for 25 SEP 06: ARE YOU SO INCLINED?
Today you get to join me in playing detective. We've posted three pictures as clues in our "Monday Mystery," and your job is to figure out what it all means. There's no prize if you're the first person to figure out the answer - but there may be openings soon for investigators on the Russell County Sheriff's Department.
We'll discuss the pictures below -- so no peeking! While you ponder them, let's get other things out of the way....
E-MAIL UPDATE: An e-mailer seemed ready for some fall housecleaning on Sunday:
I'm not voting for anyone in Columbus in any office to return to that position..from the school board, to the city council, to the mayor's chair...I think they have all let down the voters of Columbus. The next mind boggling future political move would be for Hughley to run for mayor and Phillips to run for city manager..
I agree with you - that scenario WOULD be mind-boggling. For one thing, the City Manager's job isn't an elected office.
You have to give credit to the Hugley family for one thing: it's NOT all in one aspect of government. Isaiah Hugley is City Manager. Carolyn Hugley is a State House member. Patricia Hugley Green serves on the Muscogee County School Board. So you'd think one could mediate between the other two....
OVERHEARD OVER HERE: Four women are sitting together at a nice Columbus restaurant. The conversation bounces from Auburn University football to Sunday morning habits.
"I have a routine.... read the newspaper about 9:30, then feed Blu...."
"Who's Blu?"
"That's my dog."
"You ought to get another dog, and name it Orange."
"Except the name is spelled B-L-A-Y-E-W."
AND NOW.... Back to our Monday mystery. I came upon all these clues under the Oglethorpe Bridge, at the end of a Sunday morning run. And no, there was no homeless person sleeping nearby who might have been able to explain it.
Notice the small ramp leading from the street to the sidewalk. The corner of Fourth and Broadway is near the Oglethorpe Bridge, and the sidewalks on that corner are NOT wheelchair accessible. But this ramp is so narrow, it probably won't even hold a child who eats dinner at Bludau's -- assuming one actually would ask to eat there.
There are a few wheelchair-accessible parking spaces on the south side of the Oglethorpe Bridge, anyway - so what's the deal with this ramp? Notice next the crumpled yellow bag nearby. It's a bag of "Kwikrete" instant concrete mix - as if someone used it to build the ramp recently. Yet it's not tall enough for a terrorist to reach up, and unscrew bolts on the bridge.
There's a big incline from the sidewalk beyond the ramp, to the underside of the Oglethorpe Bridge. But c'mon now - why would someone need a two-inch running start from off the curb to reach that?
The answer to all this may be found from the sticker on one of the bridge pillars. Notice it pictures a roller skate. At least that's easier to remove than the gang graffiti, which has been painted over on the big incline....
After putting these clues together, I've reached the conclusion that Columbus skateboarders have marked off their new "turf." I've seen some of them practicing stunts under the Oglethorpe Bridge in recent weeks. Now they've apparently built their own concrete ramp - as if someone's father needed two-by-fours to build a new deck.
It's one thing to bring your own items to a spot, and work on skateboard moves. It's another thing to build your own ramp out of instant concrete. My next conclusion is that these boarders must be from Jordan High School's industrial arts program....
Skateboarders also have used the Olympic monument near Golden Park to practice their maneuvers recently. It's as if they're looking for alternatives to the Christopher Columbus statue on the Riverwalk. Maybe some tourist came up to them, and challenged them to actually name the themes on the four sides.
But building your own ramp under the Oglethorpe Bridge - and out of concrete, at that - says several things about these skateboarders:
1. It's the next best thing to a commitment ceremony.
2. They need to be recruited, to help with House of Heroes construction projects.
3. If the city needs to lay off more workers to increase public safety pay, the skateboarders could be "interns" with a public works crew -- maybe building that proposed skate park.
Now a quick check of other Sunday discoveries:
+ The price of gasoline dropped again in parts of Columbus, falling to $2.17 per gallon in the downtown area. When the price doesn't go up for The Greater Columbus Fair, I can start to understand why some people are suspicious.
+ The Ledger-Enquirer printed a guest column about the Springer Opera House's 135th anniversary - purportedly written by a "Springer O. House!" This is only going to reinforce those silly ghost stories....
+ On "The Mark Richt Show," the Georgia football coach refused to name a starting quarterback for next weekend's game against Mississippi. He said the team has "three or even four guys who can do the job." So is there someone on the roster who hasn't played yet?! Or is Richt trying to arrange a trade with Washington of the N.F.L. for Jason Campbell?
(Asked if Georgia had a quarterback controversy, Richt said he's calling it a "quarterback competition." It's only a controversy, of course, if a sports reporter says it is - and that may depend on how tasty the press box food was in Athens last Saturday.)
+ Instant Message to Radio Shack at Cross Country Plaza: That was a radio station on your public address system, right?! I mean, playing "You're Never Gonna Get It" at a retail store like yours doesn't exactly send a vote of confidence to your customers.
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