for 29 MAY 06: SPAM ON THE GRILL
We wish you a safe and happy Memorial Day! And we celebrate with a feast of spam - as we offer comments on some REAL e-mail message titles we've received over the last few months:
CHEERFUL COOL
Less so Sunday - 95 degrees already?!
TRAVEL AS BORDERLINE
For instance, whitewater rafting on the Chattahoochee River.
EAT GO PASSENGER
Anymore, I'd rather take the airport food aboard the flight with me.
I WAKEUP CARDPUNCH
Probably describes any computer science major who's over 40.
IN SMOKE MAXIMUM
....just outside restaurants on Broadway.
FORGET HOSPITALS?
Until they open an emergency room which only offers herbal supplements, maybe not.
BACK CREAMERY METEOROLOGY
Who could have known Darren Stack's career started at an ice cream shop?
COMMUNISM LENIENCY
So vote Republican this fall, or else.
KLEENEX CASUALTY
Anyone in the South allergic to pine pollen.
WORK SO BLADE
Not in Russell County schools, you don't - you'll get suspended.
DIAGNOSIS SYPHILIS
No TV series about a sex crime unit would dare have this title.
SCIENTIFIC SWEET
Yet I still have people warning me against drinking diet soda.
MUZAK REFRIGERATION
Sponsored by Buck Ice, I suppose.
LAUNCH SASS
What will happen if Eve Tidwell decides to return to the restaurant business.
BOILING CROAK
If your radiator does one this holiday weekend, your engine may do the other.
HAZE SERIOUSLY
Oh no - I wouldn't want Columbus State women's team to do that.
SIDESHOW HAIRCUT
The sad challenge faced by many female TV newscasters.
OBSERVATION TAIWAN
Have you noticed no Chinese restaurant in the area dares to use that island in its name?
CLASSROOM STIFFNESS
....will never win you a Golden Apple Award.
PAID MILLILITER
Any more medicine than that at the Medical Center, and your insurance probably kicks in.
BOOST TWERP
Why? Clay Aiken's done much better since "American Idol" than Ruben Studdard has.
POND PREPONDERANCE
Why I only play miniature golf.
SEASONAL PONDER
Does a new college graduate move back in with Mom and Dad or not?
PLATED CONCERT
The Columbus Civic Center really is planning a couple - once with Pretty Ricky, another with R. Kelly.
HAVE AS DIVINGBOARD
During the school year, the principal calls it a paddle.
MEDICINES FOR MEN BEFORE VALENTINE'S DAY
I actually received this one March 30 - so apparently off-season rates apply.
BAND-AID POLITICALLY CORRECT
That was then. The Dixie Chicks tour is now.
GREENERY SPRING
Browner summer? At least my neighborhood had some rain Sunday night....
NOT COLOMBIA PIANIST
....So Senator Jeff Sessions wants you deported immediately.
OTHERS MENIAL PATRIOT
The ones being honored at Fort Benning and Fort Mitchell today are anything but.
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