4 MAY 06: WHERE'S THE PARTY, AMIGO?

The first "Fiesta Columbus" opened in the South Commons parking lot Wednesday night - but it was clear right away that, as they love to say on TV, something is terribly wrong. All the rides and food booths WRBL showed had signs in English only.

Opening night events at Fiesta Columbus included the breaking of a giant candy-filled piñata. For those of you upset about the rallies for immigration reform, this could be a great stress release....

The opening-night activities in South Commons also featured a jalapeño pepper eating contest. If you missed this event, maybe Davis Broadcasting can stage another one for "Family Day in the Park" in June - and Church's Chicken would be the perfect sponsor.

A Wednesday evening jog on the Riverwalk found it is NOT fenced off around South Commons for Fiesta Columbus, as it was last weekend for Riverfest. Maybe that's designed to make things more authentic - with an open border at the river for
illegals.

Columbus Civic Center staff members say one thing which will make this event a "fiesta" is a strolling mariachi band. From what I recall about the Greater Columbus Fair, the rock music around the rides will make this band very tough to hear
-- even with blaring trumpets.

There's even a Chattahoochee Valley Vipers indoor football game at the Civic Center Saturday night, during Fiesta Columbus. Do you think they'll borrow an idea from the Cottonmouths, and wear green and red uniforms matching the Mexican flag?

Robin Walker with the Columbus Civic Center says Fiesta Columbus is designed to promote ALL cultures, not merely the Hispanic culture. Maybe so - but at least Riverfest was smart enough to add Kool and the Gang this year, for a "color balance."

But there was noticeably NO big crowd waiting to enter Fiesta Columbus when the gate opened Wednesday evening. Is it because the event is brand-new? Is it because critics are staying home, to protest the immigration rallies? Or are people quietly concerned about eating too many bean burritos?

The Columbus Civic Center has tried hard to promote Fiesta Columbus, even setting up a web site for it. But I understand its e-mails to the news media were four MEGABYTES big - for a one or two-page document! Talk about giving new meaning to "information overload...."

The Columbus Civic Center staff promises Fiesta Columbus will be an annual event around this time. Yeah, sure - just like the fair in the fall became a "Festival at South Commons" for a year or two.

Nobody asked me, but I think the Columbus Civic Center scheduled Fiesta Columbus for the wrong weekend. Why not hold it in mid-April, when Muscogee County schools are on spring break? Not all the teenagers are flying to Aruba for parties....

By the way - Instant Message to the East Alabama bloggers promoting a Cinco de Mayo boycott: Bill Heard Chevrolet has commercials on "Viva 1460" promoting a Cinco de Mayo sale starting Friday. Do you plan to stay away from the sale? Will you drive Fords instead - even if they may have Mexican parts inside?

In the best interests of "One Columbus," I'd better move on to other news items from Wednesday:

+ More than 100 Columbus police officers were honored at an annual awards ceremony. They all could receive a separate honor from the Fraternal Order of Police, for having the strength of character not to spit in Mayor Bob Poydasheff's face.

+ The federal government held meetings in Atlanta, about the impact of base realignment on Fort Benning. I didn't realize soldiers would have to look for housing so far away from post....

+ Inc. magazine rated the best cities in the country for small business. Auburn-Opelika is listed at #45, while Columbus is #361. This should prove it once and for all - Kroger stores matter.

+ Fayette County, Georgia high school student Paris Bennett was voted off "American Idol," finishing fifth. Music lovers enjoyed April in Paris -- but now it's May.

BURKARD'S BEST BETS: Gas for $2.71 a gallon at several stations downtown.... Walgreens 20-ounce sodas for 39 cents.... and the National Day of Prayer at 12:00 noon at the Phenix City Amphitheater, with FREE long-distance calls (if you know what I mean)....

SCHEDULED FRIDAY: A big-time e-mailer gets a day all to himself.... and he'd better make the most of it....

Your PayPal donations can build a better blog, and keep it independent-minded. To make a donation, offer a story tip or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 10,393 (+ 296, 2.9%, record high)

If you quote from this in public somewhere, please be polite enough to let me know.

© 2003-06 Richard Burkard, All Rights Reserved.