27 SEP 06: A 6-3 VICTORY?

Today's candidate for quote of the year comes from Russell County Commissioner J.D. Upshaw. On Tuesday he said: "Being fair doesn't mean you have to be fair all at the same time." Either he's ready to write a parenting column for Family Circle magazine -- or he was sneakily promoting opening day of the Greater Columbus Fair.

J.D. Upshaw said these words after a closely-watched vote by the Russell County Commission. A county budget was approved which did NOT give Sheriff Tommy Boswell the 20-percent raise he requested for his staff. The deputies and their wives now will have to wait for Alabama's Governor to make it a campaign promise.

The Russell County Commission voted 7-2 for a compromise budget, which gives sheriff's deputies and jailers a six-percent raise. Everyone else on the county payroll will receive three percent more. Only one percent more for the deputies, and we might conclude the commission was inspired by the Louisiana State-Auburn game.

J.D. Upshaw cast one of the two votes against the compromise Russell County budget. He apparently wanted the entire sheriff's department to have a six percent raise, not only the deputies and jailers. But look on the bright side - now the office clerks have even more incentive to take target practice.

The other vote against the Russell County budget came from Mervin Dudley. He wanted a three-percent raise across the board, with no special treatment for deputies and jailers. Mr. Dudley had better hope for a similar response, if a deputy ever pulls him over for speeding.

But of course, the compromise Russell County budget did not please Sheriff Tommy Boswell. He wanted a 20-percent pay raise for his department, and received less than half of it. So will his warning come true? Will Mr. Boswell move to Columbus, and run for Muscogee County Sheriff in 2008?

It's curious to note that while Phenix City and Russell County complain of tight budgets, things are very different down the road in Eufaula. The City Council there will vote next week on giving some police officers a 12.4 percent raise. And that's for working in a city with NO notorious nightclubs....

The Eufaula Tribune reports that city's budget proposal would give police a big raise in several pieces. Certified officers would receive $1,500 more in April, then public safety workers would receive an extra three-percent boost in June. I never realized that spring Eufaula Pilgrimage could be so stressful.

So what makes Eufaula so different from Phenix City and Russell County? Mayor Jay Jaxon says sales tax money in the city is up significantly this fiscal year. This is why more fish need to be put in the Idle Hour Park pond....

But I want to go back to our quote of the day from J.D. Upshaw. Can you really "be fair," without being fair "all at the same time?" I mean, does this explain that Fox News Sunday interview with former President Clinton?

Now for other Tuesday thoughts, about things fair and otherwise:

+ The Greater Columbus Fair opened - and for the first time that I can remember, no TV station went to South Commons to report on opening night. Even with a memorial service, Lonnie Jackson steals the spotlight again....

(Is it good for news reporters to ignore the Greater Columbus Fair? I mean, what if someone measures the Exchange Club's foot-long hot dogs and finds they're only nine inches long?)

+ Fort Benning announced the South Lumpkin Road entrance will close permanently in late October. That's the entrance right down the road from the planned National Infantry Museum - so what's going on here? Is Benning afraid a big rush of patriotic visitors will march out of the Imax Theater and storm in?

+ Wal-Mart executives revealed the SuperCenter in Midland has yet to start construction, because of delays in obtaining easements. The more time nearby residents have to sell their homes, the happier they'll be.

+ The Muscogee County Prison Warden showed Columbus Council a trophy he received, for having the top "county correction facility" of the year in Georgia. Somehow, I have a feeling the Marion County Jail will NOT win this award next year....

(There must be a reason why the top correctional facility is awarded a trophy and not a wall plaque. It gives the warden an extra weapon, in case a revolt breaks out.)

+ The Russell County School Board approved Vivian Carter as its new superintendent. The hiring will not become final until a contract is negotiated - and probably until after the board conducts three separate criminal background checks.

+ The Opelika-Auburn News revealed Beulah High School teacher Constance Rosenblatt was arrested last week for drunk driving - on school grounds. Isn't it a little early to do these Red Ribbon Week demonstrations?

+ Briggs and Stratton announced it will lay off 200 Auburn employees at the end of the week. Sales of the company's generators are in a slump, because we haven't had any hurricanes this year. Maybe we should show compassion for these workers, by giving gas stations 20 extra cents for every gallon of gas we pump.

+ Georgia football coach Mark Richt said he'll probably use two quarterbacks in Saturday's game at Mississippi, but he still hasn't decided which one will start. This may not come down to which player takes the most snaps, but which one does the most suck-ups.

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