7 SEP 06: AM I TOUGH ENOUGH?

You can tell an election is near when the candidates talk a lot about how they plan to fight crime. The one exception this year could be the Columbus Mayor's race - where the candidates seem to disagree about whether crime is a problem or not.

Three high-ranking state candidates focused on various aspects of crime Wednesday. Alabama Attorney General Troy King did so in person, visiting with Lee County law officers in Opelika. In a mild surprise, he did NOT show up to crack down on Opelika's public smoking ban....

Troy King said he's touring Alabama to make sure the state's new sex offender laws are working -- especially the one about "community notification," when a convicted sex offender moves into a neighborhood. Don't you wish they expanded that, to cover the burglars out on parole?

Lee County officials assured Attorney General King that the new sex offender laws are working. That's exactly what King wanted to hear, since he's up for election two months from today. If they said otherwise, he'd have to go door-to-door doing more than campaigning.

Troy King told reporters he's on a "listening tour" about the sex offender law. Yet he certainly was ready to talk about his ideas for making the law even tougher....

The Alabama Attorney General said he wants the death penalty for serial sex offenders. Troy King also wants convicted sex offenders barred from YMCA's -- which would make that song by the Village People outdated. Those places would NOT be for people "down and out with the blues."

Troy King's "law check" serves two purposes: he at least appears to do his job, while getting free attention for the upcoming election. King's opponent for Alabama Attorney General is a District Attorney in Mobile -- and if he's campaigned in this area, he seems to be doing it undercover.

Across the line, Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue announced his own steps against crime Wednesday -- only he focused on fraud at driver's license offices. Uh-oh, I might actually have to weigh myself the next time I'm up for renewal....

But seriously: Governor Sonny Perdue wants to crack down on the number of illegal immigrants obtaining driver's licenses. First Republicans tried to change the identification rules for voting. Now it's the rules for getting the identification. What's next - surprise raids of Mexican restaurants, to require a certain number of white servers?

Governor Sonny Perdue wants to put state investigators in the ten busiest drivers' license offices in Georgia, to monitor whether illegal immigrants are receiving licenses. If Columbus doesn't have one of the ten busiest offices, that might be grounds for an investigation of its own.

For all the attention Governor Perdue's announcement received, there's one small detail you may have overlooked. The Georgia General Assembly has to approve the proposals -- next year, after the election. Apparently the Governor doesn't consider illegal immigration as dangerous as homosexual marriage, and worthy of a special session.

Sonny Perdue's opponent in the Georgia Governor's race is also talking tough about crime these days. Mark Taylor's first TV commercial since winning the Democratic primary warns about violent criminals going free on parole. In other words, he wants Cottonmouths hockey rules - and you serve all five minutes of a major penalty for fighting.

Mark Taylor says if you vote for him two months from today, he'll offer a constitutional amendment abolishing parole for violent crimes. But don't judges and juries have the option of imposing "life without parole" sentences now? Has the "two strikes" policy suddenly changed, so foul balls don't count?

Mark Taylor warns in his commercial that some violent criminals in Georgia are receiving parole long before their sentences are over. It sounds like he's saying the policy of "time off for good behavior" suddenly is bad behavior....

(By the way, Mark Taylor speaks for himself in his latest campaign commercial. It's not clear when Andrew Young's probation period will end.)

If you're looking for a break from all these candidates holding political "tough guy" contests, I found one Wednesday in the mail. For some reason, I received another gambling offer - and discovered former Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura is endorsing an online sports book. I thought Internet gambling was illegal. But then, I never thought a one-time professional wrestler would become a governor.

BLOG UPDATE: Wednesday's mail also brought a letter from recent e-mailer and blog-vertiser Dave Eversman. He sent hard copy proof that the Congress.org web site recently ranked Rep. Sanford Bishop 437^th among all House members, in the "legislation" category. Indeed, Bishop placed lower than the non-voting delegate from Guam. So do guava farmers have more clout than peanut farmers?

Yet another check of the very same rankings at Congress.org Wednesday night showed a different number for Sanford Bishop. Instead of 437^h in legislation, he's now in a tie for number 50 with 115 other House members. So if Bishop claims he's in the "top 50" among all House members, that's true - but so is everybody else.

Congress.org apparently changed its ranking numbers over the last two weeks, because the hard-copy list I was mailed showed Bishop and 115 other House members with the same score in legislation. That score was a zero - but look on the bright side. If they're not introducing bills, they're saving paper.

The Congress.org web site gave no real reason for ranking Sanford Bishop higher or lower than the 115 other House members. That's apparently why the tanking numbers were changed, to reflect a massive tie -- a tie in the standings almost as big as all college football teams had one week ago.

We should note the refigured rankings for legislation put Sanford Bishop in a last-place tie with several other Columbus-area lawmakers, including Alabama's Terry Everett and Georgia's Jim Marshall. Bishop is even tied with Atlanta lawmaker John Lewis -- only we have yet to hear Bishop brag about all the civil rights marches he's joined.

E-MAIL UPDATE: As for the top race in Columbus, our messages keep focusing on one particular big thing....

I would like to think that we could Bob Poydasheff could be fronted out for false advertising! I mean, come on, what was the real reasoning behind using a 20 year old picture of himself for his website and for his billboards. Does he think that if he looks younger he will get more votes than Jim.

Now hold on a second! If Katie Couric can have her promotional photos airbrushed, why not the Mayor?

Since so many people are bringing this up - how old IS that picture of Mayor Bob Poydasheff on the billboards? Are we going to have to bring in a team of archeologists, to use carbon dating?

Meanwhile, the write-in candidate for Mayor has at least one business backing him. A Burt Coker sign has gone up outside the downtown Meineke Muffler shop. To borrow from the TV commercials, Coker's not going to pay a lot for that endorsement.

Now let's rest our politically weary bones, and check other items from Wednesday:

+ The high temperature in Columbus was 82 degrees F., making it the city's coolest day since May 17. It was SO COOL that arguments about office thermostat settings dropped by 50 percent.

+ Muscogee County school officials said the district has about 30 openings for bus drivers. You know, this is a golden opportunity to heal relations between local leaders -- by having newly-hired police officers drive school buses for extra money.

+ The world champion Northern All-Stars Little League team was honored with lunch at the Columbus Rotary Club. Player Patrick Stallings showed up in a suit and tie, not a baseball uniform - which may mean his future in sports is as an agent.

+ Instant Message to the boy I saw punching a girl along South Lumpkin Road: After thinking it over, I should explain something I said to you. That phrase, "Can we all get along?" - someone came up with that line before you were born, so it's no wonder you answered the question no.

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