic, which is the focus of our current Big Blog Question. The Can Man apparently DID show up and take the beer cans away from my apartment complex. But that pile of tires is still along the Riverwalk - so apparently South Commons needs a Rubber Maid.

Not much thrilled us from the Wednesday news (as you already might have guessed from our main topic), so let's cut things short today and send some Instant Messages:

+ To the Columbus Ledger-Enquirer: Wednesday's front page with the headline "EXPOSED" was a good start. Now all you have to do is reduce the size of your pages, and you'll be a real tabloid.

+ To the staff at St. Elmo Elementary School: I think it's finally time to do it. Cash in on all the publicity over that new doll, and make "Tickle Me Elmo" your mascot.

+ To the landscaping crew I saw working on the Riverwalk Wednesday evening, between Golden Park and the Civic Center: Didn't I see you there just last Saturday night? You're trimming the grass twice in four days -- in September? Now I'm wondering if President Bush is about to come to town....

+ To the Bob Riley for Governor reelection campaign in Alabama: What do you mean, Lucy Baxley "failed to do her job" by not casting a State Senate tie-breaking vote in April? Is your staff really doing ITS job, by not bringing up the vote for five months?

+ To the Atlanta Falcons: Are you kidding?! Was the best kicker out there really 46-year-old Morten Andersen? Was Mick Luckhurst too busy with British TV sportscasts, to come out of retirement?

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20 SEP 06: WHAT THE ROC IS COOKING

The Phenix City Council went against the advice of its police chief Tuesday, and approved a "liquor and dancing" license for the new owner of Club Roc. Who knows -- If the council had left the liquor part out, things might have been different.

Phenix City Police Chief Brian McGarr said Misha Simmons should be denied a liquor license for Club Roc on the 280 Bypass. With a last name like McGarr, you'd think he'd get his way on Talk Like a Pirate Day....

Brian McGarr suggested to WRBL Misha Simmons's application to buy Club Roc may be misleading. The police chief suspects Simmons is getting her financial backing from the former owners of The Fire House on Sidney Simons Boulevard. And here's the ironic thing - Club Roc is near a building which used to be a "Sportsman's Mall" for hunters.

Brian McGarr noted Misha Simmons actually used to work at The Fire House, which was shut down by court order last month. So the police chief suspects she's merely a "front" for other people in control -- but this is an election year, so we're getting used to that sort of thing.

If Misha Simmons spoke in behalf of her application, it wasn't shown on TV. But outside the Phenix City Council meeting, attorney Tommy Worley said the city had no legal reason to deny her a liquor license. That doesn't seem to stop the Chattahoochee County Commission....

Phenix City Councilor John Storey agreed with Misha Simmons and her attorney. Storey said there's nothing the city legally could do, to stop Simmons from buying Club Roc and having a liquor license. So apparently the council can't ask the Alabama Attorney General to intervene anymore.

The Phenix City area has tried to "Roc" with entertainment spots before. How many of you remember the "Rock-a-Moly Café" on Highway 80? I heard nice reviews about that restaurant in the late 1990's, but it closed before I ever stopped there to eat. All the barbecue joints ganged up on it, I guess....

The Phenix City Council promises to watch Club Roc very closely, under its new ownership. Some of us already have been doing this - but I suspect the council members are all in bed when WLGA shows "Street TV" late on Saturday nights.

"Street TV" has been taped at Club Roc the last two weekends, featuring a rising rapper named "Yung Joc." Hey, even I can write words for this:

He's Yung Joc and he's at Club Roc

And we hope nobody there's hiding a Glock.

'Cause you might send people in a panic down the block - sayin' Whoa! Whoa!

Meanwhile, Russell County Sheriff Tommy Boswell didn't have things much better Tuesday. The county commission divided on whether his entire staff should receive a 20-percent raise. If this gets turned down, the deputies should keep one thing in mind - the Chattahoochee County Police Chief is hiring a new force from scratch.

Russell County Commissioner J.D. Upshaw told WRBL the sheriff should have asked for staff raises year by year, instead of requesting 20 percent all at once. Maybe Tommy Boswell watched too many ESPN SportsCenter reports on pro football players....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Tuesday's topic about Muscogee County Schools allowing Bible classes brought this response:

I think the Bible elective is a great idea. I'm a fairly recent product of the schools, so let me mention that (1) I had to learn about the pillars of Islam in my 7th grade world history course, and (2) my 12^th grade world literature course spent as much time on Gilgamesh as it did on the Bible. I think our curricula are ridiculous anyway; with so much world history to learn, why as a 7th grader, did I have to learn about the Nok salt-trading peoples of Africa, but nothing about the Hebrews?

Political value judgments are clearly driving the selection of subjects to study, not an abstract idea of what is most impactful or worthy to teach.

Given that the selection is political, our elected officials should have influence over the curriculum, rather than some education bureaucrat. Thus, I think a state legislative proposal together with confirmation by the local boards is legitimate, regardless of motivation. Unfortunately, as a practical matter, states like California end up dictating the content of the entire nation's textbooks, which I think has led to many of what I see as problems.

I think the best rationale for having the Bible course gets lost between the "churched" and the secularists, who might oppose it for differing reasons. The Bible has had a tremendous impact on civilization, and it is frequently cited or referenced in other literature. As someone who grew up relatively "unchurched," I am unfamiliar with many of the so-called famous stories or passages from the Bible, so I am at a disadvantage, even now in professional school, when references come up. I am an editor at a scholarly journal, and recently I have been editing several articles with Biblical citations.

I know some claim that this will (or should) lead to teaching of the Koran or Zoroastrian texts. If the demand is there, go ahead.

Coincidentally, I have begun to read the Bible daily, and I wish I had started years ago.

Best,

Thomas

You might have guessed Thomas edits a "scholarly journal" from this e-mail, without his even saying so. I'm so impressed by it, I'm putting the Wikipedia link here right now - because readers probably will need it to look up some of his big words.

The only high school class I recall from my youth which utilized the Bible was Humanities, in my senior year. We read the book of Job, then the Archibald MacLeish modernized version called "J.B." Without giving away my age, this was years before James Brown started hosting football pre-game shows.

I admittedly never heard of Gilgamesh in high school -- nor did I learn about the "Nok salt-trading peoples." Were they the ones who invented the Nokia phone?

(C'mon now, admit it -- where else in the blogosphere will you find the "Nok salt-trading peoples of Africa" and rap lyrics about guns in the same post? More schools should start using this blog as an educational tool....)

Thomas is probably right, when it comes to large states such as California having a large impact on school textbooks. But look on the bright side - more children can spell Schwarzenegger correctly than ever before.

It's interesting to me that a "scholarly journal" would be publishing articles with Biblical citations. The way some preachers talk these days, a reference to Scripture might even be rejected by "Christianity Today."

Now for some other loose, uh, Rocs we picked up Tuesday:

+ A search of old Chambers County records revealed Cusseta, Alabama has been an incorporated city for 150 years - but no one ever knew it! [True/WXTX] And then people in Tallassee get upset over new companies ripping the floors out of old mills?! There might be a gold mine hiding down there, to save the city....

+ Columbus Juvenile Court Judge Aaron Cohn was named to the Chattahoochee Valley Sports Hall of Fame. I didn't realize he played tennis at the University of Georgia long ago. And I guess the selection committee didn't know, or else they wouldn't have waited until he was about 90 years old to select him.

+ Former local high school baseball star Adam Coe was named the "Gulf Coast League Braves" Player of the Year. Now I finally understand why Coe made that transfer from Columbus High to Russell County High. He was practicing for all those promotions through the minor leagues.

+ Auburn football coach Tommy Tuberville held his mid-week news conference. But did I hear him right - did he say the Tiger offense is not "a rolling ball of butcher knives right now"?! What low-budget horror movie did he rent from Blockbuster?

+ Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue announced a new web site where you can submit ideas for him to work out over the next four years. It's called "SonnyDo.com" - which makes me wonder why his wife doesn't give him that same sort of list on weekends.

(The web site even shows some ideas already submitted to "SonnyDo." How many Democrats do you think are filling out the suggestion box, and urging him to buy more land near Orlando?)

+ Georgia gubernatorial challenger Mark Taylor called for the death penalty, for repeat felony sex offenders. If any men are stupid enough to visit that house in Fortson a second time to meet a teenage girl, we probably shouldn't wait to see if it's a misdemeanor or a felony.

+ Instant Message to the group of young women I saw posing for pictures at Ninth and Front Avenue: I hope you understand why I asked that question Tuesday night. If I hadn't, you might have been the best "reverse beauty pageant" look-alikes I'd ever seen.

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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19 SEP 06: THE GOOD BOOKS

Maybe the Muscogee County School Board came up with the wrong combination Monday night. Maybe members should have bought 2,710 new Bibles - to find out once and for all how conservative the current U.S. Supreme Court is.

But no, the Muscogee County School Board didn't do that. It voted 7-2 Monday night to allow the teaching of elective high school courses about the Bible. They'll teach about the Bible in history and literature - but not in music, because choir teachers sneak that part in during Christmas programs.

Assistant Superintendent Robin Pennock says the elective courses will focus on the Bible as "a document, not a sacred text." So it's a bit like the way many high school students treat their "alma mater" song....

Robin Pennock assured the Monday evening news the goal of the Bible elective courses is "not to indoctrinate" students. The firebrand preachers who want that to happen will have two options - put tracts on high school student's windshields, or move to Iran.

But not every member of the Muscogee County School Board was ready to approve a Bible elective. Joseph Roberson wanted the vote postponed -- yes, Pastor Joseph Roberson of South Columbus United Methodist Church, and "Getting on Top of Life" radio. Maybe he's concerned about other members standing on top of Bibles, to win reelection.

Joseph Roberson explained he wanted a vote delayed until the Georgia Board of Education develops a curriculum for teaching Bible courses. Now hold on -- who says you need a curriculum for such things? Some church pastors get into their pulpits, and say whatever they think the Holy Spirit is instructing them.

It turns out the lack of a state curriculum will mean Bible elective courses won't be offered in Muscogee County until next school year. The Georgia Board of Education hopes to have a curriculum ready by February 1 - as soon as it decides whether or not to open such discussions with a prayer.

Joseph Roberson also wants a "citizens' panel" appointed to oversee how the Bible is taught in Muscogee County high schools, and who is teaching it. A vote on that is planned at the October meeting. If panel members start calling themselves disciples, look out....

Brenda Storey voted with the school board majority for a Bible elective. She says such courses in high school will add to a teenager's "depth of knowledge." But we won't really know for sure, unless someone develops a new version of the S.A.T. - the Scripture Aptitude Test.

But board member Patricia Hugley Green sees potential trouble down the road, with allowing the Bible as an elective high school course. She fears a lot of lawsuits are coming - and based on the federal trial I covered last year, they won't use a Bible to swear in any witnesses.

I have my own question about the Bible courses, but in a very different direction. What if Muslims want elective courses based on the Koran? If the school board or state legislature turns them down, wouldn't that become a religious discrimination suit? And let's not forget those Wiccans who love Harry Potter....

Meanwhile, the Muscogee County School Board also approved almost $150,000 to replace almost 2,700 missing textbooks. I fear some students are getting a very wrong message from this - but enough about Monday night's fire at Eddy Middle School....

E-MAIL UPDATE: One of the messages we posted Monday receives a follow-up on Tuesday:

Brent pointed out missed fees from the landfill and installment fines (not sure what that was referencing).

Don't forget about the alarm permit fees and threats to charge for non-emergency calls from alarms.

Really enjoy the blog

Bruce

Thank you for pointing out one part of the e-mail we did NOT point out. Sometimes, even humor bloggers get stumped for good jokes about landfills.

Is Bruce suggesting the city of Columbus isn't keeping track of how many false alarms public safety workers answer - so potential fines are being lost? There's a simple way to back-check that. Simply ask the annoyed neighbors how many happened.

Now for other short shots from an occasionally stormy Monday:

+ Kohl's began airing TV commercials announcing its Columbus grand opening will be Thursday, October 5. I'm assuming the department store already cleared this date with the Northern All-Stars Little League team....

+ WLGA-TV 66 began airing shows from the new CW network. They include shows which used to appear on WBG-15, from "The Daily Buzz" to "Will and Grace." What will NBC-38 do with that cable channel - show Al Fleming commentaries around the clock?

(WLGA has gone all-out for "The CW." To borrow from sportswriting legend Red Smith: When it's 11:30 at night and "Sex and the City" has replaced faith-healing Pastor Leroy Jenkins, a revolution has occurred in Columbus television.)

+ A maintenance worker with the Bainbridge, Georgia Housing Authority claimed last Friday's Mega Millions jackpot. After taxes, he'll take home $66 million - and hopefully before he quits that job, he'll buy a fleet of nice new lawnmowers for whomever replaces him.

+ Instant Message to Saint Luke United Methodist Church: Just so I'm clear - what is "The MC?" Is that your Ministry Center? Is it hip shorthand for Methodist Church? Or has M.C. Hammer been hired as a youth pastor?

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gasoline falls to $2.24 a gallon at Spectrum, Fourth Street and Second Avenue.... milk for $2.50 a gallon at Publix (probably ending today).... FREE music video shoot at 6:00 p.m. ET tonight at Cascade Hills Church (200 volunteers needed; no Bible verses to memorize)....

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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for 18 SEP 06: PILING ON

"Does anybody plan to clean that up?" I asked a neighbor Sunday as I approached a shady tree at our apartment complex. A group of men spent most of Saturday afternoon there, and left beer cans scattered all around the tree - almost as if they expect them to grow into kegs in a few years.

"The Can Man will get 'em," my neighbor who looks 60-something answered. The Can Man?! To some people, this might sound like an industrial version of the tooth fairy.

Does your corner of Columbus have a Can Man? It turns out my neighborhood actually does - a man or woman who goes around picking up discarded aluminum cans, presumably for the recycling money. Come to think of it, there's also a bird feeder in the middle of my apartment complex. Except sometimes, men fire pellet guns at the birds....

I think I've seen the Can Man visit my complex from time to time in recent months. Someone walks up to the trash cans near the curb around pickup day, and probes around inside. Either he's looking for aluminum to recycle, or the convenience stores down the street should start offering inexpensive hot breakfasts.

Several years ago, a Can Woman roamed around the Historic District. My late next-door neighbor quietly left aluminum cans in a bucket outside the back door, and the Can Woman picked them up every week or so. Considering my 70-something neighbor sometimes asked me for loans to make it until payday, I wonder why she didn't go roaming herself.

There was a time long ago when I was a Can Man - not because I had to, but because I wanted to. When I went running in Oklahoma, I'd pick up recyclable cans left along the roadside as I jogged/walked home. It was an experiment in environmentalism - and in a big surprise, at summer's end the soda cans won more nights than the beer cans.

But I've never thought of intentionally leaving aluminum cans outside, for a Can Man to pick up. I suppose some people actually throw trash along the side of a highway as well, so those "adopt-a-mile" groups feel like they're accomplishing something....

Call me greedy, but for years I've saved aluminum cans in a giant trash bag and taken them to a recycling center myself [11 Apr]. It doesn't bring in a lot of money - but if I leave them in the city's blue bin along the curb, I don't get a penny. For a single guy, every free dinner at McDonald's matters.

And that's another thing - my "blue bin" for Columbus curbside recycling has been ignored by city collection crews so often, I don't leave it out anymore. I think it's because the recycling is aimed at homeowners. As if apartment dwellers and renters need to deposit our stuff outside Goodwill Industries, then shop there for low-budget clothing.

But while my neighborhood has a Can Man, it doesn't seem to have anyone picking up the other recyclable items for money. At least I've never noticed a Paper Boy - and Plastic Man is still merely a comic book character.

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION returns from a long absence, to ask what you think of this. Should we leave aluminum cans out and about, for a "Can Man" to collect -- perhaps to make some extra money? Should we simply handle the cans ourselves? And should I go out to the shady tree, pick up the cans myself and see if the men will learn a lesson about sloppiness?

While we're "trash talking," we have good news and bad news for Columbus Riverwalk users. The good news is that the section near South Commons Softball Stadium is open, after weeks of sewer construction. The bad news is that a collection of tires was left behind, near a giant piece of heavy machinery. Maybe those are waiting for Tires First on Miller Road to pick up.

I counted about 20 tires stacked up near the Riverwalk over the weekend. My only conclusion is that the sewer workers found them, while doing their construction over the last several weeks. How some of those big tires wound up fitting in a sewer line, I have no idea....

We can only guess how those tires wound up along the Riverwalk. Some people may have carelessly dumped them in the Chattahoochee. Others might have in practice - dreaming of the day they can row their own kayaks through whitewater rapids downtown.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our e-mail writers seemed to be in a surly mood Sunday. We'll start with a message about a longtime lawmaker:

Why is Synovus allowing Calvin Smyre to used their money to intimidate, influence, and attack other African Americans in the Columbus community? This behavior is morally wrong, and does not represent good cooperate citizenship.

"Smyre needs to Go!!!"

Ms. Chakunna S. Motes

I'm not sure what sort of intimidation Ms. Motes is describing. Synovus donated money to help parents of the Northern All-Stars attend the Little League World Series - but the team was still all-white.

If Synovus is donating money to political candidates, the company isn't doing what any other company or individual can't do. The old phrase says, "Put your money where your mouth is." In this case, Calvin Smyre is the mouth in the Georgia Legislature....

There's one other big problem with Ms. Motes's message. Rep. Calvin Smyre can't go in this year's election. He's running unopposed, Burt Coker decided to stage a write-in campaign for Mayor instead -- and I'm not sure if Reginald Pugh would have to change his home address.

Here's an e-mail which seems related to that....

Have most Black preachers lost their moral compass? several months ago many of then allowed their names to be placed on a list supporting a local political candidate, I've never seen a list of white clergy doing the same. Saving souls and helping the needy is what preachers should be doing rather than allowing themselves to be used as ponds by politicians. I wonder will the black preachers be selling there godly influence in the November elections.

Maybe the "white clergy" are supporting candidates in a more secretive way, as opposed to putting their names in the newspaper. It's called prayer....

Pastors of all skin colors take active community roles, in political and non-political offices. Joseph Roberson of South Columbus United Methodist Church is a Muscogee County School Board member. Jimmy Elder of First Baptist Church serves on one of the library boards. But I haven't checked to see if Senator Johnny Isakson still is teaching Sunday School somewhere.

Our last e-mail deals with Columbus city business:

Unscripted:

If you want to see the best comedy on the TV just check out your Columbus Council. Hollywood could not write a script this good.

What was saved?:

We now have to hire outside accounting firms to audit ourselves when we just got rid of folks who did that. I guess no matter what it costs, the council will say it was cheaper than keeping good folks working full time.

Are they serious?:

How can council, with a straight face anyway, appoint anyone to interim responsibility who was an assistant to anyone embroiled in the Finance Department situation?

Do the books:

First it was the city landfill fees, now it's the installment fines. I don't know what the city administration is good at, but it sure aint proper accounting and collecting money.

It sounds to me like all of the councilors better start looking for another part-time job because the citizens are getting tired of their inability to run our city. Bob is going to be the first one out and the rest of you are next.

Concerned citizen, tax payer, and registered VOTER.

Brent Rollins

So it's a battle for best comedy between Columbus Council meetings and Rivertown Ford infomercials [18 Aug]. If the Council brought in the Cottonmouths' mascot to compete with the Ford dancing turkey, I might be persuaded.

Is Brent Rollins being a bit inconsistent, with accusations about "outside accounting firms?" If it wasn't for an outside pay study, the Columbus Police Department he loves so much might not be receiving nice raises right now. Those officers would be calling the Russell County Commission instead, and pretending they live in Seale.

Whether Mayor Bob Poydasheff is voted out will be decided in 50 days. But Columbus Council as a whole?! I'd remind Brent Rollins that two current Councilors are unopposed in the November election [2 Jul] -- one of them for a city-wide at-large seat. Talk is cheap. Campaigning for office -- well, that starts with a filing fee.

We thank all of you for writing us - and now let's check some Sunday headlines:

+ The Shrine Circus finished its annual weekend at the Columbus Civic Center. A few people stood outside again this year, claiming the circus animals are abused. It would be nice to know how many of them drove across town, for the Muscogee County Humane Society "adopt-a-thon...."

(These protesters of circus animal abuse have become almost commonplace. But why don't you ever hear them express concern about how risky the trapeze act is?)

+ The Atlanta Falcons stayed unbeaten by topping Tampa Bay 14-3. The two field goal kickers went a combined 1-for-7 -- leaving me to wonder if they've been watching tapes of Shaquille O'Neal shooting free throws.

(The Atlanta defense knocked down several pass attempts by Tampa Bay quarterback Chris Simms. For awhile, I thought the Falcons might wind up with more "batted balls" than baseball's Tampa Bay Devil Rays.)

+ Instant Message to whomever left a cigarette butt straight up in the middle of an ant hill, along the Chattahoochee Promenade: Do you plan to check on that in a few days? You know, to see if the nicotine or second-hand smoke killed any ants?

SONG OF THE DAY: A Pacific storm moved across Mexico's west coast Sunday - a storm called Hurricane Lane. We offer our sympathies to the families of the victims. But it's quite tempting to combine the name of the storm with an old tune about Santa Claus....

Here comes hurricane, here comes hurricane,

Here comes Hurricane Lane!

Spreading debris from its strong winds

And flood water caused by rain.

If you're in the path of this storm,

You'd better take cover real quick!

Hurricane Lane is a storm so strong

It might hit you with a brick!

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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17 SEP 06: THE DAYS TIME STOOD STILL

We hope the visitors attending the Georgia Conference on Tourism enjoyed their time in Columbus this past week. I think I jogged past some of them the other evening on the Chattahoochee Promenade at Fifth Street - because why else would anyone be there carrying clipboards?

But there's one attraction I hope the tourism conference visitors didn't see. It's at the corner of Tenth and Bay Avenue, where construction continues on the Columbus State University "Riverpark Campus." It's in plain sight, inviting you to stare at it -- and no, it's not a beggar wearing slacks down around his knees.

Remember how Columbus marked "Y-2-K" almost seven years ago? A "millennium clock" was dedicated near the Riverwalk, complete with a time capsule and sponsorship bricks. I suppose we should have expected the bricks to last the longest -- and thankfully, the StreetScape construction crew hasn't cut corners and stolen any....

But the four-sided millennium clock at Tenth and Bay seems to have been forgotten since 2000. I noticed several weeks ago it had stopped running. Then this past week, I checked it twice to confirm it still wasn't working right. I mean, it can't even illustrate the song "It's Five O'clock Somewhere" when three sides show the time as 6:30.

At least the time on the side facing Phenix City has changed a bit. My first picture from Independence Day showed it stuck at 1:05. When I checked again a few days ago, it showed 6:30. Did some drunk C.S.U. student climb the clock somehow, and try to set the time himself?

Yes, I've read the old saying that "even a stopped clock is right twice a day." That's nice positive thinking - but if you're visiting downtown Columbus and you're on a schedule, the millennium clock could be quite annoying. Especially when it's showing different times on two sides, and neither seems to be Eastern and Central Time.

So where do you go to report a problem with the millennium clock? That's a very good question, and I still don't have a definite answer:

1. The clock says "Uptown Columbus" on one side, so we called the Uptown Columbus office. No, they're not over it. They're tearing up entire blocks of Broadway, but they're not touching Bay Avenue.

2. Uptown Columbus people say the Historic Columbus Foundation is over the clock. No, they're not - or at least they denied it when we called. Apparently January 2000 isn't historic enough.

3. The Historic Columbus Foundation referred us to the Columbus Parks Department. So apparently that grassy oval next to the clock is a park?! It's covered with a seven-foot-high pile of dirt at the moment -- too tall even to use as a pitcher's mound.

4. The Parks Department's main number directed us to "Parks Services." But when we called that office, everyone was out of the office for the day. Maybe they were making sure the "Tourism Works Here" lawn signs weren't being replaced by ones for political candidates.

We were told to call Parks Services back Friday for an answer - but when we did, we were told they still didn't have an answer yet. We were told to try again "next week." It's a good thing we weren't reporting stolen nets from tennis courts.

A side point here: when we canceled the Power Frisbee season two weeks ago, only one city out of 14 had NOT given us a firm commitment on a field. Can you guess which one? Yup, our home town of Columbus. The Parks Department still was waiting for school district permission about McClung Memorial Stadium on Labor Day weekend -- as if some high school would want to suddenly play on Sunday.

The Columbus Parks Department kept us waiting since April to book a Power Frisbee field -- and the Parks Services office is showing that same level of "customer service" when it comes to the millennium clock. Maybe the staff is waiting to confirm it's in charge of the clock until we go back to standard time in late October....

I've lived in other cities where landmark downtown clocks fail to work properly. East Point had one like that for years, after its MARTA station opened. In such cities, the clocks become running local jokes - and of course, the jokes keep running even when the clocks don't.

But shouldn't Columbus be better than this, when it comes to "what progress has preserved?" Or has all the emphasis on improving Broadway caused people to forget the landmark clock on Bay Avenue two blocks away? When the time comes to open that time capsule under the sidewalk, will people still be able to know what time it actually is?

E-MAIL UPDATE: It's always nice to have new readers - not to mention fan mail from them:

I live in Columbus Georgia and I LOVE this blog!!! I just discovered it online tonight and have been laughing ever since :-)

Keep up the good work!

April W

Thanks so much, April - and perhaps I should say congratulations to you. It takes some new readers several weeks to figure out this blog is supposed to be funny.

Now for topics and tidbits from the last weekend of summer:

+ Which local charity recently held Sunday night bingo games, had only 13 people show up, and took home less than 60 dollars in proceeds? Perhaps I shouldn't point fingers, though - that charity still raised more in one night than Power Frisbee did in three.

+ The price of gasoline in Columbus took another big tumble, falling to $2.30 a gallon at many stations. For those of you grumbling about it being an election-year ploy - maybe you need to celebrate Thanksgiving two months early.

+ WRBL reported on a memo from the Russell County Administrator, saying a 20-percent raise for the Sheriff's Department would require that department to lose nine positions to keep a balanced budget. That gives a whole new meaning to the two-way radio phrase "over and out."

+ The Phenix City Amphitheater held a Saturday night "street dance" concert. I didn't catch which band performed - but I have to wonder about its first song, "Rock Around the Clock." Didn't Phenix City ban that, back in the 1950's?

+ Auburn edged Louisiana State 7-3 in an important Southeastern Conference football game. It was the lowest-scoring game at Auburn since 1973 - way back before anyone started yelling for Pat Sullivan to become head coach.

+ Instant Message to my church congregation: It's too bad we called off the "sit-down dinner" this weekend. But you'll be pleased to know when I brought home a Saturday night meal from Church's Chicken, I went ahead and ate it sitting down anyway.

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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for 16 SEP 06: HA!-LELUJAH

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

We return today to an e-mail from earlier in the week [12 Sep]. Here's part of what the reader said about our blog:

You talk a great deal about being a Christian and what not, yet some of the mean things you say seem very un-christian like. Of course, I am not a church-goer, so I might be a bit off on that, but for a man who is as seemingly religious as you are, some of your jabs come as a surprise.

Maybe I should write more uppercuts than jabs - because the swing of the uppercut might remind someone of a smile.

At the core of this comment is how to define "Christian humor." There's been a growing number of Christian comedians in recent years, including Christian stand-up comics. One of the best-known ones talked about going to a church, claiming to be a Christian comic, and being told in response: "Great! Where's your puppet?"

You may have heard preachers say words such as, "I believe God has a sense of humor." But you don't need to speculate about that. You can know - and before I started LaughLine for a national audience several years ago, I did a Bible study on the subject. You may be stunned to learn not once in the Bible does anyone get a pie in the face.

The Bible study on humor became a "witnessing statement" of sorts on the LaughLine web site, so I'm calling on that for a response to this e-mail. I was surprised by some of the verses I found, and you might be as well:

"The One enthroned in heaven laughs...." (Psm. 2:4) What's God laughing about? Believe it or not, rulers who try to take a stand AGAINST Him (2:2)! God also laughs at wicked people, who plot mean things against righteous people (37:12-13). He even finds it funny when people have DISASTERS in their lives, after rejecting Him (Prv. 1:24, 26)!

The point: if you're doing something against godly people or principles, God may be laughing at you - because at death, He'll have the last laugh.

So is God some sort of sicko? No, because there are other things that give Him joy, pleasure and delight - such as obedience to Him (I Sam. 15:22), mercy (Mic. 7:18) and upright living (Prv. 11:20).

And if that's not enough, God took pleasure in adopting believers as His children (Eph. 1:4-5). In fact, He did that before we were even here!

Even though the day's news may be grim, God promises to bring Jesus Christ back to earth in the nick of time -- to set up a kingdom that will last forever! It's something He's "pleased" to do (Lk. 12:32) - and no doubt we'll be pleased to be there.

Indeed as a Psalm says, "The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy" (Psm. 126:3). And if your children happen to find a two-humped camel funny-looking, the Lord might not mind at all.

COMING SUNDAY: A place the Georgia Conference on Tourism hopefully was NOT shown....

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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15 SEP 06: MILLION-DOLLAR MILGEN MYSTERY?

What do Clint Eastwood and Bobby Peters have in common? We're breaking news about both well-known names today -- and both men have connections to the same Columbus murder case. But no, Judge Peters has NOT been hired to be the next "Dirty Harry."

BLOG EXCLUSIVE: Muscogee County Judge Bobby Peters confirmed to your blog Thursday he's assisting with a book project about the killing of a Fort Benning soldier. It's the case of Captain Richard Davis, who was stabbed dozens of times in woods along Milgen Road in 2003. If only they had clear-cut the land to build college apartments sooner.

Judge Bobby Peters told me the book about the death of Richard Davis is only in the research and planning stages right now. He noted it does NOT have a publisher yet. But if John Mark Karr can have a book deal already....

Judge Bobby Peters told me he believes the full story of the death of Richard Davis has not been told - even though CBS News reviewed the case on "48 Hours" four months ago [21 May]. But we shouldn't be surprised by this. A former attorney knows about how to find different angles - it's called the appeals process.

I didn't realize until Judge Bobby Peters mentioned it that he was the attorney for one of the suspects in the Richard Davis case. He defended Mario Navarrete before he was elected judge in 2004. Now that I know this, I'm not sure Judge Roxann Daniel knew -- because surely she would have brought it up in that nasty campaign.

Judge Bobby Peters says he can't quite accept the claims that Captain Richard Davis was killed by fellow Fort Benning soldiers simply because Davis threw coins at a Platinum Club dancer. Perhaps so, but this is Columbus -- where it didn't take much to start gunfire outside the old Boom Boom Room.

Judge Bobby Peters says he's heard stories that Richard Davis was contacted by a "Mexican gang" - only the gang didn't realize Davis was Filipino-American, not Hispanic-American. How far have we fallen in this country when even the gangs are guilty of profiling?

You may recall we received e-mail last week about Bobby Peters meeting with Richard Davis's father [5 Sep]. The Judge told me Thursday he now believes District Attorney Gray Conger will agree to release Davis's remains to the family, after three years of waiting. Your tax dollars are paying for cold storage, whether you realize it or not.

Judge Bobby Peters is quick to point out he is NOT assisting with this book project during office hours. In fact, he admits he has trouble finding time to help -- because his duties as a judge have him working from 8:00 a.m. to about 5:15 p.m. five days a week. Why, he barely has enough time to write temporary restraining orders....

Judge Bobby Peters explained he's providing only "technical help" with the book project, while Cilla McCain is doing the bulk of the writing. She's a Columbus native who now lives in the north Georgia mountains -- one of those places where she's probably already unplugged the air conditioner for the season.

Cilla McCain told me Thursday night she'd love to have Bobby Peters coauthor her book about the Richard Davis case. But we'll have to wait for the Judge to write a book of his own. Should he write about his years in public service in Columbus -- or would a book about his dating history sell better?

Cilla McCain revealed she's not the only one interested in the Richard Davis story. She said screenwriter Paul Haggis of "Million Dollar Baby" fame is writing a fictionalized version of the case, and hopes to have Clint Eastwood play Davis's father. Hmmm - so Hilary Swank might play Bobby Peters's law office secretary....

And that's not all - as Cilla McCain told me CBS News plans to do a "48 Hours" follow-up program about the Richard Davis case, with material not shown in May. This is what happens when Katie Couric changes networks in the middle of the year.

Cilla McCain says she has her own theory about why Richard Davis was stabbed in 2003, but she's not ready to reveal it yet. So who knows? She might attempt to blame it on a Mexican gang - or she might have evidence that a convoy of Platinum Club dancers followed Davis, seeking at least a credit card.

Cilla McCain told me her goal in this book is to provide "justice for the family" of Richard Davis. She explains father Lanny Davis can't believe three suspected soldiers received plea bargains, while the main culprit in the killing did not receive the death penalty. This wasn't traditional "Southern justice" - it was more like a federal appeals court in San Francisco.

In fact, Cilla McCain expects Mario Navarrete will receive a new trial for his role in the killing of Richard Davis. Not because Bobby Peters was his lawyer - but because the attorney who replaced Peters after the 2004 election was weakened by cancer. So if this case didn't have enough famous names already, Eve Tidwell might show up in court.

Cilla McCain has written novels and short stories, but never a nonfiction book project like this one. She says it's kept her busy all summer, and a book proposal won't be ready for publishers until October or November. This proposal will be so large, it might be mistaken for a suspect's appeal brief.

Cilla McCain says she hopes to focus her book on the effects of Richard Davis's death on his family. She notes there's never been a killing like this, with members of the same Army platoon turning on one of their own. Not in the U.S. Army, at least. Maybe when Saddam Hussein ruled over Iraq....

E- MAIL UPDATE: Yet another message about the late Dr. Eric Buffong? Yes, one more....

I wanted to speak to you earlier but I was was busy celebrating [smiley face] , I would not mind talking with you again in ref to the Good Doctor!!!!!

Who would have sent this message? A woman who claims Dr. Buffong abused her in his office - a woman we interviewed for this blog earlier this year and called Gina [9 May]. For her, the only "good" about the doctor may have to do with good riddance.

The woman called us at home the other night, and didn't have anything more to add to her e-mail. From a base human standpoint, I can see why she might celebrate Dr. Eric Buffong's death. It's a bit like the way many Atlanta Falcons fans felt, when owner Rankin Smith died. After years of losing, I almost expected a celebration on Peachtree Street.

Yet looking at this from a distance, I'm ashamed for this woman "celebrating" Dr. Eric Buffong's death in a car crash. Death should be a sober subject - unless maybe you've played those Columbine video games I saw on TV Thursday night.

Next we move to the Muscogee County schools....

What? King Phillips is going to build himself a royal palace with millions of tax dollars while our kids are still in old portable buildings and 10' wide trailers that if on a residential lot Special Enforcement would have condemned..

Well! I think I see your point. If the school district is going to have a new main office, the staff should work in trailers for a year or two first. It's called "feeling your pain."

There's been talk in recent weeks about possibly building a new main office for the school district on the grounds of Columbus Public Library. From what I understand, there's NO final decision yet. They could be creative, paint the new building green and try to disguise it as a park.

The Muscogee County School District was a front-page topic in the Ledger-Enquirer Thursday, but for another reason. The schools have a shortage of 2,710 textbooks. I never realized Columbus had so many hungry dogs....

The Muscogee County School Board will vote next week on replacing the missing 2,710 textbooks. They'll cost about $149,000, which computes to about 55 dollars a textbook. Our schools don't need desks for those books - they need fancy coffee tables for displaying them.

As for Muscogee County School Superintendent John Phillips - and by the way, I don't refer to him as "King;" I tend to call him "Papa John...." as in pizza....

But anyway: Dr. John Phillips will make another trip to Washington next week. He's still trying to gain money from Congress for expansion required by base realignment. Maybe he should take Northern Little League baseball players with him - because they're becoming selling points for almost everything else in Columbus.

Now for other notes from a warm Thursday:

+ A twilight run down Broadway revealed WRBL didn't quite tell the full story with its Wednesday "StreetScape" update. The west side of the STREET is now open in the 1000 block - but the SIDEWALK isn't completely open yet. And the street isn't quire wide enough anymore for me to share the path with a wide-body pickup.

+ The Russell County School Board interviewed three finalists for Superintendent. One of them is 37-year-old Robert Griffin, who told WRBL he's "not going to retire in two or three years." That's nice to know - but in Russell County, he might be more likely to face arrest in that time.

+ The Columbus Convention and Visitors Bureau reported tourists spent about $291 million in the area last year. I'm not sure how the bureau figures out this number. Maybe restaurant owners are keeping secret logs of all the diners who don't have Southern accents.

+ Samsung pledged one million dollars to the new National Infantry Museum. Samsung is a South Korean company - so maybe the large green space on the museum grounds will include a demilitarized zone.

+ Top-ranked LaGrange jolted Jordan in high school football 45-0. I don't want to say this was an ugly game - but Jordan's red home uniforms disguised the blood stains very well.

+ Online reports indicated the band Green Day will perform at the Atlanta Falcons' upcoming game in New Orleans. They've stumped me with this one. Shouldn't Green Day appear at a Philadelphia Eagles game -- or at least the Tulane Green Wave?

+ Instant Message to the big rig driver who honked his horn, as I turned onto U.S. 431 northbound. I was about four seconds ahead of you. You had a left lane available, from what I saw. Was your speeding truck lacking both brakes AND steering?

COMING SATURDAY: Who's laughing at some people's disasters? You may not believe the answer....

Today's main topic was the result of a blog reader's tip. To offer a story tip, advertise or comment on
this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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14 SEP 06: THE BIG BROTHER HOUSE

Dateline NBC began showing the results of a Harris County child predator sting Wednesday night. We're now waiting to learn whether anyone has gone to the undercover house in Fortson, and put up a "Tourism Works Here" sign.

News of the child predator sting came out in late July, when 20 suspects appeared in Harris County court [30 Jul]. Dateline NBC's Chris Hansen said it happened in "rural Fortson, 90 minutes south of Atlanta." We thank him for not undoing all the good publicity from the Columbus Northern Little League team.

Only eight of the 20 Fortson suspects were shown on Dateline NBC Wednesday. The others will be shown on three upcoming Friday nights. I haven't seen these "To Catch a Predator" shows before - so does the audience vote on which one gets the death penalty?

The Perverted Justice web site and the Harris County Sheriff's Office arranged meetings in Fortson through a Yahoo! Chat room, then printed out logs of the rather steamy conversations. I've never even been able to save Yahoo chats on my hard drive - so how did the law officers do it? Was their "Active X" turned into "Active XXX" for cases like this?

Harris County Sheriff Mike Jolley made a short appearance during the Dateline NBC program, more than halfway into the hour. Yes, he was seen in that dress uniform with four stars on each side - the sort of outfit I don't think Muscogee County Sheriff Ralph Johnson even wears on Patriots Day.

But the political winner of the night was NOT Sheriff Mike Jolley. That prize goes to Harris County School Board member Karen Hopkins, whose reelection commercial appeared on WLTZ three times before and during Dateline NBC. Yet Hopkins never said how she would improve the education of 14-year-old decoys -- which I think her drop-dead gorgeous blonde daughter could be.

(Isn't that amazing -- Karen Hopkins appearing three times during a child predator sting hour? You'd think that crime-fighter Mark Taylor would have shown up at least once....)

But let's get to the real alleged "stars" of the show. Dateline NBC began with an Atlanta construction worker with the online name "Scooby Doo at 101." That must be the cartoon character's age in dog years now....

Scooby Doo at 101 asked several leading questions of an online decoy. For instance, he asked if the girl "knows how to ride." He must not have realized this weekend's big rodeo is in Hamilton, not Fortson.

When Harris County Sheriff's officers arrested Scooby Doo at 101, the suspect said: "Why don't you just shoot me?" Once again, we see the Kenneth Walker case was an exception and not the rule....

The next guest in the Fortson house was "Zavior 01," who is a volunteer "media director" at a church. I guess that means he's in charge of radio and TV broadcasts - and I wonder if those broadcasts talk more about donating money than avoiding sin.

Zavior 01 asked a decoy during an online chat if the presumed teenage girl was wet. That is SUCH a Southern thing. If we're not divided over racial matters, we're divided into wet counties and dry counties.

Then came "Need a Friend to Talk to 2005," a carpenter from the Macon area. He actually showed up at the Fortson house with an overnight bag - so perhaps after molesting the teenage girl, he was going to offer cigarettes to smoke the next morning.

Need a Friend to Talk to 2005 happens to have a MySpace section in which he declares, "Jesus rocks!" OK, but did he bother saying that prayer about "lead us not into temptation"?

During his online chat with a decoy, Need a Friend to Talk to 2005 asked: "Can you do deep throat?" Huh?! I haven't even heard anyone imitate Richard Nixon in years....

Another suspect at the Fortson house was "Broken Empires" - only he drove up as an arrest was in progress, and decided to drive away. Sheriff's officers tracked him down and arrested him on Interstate 185. For what reason - a broken speed limit?

The chat log of Broken Empires shows he asked for a teenage decoy's bra size. So apparently it's against the law even to shop at Victoria's Secret, before you date a teenager.

Then there was "Hold You Closer 2003," who wrote online if he met a teenage decoy, "my tongue would be all over you." If this man was trying to get people to adopt animals at the Humane Society, that sort of language might be acceptable.

A man named "Perfect Buddy Georgia" admitted to Dateline NBC he was desperate for a girl in his life. In fact, he was SO desperate that he sent a teenage decoy eight pictures of his (ahem) secret parts. I never watched "Sex and the City," but I don't think they went even that far....

Another visitor to the Fortson house was "SW GA Male Yess" - who admitted to detectives he's a former Baptist minister. He reportedly proposed a threesome with the teenage decoy and his current girlfriend. Once and for all: this is NOT a proper way to illustrate a trinity.

SW GA Male Yess actually tried to run from the Fortson house and elude arrest. But a Harris County Sheriff's officer stopped him with a stun gun - the closest this Baptist minister probably wants to come to a lightning bolt from the heavens.

The last suspected predator to visit Fortson was "Tunnels 12000" - a single father of two who actually builds tunnels. Thankfully, the house in Fortson didn't have any where he could hide....

Tunnels 12000 admitted to Dateline NBC he's a lonely 38-year-old man. So why go online, to find friendship with a teenage girl? Whatever happened to the good old days - when lonely old men went to the end of the bar, like Norm on "Cheers?"

One issue Dateline NBC did not address was the complaint some attorneys of the suspects have raised - that the men are victims of entrapment. For instance, I couldn't help noticing how the decoy girl inside the house in Fortson invited so many men to have "sweet tea." In my case, fudge brownies would have served about the same purpose.

I was a bit surprised Dateline NBC put "To Catch a Predator" in the so-called "family hour" of prime-time TV, at 8:00 p.m. ET. But then again, it must have been a tough decision -- either to show that crackdown early, or that blonde schoolteacher accused of seducing a teenage student. NBC decided to keep the guys watching as long as possible....

District Attorney Grey Conger told the Ledger-Enquirer the other day he plans to get a copy of the Dateline NBC tape, and use it in trying the suspected predators. If the arrests and explanations of the suspects don't convict them, the grim-looking face of Stone Phillips just might.

E-MAIL UPDATE: Our dumpster discussion on Wednesday brought this comment, which is similar to one we received a few weeks ago [4 Aug]:

there is a noise ordinance on what time dumpsters can be dumped...get the name off the dumpster call the company ..tell them you will call special enforcement if they violate this ordinance...I think is says they can't be dumpted between 10PM and 5AM..I'll look it up in city code book and let you know correctly..My neighbor has handled the one for my neighborhood..Even went to AL to talk to company home office..."Dumping the dumpster" was curtailed about a yr now has started back at Fri 4AM....This was reported to special enforcement..A Mr Green told me he came out at 4AM caught truck issued a warning..I talked to a supervisor at special enforcement there was no record of the warning..Mr Green told me a little green lie to get me off his back..

Thanks for the update - and remember: it's not easy being Mr. Green.

(Maybe this should be the next Dateline NBC project: "To Catch a Noisemaker.")

Now for some quick highlights from the Wednesday news:

+ WRBL reported panhandling is increasing in the 1000 block of Broadway. What makes this so surprising is that the beggars are NOT business owners, who lost sales to the "StreetScape" work.

(Business owners told WRBL some of the beggars are moving south of Broadway, into the Historic District. Well, I wondered where they'd been all summer. Maybe it's already too cold to work in Minnesota and Michigan.)

+ The Columbus Chamber of Commerce introduced a new program for small businesses called "iWOW." Please don't be confused. That's short for "Incubator Without Walls" - it is NOT what people say when pictures of Eva Longoria show up on their iPods.

+ The owner of Valdosta's Wild Adventures theme park filed for bankruptcy protection. Apparently this was done to avoid a wild adventure by the company's accountants....

+ A Zogby poll showed Libertarian Garrett Hayes receiving eight percent of the vote in the Georgia Governor's race. Does this mean Georgians are fed up with the two main parties - or does it mean Sonny Perdue and Mark Taylor's commercials are so bland that few people care about them?

(Meanwhile, aides to Secretary of State Cathy Cox say she'll miss this weekend's state Democratic convention in College Park - because she'll be out of the country. When she's going that far to avoid Mark Taylor, Georgia Republicans may have found their next Zell Miller.)

+ Instant Message to the board of Hewlett-Packard: What's all this stuff I'm hearing about your company and "pretexting?" Is that where you write out a text message, before you send it?

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.39 a gallon at Spectrum, Wynnton Road and Brown Avenue.... 20-ounce sodas for 50 cents at Walgreens.... and the Mayor's "Patriotic Blood Drive" from 10:00 a.m. - 3:00 p.m. today at the Government Center, to learn if you're red or blue-blood....

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 8315 (+ 254, 3.2%)

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13 SEP 06: DOWN IN THE DUMPSTERS

One of the topics at Tuesday's Columbus Council meeting was dumpsters. That upset business owner Frank Comer, who said the Council should be discussing prostitution instead. But if you're going to clean up Columbus, doesn't the trash have to go somewhere?

Columbus Council decided to review city rules on dumpsters. Under rules adopted last year, they're supposed to be surrounded by walls on three sides, with a gate on the fourth side - you know, a bit like the city limits....

The goal of the city rules is to make dumpsters outside businesses less of an eyesore. Besides, they reinforce a great Columbus tradition -- of keeping trashy little secrets hidden and out of public view.

The city dumpster rules are expected to be followed in all new developments. But some Columbus Councilors believe it's time to crack down on unsightly dumpsters in established businesses -- or as some might call them, the "has-bins."

Frank Comer, who owns Chapman's party shop on Wynnton Road, was one of the major critics of the dumpster rules at Tuesday's Columbus Council meeting. In a way, this seems strange - because Chapman's sells all sorts of colorful paper and balloons, which could make waste bins look bright and attractive.

The owners of businesses such as Chapman's argue it costs too much money and time to put walls around their dumpsters. Of course, they missed a great opportunity to save money a few weeks ago. There were free bricks available, after a storm damaged the wall at Golden Park.

The business owners also claim that even if walls are built around dumpsters, some areas still will look messy and trashy. This is where employers should use some common sense - and have the trash taken out by aspiring basketball players.

Councilor Evelyn Turner Pugh told WRBL all sides of Columbus should have uniform dumpster rules so they look nice. In fact, a nightclub one block from my home has a wide-open dumpster now. Perhaps with three soundproofed walls around it, the 3:00 a.m. pickup times wouldn't be so noisy [4 Aug].

(At least most of the dumpsters in Columbus are painted green, so they can blend in with landscaping. Imagine how many beggars would find them and look for dinner if they were bright yellow.)

The Columbus Council will examine the dumpster issue in-depth at a work session in two weeks. In the meantime, businesses should be thankful they're not in a college town like Athens - where students probably would demand a second bin in the back, to keep recycled white paper.

Columbus isn't the only place where trash is a touchy topic. Some Marion County residents said Tuesday night they may go to court, to stop new rules requiring them to pay for curbside garbage service. The county actually is buying residents giant trash cans - so how many citizens are lining those cans with campaign posters?

Marion County will switch in October from free trash disposal at a county dump, to curbside collection costing $15 a month. It's no wonder some residents are upset about this -- especially the men. They can't use "I'm taking out the garbage" as an excuse anymore, to make side trips to bars.

I served as a "housesitter" several years ago for a suburban Atlanta family, which went on a cross-country vacation. One of my tasks involved taking trash to the town dump - but I had to drive the family's spare car to do it, because it had a city sticker making me legal. How embarrassing it would have been, to be caught holding the bag....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Now to Tuesday's Ledger-Enquirer, which one of our readers may feel like throwing in a dumpster....

Well, after reading Ms. Sledge's newest article "Heroes come in all colors" I now feel that being racist must be hereditary in her family at least. I vowed to myself that I would quit reading her article since all it does is give her a voice for her thoughts regarding her recist views but I slipped up today. There are more important things to reflect on when remembering 9/11 and the color of someones skin rates zero in most peoples books. Even when all of 9/11 was going on everyone near that was gray from the events.

Now, now! Kaffie Sledge could have gone even farther -- but she stopped short of declaring Kenneth Walker a hero.

I'd think the e-mailer at least would agree with the headline of Tuesday's Kaffie Sledge column: "Heroes come in all colors." You'll notice in the last few weeks, many Columbus residents have decided heroes can wear light blue baseball uniforms....

Kaffie Sledge talked to her aunt for Tuesday's column. Alma Brown is quoted as saying: "Black people are sick of hearing the same stories about 9/11." In fact, a pro football game Sunday night almost had more viewers than the two "9/11" movies on other networks combined -- so this may not be a racial thing.

If you think back a few years, the September 11 attacks exposed some racial issues - not in Columbus, but the Northeast. Remember the picture of the three firefighters raising a flag amid the rubble in New York? That was all the photographer's fault, you know -- for not finding a diverse group of stand-ins on the spur of the moment.

(And what about the stories some groups spread, claiming no Jews or members of other ethnic communities died in the September 11 attacks? The list of victims read every year should teach us better than that. Or maybe we should borrow a baseball statistician for a day - to break down the list not only by skin color, but how many people lived in New Jersey.)

Can we accept the fact that some journalists act as watchdogs for certain groups and causes? Kaffie Sledge has her main issues, just as Lou Dobbs and Bill O'Reilly have theirs. The difference is simply that Tavis Smiley and "Air America" radio don't seem to have discovered Sledge yet.

And if you don't like one journalist's point of view, there's a very simple answer - stay away from him or her. As some people like to say: if you ignore something long enough, it will disappear and never.... oh wait. The September 11 attack disproved that, didn't it?

Now for other things which appeared before our very eyes on Tuesday:

+ A fraternity alumni house caught fire on Second Avenue in the Historic District. Firefighters blamed it on vagrants, who were spending the night in crawl space under the building. I didn't realize all the bed and breakfasts were taken, for that Georgia Conference on Tourism....

+ Sheriff Tommy Boswell went before the Russell County Commission, with his request for a department-wide 20 percent raise. Commissioner Peggy Martin admitted to WRBL she'll have to do some "soul-searching" about it. Not because of the Sheriff, of course - because of how State Senate opponent Ted Little might twist her vote in the campaign.

+ A.L. Dowdell won a runoff for a seat on the Auburn City Council, even though opponent Verlinda White claimed Dowdell really lives in Columbus. Hey, that reminds me - has anyone seen State Senator Ed Harbison since he won the Georgia Primary?

+ Instant Message to the Opelika Middle School student who called in bomb threats on September 11, whomever you are: If you don't like the way the renovations look, your parents should have complained to the school board a couple of years ago.

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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12 SEP 06: WHO'S GOT GAME?

The operators of an Internet Café in Phenix City agreed to shut down Monday. For some reason, the District Attorney's office was suspicious about it. Any café that dares to name itself "Sweepstakes" takes that chance - especially when the nearest dog-racing track is more than an hour away.

Prosecutors said the Sweepstakes Internet Café on the 280 Bypass wasn't really about the Internet at all. They claimed it was really about video gambling - and we don't mean watching "YouTube" clips of World Series of Poker bloopers.

Russell County prosecutors suspected for weeks the Sweepstakes Internet Café actually was a front for video slot machines. Don't you wonder how they were tipped off to this? Did some weirdo go there to look at X-rated web sites - only to see nothing but cherries and lemons?

The evening newscasts reported the Sweepstakes Internet Café "agreed" to shut down, but that may be misleading. Manager Georgia Russell told WRBL the whole thing was "unfair." And if anyone should know the meaning of unfair, it's the operator of video gambling machines....

Georgia Russell of G&R Enterprises claims similar Internet cafes are opening across Alabama - apparently doing the same sort of thing her café on the 280 Bypass was doing. She wouldn't comment on camera beyond that. But apparently "free wi-fi" is a scarce commodity outside Auburn.

But if it's so unfair, why is the Sweepstakes Internet Café agreeing to close? Did Georgia Russell expect better treatment, because she has the same name as the county?

The "agreement" to shut down the Internet café was announced by Russell County assistant prosecutor Buster Landrieu. The managers also promise never to open a similar café in the county again - so Buster Landrieu's nickname should be "Move."

(If the Internet café is leaving Russell County for good, I think there's a message here - the business rental cost in Smiths Station is lower.)

It's a tough time for game operators of all kinds. Someone tried a short time back to open an old- fashioned game room in the Oakland Park Shopping Center on South Lumpkin Road in Columbus. It had barely opened when the "for sale" sign went up. The storefront churches in that center must have noticed the Ms. Pac-Man game, and decided that was one sin too many.

"The Game Room" (as it was called) seemed like a great old-school idea - giving young people a place to have fun after classes and on weekends. I can only assume it didn't catch on. Maybe the young people along South Lumpkin Road have found the one boy with an X-Box....

To be honest, it's hard for me to imagine ANY game room succeeding in 2006 - even the borderline legal ones. Adults can go to gambling web sites in the privacy of their homes nowadays. Or they can do some even wilder wheeling and dealing online -- and swap fantasy football players.

On top of that, many children have video games in their homes these days. Why walk or pedal down a few blocks to be a "pinball wizard," when you can zap space aliens from several galaxies without ever getting off the couch?

Meanwhile, the latest entry in Columbus's biggest game room officially introduced itself Monday. The new team in the World Indoor Football League will be called the Columbus Lions. Isn't this inspiring - named after a National Football League team which hasn't won a championship since 1957.

Lions co-owner Zach McDonald declared Columbus is a "football town," as long as a team plays "quality football." There's one good way to find out if the new indoor football team does that - schedule a pre-season game against Troy University.

E-MAIL UPDATE: We have several messages to consider today, starting with one from a relative newcomer:

Dear Sir,

I moved to this area at the beginning of this year and discovered your blog a few months ago. I check your page most days. It helps keep me up to date on some of the goings on around town. I have one question though: Do you have something against the CBS station here in town? Over the past few weeks, I've noticed quite a few jabs thrown their way. Some of them, downright mean. I don't know what the history is with the TV stations in this area, but I happen to enjoy watching Channel 3. It seems unfair that you pick on them so much. I think the people who work there do a fine job of reporting the news. Much better than the ABC station in Columbus. (And the NBC channel doesn't even have a news program -- I found that shocking!). I guess I would let your comments slide, but they seem almost hypocritical. You talk a great deal about being a Christian and what not, yet some of the mean things you say seem very un-christian like. Of course, I am not a church-goer, so I might be a bit off on that, but for a man who is as seemingly religious as you are, some of your jabs come as a surprise. Why aren't you an equal opportunity offender? I'm sure there are things you can talk about when it comes to the ABC channel. If you can't come up with any, I can help. The few times I've watched their news, I felt as if I were in Mayberry. Snooze! I guess this isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I've just noticed a pattern of this in your writing and was curious to know why. This is in no way "hate mail" or anything like that, just merely an observation.

Yours truly,

T. Jackson

Columbus, GA

First of all, thank you for not writing hate mail. I'm still trying to clean the scarlet L off my chest - from being a business loser.

If Mr. or Ms. T. doesn't mind, I'd like to save the section about "Christian comments" for our Saturday religious discussion. But as for all the notes about WRBL - well, let's put it this way. Mr. "Hey Lee" at that other station is really powerful. One mention of this blog in an editorial, and I could be out of business in no time.

Someone actually tried writing a blog taking aim at WTVM several months ago. But after a few entries, it stopped. Maybe the writer decided that station really wasn't all that bad. Or maybe he's now turning to WLTZ NBC-38 to watch "Girlfriends" at 6:00 p.m. - although he'd better not take Persia White, because I saw her first.

On the other hand, some of the best story tips your blog has received over the last few years actually have come from WRBL. We've heard from staff members, both past and present. And we were in federal court for the station's discrimination trial last year -- although thankfully, no one called me to the witness stand to disclose my sources.

(By the way: we now understand several WRBL staff members actually try to be perfectionists. That's nice to know -- but I'd point out when Tammy Terry said she was, she quickly added she was "recovering" from it.)

T. may not realize NBC-38 has a "news program" of sorts. Two years ago, "Rise and Shine" at 6:00 a.m. had the most talked-about debate of the local campaign season. So far this year, all I've noticed are competing Bob Poydasheff and Jim Wetherington campaign signs in front of a refrigerator.

Our next e-mailer may have noticed something missing here in recent weeks:

Can you give us the latest Arbirton Ratings for the Columbus radio stations.

I wish I could give them to you - and I've been waiting to report on the spring ratings for about a month. But the Arbitron rating service has put an "embargo" on the numbers, in Columbus as well as other cities. That means they're not available to the public - at least until some White House official leaks them to Robert Novak.

It's not clear why Arbitron is holding the release of the Columbus radio numbers - but I'm going to take a guess. I've been told the spring ratings showed WRCG ahead of WDAK in the morning, even though WRCG still has a weak signal. Is WDAK challenging the numbers? Or are "TalkLine" hosts Antonio Carter and Robbie Watson simply that loud?

Today's last e-mail is short and to the point:

Just don't give up writing the blog.I look foward to reading it ever day.

Well, thank you. I'm finding blogs tend to get much more distance than frisbees do.

Now for some quick closing thoughts from a sober and quiet Patriot Day, which felt a bit to me like a Christmas Day:

+ I was waving a little U.S. flag in front of the TV set at the end of the national evening news - when the flagstick broke off in my hand. Given what happened to me with Power Frisbee, we all may have only a few weeks to flee to Canada.

+ WGSY "Sunny 100 FM" played a strange September 11 tribute, with President Bush talking about "defending freedom" while John Lennon sang "Imagine." Really now -- can you imagine those two people sharing the same side of the table, when it comes to the fighting in Iraq?

+ Alabama Governor Bob Riley announced the introduction of "God Bless America" license plates, to go on sale in October. This is what makes our country so great - because you never see a car in other countries with "Allah Loves Iraq" bumper stickers.

+ Instant Message to Britt David School counselor Dr. Bunny Chapman: Oh dear, how do I ask this - are the students allowed to call you Doctor Bunny? Or is that reserved for your husband, late at night?

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for 11 SEP 06: WHEN THE WORLD STOPPED TURNING

The lead story was Michael Jordan. At least it was for me. Hot rumors about Jordan coming out of retirement were the top item in my LaughLine edition of Tuesday, September 11, 2001 - and I mean to play basketball, not to play baseball in Birmingham.

I used to spend some very late nights writing LaughLine, and e-mailing it to subscribers across the U.S. So I went to bed after sending the September 11, 2001 edition around 3:00 a.m. It was after 10:00 that morning when I woke up and offered my usual morning prayer, as if it was another ordinary day. Perhaps this will teach me to pray, before hearing any news to pray about.

After the morning prayer, I turned on what used to be "ESPN Radio 1270" - and heard the voice of Peter Jennings instead of talk show host Tony Kornheiser. This seemed unusual, especially since Jennings wasn't talking at all about ice hockey.

Wondering what was up, I turned on TV - and then I learned it wasn't what was up, but what was down. ABC News showed a replay of one of the World Trade Center towers, collapsing before my very eyes. You don't really see that tape on newscasts today, even five years later. So you see - some journalists do have a little heart and compassion for viewers.

In that moment, as I watched one of the towers topple, I sized up what must have happened. An organized group must have come together after I went to bed, just as I'd heard ministers predict for years would someday happen. It was the great attack by the European Union - "so fast it will make your head spin," as one Pastor would say. Only here I was staring, more than spinning....

The church denominations I attend have warned for decades that someday Europe will attack the U.S. and win, taking the people of our country slaves. So this HAD to explain what happened at the World Trade Center. The church group which claimed to have a "more sure word of prophecy" called it, right? Well, uhhhh - nowadays I read more about the U.S. government plotting September 11, than I do the European plots.

No, my church denomination never prophesied that the September 11 attacks would occur the way they did. In fact, it occurred to me only recently that the ministers have never apologized for getting it wrong. They've plowed right on, explaining how current events somehow will make their prophetic views turn out accurate. Yet still, no angry French leaders have taken President Bush hostage.

But there was little time to analyze such things on September 11, 2001. A local TV station needed me to work that day. I had inside information that a news producer was about to be fired, and I'd be filling in for him -- only I was called in early for other duties. That producer still may not realize his job was extended one day by a bunch of radical terrorists.

We noted here from court documents last year how the September 11 attacks wound up saving Phil Scoggins's job at WRBL [7 Feb 05]. It also created some new jobs in Columbus as well - as security personnel were added to places such as the Government Center. And in true Columbus fashion, those people actually are friendly and smile at you once in a while.

This fifth anniversary of "Terror Tuesday" is a time to think about how much has changed since the attacks. You can see the evidence of it across the Columbus area....

+ Concrete barriers are in place in front of the main entrance to the Civic Center, along with a giant U.S. flag. Yet Sunday night cruisers still party in other parts of the parking lot.

+ One of the gates entering the Columbus Water Works plant on River Road is permanently closed. I'm not sure what happens if you try to enter through it. I'd guess giant water cannons are sprayed on you.

+ A small marker at the south end of the Phenix City Riverwalk remembers those who died in the September 11 attacks. If only they had been military veterans - things would be much more elaborate.

+ Fort Benning soldiers don't receive scoffing from some people, the way they did early in 2001. Now the thought of young men signing up for basic training actually has some logical sense behind it.

+ The presence of white powder can evacuate post offices, or even floors of the Government Center. Sales of talcum powder may never recover from that.

+ Gas prices are well above two dollars a gallon, even with the drop of recent weeks - but oh yeah, that has nothing to do with terrorism, does it?

If there's a memorial service planned in Columbus to mark September 11, I haven't heard it announced anywhere. I went to a couple in 2001, then to anniversary services in 2002 and 2003 - but was disappointed in 2004, when our weekly church service fell on that date and the Pastor decided to give a sermon on food. [True!]

The evening news Sunday noted how the fervor to attend church services jumped after September 11, 2001, but has come down since then. I guess that's why I was disappointed with the turnout at that Lakebottom Park prayer event over the weekend. More people seemed to be talking to the dogs they were walking.

Here's hoping you take some time today to think about the events of five years ago, what's happened since -- and how things might someday end. U.S. generals are calling this "The Long War." And if it's the religious war some say it is, Someone bigger than we are will have to intervene -- and tell us once and for all which group was right. If any.

COMING TUESDAY: An e-mailer wants equal time, to pick on WTVM....

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10 SEP 06: THIS OLD HOUSE?

Did we forget to celebrate something in Columbus this year? The Civic Center just marked its tenth anniversary. You might be able to fill it halfway, simply with the sports teams which have come and gone since it opened....

I was reminded of the Civic Center's anniversary the other day, as I considered a surprising comment by the owner of the Atlanta Falcons. Arthur Blank told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution it's time to plan for a new home football stadium, to replace the Georgia Dome. What does he propose doing with the dome - filling it with aquarium water, too?

The Atlanta Falcons open a new season today, and will play home games in the Georgia Dome for the 15^th year. Yet Arthur Blank says it's already time to plan for a replacement?! Does he realize how many of those seats went unused for several years, when the team had losing records?

Arthur Blank explains domed stadiums get more of a workout than other football stadiums, so the Georgia Dome is rather old at 14 years. Maybe it's needed more Billy Graham campaigns, and fewer appearances by T.D. Jakes.

I went to the Falcons' final game at Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium in December 1991. The Falcons beat Seattle, getting a safety on quarterback Kelly Stouffer. And I had field-level seats in a corner of the end zone - which allowed me to see part of the game, once the people in the rows in front of me finally decided to sit down.

The Georgia Dome was built in part to remove bad sight lines from the old baseball/football stadium - and in part to keep former Falcons owner Rankin Smith from moving the team to Jacksonville. I suppose nowadays, Arthur Blank could threaten to move the Falcons to Los Angeles. Uh-oh -- come to think of it, there's already a stadium there with the "Home Depot" name on it.

The Atlanta Falcons are under contract to play in the Georgia Dome until 2020, or until the bonds for the stadium are paid off. After that, Arthur Blank wants a new downtown stadium with a retractable roof. I remember the August night when a thunderstorm put a hole in the dome's roof - but no one was forward-thinking then.

(In fact, I noticed the hole in the roof as I went to work at CNN Center on a Sunday morning, and told the newsroom staff about it. But it wasn't considered a network news story until an Atlanta TV station showed up to shoot videotape of it. They handled anti-war protests outside CNN Center the same way -- too busy watching the world to notice their own neighborhood.)

Philips Arena opened near the Georgia Dome only seven years ago, replacing the Omni for basketball and hockey. Now Atlanta needs a new football stadium?! Why not simply hire a firm full-time, to keep building sports complexes? Football first, then baseball to replace Turner Field, then basketball again....

I mention all this to wonder if Columbus city officials are thinking way ahead, as Arthur Blank is. Has any thought been given about the next generation of sports arenas and stadiums? Do we have to wait for the Cottonmouths to threaten a move to.... well, the AF2 league moved to Albany, and is doing all right....

Some people say while "historic Golden Park" is historic, it's in a bad location at South Commons. Should a new baseball stadium be built on the north side of Columbus? Should it be built on the grounds of the Northern Little League - so that organization doesn't threaten to move to Marion County?

At ten years old, the Civic Center doesn't seem that ancient. After all, it was used this weekend for something quite young - the Junior League Attic Sale....

But recall a few months ago, when the Columbus Civic Center tried to sell sponsorship rights - and no one was willing to make the minimum bid. Does that make the arena a liability? Or is everyone waiting for Councilor Jack Rodgers to leave office, so it can be named after him?

Arthur Blank says it takes years to plan and build the next generation of a sports stadium. So do we need to start planning now, for the Civic Center's successor? It could have a new "Jumbotron" scoreboard - or even a scratched or dented big-screen TV from Best Buy.

The Civic Center's successor could be along the lines of what they're talking about building at Auburn University - a successor to Beard-Eaves Coliseum. We noted here earlier this year how far-fetched that idea seemed. But with enough reserved skyboxes, I suppose anything is possible....

E-MAIL UPDATE: Speaking of allegedly old things....

Mr. Burkard,

To answer your question on how old the picture of my grandfather is, assuming it was the same time we took the family picture that is on the website, I believe it was about 6 years ago during the summer. I might be mistaken, but I also want to add that the family picture of the Wetherington family on Mr. Wehteringtons website doesn’t seem to be recent either. I just graduated with two of his grandsons and obviously, the children in the picture don’t seem to be very old.

Always,

Poydasheff's Grandson

Take that, you scoffers! Mayor Bob Poydasheff really hasn't aged since 2000. But maybe all the candidates need to arrange Annie Liebowitz photo shoots, at Tom Cruise's secure undisclosed location....

What does it say when eight weeks before the Columbus mayoral election, the big debating point is the campaign pictures of the candidates? Instead of looking over the paragraphs of their platforms, we're analyzing the lines around their eyes and on their foreheads.

Here's one more e-mail, which came from someone at WRBL about something we wrote Friday:

Dearest Richard-

In response to "it's clear which station the boys are watching" comment: They are 12. Do you really think they're watching news? No insult taken.

Well, why wouldn't the world champion Northern Little League team be watching the evening news? Their parents probably have shelves filled with videotaped highlights already.

I was watching the evening news before I turned 12, but admittedly that was a different era. At the risk of showing my age, I only had about four TV stations to choose from at 6:00 p.m. - and that was in Kansas City, where there should have been more money and viewers interested in something else.

Watching the local evening news in my youth actually made me interested in a journalism career. So I don't think the age of the Little Leaguers has anything to do with this. The fact that they're baseball players might, though -- because I have yet to see one of them try to imitate Skip Carey, or even Dave Platta.

That reminds me: the Northern All-Stars traveled to Turner Field in Atlanta Saturday. They met major-league players, and even took the field with them. And here's what made things even more amazing - this year, Northern has a much better winning percentage.

Did you hear about the Northern All-Stars hiring a public relations firm? WRBL reports the team has hired Marquette McKnight's "Media, Marketing and More," because it's getting so many requests for appearances. At this rate, the team won't need to raise money for its next trip to the Little League World Series - the appearance fees already will be in the bank.

(I would make one suggestion to the team, though. If you're asked to appear with Terrell Owens or his agent, run as fast as you can.)

Now let's put our bats and gloves back in the closet, and send some Instant Messages....

+ To the organizers of that "community prayer" event at Lakebottom Park: Fewer than 15 people showed up. The people in charge apparently were late. And the main musician lost track of time, rehearsing two students in singing "The Greatest Love of All." If this was a really campaign event for Charles Weaver, the standard DOES need raising.

+ To Brookstone School: About that "Magazine Drive" sign on the fence - are you going to have a Newspaper Avenue as well?

+ To the Bavarian House restaurant on Weems Road: It's nice to see Wally and Mike are together again, performing music this weekend. Was some extra money exchanged to ensure this - such as a Mike Check?

+ To WRBL morning anchor Tammy Terry: I appreciate the fact that you call yourself a perfectionist. It's a relief to know at least one person there is.

+ To the grounds crew at Auburn's Jordan-Hare Stadium: Your field markings are confusing me. The other night, I thought running back Kenny Irons had crossed the 150-yard line....

+ To South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier: Ouch -- shut out 18-0 by Georgia, at home!?! I'm reminded of that song from the musical "Chicago": you had it comin' , you had it comin'.

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for 9 SEP 06: TO DREAM THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

Our thanks to those of you who have written us about the end of Power Frisbee of Georgia. Here's one of the e-mails, the sort you hold close to your heart and treasure for years to come....

Your dream is dead. Get over it and get a life you loser. Nobody cares about your stupid game or your loser personal life. Stick to the news or shut it down.

If you think we make up these e-mails -- no way. This is real, and unsigned. So I don't know which friend of Dr. Eric Buffong sent it....

To be honest, I could have written much of this e-mail myself over the last couple of weeks. After more than 25 years of dreaming about starting a new sport, I thought this would be like the John Feinstein bestseller: "A Season on the Brink." Now my working book title is, "A Season Over the Cliff."

Yes, I was a loser. Yup, I failed. In fact, I told a teller at the bank with the Power Frisbee account I felt like putting a big scarlet letter F on my chest. At least some people might misunderstand, and think I'm a graduate of Florida.

When I went to church last weekend and people asked how my week was, I responded to all of them: "Failing." Most of those people went right on, not seeming to notice what I said. But a visiting radio news reporter from Jacksonville did - so there's still some hope for journalism in this country.

An old quote says it's "better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all." Whoever said that obviously didn't have to pay the bills associated with a failed business.

While I know you should "never say never," the chances are very high that I'll never dream about running my own business again. All my great ideas built over decades have run out. And wouldn't you know it - just as they do, all these mills start closing....

In fact, Sunday will feel very strange for me. Not only will we NOT go to Macon for Round 4 of Power Frisbee, I don't plan to go to a field and throw frisbees at all. The dream is THAT dead - and that disc I threw into the storm drain in late August [24 Aug] was as symbolic as I feared it might be.

I can't resist comparing what I've been through with what WRCG's Antonio Carter is doing. He announced the start of the New Joshua Generation only three days before Power Frisbee's opening night [22 Aug]. Last time I checked, his project was still going - but unlike me, Carter has a board of directors. Maybe he's borrowing money from them to keep things going.

There's been a lot of free time over the last two-plus weeks for me to think about this. My big dream melted down before my eyes, literally within hours of it coming to reality. If a planet had feelings, I would have been Pluto.

But then I remembered I've passed this way before. A few years ago, I did a Bible study on failure when another business idea died. In fact, I posted it online to share with others. But I don't recall anyone ever e-mailing me about it, so maybe it was a flop as well.

One point of that article is that even if God blows up your dream (and He has the power to do that), you're not supposed to "blow up" toward Him. Instead, you're supposed to rejoice in God even when you fail -- but of course, that isn't easy. Wal-Mart's smiley faces are only so big, for disguising your emotions.

While the Power Frisbee dream is dead, not all my dreams are. And if Katie Couric is reading this blog, I invite her to contact me this weekend -- dinner's on me.

But seriously: the biggest dream of all involves being with God in a coming glorious kingdom, described in the Bible. If the ministers I've heard are wrong about that one -- well, then maybe the Muslims and Christians should quit fighting each other, and achieve a REAL dream of peace.

If our title today sounds familiar, it's the first line of a key song from the school musical in my senior year of high school -- "Man of La Mancha." I happened to have the starring role in that production, eating out the good-looking tenor in the school choir. At last report, he was selling cars for a living in southwest Missouri.

The lead in "Man of La Mancha" sings "The Impossible Dream" during act two. It's a showstopping number, which the audiences at our high school musical seemed to like. In fact, it even earned me a surprise tearful hug from a senior cheerleader after the Friday night performance - something that never seemed to happen again.

I don't sing that song much anymore, perhaps because I sang it so much preparing for the musical. But the words still offer something about the hope I have in Someone planning things much bigger than a frisbee game:

And the world will be better for this -

That one man, torn and covered with scars,

Still strove with his last ounce of courage

To reach the unreachable star.

COMING SUNDAY: Questions about aging, involving a building and the candidates for mayor....

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8 SEP 06: THE BADGES ARE BACK

So whatever happened to former Muscogee County Marshal Ken Suddeth? Thursday's Ledger-Enquirer provided the answer. He's found a new job, as the first Chattahoochee County Police Chief. So once again, he'll face officials who want to see his job abolished....

You may remember Ken Suddeth survived a citywide referendum on abolishing his office, when he was Muscogee County Marshal. Now he's becoming a Police Chief, and a potential rival for the Chattahoochee County Sheriff. So which leader do you think will investigate the other one first?

Ken Suddeth is taking over what essentially is a brand-new police force. The Chattahoochee County Commission created it, while slashing the budget for the Sheriff's Department. Perhaps someone forgot to tell the commissioners that Suddeth turned in all those souvenir marshal's badges last year....

We actually joked in this blog two weeks ago about Ken Suddeth possibly moving to Cusseta [22 Aug]. Now here he is, becoming Chattahoochee County Police Chief - but come to think of it, maybe he'll have his own squad to commute to and from Columbus.

Someone told me Thursday the Chattahoochee County Manager lives in Columbus. Now Columbus resident Ken Suddeth is becoming Police Chief. Well, at least they can promote car pooling....

Someone else wondered what it says about Chattahoochee County to have the county manager, and now possibly the county police chief, living outside the county. But things could be worse. Former Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge just took a job advising the government of Albania. [True/Marketplace!]

Another issue involving Ken Suddeth is where he's going to find officers for his new police force. Columbus is trying to fill dozens of police openings. So what can Chattahoochee County offer than Columbus can't - except maybe that Bojangles chicken stand on Highway 520?

(Before you get big ideas: no, I can't see Ken Suddeth offering a job to David Glisson. Glisson shares the same attorney as the Chattahoochee County Sheriff - and if that sheriff hasn't hired him, maybe Glisson should try working as a private investigator.)

Meanwhile, Thursday's paper also reported there's still no budget agreement between the Chattahoochee County Commission and the Sheriff The Sheriff says the future of his department is at stake - and you might have to add an extra ten percent gratuity, for attorney Richard Hagler taking the county to court.

BLOG UPDATE: The coaches of the Northern All-Stars gave the team a surprise Thursday - driving the players to metro Atlanta to meet President Bush. The coaches say they kept it a secret from the players. Considering WRBL mentioned the trip during Wednesday night's news, it's clear what stations the players are watching.

President Bush went to Cobb County for a speech, but the Little League champions did NOT attend it. WRBL showed them in a waiting room at Dobbins Air Force Base. When you win a world title in baseball, you don't want to be bored with something as mundane as stopping terrorism.

The Little Leaguers lined up to meet President Bush, as he arrived at the air force base to fly to Savannah. Instead of baseball uniforms, they wore Columbus championship T-shirts - with a Russell Athletic logo VERY noticeable on the back. Apparently the candidates for Mayor didn't want to pay a little extra....

The President posed for a group photo with the world champions, and signed autographs for some of them. Mr. Bush told Josh Lester he could NOT hit the Little Leaguer's pitching. This may explain why they play T-ball games on the White House lawn during the summer.

Both children and adults seemed wowed by their moment with the President. Northern Little League's President called it a "once-in-a-lifetime experience" to meet a President. Well, unless you donate $10,000 like the Republicans near Savannah did....

The Little League champions head back to Atlanta this weekend, for V.I.P. treatment at Turner Field. Perhaps in their honor, the "Francoeur Franks" will dress up for a day as Northern light bulbs.

(But hold on here - two trips to Atlanta in three days?! Why not save on gas, by taking a few substitute teachers along on the trip and having class today in a motel?)

E-MAIL UPDATE: Speaking of education....

Are kids counted absent when their bus never arrives to pick them up for school? Thanks to the parent who rode the neighborhood picking up HHS students when the bus never came..Also, thanks to the policeman who broke up the fight of middle school students at the bus transfer behind the library.These kids sit on busses up to 30min awaiting the arrival of busses that are hemmed in by parents at Blackmon Rd. Hey,Principal at Blackmon...do your job and move those parents this is getting old...

OK, I give up - which school board candidate is this e-mailer trying to endorse?

The long wait for Muscogee County school buses apparently is due to more students riding them, but fewer adults driving them. Ridership seems to have increased this term, perhaps because of high gas prices. It's nice to see so many parents thinking of their children first, in planning budgets.

But as we noted here Thursday, the Muscogee County School District has about 30 openings for bus drivers. Who knows how many convicted sex offenders heard that news and said, "I wouldn't go within 1,000 feet of a job like that."

I haven't confirmed whether there actually was a rumble behind the Columbus Public Library, involving middle school students. But maybe this will inspire the library to show "West Side Story" in its theater one of these weekends.

Maybe this e-mailer wants to see more of what a Columbus police officer did Thursday. WRBL showed a fifth-grade student being handcuffed, outside River Road Elementary School. If this seems unusual, remember - most grade schools don't have lockers, for locking up children inside.

Muscogee County Superintendent John Phillips said the fifth-grader's parents actually asked for police intervention, because the child was acting dangerously in traffic. But he suggested River Road School did NOT ask police specifically to use handcuffs. So what's the second choice in a case like this - a billy club or pepper spray?

Let's all line up single-file now, and look at other Thursday news items:

+ A three-day conference ended in Phenix City, on improving law enforcement relations with the news media. I personally think local law officers do a good job now - because I hardly ever hear one on TV or radio describe a criminal with the word "perpetrator."

+ The Ledger-Enquirer reported the former managers of The Fire House club are trying to take over Club Roc in Phenix City. There's one small advantage to this move across the river. Club Roc is located across the street from a 24-hour pharmacy, for treating the injured.

+ The Columbus United Way had a kick-off luncheon, for this year's fund-raising campaign. The 2006 goal is $6.4 million - so if you stumble upon executive Guy Sims buying a Mega Millions ticket today, that's the excuse to expect.

+ Instant Message to All-Pro Muffler and Tire on Crawford Road in Phenix City: That's a new one on me. When did your car repair shop start selling pottery? Do you plan to go all the way in challenging Wal-Mart, by selling groceries?

COMING THIS WEEKEND: An e-mail about Power Frisbee you have to see to believe....

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7 SEP 06: AM I TOUGH ENOUGH?

You can tell an election is near when the candidates talk a lot about how they plan to fight crime. The one exception this year could be the Columbus Mayor's race - where the candidates seem to disagree about whether crime is a problem or not.

Three high-ranking state candidates focused on various aspects of crime Wednesday. Alabama Attorney General Troy King did so in person, visiting with Lee County law officers in Opelika. In a mild surprise, he did NOT show up to crack down on Opelika's public smoking ban....

Troy King said he's touring Alabama to make sure the state's new sex offender laws are working -- especially the one about "community notification," when a convicted sex offender moves into a neighborhood. Don't you wish they expanded that, to cover the burglars out on parole?

Lee County officials assured Attorney General King that the new sex offender laws are working. That's exactly what King wanted to hear, since he's up for election two months from today. If they said otherwise, he'd have to go door-to-door doing more than campaigning.

Troy King told reporters he's on a "listening tour" about the sex offender law. Yet he certainly was ready to talk about his ideas for making the law even tougher....

The Alabama Attorney General said he wants the death penalty for serial sex offenders. Troy King also wants convicted sex offenders barred from YMCA's -- which would make that song by the Village People outdated. Those places would NOT be for people "down and out with the blues."

Troy King's "law check" serves two purposes: he at least appears to do his job, while getting free attention for the upcoming election. King's opponent for Alabama Attorney General is a District Attorney in Mobile -- and if he's campaigned in this area, he seems to be doing it undercover.

Across the line, Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue announced his own steps against crime Wednesday -- only he focused on fraud at driver's license offices. Uh-oh, I might actually have to weigh myself the next time I'm up for renewal....

But seriously: Governor Sonny Perdue wants to crack down on the number of illegal immigrants obtaining driver's licenses. First Republicans tried to change the identification rules for voting. Now it's the rules for getting the identification. What's next - surprise raids of Mexican restaurants, to require a certain number of white servers?

Governor Sonny Perdue wants to put state investigators in the ten busiest drivers' license offices in Georgia, to monitor whether illegal immigrants are receiving licenses. If Columbus doesn't have one of the ten busiest offices, that might be grounds for an investigation of its own.

For all the attention Governor Perdue's announcement received, there's one small detail you may have overlooked. The Georgia General Assembly has to approve the proposals -- next year, after the election. Apparently the Governor doesn't consider illegal immigration as dangerous as homosexual marriage, and worthy of a special session.

Sonny Perdue's opponent in the Georgia Governor's race is also talking tough about crime these days. Mark Taylor's first TV commercial since winning the Democratic primary warns about violent criminals going free on parole. In other words, he wants Cottonmouths hockey rules - and you serve all five minutes of a major penalty for fighting.

Mark Taylor says if you vote for him two months from today, he'll offer a constitutional amendment abolishing parole for violent crimes. But don't judges and juries have the option of imposing "life without parole" sentences now? Has the "two strikes" policy suddenly changed, so foul balls don't count?

Mark Taylor warns in his commercial that some violent criminals in Georgia are receiving parole long before their sentences are over. It sounds like he's saying the policy of "time off for good behavior" suddenly is bad behavior....

(By the way, Mark Taylor speaks for himself in his latest campaign commercial. It's not clear when Andrew Young's probation period will end.)

If you're looking for a break from all these candidates holding political "tough guy" contests, I found one Wednesday in the mail. For some reason, I received another gambling offer - and discovered former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura is endorsing an online sports book. I thought Internet gambling was illegal. But then, I never thought a one-time professional wrestler would become a governor.

BLOG UPDATE: Wednesday's mail also brought a letter from recent e-mailer and blog-vertiser Dave Eversman. He sent hard copy proof that the Congress.org web site recently ranked Rep. Sanford Bishop 437^th among all House members, in the "legislation" category. Indeed, Bishop placed lower than the non-voting delegate from Guam. So do guava farmers have more clout than peanut farmers?

Yet another check of the very same rankings at Congress.org Wednesday night showed a different number for Sanford Bishop. Instead of 437^h in legislation, he's now in a tie for number 50 with 115 other House members. So if Bishop claims he's in the "top 50" among all House members, that's true - but so is everybody else.

Congress.org apparently changed its ranking numbers over the last two weeks, because the hard-copy list I was mailed showed Bishop and 115 other House members with the same score in legislation. That score was a zero - but look on the bright side. If they're not introducing bills, they're saving paper.

The Congress.org web site gave no real reason for ranking Sanford Bishop higher or lower than the 115 other House members. That's apparently why the tanking numbers were changed, to reflect a massive tie -- a tie in the standings almost as big as all college football teams had one week ago.

We should note the refigured rankings for legislation put Sanford Bishop in a last-place tie with several other Columbus-area lawmakers, including Alabama's Terry Everett and Georgia's Jim Marshall. Bishop is even tied with Atlanta lawmaker John Lewis -- only we have yet to hear Bishop brag about all the civil rights marches he's joined.

E-MAIL UPDATE: As for the top race in Columbus, our messages keep focusing on one particular big thing....

I would like to think that we could Bob Poydasheff could be fronted out for false advertising! I mean, come on, what was the real reasoning behind using a 20 year old picture of himself for his website and for his billboards. Does he think that if he looks younger he will get more votes than Jim.

Now hold on a second! If Katie Couric can have her promotional photos airbrushed, why not the Mayor?

Since so many people are bringing this up - how old IS that picture of Mayor Bob Poydasheff on the billboards? Are we going to have to bring in a team of archeologists, to use carbon dating?

Meanwhile, the write-in candidate for Mayor has at least one business backing him. A Burt Coker sign has gone up outside the downtown Meineke Muffler shop. To borrow from the TV commercials, Coker's not going to pay a lot for that endorsement.

Now let's rest our politically weary bones, and check other items from Wednesday:

+ The high temperature in Columbus was 82 degrees F., making it the city's coolest day since May 17. It was SO COOL that arguments about office thermostat settings dropped by 50 percent.

+ Muscogee County school officials said the district has about 30 openings for bus drivers. You know, this is a golden opportunity to heal relations between local leaders -- by having newly-hired police officers drive school buses for extra money.

+ The world champion Northern All-Stars Little League team was honored with lunch at the Columbus Rotary Club. Player Patrick Stallings showed up in a suit and tie, not a baseball uniform - which may mean his future in sports is as an agent.

+ Instant Message to the boy I saw punching a girl along South Lumpkin Road: After thinking it over, I should explain something I said to you. That phrase, "Can we all get along?" - someone came up with that line before you were born, so it's no wonder you answered the question no.

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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for 6 SEP 06: LOV YA BLUES

As the summer sunshine slowly fades, the blues suddenly are settling upon the Columbus area. Before some of you get the wrong idea - this part of the blog is NOT focusing on political parties.

Not one, but two new blues clubs are developing near the Chattahoochee River. The first one I noticed is "Backyard Blues," which is being prepared inside an old laundromat at Sixth Street and First Avenue. Yes, the building DOES have a backyard - but I'd guess it'll need at least a fence for legal concerts.

I stopped by Backyard Blues Tuesday night, and it wasn't open yet. But a guitar was visible through a window, as was a large antique "floor model." It was so old that the radio bands were not AM-FM, but AM-Shortwave -- so it's perfect for playing WOKS between concerts.

The location of Backyard Blues is a bit unusual. It's in the middle of the historic district, a good five-block walk from the clubs on Broadway. Unless it's Riverfest Weekend, the only active nearby business after dark is Little Joe's package store - and I'd think they'd be somewhat in competition.

Yet Backyard Blues might find a loyal following on First Avenue. For one thing, I understand there/s at least halfway house down the street - so it'll be perfect for people having a relapse.

While Backyard Blues is walking distance of my home, I doubt I'll be visiting this club much - unless they work out a marketing partnership. After all, there's only one Backyard Burgers stand in Columbus, on the other side of town....

The other new club on the way is not that long a walk from Backyard Blues. The old City Grill at Dillingham and Broad in Phenix City is turning into "Broad Street Blues." This could turn into a perfect post-game hangout for the Columbus Cottonmouths - since the major league Philadelphia Flyers used to be called the "Broad Street Bullies" years ago.

Broad Street Blues truly is starting from scratch, as a sign outside the building openly asks for amplifiers. In 2006, it does no good to have the blues unless other people can hear you and share them with you.

(But really now - advertising outside your business for used amplifiers?! At least I had enough money in my business to buy new frisbees.)

Broad Street Blues could be in on the ground floor of a renovated downtown Phenix City. Dillingham and Broad isn't far from the area where major renovations and developments are planned - but then again, it's far enough away that the police headquarters is in the path.

Phenix City doesn't really have a big-time nightclub right now. Cadillac Jack's on the 280 Bypass turned out to be a flop, and now it's "Club Roc" - offering a mix of soul, hip-hop and Spanish music. It's such a strange place, I'm not sure it even offers rock music.

These two clubs are preparing to open in the wake of last week's opening of the Ma Rainey Blues Museum on Fifth Avenue in Columbus. I drove by it on the afternoon of its ribbon-cutting, and there were NO long lines waiting to get in. In fact, Rainey's old home had no cars around it at all. The staff down Seventh Street at the unemployment office must be working harder.

You wouldn't even it was the Ma Rainey Blues Museum without the state historic marker outside the front door. I mean, what sort of blues joint doesn't have at least one neon light?

For all the stories I'd heard about Ma Rainey, I never realized until I checked her name on Wikipedia that she was bisexual. It's a wonder that during her lifetime, she didn't sing the "Columbus Stockade Blues" - because she was locked up.

Maybe this blues club trend should extend outside Columbus and Phenix City. There were plenty of reasons for other people to have the blues Tuesday. West Point Home workers in Opelika and Lanett learned their mills will close -- and then Auburn moved up a smoking ban to November.

BLOG UPDATE: The e-mailer who told us about the Congress.org web site offered more help Tuesday, in tracking down the record of Rep. Sanford Bishop. The web site "power rankings" indeed show Bishop ranks a ZERO in terms of effectiveness and influence. If it wasn't for his years of experience, this Bishop might be little more than a pawn.

E-MAIL UPDATE: The doctor is out, but he's certainly not forgotten....

Richard Burkard,

I was doing a search on obituaries for Dr. Eric Buffong who, along with his daughter Alisha, passed in a terrible car accident last week. My family was good friends with the Buffong family and I, along with my family, am deeply saddened by their deaths. For you to make the juvenile comments such as the ones about his dreadlocks even more so trivializing his death, is disgusting. I hope your views aren't representative of the views of the people of Columbus, Georgia because I'd hate to think that a whole city of people could be so incorrigible and despicable. Yes, I do know about the charges that were brought against him, but I for one, don't believe them. I don't think that my father would welcome anyone in his house if they would have the potential to do something of that nature. There are some people of a different mindset and I would not be surprised if they were just going after money. People will sue over anything these days and I do not know all the facts but the things he was accused of are not things that I could envision Dr. Buffong doing at all. He was a man that was kind hearted and quick to make you laugh and laugh himself. I'd be more than glad to hear back from you and I'd like to see you repost this email in its entirety to let the world see a different opinion of the man other than your own. My email address is hilliar1@gmail.com and I'd love to discuss Dr. Buffong and any other matters that are on your mind.

Jonathan Hilliard

Thank you for writing - and our e-mails over the last few days (hopefully Jonathan went through all the messages and posts) truly have shown a wide range of opinions. In fact, I guess I should wait now for the protest letter from Locks of Love.

( I guess it's a good thing for Jonathan that Steve Irwin didn't die in Columbus. Part of me would be wondering if an Australian tabloid would print the front-page headline, "Crikey Croaks.")

Keep in mind the charges against Dr. Eric Buffong which led to a plea-bargain were criminal charges. Lawsuits by alleged victims were separate cases. And consider how many women probably dated John Mark Karr, before he was arrested in Thailand....

We're open to all opinions as long as you keep them clean - and now let's see if some quick shots can spark some more:

+ Which Columbus police officer was cut off by another driver on Macon Road, had to swerve his squad car to avoid a collision - then merely honked his horn at the driver and went on his way? Maybe this officer was concerned HE might be the "road rage," and someone might have a camcorder nearby.

+ Columbus Council heard complaints from Cherokee Avenue residents that new rumble strips are NOT slowing down cars -- and the rumbling only makes things noisier. Some of us who have slept for years with windows near the Oglethorpe Bridge have some tips for them. Listen to louder radio stations -- or get some ear buds, without plugging them into your iPods.

+ Marshall Middle School Principal Melvin Blackwell told WRBL absenteeism is high there partly because of bullies. If the students aren't going to form a "fight club," maybe the faculty should....

+ Instant Message to WRBL: No, I won't do it. I will NOT focus on all the foul-ups you had Tuesday, on your first full day with a new studio and set. I'll only say this - Auburn University's football team looked much more impressive in its opener.

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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5 SEP 06: BOTTOM OF THE HILL

Labor Day is the unofficial start of election-year campaign season. At least for Democrats it is. I'm surprised Republicans haven't passed a bill creating a holiday for National Entrepreneurs' Day.

With nine weeks left before Election Day, we might as well get the campaign chase underway -- so we have this e-mail, which reached us several days ago:

....Please let your readers know that Sanford Bishop has just been ranked DEAD LAST out of 437 congressmen for legislative effectiveness. This is according to www.congress.org . Please encourage your readers to check out this website. Unfortuanately it also lists the Georgia Congressional delegation dead last at 50th in the nation.

Keep up the good work....

Thanks,

Dave

This comes from Dave Eversman, whose book was advertised here in recent weeks - and who challenged Rep. Sanford Bishop for Congress a few years ago. It's nice to know some losing candidates don't hold any bitterness....

I admittedly was a bit reluctant to call up the Congress.org web site. After all, there's a web site with "White House" in its name which actually is filled with pornography. The last thing I wanted to find was fake nude pictures of Cynthia McKinney or Richard Shelby.

But don't worry, Congress.org is a safe web site - and filled with political news and information. It's operated by a company called "Capitol Advantage" - which sounds like it ought to be lobbying lawmakers for road projects or something.

Congress.org keeps "power rankings" of state delegations, as well as individual lawmakers. When we checked the web site Monday, Georgia's delegation indeed ranked 50^th among the states -- which apparently means it's the least powerful of all. Yeah, but just wait until the Northern All-Stars tour Washington....

The power rankings of Congress.org are based on 15 different factors. They include a lawmaker's position in Congress, success in passing bills, and "actions taken to influence the legislative agenda." So apparently you have to make a certain number of phone calls a day....

(Has any political science ever done a study, on whether "power ties" make a difference in these rankings?)

But from what I found at Congress.org, the web page listing Georgia lawmakers and their individual rankings do NOT show Rep. Sanford Bishop "dead last out of 437 Congressmen." For one thing, the House only has 435 members -- so would he even rank below the non-voting delegate from Puerto Rico?

The power ranking page I saw had Rep. Sanford Bishop at number 247 overall. That happens to put him above two other Columbus-area members of Congress -- and Lynn Westmoreland and Phil Gingrey are both Republicans. Perhaps that's because Bishop has been in Congress longer. Or perhaps he knows how to get on his knees and beg to the right committee chairs.

Georgia's first-term U.S. Senators also placed low on the power rankings. Saxby Chambliss is 64^th out of 100 Senators, while Johnny Isakson is 84^th. The man who once ran as "Rock the Boat Johnny" apparently is learning it's better to row the boat first.

By comparison, Alabama lawmakers do much better in the power rankings. Congress.org puts them 20^th among the states, with both Senators in the top half of the table. Critics at local web sites would argue it's because of the "pork-barrel spending" they bring back home -- but then, that spending could be called repaying my tax dollars with interest.

It turns out one of our area lawmakers is almost in the top ten percent of the House "power rankings." Rep. Terry Everett, whose district includes Barbour County, places 46^th. I guess that explains why the four-laning of U.S. 431 suddenly stopped for years at the Russell County line.

E-MAIL UPDATE: We have one more message, only this is less political and a bit more bizarre:

Hello Richard,

Sometime last week there was an article in the Ledger about the father of Richard Davis coming to town. If you remember this was the Ft. Benning soldier who was stabbed to death a few years ago. The article reported that Lanny Davis was here to see Judge Peters to ask for his sons remains to be returned. We were talking about this at work and someone said that Judge Peters wasn't the judge on the trial so we were wondering why he was the one being asked?? It is a sad thing that these people still don't have their sons remains.

Daves

You raise a good question, and I don't have a good immediate answer. Perhaps the family believes Bobby Peters has extra clout, as a former Columbus Mayor. Perhaps he's simply the best-known name among local judges - although Haywood Turner could be on the verge of changing that.

Now for other items from a light Labor Day lineup:

+ Jordan High School had holiday classes, because it's still making up days lost in August to construction work. Did anyone bother trying to bring in a member of the construction team, to give a lecture on how important Labor Day is?

+ The annual Muscular Dystrophy Telethon on WRBL brought more than $244,000 in Columbus pledges. Considering the studio took two days to prepare for that telethon, perhaps Katie Couric can be asked to present the local news from New York today and tomorrow.

(Isn't life strange like that? WRBL begged for hours, to raise $244,000 in donations - while over on another channel, Tiger Woods earned three times that much by simply playing four rounds of golf.)

+ Instant Message to the checkout woman at the downtown Phenix City Piggly Wiggly: You saw the people behind me buying beans and potato salad, and concluded they had a Labor Day barbecue planned. Did you ever figure out what I was planning - with a half-gallon of milk and a bag of corn chips?

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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for 4 SEP 06: THREE AND OUT

The dream officially died Sunday morning, at about 9:45. The dream died on Interstate 85, just south of the Union City Shannon Mall interchange. And as the dream died, the car in front of me in the exit ramp had a Bob Poydasheff reelection bumper sticker on it. Make of that what you will....

We were driving toward Athens for Round 3 of Power Frisbee of Georgia - when one of our tires blew out on the highway. For the second Sunday in a row, on the way to a match. I wound up making my third trip to a Wal-Mart for tire repair in as many Sundays. Now I can relate to the women who feel like it's their second home.

The first blowout occurred last Sunday on Highway 520, just south of Richland. I limped the car back there, and a passing family kindly offered me a working jack to put on a spare. Neither of my jacks works - one because I lifted it too high a few years ago, and the other because the hydraulic knob you're supposed to turn apparently needs a hydraulic wrench to move it.

My first tire problem was with the left rear tire, on a Sunday where I could afford to have trouble [21 Aug]. The Richland blowout was with the right front tire. Sunday on Interstate 85, the left front tire blew up. So I had TWO tires changed at Wal-Mart - because as I told the attendant, I didn't want to hit the quadrella.

I thought the Richland blowout might have occurred because I was in the right lane of Highway 520, and drove too close to the "loose stuff" along the side. So this time, I drove down the center lane of Interstate 85 near Union City - but a tire blew up again. And the Power Frisbee budget simply did NOT allow for renting limousines to matches every week.

But thankfully, the left front tire blew up a half-mile from the Union City interchange - and with the right lane open, I steered the car to the shoulder and limped it up the exit ramp and down the hill to Wal-Mart at about 15 miles per hour. Bits of chopped rubber bounced up as I did, with a few bouncing off my windshield. It was sort of like a chunky version of a "fountain city."

I faced a decision as I steered toward Wal-Mart. Do I stop completely to have the tire fixed -- or have the spare tire put on, hurrying on to Athens from there? Given the Sunday trend of recent weeks, I chose to stop completely. If I had plowed on, Someone bigger than me might have decided to teach me a lesson and blow up the right rear tire as well.

Wal-Marts on Sunday mornings have lines of people needing various kinds of car repair - so it was almost two hours before my humble Honda was hobbled into the bay for service. I'd timed the trip to reach Athens around 12:00 noon, for open Power Frisbee tryouts at 12:30. At this point, part of me wished another stadium custodian might be delayed.

A two-hour wait provided plenty of time for strolling around the Wal-Mart SuperCenter. The Union City store had something I'd never seen before - women wearing Muslim scarves over their heads, swinging children's baseball bats in the aisle.

That Wal-Mart also had something Columbus area stores did not - the end of my long search for a pair of burgundy socks. It's a thin dressy pair, found in a row with colors of pink and purple. In other words, they're perfect for wearing to a C.M.E. church service.

My two passes through the Wal-Mart store also seemed to have messages aimed directly at me, through the public address system. The first trip had Fats Domino singing, "I'm Walkin'" -- which for a while I was. The second time, I heard The Silhouettes' big hit from 1958: "Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip, boom boom boom boom boom boom, Get a Job."

(I actually made a prediction about a third song I was going to hear during the day - but it turns out I never heard Boyz 2 Men sing, "The End of the Road.")

I realized as soon as the blowout occurred that my Power Frisbee dream was dead - but the two-hour wait allowed me plenty of time to consider what might have gone wrong. Was I too consigned to defeat, after how the first two rounds went? Did I sin in some way Saturday, to disqualify me from a blessing Sunday? And was this how Jeff Gordon started in stock car racing?

In an unusual move for me, I actually brought up my situation with a woman next to me on car repair waiting area. "It's no fun when your dream dies," I told her.

"I know," she replied -- perhaps wondering if I was leading up to an early Sunday brunch date.

At a few minutes after 12:00 noon, the "two-tire stop" was complete and I could hit the road again. I wound up with four new tires in 15 days -- but it's no fun getting four the hard way.

Some people might have surrendered at this point, turned around and headed home. But I had to keep going to Athens -- because the stadium custodian was opening the gate at 12:00 noon, and he was being paid by the hour along with a security person. First came the tire trial, now a time trial....

After hurrying through Atlanta on Interstate 85, I seemed to hit almost every red light on Highway 316 between Lawrenceville and Athens. When you stop for a splash of gas on the way, and the pump tells you the credit card receipt is waiting inside, it's simply not your day.

Add one wrong turn for not understanding my Google Maps directions, and I finally arrived at the Athens stadium at 2:05 p.m. The gate was open, all right - but there really was no gate at all leading to the football field. The only things in the way were a car and a truck parked on the sidewalk. And the pickup would have only stopped teenagers used to borrowing their parents' Buicks.

The stadium custodian and security person were NOT on hand, but I decided to wait for their return. After all, they probably had waited on me for two hours. If I had to wait two hours on them, it was only fair - and besides, I was "paying my fine" on the spot in the form of checks.

By the way, no one else was visible at the Athens stadium. No throwers who wanted to try out. No fans who wanted to watch Power Frisbee. Even the umpires hired to officiate the match had left - so at least they didn't assess me a penalty for delay of the game.

After about 30 minutes, two men walked out of a clubhouse. They turned out to be Clarke Central High School's head football coach and defensive coordinator. Apparently they were plotting strategy for next Friday night's game - because I can't imagine they were watching Andre Agassi's final tennis match on TV.

One of the coaches called the custodian on a cell phone, explained who I was, then agreed to accept the three checks I had to write: stadium rental, custodian and security. The umpires are being paid through an association in metro Atlanta - as I pay the officials, so the players don't feel they have to do it.

"Hang in there," the defensive coordinator said to encourage me. "Don't let a blown tire stop your dream." But he didn't realize it was a combination of things -- two blown tires, four winning throwers who apparently didn't want to play more than one week, and hundreds of dollars for radio commercials without even a station announcer showing up.

I appreciated the words of encouragement, but knew the end of Power Frisbee had occurred. In fact, the previous Sunday I remembered the longtime nickname of Clarke Central High School's football stadium - Death Valley.

Here's hoping YOUR Labor Day weekend is going much better than mine. To borrow from two intersections on Highway 316 in Gwinnett County, may it be Hi-Hope Road.... and not Hurricane Shoals.

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: Because of our mourning over the end of Power Frisbee, the item we promised would be next instead will be addressed on Tuesday.)

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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3 SEP 06: SWIFT SADLY

Who was the genius who came up with this idea? You tell mill workers they're losing their jobs - at the start of Labor Day weekend?! Do these business managers really want a surge of union votes?!

The "lousy timing of the year" award may go to Swift Galey, which told Columbus employees Friday both local plants will close by October 30. At least the employees received nearly two months' notice - but announcing this right before Labor Day tells me the management wasn't taught about Labor Day in their M.B.A. programs.

(When I think about Labor Day, I recall a commentary by the late Chuck McClure on WRCG. It somewhat mocked lines of Northern union workers years ago who reportedly were "marching in phalanx." In this part of the country, they don't even march in Phenix....)

As many as 800 workers will lose their jobs, when Swift Galey closes. Who knows how many of them will mark the Labor Day holiday with a protest cookout - and burn denim clothing in their Char-Broil grills?

Swift Galey actually plans to combine operations with "Denim North America" near Woodruff Farm Road. The new name will be "Swift Galey D.N.A." But you wonder if even the workers there will pass the D.N.A. test....

Swift Galey managers say demand for their products simply has declined. You know, maybe the name is part of the problem. In a Bible Belt city, anything called "Galey" immediately is held in suspicion.

Mayor Bob Poydasheff says the cutbacks by Swift Galey shows what can happen when Columbus competes in a global economy. Come to think of it, the mayor's reelection speech only mentioned the jobs which entered Columbus in the last three-and-a-half years - he didn't mention how many had left.

But not all the labor news is negative this Labor Day weekend. The Columbus Chamber of Commerce announced Pitts Enterprises will employ 50 workers, and build trailers on Victory Drive. I assume the Chamber now will begin negotiations, to ensure The Waggoners attach the trailers to their trucks.

E-MAIL UPDATE: More messages keep arriving about the world champion Northern Little League team - one going back to the regional tournament:

The booster club at CHS rented a Tahoe for Bobby to drive to the Little League play off in FLa...who said there is no recruiting in Columbus,oh that was Charlie Flowers..

I've been too busy to confirm this claim about Columbus High baseball coach Bobby Howard. But apparently the booster club had money left over, more than two months after the high school season ended. I'm not sure why Coach Howard didn't - since his baseball camps couldn't possibly have been rained out.

Here's one more message about the world champs:

I hope a contractor names some streets for the boys..How cool,Kyle Court,Justin Dr,.....

We suggested here the other day at least one Columbus road was named after a Little Leaguer years ago - but Cody Road disappeared, for those highfalutin' university folks.

A quick check of the Columbus city map finds one Little League player's first name already is taken. There's a Mason (Meyers) Street south of Martin Luther King Boulevard, near Elizabeth Canty Homes. How many times do you think his family has even driven close to that neighborhood?

By the way, the Northern All-Stars were honored at halftime of Saturday night's Notre Dame-Georgia Tech football game. It may have marked the first time in years that Tech fans applauded a team wearing North Carolina's colors.

POWER FRISBEE TODAY: If any place in the state should be filled with frisbee fans, you'd think it's the University of Georgia. Power Frisbee heads to Athens today - but no, we resisted the temptation to play on the lawn, in the middle of the campus.

Our radio ads in Athens note the tickets to Power Frisbee cost only five dollars. "Try getting into that Bulldog game for five dollars, and see what they tell you," we note. Come to think of it, you may have trouble finding a place to park on game days for five dollars.

There's already an ominous sign about today's Power Frisbee matches. The high school who's letting us rent their stadium told us at midweek the public address system would NOT be available today. We may need two sets of tryouts - one for frisbee throwers, the other like the National Hollering Contest.

Now for other notes from the holiday weekend:

+ Russell County Sheriff Tommy Boswell told WRBL he plans to ask the county commission for a 20-percent department-wide raise. Yeow, not even Jim Wetherington is daring to promise something like that....

+ WRBL presented its Saturday night late newscast from the "Opelika-Auburn News." Anchor Heather Jensen promised they'll be back in Columbus Monday night -- and I'm hearing they'll have a new news set. Unless, of course, the Muscular Dystrophy telethon gets so wild that it gets torn up....

(Yet for some odd reason, the weather and sports on WRBL were presented from Columbus. I've heard of TV newsrooms having tension and turmoil on weekends, but this may top them all.)

+ Auburn University's Trustees voted to change Ed Richardson's title from "Interim President" to "President." It took them more than two years to reach this decision -- which makes you wonder how long "temporary employees" are allowed to work on campus.

+ Alabama held off Hawaii 25-17 in its season opener. Some of the Hawaii players had special uniforms, which they could attach to machinery on the sidelines to blow 40-degree cold air inside their jerseys. [True/WEAM-AM] Why a team from Hawaii would be so worried about Alabama heat and humidity, I have no idea....

+ The Atlanta Falcons made their final roster cuts, and released linebacker Chad Lavalais. Lavalais was declared "Mo Money, Mo Money, Mo Money" by a Louisiana State sideline reporter when he played there - and now that reporter may find Lavalais asking him for a loan.

+ Instant Message to the Bavarian House restaurant on Weems Road: What gives here? Your sign outside promised music from "Wally and Mike" next weekend - and now it only says Wally. Did Wally decide he could perform without a Mike?

COMING NEXT: (Likely on Tuesday) Georgia ranks number 50, in something powerful....

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 8210 (+ 287, 3.6%)

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© 2003-06 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

for 2 SEP 06: PRAY OF THE DAY

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find this item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

This e-mail reached us about an upcoming event, which might be of interest to you:

The P.A.U. Community Prayer will be held on Saturday, September 9th at 8:30 AM at the Bandstand at Lakebottom Park. It will be a wonderful opportunity for our comunity to come together and promote passion for God, awareness of issues facing our city, state and country, and unity in the community. There will be food and fellowship, and also musical selections from local musician. Hope to see you there!

For more information, please contact Ms. Darren Archibald at 706-566-4740

Michele Zack

Citizens for Weaver

I admittedly don't know what the "P.A.U. Community" is. I thought Lakebottom Park was in the St. Elmo neighborhood - but maybe the name is sponsored by some corporation now.

Praying for the community sounds like a good thing to do - but do you notice how the announcement is signed? Will she be praying for unity in District 1, through Nathan Suber dropping out of the election?

Hopefully this group will be careful in how it prays at 8:30 on a Saturday morning. Last weekend an evangelist in Fort Payne, Alabama was arrested at a "big tent revival" - because police said he prayed too loudly. This is what happens when the man running audio becomes convicted by the sermon, and leaves his post to walk down the aisle.

The traveling evangelist from Oklahoma who was arrested in Fort Payne says he's now praying for God to send a curse on the officers who arrested him. How strange does this sound - fulfilling the Bible verse which says "evil men.... shall was worse and worse," by asking God to take charge and do it Himself?

I know some people who pan public prayers, such as what the evangelist did under the revival tent or the Lakebottom Park event. They note Jesus advised to pray secretly in a closet. But for some people, this could be difficult - for instance, if your closet is full of expensive Stiletto shoes.

Yet these critics seem to forget that while Jesus did talk about prayer closets, He prayed several times in public. He had to do it, to bless the loaves and fish which fed 5,000 people. I don't read anywhere about the disciples walking around with poles and curtains.

And some of Jesus's most memorable prayers to the Father came as He was crucified. A sizeable crowd was on hand to watch that moment - and while it was cloudy, there's nothing in the Bible about a driving rainstorm working like a waterfall.

My point is that prayer can happen at all kinds of times, in all sorts of ways. But sadly, it can happen with all sorts of attitudes. You can be quiet and humble before God, or you can be angry and furious. And He was hearing complaints about bad customer service long before restaurants came along.

I would suggest you're more likely to win God's favor by coming before Him in prayer with a quiet spirit. After all, God is a law enforcer every it as much as those Fort Payne police officers are....

SCHEDULED SUNDAY: A terrible case of Labor Day timing....

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1 SEP 06: ACQUIRED IMMUNITY

Talk about an amazing case of timing! The new "Ma Rainey Blues Museum" was opened to the public Thursday morning - and only hours later, civil rights groups had reason to sing the blues all over again.

Federal Judge Clay "Law of the" Land ruled Thursday the city of Columbus CANNOT be sued for damages, by the three men who rode with Kenneth Walker on the night he was killed. The Muscogee County Sheriff's Department cannot be sued, either. So suddenly, we don't need a one-cent sales tax increase as badly as we thought.

The 62-page decision from Judge Clay Land said Kenneth Walker's family and his three buddies still can sue former Sheriff's Deputy David Glisson and current officers Jim Price and Rick Stinson. We haven't heard about those other officers much in this case - so we still don't know if the Price was right.

Judge Clay Land drew a complex line in his opinion - saying the current and former Sheriff's officers cannot be sued in their "official capacity," but can be sued individually. Does this mean the defendants can't wear badges into the courtroom, during their trial?

Once the ruling was issued, the spinning by attorneys began. Walker family attorney Bill Mitchell told WRBL he was pleased with the decision, because "all Mrs. Walker wanted was her day in court." Of course, this could have been said about the motion hearing at the federal courthouse in mid-July.

Plaintiff's attorney Joseph Wiley admitted he was disappointed that not all the claims he requested will go to trial. But at least, he said, the lawsuit remains alive. Privately, Wiley must be stunned by this - that a white Republican judge appointed by President Bush is giving Kenneth Walker's family more of a chance than a mixed-ethnically grand jury did.

On the other side, the attorney for David Glisson didn't seem stunned by the ruling. Richard Hagler noted further appeals of the decision could delay a civil trial for another year. That means Columbus voters will have a chance to vote out everyone associated with the Kenneth Walker case. Well, except for Councilor Mimi Woodson - there's no write-in candidate against her.

Richard Hagler said any lawsuit against former Deputy David Glisson won't wind up with much in damages. He explained that's partly because Glisson is practically broke. I guess Summit Hospital decided not to hire any security guards....

Richard Hagler insists the shooting of Kenneth Walker was "not about race," and he says he resents civil rights groups continually trying to paint it that way. Well OK, let's look at it in the more appropriate way - a way I hadn't really thought about until the other day. Why wasn't David Glisson at home with HIS family on the night of the shooting?

The Columbus City Attorney said he was pleased with Judge Clay Land's decision - but otherwise, city officials didn't say much. Maybe they already spent the potential damages, on that big welcome-home party for the Little Leaguers.

One big leftover question from Thursday's ruling is whether Columbus Council now will approve a "settlement" payment to Kenneth Walker's family. If Judge Clay Land says the city is immune from lawsuits in this case, there may not be anything to settle -- well, other than the emotions of Walker's mother.

The first thing which crossed my mind when I heard about Judge Clay Land's ruling was the timing of it. If the Northern Little League team hadn't won the World Series, would we have seen this decision last week?

BLOG UPDATE: Perhaps there's a fringe benefit to the Northern Little League winning the World Series. It's helped me heal a bit from a rough start to my new sport, Power Frisbee of Georgia. After last Thursday's opening night in Augusta, I can understand why many Broadway shows open in New Haven....

3:50 p.m.: I arrive at the high school football stadium we've booked for Premiere Night. A touch of rain is falling, but it's worse in other parts of the Augusta area. And I'm treating this like a football game, playing it rain or shine -- unless you can't see from one goal post to the other.

A side gate is open near the football team clubhouse, so I walk through it and begin setting up the field. With a starting time of 6:00, a custodian from the school district is supposed to be there at the planned opening time of 4:00. Two police cars were at the main school entrance minutes before - so maybe I'm getting an extra security guard instead.

4:05 p.m.: I happen to spot two people in the clubhouse equipment room, and tell them about what's planned that evening. One of the two reveals he doesn't have a key to the press box. How are we supposed to play James Brown songs on my newly-purchased boombox without a public address system?

The couple in the clubhouse load up some items, and leave. It turns out they don't come back, and they didn't open the football stadium's main gates for me. They ARE on the school staff, aren't they?!

4:15 p.m.: With no custodian on hand yet, I take a question mark-shaped long walk around the high school to the front entrance. An assistant principal is still inside, and I ask about a press box key - but he doesn't seem to know Power Frisbee is scheduled there. I left posters to put on the bulletin boards weeks before, but maybe warnings about handguns covered them up.

The assistant principal calls the school district athletic director's office for me - but winds up leaving voice mail. I can understand this. It took me about two months' worth of calls and e-mails simply to get the reservation approved -- not to mention a three-week Independence Day break.

4:30 p.m.: I make the long walk back to the football stadium, and do so warily. I left three bags of items under a table on the field. Anywhere else, I feared they could be stolen -- but so many high school students can be unobservant, they might not be.

Then comes a moment of concern, as a team full of high school football players heads for the clubhouse. I stand outside nearby, to ask a coach if they're planning a practice session or something -- except no one who looks like a coach ever appears. And those linemen are even beefier than I am, should an argument break out.

5:00 p.m.: With no football coach and still no custodian to open the gates, the first support personnel arrive to help with Premiere Night. They're volunteers recruited from a Seventh-Day Adventist Church. We stand, chat and wait for a LONG time - but stop short of starting a prayer meeting.

5:30 p.m.: The man who's throwing for Augusta in the season opener arrives right on time. He's supposed to play against someone a female thrower is bringing with her from Savannah. But there's still no custodian, and a football team putting on pads and uniforms -- and I was not about to ask each player for a five-dollar admission fee.

A few fans have started arriving for Premiere Night as well. The dad in one family is told we're starting at 6:00, so he decides to go get a sandwich. He even offers to buy me one. Some people find creative ways to get discounts to big events.

6:00 p.m.: It's the scheduled starting time for Premiere Night, and still no custodian has arrived to open the main gates. On top of that, the woman recommended to sing the national anthem has just arrived -- 30 minutes late. The rain has stopped at our stadium, but maybe God put a bubble around it while dumping a monsoon everywhere else.

Oh yes, someone else has not shown up - the woman from Savannah who's providing our challengers for the night. I even offered to play the woman in an
exhibition, to start the evening. But the later it gets, the less I feel like Bobby Riggs.

6:10 p.m.: With a wait now underway for several people, a school district bus rolls up to the football clubhouse. It's not our custodian, but the driver taking the football team to a pre-season scrimmage in another part of Augusta. If all the bulky players breathe in and out at the same time, they just might fit.

6:25 p.m.: The national anthem singer has to get to work, so she and her husband leave. Did the Chattahoochee Valley Vipers ever have this sort of problem?

6:30 p.m.: The crowded football bus rolls away - and the woman from Savannah calls my answering machine to admit she got lost, and couldn't find any Power Frisbee match now that she's in Augusta. There are only two problems with this. My answering machine is in Columbus, and I don't have a cell phone.

6:40 p.m.: The woman from Savannah finally finds our group in the parking lot. "I got lost," she explained. I'm happy merely to have competitors for a real match -- although frisbees probably would skip really well in a wet parking lot.

Trouble is, the Savannah woman couldn't find a man to join her on the trip to throw. Since no woman tried out from Augusta for Power Frisbee (that's why I was substituting, to play the woman), we had a strange case of mixed singles. Well, check that - the man from Augusta brought his wife.

At last we have throwers to go on the field to play. And if the custodian's not going to show up, at least we have the side gate to.... well, check that as well. While I was chatting with the guests, the football game locked up the side gate when they left for the scrimmage.

"This is getting ridiculous!" I exclaim as I begin walking around the stadium in search of ANY other open gate. Three bags and four corner posts now were locked inside. And if I had to wait in the parking lot until the football team returned from its scrimmage, a police officer might arrest me for loitering.

Amazingly, I find an opening to get into the football stadium - on the opposite side from the parking lot, thanks to a hole in a fence you can crawl through. I walk across the field and tell the group what I found. The throwers have mercy on me, and decide to walk around. Some of the fans actually are thin enough to fit inside a gap in a locked gate to reach the field - but they pay me admission, anyway.

7:00 p.m.: I serve as umpire for the first real (?) game of Power Frisbee. The woman from Savannah and the man from Augusta decide to play in the wet grass barefoot. Well, I promised not to damage the field with cleats....

The man from Augusta wins the one-game exhibition 5-2. As I present thank-you Premiere Night gifts and we gather ourselves to leave for the evening, suddenly I notice the stadium lights are coming on. The school district's custodian has arrived - three-and-a-half hours late.

At least a main gate is now open, to make it easier to reload my car. As I do, the custodian gets a cell phone call from the district athletic director. Yes, the school custodian has a cell phone - but I had to spend money on radio and TV time, or else the stands would have been even emptier than they were.

"I apologize to you," the athletic director tells me on the cell phone. "I didn't know if you were still on, because of the rain." Well, I never called him to cancel the match - and only the assistant principal back at the school entrance seemed to have his phone number.

"I got stuck in a meeting, and I forgot to tell a custodian to head out there," the athletic director adds. Perhaps now you understand the blog entry we posted last weekend on commitment....

The athletic director promises to refund my money, and I accepted that. I'm still waiting for the check in the mail, as I write this. In fact, I'm still waiting for a copy of the stadium contract I signed in his office on the last day of July.

I leave apologizing to practically everyone who showed up for the occasion. Power Frisbee's Premiere Night turned out to be a lot like that old children's game Mystery Date -- only I didn't get a dream, but a dud.

E-MAIL UPDATE: One of Wednesday's e-mails about the late Columbus doctor Eric Buffong brought a quick response from North Carolina:

I would like to make a comment about the "eye for an eye"...Did anyone who made that insensitive comment even know Dr. B? No this was a man of great intergrity who was accused of something that really changed our lives. Regardless of the outcome Alisha was a great person and so was Mr. B!!! This is a family that would bend over backwards to help any and everyone. The whole Buffong family from his wife to his daughters and Mr.B were very special to our community of Jacksonville. They took in kids of all ages and encouraged, pushed and even financially backed, and we are not saying one or two but maybe fifty kids. Never did they settle for less and it was unfortunate that Mr. Buffong pleaded to lesser charges and did not stand his ground like he had wanted to. A greatly missed man, who left this earth way to soon but not alone because he went with his "Angel" Alisha!!!

Alisha is Dr. Buffong's daughter, who died with him in a car crash in Clayton County last Saturday morning. I'm left wondering if the doctor was giving in his death -- like a "living will," donating those dreadlocks to Locks of Love.

Now a quick wrap-up of other Thursday news:

+ It was the first anniversary of the great Columbus "gas panic" - and prices ended the day about 50 cents lower than they were a year ago [1 Sep 05]. It looks like school is still on in Muscogee County for next Tuesday.

+ The Little League world champions finally went back to middle school. Some of them had a "V.I.P. Table" in the lunchroom, with their favorite foods - not from the cafeteria, but places such as Ruby Tuesday and B. Merrill's. Does this put the players' amateur status at risk?

+ The Columbus Catfish honored the Northern All-Stars on the final night of the home schedule. But WRBL didn't show any of the players in the stands or skyboxes - so maybe the Little Leaguers have moved on already, and they watched the Atlanta Falcons game on TV.

+ Instant Message to Edgar Champagne: What's this I'm reading about WAGH-FM "Magic 98.3" adding Steve Harvey in the morning? What's going to happen to your morning show? Are you moving to afternoons, and serving beer instead?

People across metro Columbus and around the world read this blog every day. To advertise to them, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

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© 2003-06 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.